When something is over, when it is truly over, what do you do? Do you walk away and move on? Or do you hold on in a vein attempt to salvage the good that you remember. I am a creature of comfort so I like to stick with what I know best, even if it hurts me, even if I'd do better to just let it go. I've been hurt enough times to know that pain is unavoidable and to know that the pain that hurts less is the one you know best. So when I find myself in this familiar territory once again having to decide between fight or flight, stay or go, this time I think I'll stay. Maybe I'm choosing to stay because I feel I'm the cause of it, or maybe I'm just tired, but my mind is numb and she's crying like one of her toddler patients wrapped up in my arms. Her eyes look up to mine for confirmation but I think she knows there's nothing to find there. I'm more of a hollow shell of a person than I ever was before, and she's added to that. A hand reaches up clinging to my tear soaked shirt searching for a connection, searching for the piece of me that she lost not too long ago. There's nothing there. How do I tell her there's nothing there? I move just slightly to keep my legs from going numb in our awkward position as we sit kneeled over on the floor, but she mistakes this for an attempt to leave her there.

"Callie don't go, you said you wouldn't go" she pleads softly as I rub her back reassuringly

"I just needed to move my legs, I think we've been like this for an hour or so" I inform her.

"Calliope, that's the first thing you've said to me all day. Did you know that? It's 3pm and the best part of my day has been you telling me you needed to move your legs"

Her voice is soft and she moves my hand toward her hair indicating she would like to be stroked. I do it out of habit, not because I understand, not because I forgive, but just because I don't know how not to. I can hear her heart beating against my lap it's slow and rhythmic like a lullaby. I think back to five hours ago when the phone rang and jolted me out of a late sleep. What did her heart sound like then? Was it slow and rhythmic like now? Had it been the normal lub-dub of a person void of any expectations? Was it a hurried, frantic and chaotic pace? If only I hadn't answered the phone maybe we wouldn't be here. I know how that sounds but for now oblivion seems to be the most comforting of prospects in hindsight.

She was there for me every time I needed her Arizona had been there for me. I think in the haze of everything that happened with George, with Izzy, with my family, Arizona stood by me. She took whatever I gave her even when it hurt, even when she didn't disserve it. So maybe I disserve this, it's possible I guess if you believe in karma. She was holding on to me as if her life depended on it. All I could think about was the fact that I had to be at work soon. I didn't feel like processing anything, I don't want to think about it anymore I tell myself as I begin shutting down.

"It's finished now, you know that right?" she tells me begging for a response

"Calliope I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen. Would you please… would you just please talk to me…or look at me please?" She was begging in between sobs still pleading for my forgiveness.

"I've got work Arizona. We can't sit here like this all day"

"I'll go with you then. I'm not leaving your side until you talk to me"

For the first time in over an hour she lifted her head from my lap. Looking up at me with those sad sea colored eyes to lay a kiss on my cheek. How had I allowed this disaster to repeat itself? Someone was always cheating George was cheating, I was cheating, Mark was cheating, now Arizona. Someone was always leaving too, but not this time. This time I was going to stay; this time I was going to forgive. The only problem is I didn't know how or where to start.

That day work was torture. Just like she promised Arizona was there at every turn waiting to talk, pretending to make herself busy, and just generally being in my face. Granted this time around was more subtle than her usually abrasive head-on approach to most problems. She only offered a few questioning glances as she looked up from a chart, or offering me the last vanilla pudding if I sat with her at the cafeteria. I know I was making it look easy but it wasn't, I'm a sucker for those puppy eyes and I love vanilla pudding. But I was managing it somehow. I was determined to get a little peace and quiet just so I could think clearly. This was the second time in a short period that I had been cheated on and I just needed to clear my head. I saw Arizona stalk away with her pudding moving to sit with the chief and Derek; clearly a move of desperation since she can't stand being around the chief.

"What's up with you and that peds chick? Ya know not that I care, just if you're gonna get all moody I wanna prep myself." Cristina announces as she simultaneously plopped down beside me.

"Oh nothing out of the ordinary in fact it's par for the course in my case"

"No, no! Callie tell me you didn't sleep with Mark again."

"What? No ew! It was her, it was Arizona" I correct both amused and insulted at my roomies assumption.

"Arizona slept with Slone? Wait, how? I thought she dug holes, not poles."

"Ok first I can't believe you just said that, and second not Slone ok it was some other woman. Some slutty sounding woman with a bedtime-y voice named Bette."

"I had an art history professor named Bette" Meredith chimed in as she walked up behind Cristina

"Was her voice a sultry and alluring?" Cristina inquired

"What like that lady in the Cadillac commercial? Yeah I guess so. "

"I love that commercial." I blurt out momentarily being distracted from the problem at hand by the thought of a sexy red head asking me if my car returns the favor.

"Yeah so does Derek, wait why are we talking about this?"

"Arizona cheated"

"With a bedtime-y woman "

"Yep a bed timey woman named Bette who just might be your old art history professor."

"There was nothing old about my art history professor."

At this point the conversation continues without me. They both agree that bedtime-y women are the worst, that I should stop dating people in the hospital, and that men are much easier to handle. They then walk off in unison to find out who's scrubbing in with Bailey.