No Matter Where You Are

Author: joms_hp aka Lady Jam

Genre: angst, drama

Rating: T

Length: oneshot

Word Count: 1814 words

Pairing: Thrill Pair

Warning: Character Death

Disclaimer: I don't own the song Stand by U it is owned by Avextrax and Tohoshinki. Also Prince of Tennis is not mine it is owned by its mangaka Takeshi Konomi and its companies.

Inspired by: MoonExpression's fic 'Last Melody'

Since the day you left without a word of goodbye
I feel that the scenery around me has changed.
The promise I made
that I would become your everything
and the incomplete memories
have also changed.

I sat numbly in front of my computer, my screen saver kicking in flashing a myriad of photos. Photos of our memories together – I and my beloved Ryoma, our smiles forever immortalized on film along with our happiness.

But my thoughts right now as well as my feelings are anything but happy. I can't think clearly for every time I do the only thing that flashes in my thoughts was Ryoma. But along with the name came the overwhelming sense of grief and betrayal all summed up to one text message that says everything and yet nothing at all.

"Goodbye Syuusuke, I am sorry,"

When you were crying by yourself back then,

if only had I run to you

you would still be by my side.

If I was given one more chance,

I would tell you once again

that I love you.

But the words that contain my overflowing feelings

cannot reach you anymore.

As I entered the church I can't help but remember the last time we meet. I found him sitting alone on the street courts his racquet lying beside him numerous tennis balls where strewn across the courts, the rain pouring in torrents, beating against his dejected form.

I would have smiled at the paradox of our encounters ever time it rains. But that day is different the trill in the air is nonexistent only melancholy. He looks up at me his face vulnerable and tormented. I approach him and engulfed his form in my arms.

As if a dam has broken he cried pouring out all his sorrow and anguish and letting the rain wash it away while my warmth replace them if only for a moment.

We went home that night and huddled underneath the blankets basking in our shared passion and thinking of what is to come. When morning came I woke up with the feeling of emptiness. Beside me the sheets are cold where Ryoma once lay.

As I approach the altar and gazed upon your face the words that I long to tell you died long before they reach my lips for I knew they can't reach you anymore.

Where are you now?

Who are you being with?

What kind of clothes are you wearing?

What are doing and laughing at?

I am right here.

Even now, I am right here.

And I still believe that we will see each other again.

You're the only one I'm thinking of.

I now stand again in front of the altar before God but this time it is for a whole different purpose. The doors of the church opened and for a split second I thought I saw him and for that moment I thought my wish came true. But its nothing but wishful thinking for his image was replaced by the image of my future bride, a bride that is nothing more than a cover to satisfy those around me and to show them that I have moved on.

As she walks down the aisle my thought again shifted to Ryoma. Questions such as;

'Where is he now?'

'What is he doing?'

'Is he happy?'

'What would he say once he saw me now?'

'What would it be like if he was here?'

'Would he be happy?'

So many questions so many what ifs but everything would remain unanswered for he was now gone. As my bride approach me the only thing that is in my mind is someday somewhere me and Ryoma will meet again. For he is the only person that can complete me in everyway possible, he is my thrill.

Just once more,

I want you to stand at my back with your tied hair

asking me "Guess who it is~~~"

and expecting me to say out your name.*

Just the two of us being silly like that day by day.

I walk along the shore near the beach house me and Ryoma once lived. I remember that I once asked Ryoma why the ocean is blue in which he answered that it is because it reflects the color of the sky. I then asked him why he would want to see the color ocean when it is nothing but a reflection of the sky and with an annoyed voice he answered me that he doesn't need a reason, he just wants to see it.

I just glanced at him with a fond smile for I heard his muttered answer, the real reason why he wants to see the ocean. For me, that is sweetest thing I have heard from him and I dare not tease him. I just engulfed him in my arms and lead him back to our home.

I can't forget you,

But the truth is, I don't want to forget you.

I can't feel even a bit of happiness

because you're not by my side.

No matter how hard I try,

I'll end up crying

and my tears just won't stop.

I watched from a distance as my wife and two year old son play along the tide but even with them now dominating my life I can't bring myself to forget him. Call me selfish but even as I have sworn before God and the people around me to love and cherish her I can't give her my heart for it has long been given to Ryoma.

Tears started falling unbidden from my eyes as rain drops began falling from the sky my wife and son have long since taken their refuge back inside our home and I was left with my thoughts. I should be happy. I should be content, for I have a loving wife, an adorable son, and a perfect family. But I am not because Ryoma is my happiness and he is not here.

Where are you now?

Who are you being with?

What kind of clothes are you wearing?

What are doing and laughing at?

I am right here.

Even now, I am right here.

I still believe that we will see each other again.

You're the only one I'm thinking of.

As I walked towards the music room with my son in my arms a familiar melody started playing. For a flitting moment unbidden memories washed over me. Memories of the first time I caught Ryoma playing the piano.

It was shortly after we move into this house by the beach. At his insistence we bought a grand piano and place it in the room with a balcony over viewing the ocean. I was looking for Ryoma when I heard the piano playing. Curious as to who was playing it I went to check the music room. As I entered the room my breath was caught in my throat Ryoma sat by the grand piano. An ethereal glow seemed encompassed him like a halo while his slim fingers danced along the ivory keys with ease.

As the song ended I approach him from behind and asked – more like tortured, him to tech me the piece he was playing. After countless pleading he relented and thought me the piece.

Therefore, I am right here

singing the song by myself.

Even though I don't have any reason to embrace this pain anymore,

I can't help doing it.

When I entered the room I sat my son down onto the floor and I proceeded towards the piano. My fingers glided along its lacquered surface as I sat by the bench. I started testing the keys and once I got the feel of the smooth ivory yielding under my fingers to create a tune, I started to play the piece that's been in my mind since I entered the room.

I let the melody wash over me, reminiscing the time long past, a time that both gave me happiness and grief.

And even if the memory only gave me pain I can't help but also think that it also gave me some semblance of happiness for it is a memory I cherish. Our memory me and Ryoma.

Even if I know that the days

when you were by my side making my world shine

won't come back again,

and no matter what will happen,

no matter how far I'm lost,

I never ever want to forget that my heart has chosen to love you.

As I near the final notes of the song, I again stumbled upon the mistake I kept on repeating. As I struggle to recall the final notes I can't help but remember the time when Ryoma would chide me for making the same mistake time and again.

When it seemed hopeless that I won't be able to finish the song a gentle breeze flittered into the room along with the final notes of the song. I smiled wistfully, imagining Ryoma's scowling and saying his trade mark phrase as he finishes the final notes of the song.

No matter where you are,

no matter who you are being with,

no matter what kind of dream you are dreaming of,

or what you are doing and laughing at,

I will be here forever.

Even now, I right am here,

believing in a day that we will meet again.

With the ending of the song, I felt the finality I haven't felt since Ryoma died. It is as if somebody is telling me it is time to let go and for a moment I tried to hold on desperately.

An image of Ryoma suddenly flash by the window of the balcony and with a sad smile on his face I saw him leave. I knew then it was time.

This feeling won't change,

and you are the only one I'm thinking of.

This feeling won't change,

and you are the only one I'm thinking of.

*"Anata?"

"Yes?" Syuusuke answered glancing up at the auburn haired woman who came out of the bedroom.

"Playing that tune again?" She teased coming round the piano to place a chaste kiss on his forehead before picking up her son.

"Aa…" Syuusuke merely answered as he continued to stare at the note he knew he hadn't hit but had definitely heard… just like earlier when he swore the melody had been playing…

"You got it right a few minutes ago." The woman said with a playful frown. "You're just not a piano person."

Hearing the doorbell, the woman rose with her son to answer it. *

I linger for a while inside the music room savoring the last time I would mourn my one and only love. As I gaze at the ocean whispered a silent prayer and gave my final vow.

'I love you Ryoma for ever and always until we meet again,'

Owari

*Excerpt from MoonExpressions' fic 'Last Melody'

A/N: First I would like to thank MoonExpressions for allowing me the use of her fic 'Last Melody' and giving me permission to create a one shot of it. Domo Arigatou MoonExpression-san. V_V Next would be I would suggest that you read first MoonExpreesion's fic 'Last Melody' and 'I'm Right Here' to understand this fic. Lastly, this is my first ever song fic as well as my first ever one shot for this fandom. So I hope you liked it. Please leave me a review, comment, creative criticism which ever you want to call it. Hehe ^__^ Also please visit my livehjournal and see my other fics that were not posted here in ffn. The link is h t t p:// dbskficvault. livejournal. com. See you guys again soon! ~_^V