Title: Everything Changes
Summary: The future is what we make it. Many years after Ianto Jones died because of the 456 Captain Jack still has not forgotten. He knows that what has been done can be undone. And he is determined to save Ianto. No matter the cost.
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: See my author profile. That's where my TW and DW disclaimer is located.
Notes: Everything official and canon (TV and audio episodes, novels, audio books, magazine fiction, supplementary books) in TW and Doctor Who is fair game. See if you can spot what stories I'm referring to!! Oh, and yes, that title is indeed the title of Torchwood episode 1 however; I think it fits my story here as well. Also, this story was rather difficult for me to write as I kept making myself cry (hard to see the keyboard when tears are in my eyes!!). Hopefully, it's not just arrogance or the fact that I am a naturally emotional person and that some of you will also feel what Jack, Ianto, Alice, Gwen and the others are feeling. POVs change at random, so if you get confused, just email me and I'll try to clear it up. If something doesn't flow, I want to fix that so others can understand.
Love it or hate it, drop me a line either at my email twiantojones yahoo . com (no spaces) or click the review button. I appreciate all critiques and opinions, but flames will be used to heat up a pot of Greek coffee. Cheers!!
Now, on with the story. This is my own personal way of healing from the travesty that was "Children of Earth." It should have been called "TW: Mother of Many Plot holes".
~_~_~_~
PART ONE
The future is what we make it. Every glimpse into it can change it. Captain Jack Harkness has been suffering since he lost Ianto Jones, yet he remembered his promise. Many years after Ianto died The Face of Boe, the future of Captain Jack, still has not forgotten him. He would not forget the one person who had somehow managed to take over his heart so completely. He knows that what has been done can be undone. It will take great determination and strength of will. And he is determined to save Ianto no matter the cost. He knows that by changing the past (and inevitably the future) there will be a heavy price to pay. However, after so many years, he is more than willing to pay it.
Billions of years had passed since Ianto Jones died due to invading aliens and their poisoned air. All of the memories that he had of Ianto had stayed near the surface of his mind. The Face of Boe remembered everything. The smell of coffee, naked hide-and-seek, Cyber-Lisa, stopwatches… the list was endless. He could not remember how he had gone from a handsome human with perfect teeth to a large head in a jar but he could remember Ianto. No matter what else he had done in his long life, The Face of Boe always remembered Ianto Jones.
"Don't forget me…. In a thousand years' time, you won't remember me."
Ah, but I have remembered you for far longer, longer than a thousand times a thousand years, dearest to my heart. You were the one person who knew exactly what horrors I was capable of and yet refused to be afraid. You loved me because of my faults. How could I forget you?
Even that dreadful day, forever burned into his very soul, had a bit of joy crammed in amongst the bad things. While he himself had been jittery and a nervous wreck the entire time they were facing the 456, Ianto had been the picture of calm. Even as he said that it was too late he had maintained his composure. He had outshone the captain with his cool demeanour. In fact, he had tried to sooth his Captain's guilt away. It had taken the words "I love you" coming from his own lips to finally cause him to break. The thought of his having been just a blip in time for Jack had come to the forefront of his fears. He did not want to be forgotten so badly, could not bare the thought of it, that he had succumbed to his weakness.
And now, The Face of Boe was ready to go back. He could not stop Ianto dying; however, he could stop Ianto from staying dead.
The Doctor, one of his oldest friends, was struggling to save New Earth. He knew that he would succeed; he was, after all, the Doctor. The Face of Boe also knew that the time had come for him to leave this existence. It was time for him to be with Ianto again. Even if Ianto hated him for what he was about to do, just to be able to see him smile one more time would be enough.
Bad Wolf, I have come back to you. It is time that you keep your promise.
Bad Wolf. Rose Tyler. Time Vortex. For a few moments, so long ago, all three had been one being. They had realized even as they made Jack into a Fixed Point in Time and Space that it was unbelievably cruel. There had been enough of Rose in control that when she had seen what she would cause him to experience because of his Immortality she had corrected her mistake.
"I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be."
All that ever could be. All that ever could be, it could be changed. Jack, like Rose and the Doctor, had been out of his own time. That was the main reason that being with Ianto again was possible. If Jack had never gone back in time then Ianto would have lived a very different life.
He could feel the warmth from Time itself slowly penetrating him. After so many lifetimes of struggling and waiting he had finally arrived at a point in Time and Space where the impossible had become possible. Time was ready to send him back, to send him to be with the only one he had ever truly loved.
Can you forgive me?
I forgave you before I even knew.
I am sorry that you had to wait so long, my friend.
I know. It's all right. I can be with him again, forever. It is worth the pain.
It's time for you to go. The consequences will be great. You will remember it all, for all of Time.
He could feel a presence in front of him. This Doctor had yet to experience The Year That Never Was. He did not know about the Master. It was actually his own fault that the Master had been able to take over. Changing Time came with severe consequences. He felt a pang of regret, quickly squashed, at the thought of changing Time. Saving Ianto was more important to him. He was going to be selfish. For far too long now he had been selfless, determined to change enough to be worthy of changing Time. But out of respect for his friend he spoke.
"Know this Time Lord." They had been friends, he would warn him, to help him prepare for what was to come. "You are not alone." It was a double warning. First, he was letting him know that there was another Time Lord still alive. Second, he was telling him that he, as Jack, would be there to see him through the pain. He would be at his doctor's side for a little bit longer.
Having said this last to his old friend, The Face of Boe closed his sad eyes and waited for the warmth to finish. He could hear a voice -- an oh, so achingly familiar voice -- whisper in fear in the darkness.
Darkness. So much darkness. Jack, I'm so scared. Where are you Jack? I don't want to be alone. Why am I alone?
He opened his eyes and looked around. It was completely dark. Except for one thing. A figure crouched in a tight ball, fear trembling through its body. The Face of Boe knew it was HE.
"Ianto… Ianto, you won't be alone anymore. I'm coming back!"
Jack? Jack, where are you? I'm scared! I can't see you! It's so dark!
"You will, soon, I promise."
You haven't forgotten me?
"Never could."
Jack… I can't see you. I want to see you!
"Just be patient."
I want to see you!
"It's just a little longer."
Promise?
"I promise."
The darkness slowly receded. Light was coming. The figure of Ianto Jones began to fade away.
"Just a little longer, Ianto. Hang on just a little longer." And please don't hate me for what I've done…
Never could.
The face of Boe-- no, Jack Harkness smiled for the first time in so very long. Just a little longer… And then nothing, not Death or Time or Space, would separate them ever again.
Everything went white.
Jack closed his eyes. He waited.
Jack opened his eyes.
It was time.
~_~_~
Five years had passed since Ianto Jones died. Torchwood Cardiff had been rebuilt and restaffed. Gwen Cooper-Williams was now in charge of protecting the Earth from aliens. She had handpicked and trained several people to work for her.
Lois Habiba had been an obvious choice after the way she had helped them combat the 456 and the government. Now she worked in the archives. Gwen's old partner in the police, Andy Davidson had become a valuable asset both in information and on the field. Martha Jones had left UNIT the moment she learned what had happened and was now the Torchwood medic. Martha, who said that he had worked briefly for UNIT and had traveled with the Doctor, had brought on Mickey Smith who had become their resident techie. Samantha Johnson had proven herself to be an ally; Gwen had realized that Johnson had been trained to follow orders and deeply regretted the role she had been forced to play. Now the young woman worked hard to help catch aliens and their technology. Alice Carter, although still upset and sad, had come to realize that her father had not had much choice when he had sacrificed her son. She had taken on the role that Gwen used to have; she dealt with the families and loved ones of victims and helped keep them all grounded. She also helped Lois with the archives and did the general paper work.
Gwen looked out at her team. Rhys, her husband and her rock, continued to support her in her work. He had proven himself both as a family man and a field agent. He was also all heart. In fact, it was because of him that Alice had been able to forgive her father and move on, to heal. Rhys had told her that her little boy was a hero. Steven had trusted Jack despite his fear and his mother's pleas. A little boy had saved the world. Torchwood Cardiff would never forget that sacrifice. Gwen and Rhys had even named their daughter Stephanie in honor of the little hero. And that was why Alice was here. She wanted to fight for the world in his memory.
Gwen's gaze moved towards the far wall. The entire wall was covered with pictures of the Torchwood Team. The pictures covered all of Gwen's time, from past to present. She had never been more grateful than now that Ianto and Tosh had been fastidious in backing up files. Not only had the Torchwood software still been on the server but also so had all of their personal files, including case reports, personal logs and pictures taken with their digital cameras. At some point either Tosh or Ianto had uploaded literally thousands of pictures to the server. Some of the pictures were alien related but the bulk of the pictures were of the team having fun, going to pubs and simply enjoying each other's company. Gwen and Lois had worked together to select pictures for the wall before the Hub had even been rebuilt. She smiled as she looked at the wall from her office window. One picture stood out to her, even from across the room.
Jack was at the center with Gwen and Ianto on either side of him. Jack's arms were wrapped around them both, though much more tightly around Ianto. Tosh and Owen were sitting on the couch in front of them. All of them were smiling, silly expressions on their faces. It had been taken two days before Owen had become a walking corpse. She smiled as she remembered Jack bugging them for a group picture.
Jack. Her thoughts were often filled with him. He had helped her change for the better. She missed him. A bittersweet smile crossed her face as she thought of his leaving. He had run away, to try to escape the pain he had been feeling. She had hoped that he would come back. She knew that if he had, she would have been able to help him heal. Once she had thought she was in love with him. Looking back, she had grown to realize that it was merely the image of the dashing hero she had loved. He was her best friend. He had been there for her through so much. But she knew that she had made the right choice in marrying Rhys. Rhys loved her more than anyone else, with the exception of little Stephanie, of course.
"Gwen!"
Startled by Lois' cry, Gwen raced from her office and into the hub proper. Lois was standing in front of the picture wall pointing at the floor. A man lay on the floor. A naked man.
A very familiar naked man.
"Ianto?"
~_~_~
"So you have no idea what happened… after you died?" Martha asked.
They were all in the boardroom. Ianto was now dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater that were a little big on him. He looked exhausted and a little bit sad.
"All I can remember is being in the dark. I wanted to see Jack but knew that I wouldn't. Then I heard his voice."
"You heard Jack's voice," Gwen said. Not a whole lot surprised her anymore. "What did he say?"
Ianto shook his head. "He told me to be patient. That I would see him again. And then I found myself out there, naked. Not really too unusual, not when Jack is concerned." His tone was flat, monotonous with no hint of amusement. He turned his blue eyes away; the pain and sorrow in them plain to see.
There was silence as they contemplated what might have happened. The silence lasted until Martha's PDA beeped a few moments later.
"I have the results of the tests I ran." She skimmed over the information and frowned. "This doesn't make sense. It's as if your body has reset itself, as if you never died. And there's no sign of any damage done to you, no tissue damage at all. Not even from any wounds before the 456 invasion. You haven't made friends with a Mayfly have you?"
"So… I'm all right then?" Ianto asked in a hesitant tone.
"Yes, you are. You're in fact very all right. Not a single scratch anywhere. It's as if you've been given a brand new body that looks exactly like the old one."
Gwen opened her mouth to say something when she closed it again as she looked at the young man's face. Ianto's nostrils flared. His entire body went rigid. His head snapped to the side as he darted his eyes about.
"Jack…?" he whispered in a disbelieving tone.
"Ianto?"
A hand flew to Gwen's mouth when she heard the voice. After all this time was Captain Jack Harkness really back?
"Jack!"
Ianto got to his feet and rushed from the room. It was real, it had to be real. The darkness was gone, Ianto was alive and he was back. Jack had to be back. Otherwise his own being alive was just a cruel joke.
"IANTO!"
Jack's desperate voice drew him directly to the hub proper. Ianto stopped at the top of the stairs and gripped the railing tightly. He looked down at the man who he loved more than anything. Jack looked the same as he had on that final day, when they had gone to the Thames House. Gods how Ianto had missed that coat.
"Jack."
Jack looked up and stared at Ianto. Time seemed to stop, but Jack knew that it was just rearranging itself, putting the final pieces into place. The price he would pay would be great but he was not going to take anything for granted this time. Ianto was alive. Alive. Dammit, alive.
The two lovers stared at each other for a moment before Jack couldn't hold himself back any more. He ran up the stairs towards the one person that he could never forget. He slammed into the solid body and pinned him against the wall. His lips covered Ianto's. His tongue hungrily explored the warm, wet mouth it had memorized so long ago. His hands gripped the smaller form to him; no doubt bruises had all ready formed.
But neither of them cared. They were together again. Consequences be damned.
"Ianto," Jack breathed as he pulled back, still holding on tight. "I told you that you would never be a blip in time for me."
"How did you… Jack, what did you do? What happened to your face?" his lover asked worriedly.
Ianto's fingers touched the long jagged scar that ran down the left side of Jack's otherwise perfect face. He didn't know that there were more scars that marred the toned body. Jack's torso was a battlefield hidden by clothes. It was one of the consequences of changing Time.
"Time can't heal all wounds, but it can change them," Jack said. He pulled Ianto flush against him, their bodies pressed so close they could feel each other's hearts beating. "I can't take back you dying, but I was able to bring you back."
"But how?"
"Time. Time owed me a huge favor." Jack touched his lips to Ianto's forehead. It was an intimate gesture that he had done so many times in the past. It was even more intimate than kissing those soft lips. "I'll tell you everything, but later. Right now, I just want to hold you."
"Then tell me one thing, at least."
"Anything."
"Why?"
Jack cocked his head to the side. "Why? Because of those three words that I couldn't say before you died. Because I was afraid of how I felt. Because I knew I was losing you, you, the most important thing in my life. Because every single second of every single day for far longer than a thousand years I have thought of nothing except my getting back to you, if not in life then at least in death. Because I love you. Because I love you, Ianto Jones. That's why."
Ianto closed his eyes, willing the tears back. He then opened his eyes and smiled. "I ask for a thousand years' remembrance and I get this? I should have asked for more."
"I would have given it, too," Jack said with his own smile. He pressed his forehead against his lover's.
"Jack."
Jack finally turned his attention away from his reason for being to look at Gwen.
"Jack!" Gwen rushed to the both of them, hugging them tight. "I thought I'd never see you again! I got Torchwood back up and running and tried to remember only the good things. I made what you said after Owen and Tosh, 'The end is where we start from' our motto. See, it's on that banner on the wall. And then Ianto shows up and now you! Oh! I've missed you both…" She had to stop because the tears that had been present since first seeing Ianto had begun to fall. She had missed them both so much. Losing Owen and Tosh had been hard enough to deal with but when she had lost the others it was as if her world had ended.
"I can't promise that we won't leave again, Gwen," Jack said as he held her close. "But I can promise that we will always come back." They had time enough to spare, after all.
~_~_~
Alice watched as her father sat with his lover. She could not help but feel broken inside. Her son was still dead while Jack Harkness got a happy ending. It was not only unfair, it was cruel.
"Are you all right?" Lois asked as she joined her, coffee cup in hand, worry in her voice. The two women had become close quickly as they had watched the world coming to an end with front row seats five years ago.
"Should I be?"
The dark skinned woman contemplated her coffee for a moment before she answered. "I heard them talking. Apparently when he brought Ianto back, Captain Harkness was punished severely for it. He said that he was taking the burden of changing Time on himself in order to purge the universe of his transgression. Whatever that means."
"It means that once again my father was thinking only of himself. What about my son? What about Steven? Why didn't he save him too? He was just a little boy. He didn't know the risks. But he-" she gestured towards the couple on the couch, towards Ianto. "He knew. He understood that he could be killed. He chose to follow that path." She didn't hate Ianto. She just couldn't accept that her own son had to stay dead so that this man could live.
"I know that you're upset. We all are. But we don't know the whole story. Maybe there's more. Maybe Steven just hasn't come back yet." Lois tried to convey hope to her friend.
Oh how she wished that were true! But Alice knew that if her son had been saved then he would have come in with Jack.
No, her little boy, her baby would not be back. Not ever.
~_~_~
PART TWO
Jack's lips ghosted softly over the sensitive skin just below Ianto's ear. For so many years he had dreamed of the day when he would be able to do this again. He was all ready carefully planning their first night together. It was not going to be a quick fumble in the archives or a rough-n-rowdy in the car. No, Captain Jack Harkness had an eternity to explore and worship his lover's body and he was going to take full advantage of that.
He smiled as he felt his lover shiver at the intimate touch. So many years, so many places he had seen and yet this was all that had mattered to him.
"I've seen things I never thought I'd see. Loved people I never would have known if I had just stayed where I was. And I wouldn't change that for the world."
No, he wouldn't change ever meeting Ianto. This incredible person was the reason that Jack Harkness had been made immortal. It was not so that he would live to see the Doctor again. He was made immortal so that he could live long enough to be with Ianto. And to be able to survive so that he could save him.
"Jack, we're not exactly alone." Ianto smiled as he pulled back in order to soften the blow.
"We could be. I still have all my property available. We could go somewhere private."
"How? You've been gone for years."
"I bought a few pieces of property decades ago and arranged for them to not be sold, torn up or remodeled unless there's no word from me in ten years. I checked on my way over here and everything is still there where it should be." Jack smiled a sheepish smile. "I wanted to be able to take you somewhere nice, with a comfortable bed, as soon as possible."
Ianto raised an amused eyebrow. "What makes you think I'd be up for some dabbling?" he teased.
Jack scoffed. "Mr. Jones, I fully intend on getting you in my bed and keeping you there for a long time. And that's that."
"Well," Ianto sighed dramatically. "I suppose as I have no choice, I'll have to go along with you and your sinful plans."
"Trust me, you won't be disappointed."
"My thirty minutes-- finally. Bloody beans."
Jack chuckled as he remembered that day. Rhys and his beans.
"Ianto, thirty minutes? Sorry Tiger Pants, but my intention is to thoroughly and completely wear you out for the next, oh I dunno, week or so?"
"Oh really? What about my intentions?"
"You can watch James Bondathon later."
"I was thinking more along the lines of my tying you to the bed and having my wicked way with you."
"Now that sounds like a sinful plan!"
They both laughed.
Gwen shook her head from where she was standing and smiled. Somethings never changed.
"Oi, Chuckle Brothers!"
The two men looked up and smiled at her. She smiled back and made her way over to the couch. She sat down next to Ianto and leaned back making herself comfortable.
"I know that you're both eager to get on with your 'sinful plans' but we do need to talk soon about your place here."
"Place? What ever are you talking about?" Jack asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"Here at Torchwood." Gwen smiled lightly. "I've been in charge since you left so I don't think it's fair that I completely relinquish control but I think that you and I can easily share the responsibility. It'll give me more time with Rhys and Stephanie too. And Ianto, Lois is good with the archives but she's more of a computer person and not a paper person. I know she would be thrilled to have you help. And-"
"Whoa, whoa Gwen," Jack interrupted. "I only just got Ianto back. Even though he isn't going to die anytime soon-" He ignored the confused look his lover gave him. He would have to explain it soon. But he would wait until they were truly alone. "I am not going to just throw him back into dangerous situations. The earth and its people have a lot of atoning to do."
This was not what she had expected. In her mind, Jack belonged at Torchwood. But then she remembered two things. He had been completely broken after defeating the 456 and he was not from earth. He was from the Boeshane Peninsula in the 51st century. The only ties he had to this planet were right here, on the couch with him. Why should he care about what happened to the people of this planet? They were not his responsibility.
"Jack." Ianto's voice was soft as he spoke. "I understand how you feel. I do. But you need to remember, if it weren't for this planet you and I would never have met. Maybe there are many here who don't deserve our help, but there are so many more who do."
Gwen spoke up again. "After you left Rhys and I petitioned to get the information out about what really happened. It took a few months but now Torchwood is truly outside the government. We've even begun to work with Torchwood Two. Together we've been able to make it harder for the government to go behind our backs. Everyone who was involved was replaced. We retconned them so far back they couldn't even remember their own names and put them in prison for crimes against humanity. Now the government has no choice but to submit to us when it comes to alien threats, or else they are immediately tried for treason and are retconned. We showed the world the video of what happened. Torchwood is more public than ever, but we also get more respect. People are more willing to work with us because of what we did to save their children." She took a deep breath. "But it's still hard Jack. Please, come back to us."
Jack stood, pulling away from Ianto, and moved away. He could see those two horrible days. Ianto in his arms, dying. Steven on the platform, dying. It would never have come to that if the government had not attacked Torchwood. The look on Ianto's face as he had forced him onto the lift, to safety on that first dreadful day that the Hub was destroyed. That look was forever burned into his mind, along with all things Ianto.
"There'll be nothing left of you!"
"I can survive anything!"
Except losing Ianto. As the bomb had torn him apart he had prayed that Ianto would just stay hidden, stay safe. If he hadn't been so loyal, so in love with Jack he would have been. He had hoped that his desperate kiss in the hub would convey that to his lover. But instead Ianto had been so worried, so determined to find and help his lover. He had risked so much, even his sister's family, to save Jack.
He sighed deeply. "Damn you for having such a hold on me, Ianto Jones."
A pair of arms slid around his waist. Ianto rested his chin on Jack's shoulder.
"And you me. For now, Jack, let's stay and help. We don't have to do a lot. And I promise that I won't go out of my way to endanger myself, even if I will survive." He nuzzled Jack's neck. "But this planet is my home, I want to help protect it. After all, the 21st century is when everything changed. We weren't ready, but we can be ready when more change comes."
Jack turned to face his lover. "All right. But like I implied before, we won't always be here. You and I have forever to explore the universe. There will be times that we will leave. There are so many things I want to show you, so many worlds."
"And we will see them," Ianto promised. "We can go right now so long as we return moments after leaving."
"I can arrange that." Jack raised his arm. "My Vortex Manipulator was reconfigured by Time. It's linked to a ship that only I know the location of. We could leave now, spend fifty years exploring the galaxy and return two minutes from now."
Ianto smiled an indulgent smile and rested his head against his lover's back. "Before we do any of that, I think we should at least take a look around. This new Hub is incredible, from what I've seen. And there's the matter of our families."
"You mean your family," Jack stated in a flat tone. "My only family is you and Gwen."
"What about your daughter?"
"Ianto, I tried to talk to her after the funeral services were finished. She didn't want to even acknowledge my presence. She doesn't consider me her family anymore."
It had hurt, being ignored by Alice, but he had understood. Perhaps if he had been able to bring Steven back as well, she would be able to forgive him now. But Time would only allow him to save one person. He had chosen Ianto because the young man was so deeply ingrained in his heart that the mere thought of eternity without him was enough to destroy Jack. Maybe he was too selfish; maybe he should have tried to move on. When he had approached one thousand years from the day his own personal world had ended, Captain Jack Harkness had come undone. Every memory, good and bad, that involved Ianto had torn through his mind and ripped apart his soul like it was made of sand. Even the mere thought of a cup of coffee had made him crumple onto the floor and cry himself to death (because in death there was the darkness. In the darkness was Ianto. He had caught glimpses of his lover in the dark, sobbing for him. Why should he want to live when Ianto was alone in the dark?).
He pushed those painful thoughts aside and looked at his lover and their friend. These two people were all that he had anymore. He would do whatever it took to keep them close.
"Jack," Gwen said gently. "Alice has forgiven you for what you did. She hasn't forgotten, she never will, but she has forgiven you."
"That was before I brought Ianto back. Seeing him alive makes what I had to do to my grandson even more difficult for her to understand." He turned to face her fully. "If I had killed Rhys, or your unborn baby and then brought Ianto back in place of either of them, would you be so quick to forgive?"
Gwen struggled to keep a pleasant expression on her face but she could feel the anger slowly seep to the surface. "No," she whispered after a long moment. "I couldn't."
"So why should Alice forgive me now?" Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I don't expect forgiveness from anyone. Hell, I didn't even expect Ianto to accept me back and want to be with me. But I had to do it. I couldn't continue on through eternity knowing that because of my stupidity he died."
"Jack, I would go through anything to be with you." Ianto reached up and caressed the jagged scar. "It felt like I was in the darkness forever. What made it bearable was that every time you died I could feel you there next to me. I couldn't see you, couldn't hear you but I knew you were there. Owen, Tosh and Lisa," his voice dropped to a whisper. "They kept telling me to join them. It was really them too, not those alien things from when we went to Geneva. They felt warm. They said that I needed to move on, that it was time for me to go into the light, that there was indeed something beyond the darkness if you were ready. But I wasn't ready. I could never have been ready. You saw the darkness so many times. I knew that I would be able to be with you even if only for a moment at a time. How could I go into the light and leave you to be alone in the dark? I would have spent forever there for you."
Ianto closed his eyes as Jack pressed his own face into the crook of his neck. Ianto had felt him in the darkness. Jack recalled how every single time he died after Ianto's death he had felt warm, not cold as he usually did. Instead of the painful gasps and cries he used to make upon resurrection he had simply breathed in deeply, a tiny murmured gasp. A soft sound that told of pain and loneliness. Now he knew that it was because even in death Ianto was looking after him, giving him comfort and love.
Yes, it had definitely been worth it.
~_~_~
Gwen showed them around the Torchwood Headquarters. Gwen had designed the base herself and had made it a more personable place to be. Given that they all spent many long hours, sometimes days at a time here it helped to make everyone more relaxed and at ease.
The Hub proper was much more spacious and was filled with workstations for each member of the team. Gwen's office was located in the same spot that the original boardroom (which had become the hothouse) had been. The medical bay was located where the second boardroom had been and was much larger. The morgue and stasis chambers were directly below it, which made it easier to store bodies. The archives were located in the same place, just off from the Hub proper, but at that time only one room was filled with artefacts and files. After the explosion Lois and Alice had left all of the files on the server and only new and recent cases were in paper form. The cells covered five floors and housed several aliens, including a family of Weevils. The former Torchwood Weevil, Janet had not survived the bomb. In fact, both Janet and Myfanway the pterodan had died.
There was a hothouse as well as an aquarium with earth fish. There was a library in place of the old morgue with comfortable couches, a T.V., bookcases full of books, a coffee station and a kitchen area. The old cells had mostly survived (just those inhabiting them had died) and had been turned, at Rhys's suggestion, into sleeping quarters and bathing facilities. After all, he had reasoned, there may very well (and have been) times when someone would have to stay the night and would want to be comfortable and be able to shower in the morning.
Gwen was rather proud of her base and her team. After those terrible events five years ago, followed by Jack's leaving, she had managed to rebuild and give new life to those most affected by the 456 invasion. Her team worked diligently to prepare for more alien incursions. They also had lives outside of Torchwood. She remembered Jack telling her in the early days to not "let it drift" and she would not allow her team to live solely for their work. She encouraged them all to have a social life. To help ensure that they did, she and Lois had set up a rota of off time for everyone. Every ten days at least one of them would have two days off in a row. She was also insistent on vacations for everyone. Each team member received two weeks paid vacation a year and she would fight to keep their plans set in stone, aliens or not.
Torchwood Cardiff consisted of Gwen (leader), Rhys (morale officer and field agent), Lois Habiba (archivist and field agent), Samantha Johnson (field agent, security and medic, when needed), Martha Jones (head medic, medical archivist and field agent), Andy Davidson (field agent), Alice Carter (archivist, admin and field agent) and Mickey Smith (technological genius, security and field agent). It was the largest number of people hired at Torchwood Cardiff in decades. But there was a good reason for the increase of staff.
Gwen remembered how painful it had been to say goodbye to Owen and Tosh. If there had been more than the five of them perhaps they would have been able to stop Gray and not lose anyone. Also, Gwen was a mother now. Little Stephanie Cooper-Williams was her own personal piece of joy in a world that had been filled with so much sorrow. She could not take the risks that she had once done. She never allowed Rhys to accompany her on missions, not anymore. They had chosen to name everyone on their team godparents to the little girl, in the event that they should both die. Martha and her husband Tom, still in London, also had a child. Tom was in a much safer line of work than his wife, but he was also very active in his support of her work. Their child lived in London and Martha commuted back and forth every week so she could be with them. No, Gwen was not going to take the high risks that Torchwood had taken when Jack Harkness had been in charge, there was far too much at stake.
Torchwood Two, UNIT (which knew it had a lot to atone for and was still begging forgiveness), and Sarah Jane Smith (former companion to the Doctor) all assisted Torchwood Cardiff as much as possible. UNIT had a permanent base less than two miles from the Hub and Mickey had set up a special system to allow more direct contact and information sharing with them and Torchwood Two. Sarah Jane had also expanded her own little group, although she relied on negotiation and not firepower to deal with alien threats, and helped by exchanging information and technology with Torchwood Three on a weekly basis.
Other government-sponsored agencies, such as the police, MI-5, MI-6 and other special ops, were at the beck-and-call of Torchwood Three. Both Gwen and Andy liasoned with the police regularly yet they did not take advantage of or abuse their authority. Instead they worked side by side the police to help prepare the people of earth for the next time (and Gwen knew it was coming) aliens tried to invade. She had not lied when she told Jack that they were more publicly known. The royal family had been instrumental in helping to get the word out. Gwen had never been more grateful that she was employed by the crown. It had made the transition easier to deal with as well as had speeded up the rebuilding of the Torchwood Hub.
Yes, Gwen was proud of the work she had done since the 456 invasion. She was very proud.
~_~_~
"So, what do you think?"
Jack and Ianto sat opposite her in her office, sipping from coffee mugs. Jack had his free hand resting on Ianto's thigh, squeezing gently.
Ianto was the first to speak. He set down his mug and smiled his soft smile at her. "It's like a whole new place. It reminds me of Torchwood London except that it's actually a happy place to work." His smile widened. "And I can't believe that my coffee machine survived!"
Gwen giggled and set down her own mug. "Rhys banged most of the dents out and sanded it down but no one can work it like you. I couldn't just get rid of it though, there's so much history there." She swept her bangs back (she needed to get them trimmed, but she'd been so busy as of late) and smiled at them. The way that Jack was looking at Ianto and the way that Ianto was smiling made her happy. But then she remembered something, something that made her smile fade just a bit.
"Ianto, can I ask you something, something personal?"
"Of course you can," he replied. He remembered when Gwen had joined Torchwood. He had quickly realized how attracted Jack and she were to each other and had been surprised at his own jealousy. At that time he still had Lisa, yet he had not enjoyed the playful flirtation that had gone on between the other two. When he and Jack and begun their rather twisted relationship he had been aware that he was not the only one that occupied his lover's thoughts. Even after Gwen had married Rhys he had been worried that Jack and she would run off together. Even as he had died he had been afraid that Jack would seek comfort in her arms. Yet he had never blamed Gwen, had never hated her. After Jack had run off with the Doctor he had confronted her and told her that when (not if, never if) Jack returned he would back away and let them be happy together. He was still amazed that it hadn't happened.
He smiled at her, forcing those distant thoughts back as he focused on her voice. "Ask me anything, so long as it's not the secret to great coffee. That, my dear friend, is an art."
The sound of her and Jack's laughter took him back to the days when it had been just the three of them. They had forced themselves to keep going, to keep each other going. There had been many tears but there had also been laughter. They had owed it to their lost comrades to smile even when things got tough.
"Drat, and I was so hoping you'd spill your secrets!" Gwen said with a smile. "No, actually, it's about something your sister told me, the day after you… well, when I went to see her. She said that your father wasn't a master tailor and that he had worked in Debenhams instead…" She let her voice trail off as she looked at his face.
The smile was still there; it was just a little more sad. "No, he wasn't a tailor, master or otherwise." Ianto picked up his coffee and took a sip. "I wasn't the most honest person growing up. I told lots of little lies to make myself feel better and look better. My father and I never really got along very well so I made up an image of what I wanted him to be. My grandfather had been a tailor but my father just worked in Debenhams all his adult life. The house my sister's family lived at a few years ago is only a few streets over from where we grew up."
He set his coffee back down and put his hand on Jack's, twining their fingers together. He owed it to them to tell the truth. "My parents were complete opposites, like fire and water. Just like Rhiannon and myself. She took after my father while I after Mum. My mother fell ill when I was in middle school and was sent to Providence Park." From the look on Jack's face he knew that his partner was remembering him referencing it during the whole Night Travelers incident.
"I blamed my father while Rhiannon stood by him. I think where she was older and had been the one to help take care of Mum made it harder on her to see us fight. I started acting out, getting into trouble at school, letting my grades slide and then I started shoplifting. I got caught eventually and tried to act like it didn't matter. Got me in trouble with the judge, a mark on my record and my father and I fought even more. My mother died while in care and less than a year later, right after I graduated from high school, my father had a heart attack and died." He took a deep breath before continuing.
"I took off right after the funeral service and went to London. It was a few years before I was recruited at the Torchwood Institute but I distanced myself from my sister during that time. I kept telling people that my father had been a tailor and my mother had died due to a stroke. I didn't want anyone to know the truth. I was afraid that if they knew just how ordinary my father had been and how messed up my mother was that they wouldn't want me around. I never even told Lisa. Rhiannon did that, almost caused her to break up with me."
Ianto closed his eyes, only opening them when he felt Jack squeeze his hand. "I'm sorry that I lied. It was just once I started telling people about my parents I couldn't stop, not without making people mad at me. I reasoned that lying about occupations and causes of death were nothing compared to the lies I had to tell because of Torchwood or Lisa. I am sorry though that you had to find out in that manner. After everything that we three had been through together, I should have trusted you both enough to come clean."
Gwen was silent as she contemplated her friend. She wasn't angry at the lies Ianto had told. If she were honest with herself, and she did try to be, she was more angry at herself for only looking at the surface of each of the people she had worked with back then. She had never really taken the time to get to know her teammates on a personal level. If she had, she would have known about Owen's feelings towards love, about Tosh's feelings for Owen, at the reasons behind Jack's attempts to distance himself and why Ianto was the way that he was.
"When did you last ask me anything about my life?"
It was true, not only for Jack but for herself. She had not bothered to get to know any of them and yet had still been shocked at how little she knew. But that was neither here or there. The past was the past. She couldn't go back and change things (she would leave that up to Jack) but she could keep from doing it again.
"I'm sorry if bringing it up hurt you, Ianto, but I do want to know the real you." Gwen smiled at him to show she wasn't the slightest bit angry with him. "I don't want us to be strangers anymore. I want us to be the friends we should have been a long time ago. Secrets are inevitable, but I think we should try to really get to know one another."
"In that case," Jack spoke for the first time since the tour had ended. "I think I should tell you both about how I was able to bring Ianto back."
~_~_~
PART THREE
Jack looked at Ianto and Gwen. He had wanted to only tell Ianto but after listening to both of them pour at their hearts in earnest he felt that they both deserved to know the truth.
"After I left earth, I found my Doctor again. I was angry with him for not being there to help and for refusing to go back and change things. He told me that I should consider coming back here, that Ianto would have wanted me to do that. I did consider it, I even went so far as to come and visit Ianto's grave. But I couldn't stay here. Like I said before Gwen, this place was like a graveyard. So I left again. I went home. I returned to the 51st century. I went to the Boeshane Peninsula, the colony world where I had grown up. I arrived too soon and watched as I let go of Gray's hand. I thought of actually saving him and stopping all of this from happening. But I wasn't willing to risk never having left and coming to earth. I wasn't willing to risk losing all of you, not even just in memory. I would have always felt incomplete."
He lifted Ianto's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the palm.
"Since all I could do was watch I left my home world until enough time had passed that I could safely go back without meeting my former self. My mother was still alive, but she was lonely. I tried to tell her that Gray had survived and that she shouldn't worry, but it was hard without telling her what had really happened. I even told her about Torchwood and Ianto. She was glad that I had found someone but sad that I had lost you. I left again and traveled for years, centuries without staying anywhere for long. I promised you a thousand years, remember?" Jack smile sadly as he remembered that promise.
"Maybe that's why it was so hard. I never promised anyone anything like that. A few days before the one thousand years were up, I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my first in all that time, and thought of you. I was going to let your memory go. But that first sip, the only sip, made me remember the morning after meeting you. You offered me the first of so many coffees that day. I threw my cup aside and cried. I kept crying and banging my head against the floor where I had fallen. I couldn't stop. I tried to get you out of my head but you wouldn't leave. I actually caused enough damage that I died."
Ianto's choked sob drew Jack away from the memory. He moved to kneel before his lover and cradled the tear stained face in his hands. He had never blamed Ianto. The young man had only wanted to matter to his lover. He hadn't expected Jack to actually keep his promise. He certainly hadn't expected Jack to completely break down because of it.
Brushing away tears, Jack continued. "I remember going into the darkness and seeing you there, looking as you had on the day that you died, curled up and crying. I knew that a thousand years was nothing. So I vowed to always remember and to find my way back to you. I didn't care if that meant dying and staying dead or if I actually found a way to bring you back and keep you with me forever. I searched the universe for answers and solutions. I eventually became a shell of a man. I don't quite remember how, but after thousands of centuries I mutated and became a disembodied head. I think it had something to do with the Boeshane Peninsula, because I took my childhood nickname The Face of Boe and there were others like me. They didn't live more than a thousand years each, but I kept on living. I think I even had offspring, but I can't remember."
Ianto slid off his chair to wrap his arms around his lover. To offer him comfort.
"I kept on going, not forming close ties to anyone or anywhere. I even met the Doctor a few times. He didn't know that we had all ready met and I didn't tell him. Eventually my efforts were not in vain. Time and Space are living, sentient things. I caught the attention of Time and it gave me a choice. I could simply cease to exist and go forever into the darkness with you or I could save one person, change Time and live until this universe dies. Time showed me what would happen if I chose to go back and save you. Millions of worlds that should flourish will die and millions of worlds that died will live. Whole civilizations will not be born and the thing that I had become would exist only in myth. The Doctor will still remember, because it's in his people's nature, as will those who had traveled to those distant futures with him and me."
"So, you changed the course of earth's and the universe's future?" Gwen asked.
"It had happened all ready before. When Torchwood One initiated those Ghost Shifts a few years back, which led to the Institute's destruction and Ianto coming here, it changed things. Also, a few months prior to that the Doctor, Rose Tyler and Mickey ended up in the same dimension that the Cybermen of that time came from. Mickey ended up staying there, which changed the future of both dimensions. When the Doctor was at Canary Wharf, Rose and her mother were trapped in the other dimension and again it changed the future of both dimensions. Time is always being changed. But to do what I did is nearly always forbidden and is always filled with consequences."
"The scar on your face," Ianto whispered. He hated to think of what else his lover was forced to endure.
"Yeah. Plus a whole lot more on my body. Also, I will always remember what I had become. I will remember all of the pain and sorrow that I have felt and will feel."
Both Gwen and Ianto started at him.
"What do you mean," Gwen asked. Hadn't they all suffered enough? Too many people had been through too much. It wasn't fair that Jack was always going to be in pain.
"I said before that Ianto wouldn't die. Time has given him the same inability to stay dead that I've been cursed with. However, what makes it so different is that our pains have been linked. Every time either of us dies the other will feel it as if it is happening to both of us."
"But I've always felt that way, from the moment that Owen shot you," Ianto said. He tightened his grip on Jack's shoulders. No, he would not feel anger at what the dead medic had done so long ago. It had been the start of so many good things, so many good memories.
"I know," Jack replied. "But this is different. You won't just feel my pain; you'll actually experience it first hand. If I break my neck, yours' will break too. I you die of suffocation, then I won't be able to breathe either."
"But Jack! Why would you willingly punish yourself like that?"
Gwen got up and came around her desk to join them. She knelt and reached out a hand to touch Ianto's arm. She knew why, she understood completely because it was how she felt about Rhys and Stephanie. And so she told him so.
"It's also what you would have done for Lisa, before you fell in love with Jack."
They all fell silent as they thought of that. Yes, they would all go to great lengths to be with their loved ones.
Ianto frowned as he thought about Lisa. He still loved her, he always would. Her death had shaken him so badly that he had thought he would break. Yet his love for her had not been strong enough for him to go into the light. Instead he had remained in the darkness waiting for each time that Jack would join him, even though it would only be for a few minutes.
"Jack, I shouldn't be able to remember so much from the darkness. So why do I?" Owen had only remembered snatches, as had Suzie. Yet Ianto remembered it all.
"I think it's because you were as desperate to get to me as I was to get to you," Jack said slowly. "I could see you every time I died, but I couldn't touch you. I spoke to you, trying to get you to hear me."
"The only time I heard you was when you were coming back. But I could feel you right there next to me every time you died."
Gwen smiled as she listened to them. If she and Jack had gotten together, she did not for a second believe that they would have ever been so close. Ianto and Jack had connected from the instant that they met.
"Ok, so now that you've both poured out your hearts, I think it's my turn."
Both men stood and helped her to her feet. They each reclaimed their seats and their coffee. There was a companionable silence for a few minutes before Ianto spoke.
"What sort of confession could you possibly have to make? I can't think of anything that you could have done, unless you count your moving on and keeping Torchwood alive, but even that doesn't count because we both know that we were important to you."
"That's true," Jack said. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
Gwen let out a laugh. "Oh no?" She drained her coffee to the last drop and set her mug down on her desk. "For starters, how many times did I break the rules and get away with it? How many times did I insist that none of you remembered what it meant to be human when you all did?"
"That doesn't matter," Jack tried to interupt.
"It does. It matters because a large portion of what happened five years ago was my fault. I was so quick to judge you for your actions Jack that I couldn't see the big picture. Even Rhys could see it. Yes, it was terrible that you sacrificed twelve innocent children but you did it both with good intentions and because you were forced to. Yes, you were," she said with an angry look in her eyes. "I found all of the files both at Torchwood and others places and you were forced to do it. But you had also changed a lot since 1965, I should have realized that and taken it into account before judging you."
She didn't bother telling them that she had learned a great deal about Jack's time at Torchwood, including how he had gone from being a freelancer to running the place.
"I never took the time to really get to know any of you, especially the two of you. The two who I would end up spending the most time with I knew nothing about. Ianto, your sister and I talk on the phone weekly. She had all ready told me the truth. I stay as involved in Mica and David's lives as possible, I've even seen to it that their university will be paid for by Torchwood. Jack, I've grown close to Alice, not as close as Rhys or Lois but we can confide in each other. She misses her son, she always will, but she misses you too. Try to just be there for her."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I also have to apologize to you both for what I did to you before."
She fixed them with an intense look before continuing.
"I was never in love with you Jack. Yes, there was an intense attraction, even lust. But I never loved you. I saw you as this dashing super hero who would always save the day. Every time you did something 'human' my image of you faded a little bit more. And we all saw how upset you were when you learned the truth about Lisa. You acted more like a broken-hearted lover than a betrayed boss. I think that's why it was easy for us act the way we did. You felt betrayed in your heart and out of fear of getting even more hurt, you pulled away."
"You're right," Jack said with a heavy sigh. "I felt that Ianto was mine when I hired him, that it would take a while but eventually I would have all of him. I had even forgotten about finding the Doctor. And then after Lisa, I felt that my caring had been a mistake so I backed off. I didn't expect you to make the first move, though Ianto," he grinned.
"I still have that stop watch," Ianto said with a deadpan expression.
Gwen giggled and continued. "When you came back from the Doctor you told Ianto you came back for him yet later told me in private that it was for me. I knew even then that you had declared your innermost feelings in front of the others. You just hadn't realized how much you loved Ianto yet. That's why I said the things I did when I told you I was getting married. It's also why I used your torn feelings to my advantage. I flirted just enough to get my way, to keep Rhys safe and un-retconned. I took advantage of Ianto's feelings for you so I could keep you two just far enough apart that you could indulge in each other but still keep your attention. It wasn't until Ianto cut in on our dance at my wedding that I truly saw how hurt he was."
"I never blamed you," Ianto murmured.
"I know Sweetheart, and that's why I'm as guilty as anyone for what happened. You couldn't look at me as you cut in, you got as close as you could to him as you danced, trying to stake a claim on him and ease Rhys' worries. I tried to back off myself, but I always felt a little selfish. Do you remember when we had that case where one of Jack's old house's was killing people?"
"Yes, one of my more embarrassing memories," Ianto said with a wince.
"I tried to tell you that Jack didn't do relationships and you said that you knew it would always be casual to him."
"I remember." He didn't want to, but he did.
"You were never anything casual, Ianto," Jack told him, taking hold of his hand.
"No you weren't," Gwen said. "Even then I was jealous and protective and stupid. I wanted that closeness, I wanted to keep you both from getting hurt and I didn't want to see what was in front of me."
Jack raised a hand to stop her. "But how is any of this guilt for what happened five years ago? And Owen and Tosh, I'm assuming."
Gwen smiled sadly at him. "Because if I hadn't been so selfish and arrogant and stupid I would have been more focused. I would have known you all better. I may have been able to see things before I did, been able to keep things from spiraling out of control. But I was more concerned with being the heart of Torchwood that I didn't take the time to be the whole of it. Perhaps if I had taken the time Owen and Tosh would still be hear, or at least would have realized how they felt about each other sooner. And maybe the 456 would never have been able to get here again. The Hub might have been spared and that day, the day Ianto died, might never have happened. The Face of Boe might never have been born. And so for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
They all three sat in silence thinking back to the entire conversation. Gwen was right, they all realized. They had not truly known one another. It was too late to get closer to Owen and Tosh, but they could get closer to each other.
"I think," Jack said eventually. "That what I said after Owen and Tosh died is more true now than ever. The end truly is where we start from."
"One chapter of our lives is over, done. It's time for a new chapter to begin," Ianto said. He reached out both his hands. Jack and Gwen each took one and then took each other's hands.
Gwen smiled at her two friends. "The end is where we start from. The 21st century changed us all. More changes are on the way, good and bad. Torchwood is ready."
Jack squeezed both hands in his grip. "Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper-Williams and Jack Harkness are ready. Together, I know we can do anything."
"I love you." Ianto looked at them, first Jack, then Gwen. "Both of you. I love you more than anything. Together, even when Time and Death take us from here, from you Gwen. We'll be together forever."
"Forever," Gwen whispered, gripping them tightly. "Forever together."
End Book One of Torchwood: After the Fall