A/N: Heeeey guys, Puppy Death Glare is back, with a new penname. XD

Okay, this was inspired by the lovely HeartBreAk Lily, who reviewed on this story's predecessor Laptop:

That's fucking hilarious! It was genius to make a story like this. The magical discovery of fan art...ah, good stuff.
But... you know what would also be funny? If Near was caught playing DnD Poisoned! HAHA. I could imagine it xD

Thank you very much for inspiring me to write one more DN fic again. You can all thank her for it!

This is an alternate version of Laptop. :3

...Oh, and fans of Wammy High... yeeeeaaaaah biiiig hiatus. Dunno when I'll update it though... DON'T KILL ME. I needz inspiration, gaiz!!1!

Don't own Death Note, or DnD Poisoned. They belong to their respective owners.

Mello whistled a jaunty tune while he skipped down the hallway of the orphanage. Once he got to the end, he spun on his heel and veered off into another hallway. The blonde almost bumped into a passing caretaker holding a pile of paperwork in her arms, but expertly evaded in the last second.

"Hmm, hmm, hmm~…" Mello hummed, a small smile gracing his lips. He turned another corner and entered the main common room, where lots of children were chatting and playing. The blonde made his way to a couch and ungracefully flopped himself onto the plushy cushioning, but yelped in pain as his behind came into contact with something hard.

"Ow! What the hell?!" He exclaimed, rubbing his sore butt and glaring at the offending object.

"…Mello…" A quiet voice murmured, interrupting his fuming. "Please watch where you sit – you almost broke my laptop." Near sighed and picked up the portable object. He hugged the device in his small arms protectively. Dark blank eyes stared at the blonde.

Mello frowned at the white-haired boy. "You should really watch where you put things like that," The boy started to unwrap his chocolate out of its foil shell. "Just yesterday, Matt almost got anal probed with one of your Barbies' legs."

It was Near's turn to frown. "I don't own any Barbies," The younger boy pointed out, "Linda and her friends own a few; I saw them playing with some earlier this morning." He briefly glanced at some girls in the corner who were playing with the said dolls.

"Suuuuure…" The blonde smirked and snapped off a chunk of chocolate with his teeth. "It's impossible for you not to have any Barbies in your disposal. You own a whole freaking toy factory in your room."

"I also own a toy oven which makes the best chocolate muffins." Near retorted, smiling mockingly. "L gave it to me as a present. Did you get a present that makes chocolate delicacies, Mello?"

"…No," The older boy scowled, a bit envious.

Just then, Matt brushed past Mello and flopped himself down onto the plushy couch. "Near…" The red-head started, turning on his PSP and popping some gum into his mouth. "Be nice… Not everyone can be as spoilt as you. Heh,"

Near sighed and sat on the floor. He put the laptop onto the ground, flipped it open and started to browse the web.

"By the way, Near, where'd you get that laptop?" Matt questioned. Mello sat down beside his best friend, eating his sweets.

"Hmm…? Oh," The younger boy twirled his white hair and tapped a few keys. "I stole it from one of the caretakers' offices…" Near smiled, but subtly hid the action with his small pale fingers.

"Jesus," Mello replied, raising an eyebrow. "We're rubbing off on you! Never thought you had it in ya…" He paused, and then smirked. "Ooh, Neeeaaar… You're looking up to me, eh?"

…

Mello's eye twitched and he gently jabbed the back of Near's head with two fingers.

"…Huh...? Yeah, sure; whatever…" Near mumbled, too engrossed with the internet to care. He scrolled down the page and blinked. "Matt, can I borrow your credit card?"

"Eh…?" Matt pulled his goggles up onto his head, showing bright jade eyes looking a tad confused. "Why do ya need my card? Go ask Roger or something…"

"I would ask Roger," Near sighed, "But you did steal his card…" He then pointed his index finger at the screen, despite Matt not being able to see the action from where he was sitting. "I want to buy this action figure."

"Pff, I didn't steal it!" Matt scoffed. He then raised an arm dramatically and raised his chin, grinning. "I 'permanently borrowed' it, of course!"

"Kleptomaniacs… Both of you…!" Mello exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

Matt giggled, an amused smirk plastered on his face. He shifted awkwardly, putting his hand down his back pocket and pulling out an old wallet with a picture of a Pokéball on it. "How much is it, anyways?" He asked the younger boy, pulling out Roger's credit card.

"Fifty dollars…"

"For a toy?!" The redhead's eyebrows disappeared into his fringe. He then quickly collected himself, "Oh well; not my money." He started to cackle evilly, ignoring the weird looks he was getting from the other children.

Though he quickly quieted down when Roger glanced at him from the door. The older man cast a suspicious look at him, then shrugged to himself, deciding nothing's wrong, and continued his way down the hall, letting Matt relax and let loose a sigh of relief.

Near sighed heavily, getting a bit impatient. He stood up, leaned over Mello's legs and swiftly snatched the card from Matt's grasp with a quick smile and a: "Thank you~!"

--

"Hmm…!" The blonde-haired boy grinned as he completed his origami crane, made from a chocolate wrapper. "Damn, I am good."

Mello glanced at the redhead next to him, who was deeply focused with his game. He took the chocolate-wrapper crane by the tail and brought it up to Matt's nose. The gamer's eyes quickly became startled and unfocused, making a hasty move to pause his PSP. Matt glared at the offending object, and then shifted his glare at his best friend.

"…Like it?" Mello supplied, smiling impishly and waving the folded paper in front of them.

His only answer was a flick of the middle finger from the redhead.

"Thank you for your opinion," Mello grinned, not wavering in the slightest. He then leaned over the armrest of the couch to show his white-haired rival his creation.

"Hey Near, wanna see this-- Holy mother of fuck…!" Mello gaped, staring at the monitor of the laptop.

"Eh?" Matt leaned over Mello, trying to see what's on the laptop. "Are you guys looking at porn? Dude, lemme se-- WHOA!" The redhead unknowingly copied Mello's actions, gaping like a fish out of water.

Near quickly swiveled his head to face the shocked boys, his curly hair whipping at his forehead. His horrified eyes stared at their faces, and a blush stained his pale cheeks.

"…This isn't what it looks like." He blurted out, his eyes wide and glancing between the two boys and the monitor. 'Oh thank you whoever is up there that everyone else went out of the room ages ago…'

Matt rubbed his eyes and squinted at the screen, "… DnD Poisoned?" He muttered to himself, and then a light bulb flickered above his head. The redhead smirked at Near, who was currently wearing a flustered look. "Ooh, Near…!" He purred, chuckling when the younger boy's blush got deeper. "You have the hots for Mello~"

"…Guh?" Was Mello's intelligent reply. The boy was still staring at the screen, dazed.

"I mean, seriously," Matt continued, smiling impishly. "That must be the only reason why you're playing DnD Poisoned… a MelloxNear visual doujinshi… 'cause you want the real Mello to do all those things to you."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Near pouted, feigning ignorance. But he knew he wouldn't fool them, "I just happened to stumble on it, that's all. I got curious."

"…Curious enough to actually download it and play up until the part where you two have hot guy smex?" Matt grinned, clearly enjoying this.

"M-M-Matt!" Near squeaked, appalled at his use of language. Suddenly Matt stole the laptop and typed a few keys rapidly, "Give that back," Near demanded, quickly recovering.

"…Says here you downloaded this a week ago. Oh, ho, hoh~!" The redhead started to giggle, but was quickly silenced by a swift bonk on the head by Mello.

The blonde sighed and grabbed Near by the wrist. He then started to drag him out of the common room and down the hallway.

Near blinked rapidly, confused by the sudden turn of events. "Mello, wh-where are we going?"

"We're going to have a chat," Mello simply put, "then I'm going to rape you." With that said, he swung Near's petite body over his shoulder, ignoring the smaller boy's protests along the way to his room.

"Quiet; you know you want it."

Near didn't have anything to object to that, and kept quiet until they arrived at Mello's room.

--

Matt let out a hearty chuckle when he heard the two boys' voices dwindling down the hallway. The gamer then stared at the laptop resting on his crossed legs.

"Hmm…" He hummed, a devious plan forming.

--

"Ryuuzaki," Light frowned, blowing a few stray hairs out of his eyes. "Are we done yet?"

"Now now, Light-kun," L droned, sipping his sugary tea. "We have to catch Kira at all costs. There's no time for breaks."

"Some of us do have to sleep, you know…" Light protested weakly, but he knew that the stubborn detective wouldn't give in. The auburn-haired teen sighed and massaged his forehead with one of his hands. He inwardly growled when he heard the chains connecting him to L rattle ominously in the now silent room.

"I'm boooored!" Misa whined from her spot at a couch. Matsuda, who was sitting next to her and reading some files, chuckled quietly.

"Ah, I'm bored too, Misa-Misa…" He smiled at the girl. "But you heard Ryuuzaki; we have to work hard to catch Kira."

The blonde-haired celebrity huffed, but didn't protest.

"Hey, Misa," Light addressed his girlfriend, "I'll promise we'll go on a date after our work is done, but Ryuuzaki is making us work overtime." He then sent a devious smile towards the messy-haired detective. "Why don't you try and convince him until he gives in?"

The subtle glare L gave to the teen could've frozen Hell itself.

"Okay!" The bubbly blonde chirped.

Suddenly one of the monitors in the room beeped and flashed twice. L, silently thanking whoever was up there for the distraction, rolled his chair over to the computer. He tapped a few keys and a print screen of someone's desktop came up…

L blinked incredulously, staring at the image.

Light, having no choice but to follow the detective, slowed his chair to a stop next to L. He also stared at the suggestive image. "Ryuuzaki… did someone just send you porn?" He inquired, staring over the detective's shoulder.

"Oh…!" Misa gasped, glancing at the screen once. She quickly skipped over to the two males and peered over L's other shoulder. "Th-That's DnD Poisoned!" She grinned happily.

"DnD Poisoned?" L repeated, looking quite dazed. 'What the hell is that? And why does it include Near and Mello… Together?!'

"Hey…" Matsuda mused, tapping his finger on his chin. "I've heard of that before. I overheard some teenage girls blabbering about it when I walked past them at the mall yesterday."

"Psh, amateurs…!" Misa scoffed, "DnD Poisoned is a Death Note visual doujinshi made by Akane; freakin' genius! Every DN MxN yaoi fangirl's dream~"

"MxN? Yaoi? What are you talking about?" L blinked, pressing his thumb to his bottom lip.

"Death Note?" Light frowned. 'Weird name…' "Why is an eighteen plus visual doujinshi called 'Death Note'?" He frowned, glancing at the suggestive image still on L's computer monitor.

Misa shrugged, "Only God knows," She paused, then muttered to herself. "Or whoever's reading this fic…"

"What?"

"Nevermind~"

Ignoring the other two, L started to track down whoever sent him this image of his two successors. His whole world froze when he found out whose laptop it was from. The insomniac felt his consciousness wavering at the thought…

…

…It was from Roger.

A/N: Roger's in trouble now. Damn you, Matty. XD

And how does Matt know about DnD Poisoned, anyway? O.o