Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran. It belongs to Bisco Hatori.
This is a ridiculously fluffy futurefic... and once again it's TamaHaru XD I guess it doesn't really matter whether this is anime-verse or manga-verse.
I invite you to comment with your thoughts and suggestions. However, the one thing I ask is that you don't point out that Haruhi would never be the one who instigated it, or that she never would before finishing college. Okay? Okay. Let's go.
It's a leap of faith,
When you believe there's someone out there,
It's a leap of faith when you believe that someone cares
And when I call out to you,
Will you be right there,
Right there?
It was a long, long jump. Haruhi closed her eyes tightly for a moment, and when she opened them again, the other host club members were still there, as was the large gap before her. She knew they were there to catch here, but the leap was still daunting, and she could feel her legs growing heavy and her body trembling. What if she were to slip?
"Haruhi?"
Suddenly, reality consumed her, and the metaphorical jump she had been expected to perform faded into oblivion at the sight of the limousine's interior around her, of the other former hosts sitting on the white leather seats and staring at her with concern. It was Tamaki who had spoken, and by now he was wringing his hands at her failure to answer.
"Eh?" Haruhi, remembering where she was, snapped out if it and put on a normal expression. For now, the uncertainty of the future could wait. With her first year of college lying ahead of her, she couldn't help but feel that everything as she had always known it was crumbling under her feet, but this was not the time for thinking of such things. Today was the day that Kanako Kasugazaki would become Kanako Suzushima after years of betrothal to Tohru, and she had asked the seven of them to come. It was a touching honor and a special day for Kanako, and Haruhi was not going to let anything spoil it. Not even the fear of that leap into the future…
"You've been staring off into space for the better part of fifteen minutes, Haruhi, and you haven't even had a drop of the champagne!" Tamaki said, distress evident in his smooth features. He had grown even taller and stronger during his first year of university, but when he was worried he looked as though no time had passed.
"I never drink in the car, Tamaki," she reminded him. "I don't want it all over me," with a slight sigh she pushed a lock of hair out of her face. Now that it was shoulder-length, it was too long to be contained behind her ears, and it had a nasty habit of obscuring her vision.
"Oh, but there's so much more to it!" Tamaki said, wringing his hands again and taking hers carefully in them. The warmth of his fingers comforted her briefly, and she was instantly grateful for her relationship with the man, however infuriating he was at times. "What's wrong? For a moment there, you looked so… far away."
"He's right, you know," Mori said from across the seat, and Haruhi raised her eyes to look at him. Tamaki was always going on about something, but when Mori noticed it too, that was when she knew it was obvious.
"If there's something wrong, you can tell us," no matter how many times she heard it, the new deep, manly quality to Hikaru's (or was it Kaoru's? She wasn't looking) voice was surprising. Now that there were three of them on board with the discussion, she knew she had no hope of dismissing the question.
"I guess I'm just a little worried about going to college next month," she admitted. It was pointless trying to get around telling them. It would be strange not having the twins in her classes, strange not living at home, and strange not knowing exactly where she was going every morning. She didn't like to admit it, but Ouran had become such a rooting part of her life that going to another school was an experience akin to getting stepparent.
"We'll still be there for you, Haru-chan," Hunny reminded her. His earnest brown eyes stared at her for a moment, and it was hard to believe that he was nearly six feet tall and getting close to his college graduation. The other five nodded at Hunny's words, and for a moment it was hard for Haruhi not to smile.
"Thanks, guys. I was being silly, I guess," she said, doing her best to reassure them. She still felt that pang of uneasiness in her stomach, but for their sake, she could ignore it. She felt Tamaki squeeze her hands slightly and gave him her attention; she hadn't even been aware that he was still holding them.
"Haruhi, I want you to know that… you can always tell me everything, alright?" his voice was low and intimate, and Haruhi would have kissed him right them if not for the presence of the others. "No matter what it is, I promise I'll listen. I meant it when I said that you'd never have to be alone!"
Haruhi gave him a slight smile and adjusted her dress. "Thank you, Tamaki," she whispered. She realized fully at times like this how little she really deserved someone as wonderful as he was. She was constantly afraid of losing him but lacked the courage to make sure that they would never be separated, and for this she wanted to kick herself. This was what made that leap into the future so daunting; the fear that she would somehow leave him behind. He had been much more fidgety than usual today, more apprehensive, and for a moment she wondered what in the world went on behind those eyes. Before she could ask, he just grinned and pointed out the scenery.
The wedding took place on the grounds of the Suzushima estate, and in the early spring air, the roses were blooming with reckless abandon. Rows of elegant white benches were set up in the grass, matching the white of the altar and the roses in the bouquets on the tables further back. As the seven of them found their places and more guests arrived, Haruhi tried to keep her mind on the decorations and the festive feeling in the air. She felt, for lack of a better sentiment, as though she had somehow lost her anchor, whatever it may have been. With this new, sudden future looming before her, she felt tethered to nothing. It was a helpless feeling that she was quite unfamiliar with.
"Thank you for coming," Tohru Suzushima told them with a nervous smile. He looked dashing in his dark suit, and his face was slightly flushed with anticipation.
"A lovely day for a wedding," Kyouya said in reply, and the two began to exchange small talk as the remainder of the guests arrived. For reasons she could not explain, Haruhi felt as nervous as Tohru looked. As he took his place at the pulpit and the wedding procession began, she was conscious of her hands sweating. Kanako looked like a princess in her glittering white dress, and she gave Haruhi and excited, slightly nervous smile as she passed. Haruhi returned it, and as she watched the two lovers being joined, she could not stop the feeling of happiness she felt for her two friends, who she knew had wanted to be together since they were small. The vows were ones that Kanako and Tohru had written themselves, and they were beautiful in all their simplicity.
"Your love will be my anchor," Tohru recited, blushing slightly and smiling at his bride. "So I'll always have something to hold onto."
"Your love will be my candle," Kanako giggled slightly at his bashfulness. "So I'll always have light no matter how intense the darkness."
As Haruhi watched the intimacy between the two and the rapt way they stared into each other's eyes as though they were the only two in the world, she realized that this truly was permanence. What she herself was missing was not an anchor, but the ability to trust unfailingly and hold onto that anchor. Tamaki was her anchor, and her fear to step forward into the future was meshed with her fear of letting herself lose him.
The ceremony gradually drew to a close with Kanako and Tohru bound happily into matrimony, and after hugging them both and muttering a quick 'congratulations', Haruhi wandered away from the crowd. The grounds were oddly reminiscent of those at Ouran, she mused as she wandered farther from the party, finding her way into a small, white archway and leaned heavily against its wooden frame. The sounds of conversation and laughter filtered in from the distance and she closed her eyes, trying to ignore that sharp pang of uncertainty that reared its ugly head once more.
"Haruhi!"
She opened her eyes to see Tamaki approaching her, his white coattails flapping in the wind. He loved wearing white suits, and his today contrasted drastically with the explosive red dress he had talked her into wearing.
"Oh… Tamaki," unsure of exactly what to say at this moment, she settled for merely uttering his name as he reached her.
"Why are you running off?" he asked her, laughing slightly. His cheeks were pink from the sun. "You're going to miss the reception. They have fatty tuna." Haruhi's stomach growled as he spoke these words. "Want to head back?"
"You go ahead. I'll… be there in a minute," Haruhi squeezed her eyes shut and was aware of him coming closer, slipping an arm around her waist. She opened them to see him leaning against the arbor beside her, head tilted back and eyes closed peacefully.
"It was a beautiful ceremony," Tamaki said conversationally, eyes still closed. He looked angelic with the sunlight streaming through his hair and setting it alight in a fiery riot of buttery gold. For a moment, Haruhi swore time froze.
"It really was," she agreed. Tamaki giggled, and she stared at him until he explained himself. Sure that he could feel the daggers of her vision prodding him, Haruhi was glad that it took only moments.
"I'm just so happy," he confessed, looking bother very at peace and very handsome and he turned his face toward hers and looked at her gaily for a moment, his face a riot of joy. "To see the two of them finally married like this just makes me feel happier than anything else. It's a real leap of faith, marriage."
"Leap?" Haruhi's heart shuddered.
"Well, of course. There's no telling if it's going to turn out, but you just have to close your eyes and jump right in, because of love."
For a moment, there was silence and stillness. Haruhi swore the birds nearby had stopped chirping, that the party was frozen in motion, and that the earth had ceased to spin. Haruhi stood on her tiptoes in the golden sunlight and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He smiled in reply and closed his eyes for a moment.
"I love you," he said softly, and Haruhi kissed him again, hoping to draw out that phrase again.
"I love you too," Haruhi was aware of her heart skipping beats left and right, and she swore it was a miracle that she didn't go unconscious. Instead, she kissed him a third time, this time more insistent and firm, and concentrated on breathing deeply. "Tamaki… will you take that leap with me?"
"What?" Tamaki's eyes snapped open, and he did nothing but stare in silence. Then the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled, and he brushed the back of his hand gently down the side of her face. "Did you just propose to me, Haruhi?" he looked on the verge of bursting, almost like his old teenage self, the uncontrollable bundle of excitement he had been when she'd first met him.
"Yes," Haruhi replied firmly, unwilling to back down and unwilling to let go of this moment.
"This is a little backward," Tamaki said with a grin, his large hands clasping hers. "Don't you think?"
"Don't be so old-fashioned," she scolded. "I just… I needed to ask, because I've finally figured out what I need. I… need you, Tamaki. I've been acting so strange today because in a way, I was starting to be afraid I would lose you. And I don't ever want that to happen."
"Haruhi," Tamaki was crying slightly, and for a moment she found it surprising before she remembered who exactly this was. Tamaki was inclined to cry at the drop of a hat, but this was different. "You thought you were going to lose me? No," he clasped her against his chest, and as her head filled with his familiar scent she was taken back to a time when it was a blue uniform jacket that she would be pressed against. "No, no, never. You'll never, ever lose me, Haruhi. I promise. I'll always be right here."
Haruhi hadn't realized she was crying as well until he drew back and brushed away a tear. "Tamaki…"
"Is what you asked… what you really want, Haruhi?" pressed this tightly against him, Haruhi could feel his heart beating rather heavily, and she pressed the moment into her mind; a memory.
"Yes," her nod was certain, and she locked her eyes tightly with his. "It's what I want."
"Then yes!" Tamaki's joy erupted, and he went off like a firework, clutching at her and kissing her until she swore the lack of oxygen was going to her head. "Yes, yes, of course I will marry you, Haruhi Fujioka!"
Smiling, Haruhi buried her face in his white jacket and breathed a sigh of relief. And slowly, the world pieced itself together. Haruhi had always been independent and almost bordered on unwilling to allow herself to rely on anyone else. But at this moment, she did need someone else, more deeply than she could have imagined. It was a warm, almost comforting feeling, to love and be loved this way.
It was a long, long jump. Haruhi closed her eyes tightly for a moment, and when she opened them again, the other host club members were still there, as was the large gap before her. She knew they were there to catch here, but the leap was still daunting, and she could feel her legs growing heavy and her body trembling. What if she were to slip? "It's alright Haruhi!" she heard Tamaki say from across that wide, wide gap. She breathed deeply for a moment. Suddenly, though the gap was no smaller and her fear was no less pressing, she closed her eyes and she leaped, keeping her eyes focused on Tamaki's face. And he caught her.
It's a leap of faith,
And I believe that you are out there,
It's a leap of faith and I believe you truly care, oh,
And when I call out to you,
I know you'll be right there,
Right there...
And it's a leap of faith.