Disclaimer: Go to chapter 1 to read it please.

A/N: HOLY SHIT I FINALLY MANAGED TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

PS: Because the ffn formatting is being a bitch, I had to replace all the separation 'xXx's by horizontal rulers. I'm very sorry for the chapter's new appearance. *glares at ffn formatting*

Challenged Pleasure - Chapter 5

If he wasn't so busy gasping and moaning Lavi's and Kanda's names he would be huffing in frustration, but he couldn't quite manage to gather enough concentration for that right now.

Besides, Kanda was licking his balls just the right way while the redhead was currently sucking his shaft quite earnestly. He was humming while doing so, and his grip was slightly – infinitesimally – slacker, so maybe he could- ooooh, another jab at his prostate, hmmmm – he just needed a little- just a little more-

The hand's hold on the base tightened, and Lavi released Allen's cock from his mouth with a wet 'pop' to grin up at the poor British Exorcist. And he couldn't utter a word of complaint because Kanda had already replaced the redhead.

"Sooo..." Lavi began cheerfully, interrupting himself to lick his swollen lips.

"N-no way," Allen panted, beads of sweat trickling down his face as he shook his head negatively, "I'm g-g- nnnnnnh-" he groaned loudly, then struggled to concentrate again and finish his sentence. "I'm gonna wi-wiiiin- oh- t-this bet."

"That's not what I was going to say." Lavi let out an amused chuckle, glancing approvingly at Kanda for a brief moment before focusing on Allen again. "I actually meant to ask you... who's better?"

Kanda frowned and stopped his ministrations to raise a dark eyebrow at the redhead, and Allen slumped in his binds like a ragdoll. "Wha-what...?" he wheezed, fighting to not let his eyes close.

"Exactly what you just heard," Lavi grinned mischievously and began softly stroking Allen's inner thigh. "Who's better? Me or Yuu-chan here?"

Somehow, through his daze, the white-haired male managed to twist his (red, red) lips into a challenging (if slightly wavering) smirk. "Guess." He said, breathless.

That made Lavi pout. "What? But I dun wanna guess! You're so meeeaaan."

"I'm the one chained down and being thoroughly molested. I think I have a right to be mean." Allen shrugged, even though the movement wasn't quite accomplished due to the position his chained arms were in.

"I don't know why you're complainin', sprout. Two gorgeous guys with their hands all over you, and you're protesting?"

"So modest of you, Lavi."

"Shut it, you two." Kanda growled around Allen's erection, making the teen groan. Releasing it, he got up and stood behind the white-haired teen, taking out his fingers in the process. "We'll know who's better than who soon, so shut the fuck up and do your part rabbit." He snapped at his kneeling rival.

"Already doin' it, Yuu-chan." An especially loud moan accompanied that statement, as Lavi's fingers found once more Allen's sweet spot.

Nipping at one of Allen's hickeys on the crook of his neck, Kanda undressed himself and took out his oozing shaft. He slickened it as best as he could without coming, took a firm hold of the slim hips before him and aligned himself with the teen's fingered entrance. He growled when the working fingers didn't step aside. "Back off his ass, idiot. That part's mine to fuck."

The fingers stayed, instead spreading themselves to—daaamn, what a nice view— open the way so Kanda could have enough room to enter without difficulty. Lavi sent him a serious look from where he kneeled. "One thing: stay still once you're in, or Moyashi-chan's gonna go flat with pain."

"I'm n-noooohh-not a—!"

"Shut up. I know what I'm doing." Kanda thrust inside with a grunt without further ado.

Allen was so focused on the warm and hard body behind him, the hot breath on his neck, the big hands on his hips and the hardness inside – ooooooh, he moaned just at thinking about it – and his eyes had fallen shut long ago – that he didn't even notice the second body wrapped around his until he heard Lavi's husky low voice – so sexy, it made Allen gasp – speaking directly into his ear. "Ne, ne, Allee~en, that's not enough for you, right?" he said as he snaked a hand down the whitehead's stomach and-

Allen moaned Lavi's name loudly, almost screaming it, while inwardly fighting for control or he'd lose Crown Clown's activation and that could not be. But goddamn-

Lavi was chuckling. "Wow, Allen, that was a pretty good reaction there, buuut... Clownie's still here~" in the middle of this, and Lavi was acting all cheery and carefree. Allen would have snapped at the redhead had he not been fighting the gigantic waves of pleasure rushing through his body. "So you'll need more than that, right? Fortunately I read about something really interesting once, and that was—"

"The fuck, rabbit?" a rather strained-sounding Kanda demanded rather gruffly over Allen's shoulder. "First you're all 'go in but don't move' and now you're talking about strange shit you wanna try? What the hell are you trying to pull?"

"If he's going to do what I think he's going to do, so help me, I swear I'll cut him open and feed on his innards when this is over." Replied Allen, breathless but still lucid enough to see where this was going. Despite himself, he blushed at the idea.

Lavi ignored the threat, preferring to focus on Kanda. "You wanna see?" the redhead grinned mischievously, and leaned over Allen's shoulder to plant a quick peck on the Japanese male's lips. "Just stay still a little bit longer. Now, here we go~"

"Lavi, I'm going to ki-!" the chained Exorcist began saying. And then-

Lavi thrust in hard, prompting a surprised hiss from the swordsman.

Allen shrieked.

That day, the morning had been so lovely that the Smiths had decided they would go take a stroll in the nearby woods and have a picnic. Their two children and visiting cousin would have fun. And it would be nice and proper fun, adequate for a family of their standing.

Unfortunately, some other families seemed to have had the same idea, so they were not alone on the sun soaked hill they'd decided to stop at to eat. Mrs. Smith had insisted they look for a less crowded place – certainly it wouldn't do for the Smith family to eat in such a location! Some of those families might be peasants! Lowly, poor peasants! – but Mr. Smith had quite a few decades to his name and not quite enough patience when hungry, and he'd decided they were going to eat on that hill right then. Mrs. Smith had instantly admitted defeat and so they had unpacked their things and settled down.

A few minutes later had found Mr. Smith asking his wife if she could pass him a chicken sandwich. "But of course!" Mrs. Smith had replied, handing him the carefully wrapped (by their cook) sandwich. Little Hannah Smith had started crying because her cousin Raphael had pinched her arm painfully. Mrs. Smith reproached the little boy while petting precious Hannah's curly golden hair.

Suddenly a terrifying scream pierced the atmosphere, frightening the birds in the trees nearby into flight. The half-eaten chicken sandwich dropped from Mr. Smith's hand, and everyone on the hill stood very still, frozen with shock.

"-DAAAAAAH!"

Everyone having a picnic paled dramatically, fear taking a hold of their hearts with a vice-like grip. They all scrambled up and started quickly gathering their things while those who had just been walking by vanished as fast as they could without resorting to undignified running. Another scream came up, and those that lacked behind dropped their packages and ran like Death itself was at their heels.

Barely five minutes later, the once very crowded surroundings of that hill were deserted.

Next to the opening through which the three Exorcists had fallen, the sleeping Finder's eyes snapped open and he scrambled away from the hole, frightened beyond repair. That scream! That-that scream!

Half coherent, he forgot he was still scrambling backwards and hit his head on a nearby boulder, knocking himself out.

"Oh god, oh god, La-AAH!"

"Y-Yuu-chan... try changing a bit— the angle— like—"

Allen screamed Kanda's name.

"Yeah, like that, Yuu... Now let's try to hit it both at once..."

Bak Chan, Leader of the East Branch of the Dark Order, extraordinary scientist, man of many qualities, complete with dashing good looks, wanted to die.

He had never felt so embarrassed, mortified, scared and disgusted in his entire life. Nor had he ever felt all those emotions at the same time and with equal intensity.

And the hives all over his face weren't helping.

Surely those three wouldn't do something weird, in the middle of a mission, all alone in an underground city, he had thought.

Suuuure.

Now look at that.

He's bloody listening to them having sex on the golem.

Along with the entire Communications Department. And Komui Lee. And whoever else is in his office.

And, most important of all, Lenalee Lee.

Lenalee is witness to the most embarrassing moment of Bak's life. For the three Exorcists are temporarily under Bak's orders, and their communication device has been transmitting directly to Bak's Branch, and Bak was the one talking to Komui when it began, and Bak is the one who can do nothing to stop it and hang up or something because their communication lines are screwed up.

(At this point, Bak is too mortified to take note of Lenalee's occasional comment – all of those comments had been clearly appreciative and not at all disgusted, only slightly embarrassed. Though those subtleties in her voice had been difficult to detect after the first comment, since a horrified Komui had started screeching like a banshee…)

In other words, from Lenalee's point of view, Bak is certainly the one who started all this. And she was grateful for it.

Bak didn't know if he should commit suicide or pick up a bat and destroy the phone and the golem and then go for the centre of communications where registers of all golem/phone conversations are stored and destroy them too.

This is all Komui's fault.

All Komui's fault. He certainly had known something like this would happen. He'd even been willing to sacrifice precious Lenalee's pure ears to ensure Bak's demise! Oh, such cruelty!

(In Bak's defense, we authors must say he didn't know that at some point Lenalee had taken the phone hostage so Komui wouldn't hang up and she could listen to the whole thing. General Tiedoll had only been too eager to help her protect the phone – something about "how delightful it is to witness my Yuu-kun growing up! He's finally a man!" After which the general had proceeded to happily sob all over his adopted son's newly discovered sexuality.

Reever had just sighed and left the office, dragging a verybewildered Krory behind him.)

Lost in his dark thoughts of destroying the evil, evil Komui while trying to ignore the loud moans from one phone and Komui's shrieks of "LENALEEE, YOUR VIRGINI—!" from the other, Bak almost fell off his chair when Allen's scream pierced his eardrums.

In the background, Lou Fa crash-landed into a coma.

At HQ, Komui Lee was about to have a conniption.

How- how was this possible? And why? "Why, Lenalee? Why, why why whyyyyy?" he sobbed, clutching his poor sister's leg.

"Brother, be quiet! I can't understand what they're saying!"

"B-BUT LENA-"

"Komui, I think indeed you should quiet down, this is Yuu-kun's first—"

"BUT SHE'S- AND THEY'RE- AND I CAN'T-"

"SHHH!"

A bloodcurling scream erupted from the speakers all around Komui's office, and the nightmarish sound echoed all around HQ, leaving behind only an ominous silence.

Blood drained from faces, hairs raised, and Finders and scientists alike shot up from their seats in fright.

There was a good, long pause, during which the nervousness and the fear could be tasted in the air. Everyone could feel their hearts beating loudly and very quickly in their chests, their blood pounding like drums in their ears. And then it happened again.

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH-" came the next scream, even more terrifying than the first.

And everything went to Hell.

"THE NOAHS ARE COMING! OH MY GOD IT'S THE NOAAAAHS!" someone yelled in panic.

"Everyone! Listen! There is no Noah here, it was just-!" Komui said, trying to calm down everyone in the hall, while all around him people kept running around, gathering papers and weapons and plans in a frenzy, searching for hiding places and Exorcists and hiding their works in progress and overall preparing for what they imagined to be an enemy attack.

"SUPERVISOR!" Reever yelled, while being dragged away by a group of frantic scientists that were trying to get through the narrow door all at the same time. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"B-b-but-!" Komui flailed in distress, and ended up face first on the floor when a Finder ran into him.

"FIX IT!" were Reever's last words as he disappeared with an angry fist through the door, carried on the shoulders of the panicked mob.

"B-b-but!" Komui tried to say while being stepped on by a group of scientists. "No one is listening to me, Reever!"

But Reever was nowhere to be seen by then. So Komui really had no choice but to try.

"Everyone! Dark Order people! There is no Noah here! I am telling you- Hey! Listen-" a frail man tripped on Komui while he was trying to get up and the Supervisor ended up on the floor again. "Everyone- The Noah-!" a scientist blundered into Komui with a trolley carrying files, sending him crashing into the panicked crowd.

He reappeared again once they'd left, lying on the floor with his white uniform dirty and torn, aching all over and feeling like one giant bruise. Gasping and wheezing, Komui tried one last time. "PLEASE EVERYONE! Calm down! There isn't- THERE ISN'T-!" a frantic Jerry and his kitchen assistants ran over Komui, silencing him with their trampling feet

Battered and bloody, not knowing what else to do since no one was listening to him, Komui gave up and did the only sensible thing he could do at such a time.

"LENALEEEEEE!" he sobbed.

"AH-AAH! Nngh-OOH-AH! KANDA! LAVI!"

Allen, drunk with ecstasy, trashed in his bindings as the two men ravished him with an intensity that made his control quiver. They hit home at the same time, speed and strength, making him arch an cry for all he was worth. Kanda, eyes squeezed shut and teeth gritted in concentration (fuck he was so tight— He felt so fucking good—) and sweating quite a bit, spread the thigh he was holding farther apart to thrust in deeper, taking devilish pleasure in torturing the Moyashi's cock with his other hand. Lavi, equally drenched in his own sweat and still keeping his cock-ring around the shaft in his right hand, panted hard as he too spread the other thigh farther apart, thrust up into that delicious heat, tore pleasured screams from the chained whitehead –oh gods he wanted to hear more of them, more, more, MORE!— and felt himself slowly approach his release.

But despite the little quiverings here and there, Allen was still in his Innocence attire. Goddamit, they had to make the sprout loose control very soon or they'd both loose the bet and their male pride.

So, after crossing eyes for a second, the two semes changed tactics once again. They both let their respective thigh fall and their free hands quickly sneaked up to pinch and stroke and rub Allen's nipples. Kanda's other hand tightened to a near painful grip and he begin fisting his rival's cock with all the speed and strength he could muster without loosing the rhythm of his own thrusts. Lavi, for his part, took off his cock-ring and went down to stroke the white-head's balls thoroughly, using the tips he read from books to please the smaller male.

Allen screamed something that sounded like—Lavanda? What the hell did that mean?—and clenched around them, prompting mutual groans from the two other males. In a last effort to make him loose it, Kanda and Lavi both went for the two hickeys on each side of the crook of his neck and bit down while they pinched his nipples hard, also teaming together to make one last powerful thrust that hit the prostate dead on.

Kanda, who couldn't hold it in anymore, came in tune with Lavi, both muffling their shouts in Allen's neck as they empited themselves inside the boy. Barely a millisecond later, said white-head came too, howling his orgasm at the top of his lungs and staining his and Lavi's chests with all the precum and semen his balls could produce.

In his release, Allen writhed in his binds and his claw sliced the chain in two, uncovering the piece of Innocence stuck in it at the same time. It fell on Allen's head and knocked him out, though Lavi and Kanda didn't see it because their eyes were closed tightly as they rode their orgasms.

And Crown Clown finally deactivated.

"I can't believe he passed out," Lavi said, with smug amusement, trembling somewhat from exhaustion.

"I wasn't expecting much better after what we did to him." Kanda sniffed disdainfully, but the pleased smirk on his face said otherwise even though his muscles were sore.

"...Yet he only deactivated Crown Clown now..." Lavi frowned, obviously troubled. He reached for the chains and gently unbinded Allen. "Does that mean he won the bet? That is, if when he wakes up he still remembers when exactly he did let go of the activation..."

"He can't dispute what we say if he doesn't remember," Kanda wisely replied, picking up the Innocence that was lying in the middle of the rubble and putting it in the pocket of his pants. "We're done here. Let's go back."

Lavi couldn't stop the grin from appearing on his face at those words. Typical of Yuu-chan – all business now that they'd accomplished the mission, however unorthodox the method had been. 'Still, a little help would be nice', the redhead thought as he freed the unconscious Allen from the chains and lowered him to the dusty floor.

"Yuu, at least help me dress him, will ya?"

"Fuck no."

"You didn't have any problems undressing him."

"Wanna die?"

After finding their way out of the underground city thanks to Ozuchi Kozuchi, they had to wait for Allen to wake up so they could board the Ark and go back to the East Branch to report to Bak-san (for some reason, the Finder was out cold, so the gate was left open for him to get through since Kanda threatened to kill the man should he be asked to carry what he thinks is a burden). Lavi had to carry the very sore and dazed Allen on his back all he way to the Asian HQ.

When they got to Bak's office, the usually energetic man was slumped in his seat, his head on the desk in front of him and he didn't face them once during the time they were there, giving him their report.

At some point, Fou entered his office saying something about how the Sound Department was shining clean and there wasn't any blood left on the floor, but then she looked at the Exorcist trio and burst out laughing so hysterically that she ended up rolling on the floor, clutching her stomach and cursing them for making her laugh so much.

Again for some mysterious reason, this seemed to make Bak even more uncomfortable. He only mumbled something under his breath in response to Allen's soft enquiry on whether he was feeling unwell.

Fou was still laughing when they left to go back to HQ.

When they arrived, the halls of the Order were deserted. There were scattered paper sheets and lost items here and there, and overall it looked like something big had happened while they were gone. If not for the occasional Finder or scientist they glimpsed as they walked towards Komui's office, they'd think the building was empty.

Since Allen was still somewhat in a daze, they decided to split up, and Kanda went to the Supervisor's office alone to give their report.

Lavi rearranged Allen on his back and ignored the strange look a Finder sent their way.

Komui was calm.

Komui was determined.

Komui was silent.

Komui was going to piss in his pants.

How was he supposed to tell three of the strongest – apart from the Generals – and even, dare he say it, scariest three Exorcists in the Order that he, and a whole damn lot of other people, had been listening to them have sex? How? Reever had very helpfully told him, "Just tell them".

Well.

It was not like he had much of a choice, was it?

So when Kanda Yuu, customary pissed off look in his face, marched into his office like the hand of Fate falling down on Komui, he'd just breathed in and told him.

"You. Did. What." Kanda said very, very slowly, like it would make Komui realize he should carefully rephrase what he'd just said to a mere "We did nothing!" for the sake of his neck.

Komui, while not wishing to have his poor head cut off, was also not one to lie –and it would have been of no use considering Kanda and the other two would have to face the consequences sooner or later since almost everyone knew by now. So he cowered before Kanda's furious gaze, trying to make himself smaller in his seat and half-hide behind his desk, and remained silent.

The silence went on for quite a while – and Kanda's burning gaze never wavered, daring Komui to say something.

Lavi popped his head into the office and paused. What the hell? 'What a tense silence...' he thought.

He coughed once to catch their attention. Neither of the two men moved. "I hate to disrupt this lovely awkward atmosphere, but is there a reason everyone is staring weirdly at me and Allen?"

"Please don't make me say it again." Komui whimpered.

Allen chose that moment to come in, much more lively than when he'd arrived, even if he still looked incredibly tired and limped a little. There was a strange aura about him, though. Lavi stepped aside to let him through, and then came in after him, closing the door behind them.

"Komui," Allen said calmly. "You are going to explain to me why I found Lenalee having a mental breakdown-" he'd found her drawing furiously on multiple sheets of paper and babbling something along the lines of 'why didn't they tell me before oh god so hot so hot so hot so hot so hot' very fast. "-and why she jumped me when she saw me, babbling something about golems, malfunctioning earpieces and being gay for Lavi and Kanda."

And lo and behold, the almighty glare of Dark Allen made its presence known.

Komui was doomed, and he knew it.

"...Well, at least now everyone will leave the janitor closets empty for you?" he offered.

The trio exchanged meaningful looks.

Komui whimpered.

The phone rang right then and Komui picked it up immediately, grateful for the distraction. "Science Department Supervisor Komui Lee here! What is it?"

"Sir, one of our new recruits said he'd heard rumors from a village's townspeople about a screaming ghost living near its hills and strongly believes it's related to Innocence after crossing a terrified Finder that was screaming something about a howling spirit through the Ark..."

"... Where is this happening?"

"In Britain, sir."

Komui had to resist the urge to bash his head against the desk.

A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this story despite its long updates, and thanks to everyone that reviewed it! It gave me strength and kept me going until the very end!

(Also hopes the update will boost up the morale of yullen and lavanda fans in quo of chapter 199...)

AF