Perceptions

Looking back, he wasn't sure when his perception changed, when he first started thinking of her as anything other then a fellow soldier, when he first saw her as more than just the sassy, grey-eyed woman with short, unruly black hair constantly falling in her eyes. When he first felt the faintest attraction to her. Maybe it had been that first time he called her 'beautiful', without even thinking about it, really. The fire sparking in her eyes as she sputtered that that wasn't her name had been priceless. Definitely worth being called a handsome thug. Or maybe it had been watching her in action after she became a Jedi. Or on Tatooine when he'd apologized for being a royal pain in the backside and she'd teasingly demanded a kiss to earn her acceptance. Or maybe--

"Carth! Little help!" Carth snapped out of his musings and dragged his attention off memories of Kenna Tasman and on to the roomful of Sith troopers behind the door said Jedi Guardian had just bashed open. Carth dove into the fray, going after one of the three heavy troopers attacking Kenna. Kenna's double bladed blue lightsaber hummed dangerously closer to his left ear and Carth flinched. He refrained from demanding she watch where she swung that thing; the room wasn't nearly big enough for the all-out brawl he and the two Jedi were slowly winning. Finally, the last trooper fell, hole through his breastplate still smoking. Kenna smirked in satisfaction and twirled the hilt of her lightsaber around her hand before hooking it back on her belt. "Hey, Juhani, think you could handling healing this time? That lieutenant resisted much longer than I thought he would." The Cathar nodded, and seconds later, the cool, silvery healing energy flowed through the three of them.

Carth sheathed the Echani Foil and Krath Dire Sword Kenna had "salvaged", as she put it, off fallen enemies for him. That woman was the first person in he couldn't remember how long to toss him a vibroblade instead of a blaster. When she'd seen how good he was, she raised an eyebrow and commented on how he was full of surprises. Carth hadn't mentioned that he'd surprised himself. It had been so long since he used anything other than a blaster. He shook his head when he realized his mind was wandering--again. "Hey, Kenna, don't you think we should head back to the Republic Embassy? We got what we came for." He gestured toward the data module poking out of the salvage pack the tall Jedi carried.

Kenna shook her head. "I want to see if I can find those Selkath young Shaelas was wondering about. Maybe I can convince them to leave the Sith."

"Lead on." Carth rolled his shoulder, trying to get the blasted Mandalorian battle armor to sit right. What did I expect from something Mandalorian? Kenna reached over and slid the shoulder guard up for him. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Something flickered in her eyes when her gloved hand accidentally brushed the side of his face as she pulled back. Carth didn't dwell on it. Instead, he pulled the image of Morgana into his mind's eye again, as he did any time he felt anything even approaching attraction to the raven-haired leader of their team stir inside himself. Since landing on Manaan, he'd found himself doing that a lot. Much as it felt like betraying his wife, Carth had to admit he was finding himself more and more attracted to Kenna every step of the journey.

They found their way past the huge, glowing force field and into the back part of the Sith base, thanks to Kenna's persistence. Upon finding the young Selkath, however, the indomitable Kenna faced another obstacle: convincing obstinate Selkath youth the Sith really were evil. Shasa, in particular, refused to believe her without hard proof. Carth could feel the frustration rising off the poor woman as she turned on the heel of one boot and stomped toward one of the other closed doors, muttering something comparing Selkath youth to Gamorreans in terms of brains. He chuckled and followed her. He couldn't help but admire the grace with which she walked. And fought, for that matter.

Kenna whirled, catching him by surprise. "Why are you watching me?"

"Huh?" Surprise, and shame at being caught, robbed him of a more intelligent-sounding answer.

Kenna rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Carth, if you were any more obvious about it, your eyes would fall out of your head."

He blushed. "Aw, I'm not that bad. Am I?"

Kenna chuckled at the tone of alarm in his voice. He's kinda cute when he's blushing…Oh, honestly! Stop that!! she scolded herself. She had a mission to focus on, she couldn't be distracted by developing feelings for anyone, especially someone who would be a traveling companion for who knew how long. Especially a handsome someone… Stop that!!! "Relax, Carth. I'm just kidding. I'm still curious, though."

Carth's mind raced as he tried to come up with a reply that wouldn't get him thrown over the edge of Ahto City next chance she got. "At any rate, I wasn't ogling you, I've just been…admiring you. I've been watching you in action, your skill…you have a natural talent that's incredible."

It was Kenna's turn to blush. "Thank you. Any other observations?"

Carth chuckled. "A few. But I'll keep those to myself, thank you." The look on her face was priceless.

"I don't mind, y'know," she admitted easily, eyeing him from behind the strands of hair falling in her face. "It's just so fun to give you a hard time."

Carth tried to suppress thoughts of kissing that smirk off her face, only half successfully. "I wish you would have told me that sooner. It would have saved me a lot of trouble," he ribbed right back. The look Kenna gave him had the normally quiet Juhani collapsing against the wall fighting a laugh. "I'm only kidding, gorgeous. You're just as fun to mess with." Kenna straightened her spine and stomped toward the room that had been her original goal. Carth grinned and followed her.

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They found a datapad that had proof for Shasa, a plot to overthrow the Manaan government, in the Sith Master's bedroom, after fighting the Master and two Selkath apprentices Kenna was reluctant to kill. "It won't really help my case that I mean them no harm if I go around killing them remorselessly," she pointed out. Carth had to concede she was right.

The datapad convinced Shasa and the others to leave, Shasa swearing to warn the rest of her friends and the authorities of the Sith plot and the threat it posed. As the Jedi and her companions followed them out the door, Selkath authorities detained Kenna for breaking the neutrality and attacking the Sith base. She dismissed her arbiter and argued her own case, an act the arbiter called suicidal, but he didn't know Kenna. She showed the court the datapad with the details of the Sith plot to corrupt the youth of Manaan in order to eventually take over the government. They let her go.

She found Carth and Juhani and they headed back to the mercenary enclave so Kenna could tell Shaelas she'd found his daughter. As they headed for the door, after refusing to accept payment, Kenna paused. She could feel that Carth wanted to say something to her, but was hesitating. A look back over her shoulder confirmed it. "Hey, Carth?"

"Yes? What's on your mind?" he asked, distracted by something, she wasn't sure what.

"You look like you want to say something."

"Oh, you can tell, can you?" He raised one eyebrow, teasing smile on his face.

Alright, he asked for it. "Well, you keep drooling every time you look at me," Kenna retorted, "That's a sign, I think."

Carth shook his head. "Oh, yeah? Well, listen, beautiful, I don't need to take this abuse. I get enough female Jedi bashing from Bastila, thank you very much."

Kenna grinned fiendishly. Left me a hole I could fly the Hawk through, she smirked. "Oh, so there's something between you and Bastila." His expression…Oh, Force, my kingdom for a holorecorder!

"What?! No! I mean…no! Don't be crazy!" the pilot sputtered, incredulity robbing him of the ability to form coherent sentences. Kenna nearly laughed.

"Oh, so someone would have to be crazy to like Bastila? I'll have to tell her that," she threatened, with no intention of following through.

"Oh, no you don't. I'd have to shoot you down first, and I'm not kidding," Carth chuckled. His expression turned serious. "Anyway…as fun, uh, as this is, I do have to talk to you about something serious. Really serious. Uh, is this a good time?"

Kenna nodded, sobering up for his sake. "This is fine."

Carth rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Alright, I'm, uh…I'm concerned about you. I've been keeping these thoughts to myself mostly, but I think it's time I say something."

"What's this about?" Kenna leaned against the waist-high wall overlooking the ocean.

"It's about you." Carth met her gaze, the sincerity in his eyes impossible to ignore. "I'm worried about what might happen to you. You have a lot of courage, and the fact that you've remained strong is amazing, but there's even greater danger ahead. I think you might be setting yourself up for a fall. Maybe at the urging of the Jedi, I don't know…but you're definitely going to become a target. If, uh...if I'm going to find some purpose beyond taking revenge on Saul, then it's going to have to be in protecting you. I don't know why, but I think some terrible fate is waiting for you. I think the Jedi Council knows it, too. And I don't want that to come to pass."

Kenna felt a chill dance down her spine. Something told her he was right, but still, "You think the Jedi have thrown me to the wolves?" she asked skeptically. He's just being paranoid. As usual.

"Don't chalk it up to my paranoia just yet," Carth insisted, raising his hands in a gesture of protest as if he'd read her mind, "Something isn't right. I blamed it on you, before, but I…I think the Jedi didn't tell us everything. If I'm going to live past Saul, I need you to as well. Let me protect you…from yourself, from the Sith…you have to let me try."

Kenna was nearly left speechless by the earnestness of his plea. "Why…why are you doing this?"

His eyes drilled to her soul. "Because…because I never got the chance to save my wife and son. Because I didn't stop Saul when I had the chance. Because I finally have the chance to do it right." He hesitated for a second before continuing, "You are an extraordinary woman…you make me think that maybe--" Just maybe-- "I might have some purpose beyond revenge. I…I don't know whether it means anything to you…but it does to me."

He's so sweet! No! Don't even go there, Kenna Tasman!! Thoughts all in a muddle, Kenna managed to reply, "It…it means a lot to me, Carth. Thank you." She smiled at him.

Carth sighed in relief. "I'm glad to hear it. I'll do my best," he promised. That resolved, they headed for the Republic Embassy to give the diplomat the data module and see what he knew about the Star Map. They ended up down in an underwater research station battling insane Selkath. When one of them got off a lucky stun grenade, Carth got to make good on his promise to protect Kenna. She was only out of it for a few seconds, but the Selkath still went after her. So Carth went after them. Kenna recovered and threw herself into the fight in time to kill a couple of them. After fighting every living thing, and a few droids, in the station, Kenna pulled on the environment suit and stepped through the pressure door alone, leaving Carth to pace and mutter to himself until she returned while Juhani waited patiently.

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Kenna made her way cautiously through the water, checking for firaxin sharks every few seconds. Carth's paranoia is rubbing off on me, she complained to herself. She made to the other part of the station alive and in one piece, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. After talking the scientists in the base out of killing her, Kenna headed for the kolto harvester control panel. Kono was very persuasive, but she had to agree with Sami. It would be better to destroy the harvester. Upon reaching the panel, Kenna fiddled with the controls until the tank contained 4 units sangen and the machinery was destroyed. She tromped past it, smirking with satisfaction behind her face shield. The Star Map sat just across the bridge in front of her. She crossed, uploaded the data, and headed back to her companions.

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Carth couldn't contain a sigh of relief when Kenna clambered back through the airlock, triumphant grin announcing her success. He knew she could handle herself, but he liked to worry.

"Well, let's go. Next stop, Kashyyyk." Kenna headed out the door.

"Right behind you," Carth chuckled.

They were almost back to the submersible when they ran into trouble. Malak's apprentice, Darth Bandon, waited behind the second to last door. Why did I think it would be easy? You'd think I would have learned by now… Carth lectured himself as he shook his head and unsheathed his swords. Next to him, Kenna and Juhani's lightsabers hummed to life.

The three would have been hard enough to beat just in combat. When you added the fact one of Bandon's 'minion's' seemed to have a deep love affair with Force Wave and Choke, they became nearly impossible. Finally, one of Juhani's attempts at Stasis Field actually landed on the two weaker Sith, and they froze in place. Kenna sucked some health out of Bandon, then healed Carth and Juhani. The three of them concentrated on the Sith apprentice until, after three attempts to drain life from them, the man fell to Kenna's 'saber. Ignoring the body on the ground, Kenna and Juhani turned their attention to one of the just now recovering Sith. Carth went after the other one, hoping they could kill both before he had to endure another Force Choke. No such luck. Kenna and Juhani's Sith was already half-dead before they got to him, so he went down quickly enough. But of course the one left to the only non-Jedi of the three of them was hardly injured. Carth would have been cursing the Sith--if he wasn't trying so hard to breathe. Kenna noticed, snarled, and slammed one blade of her lightsaber into the man's back. His eyes started to roll back, and in one last act of desperation, the dying Sith pulled off another Force Wave. Juhani resisted, and Kenna had her back to the hallway to the submersible dock, so there wasn't much for her to hit, she just went tumbling. Carth went flying full-force into a wall. He sat up rubbing a new bruise on the back of his head. You're doing a great job protecting her, Onasi, he berated himself as the stars faded and the disorientation wore off.

"You okay?" Kenna offered him a hand up. Carth sighed, nodded, and accepted the help. "Hey, Carth?" He turned his attention away from his tender scalp and to her. "Don't beat yourself up." She smiled. "That's an order."

He couldn't stay mad, even at himself, around her. That smile… "Yes, ma'am." He playfully saluted her.

"Oh, you…" Kenna bopped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Ow!" Carth pulled off the shoulder guard and glared at the nasty lightsaber scorch mark singeing across his skin. "That's new," he muttered. Guess I didn't duck fast as I thought I did.

"Let me." Kenna rested one hand on the wound, pressing gently. Carth welcomed the familiar, cool touch of the Force Heal she channeled, more because it distracted him from the feel of her hand on his arm than for any other reason. She'd found new gloves in the Sith base; fingerless Eriadu strength amplifiers, and there was nothing between her skin and his. He was trying his best to ignore that fact, but his best was coming up just a tad short.

"Think you'll ever share the stories behind any of these with me?" Kenna asked softly, tracing one of the older scars on the pilot's shoulder before--reluctantly-- pulling her hand back.

"Maybe." Carth shrugged the shoulder guard back on. "When we're not being chased all across the galaxy by a crazed, Jedi-hating Sith Lord while trying to find ancient artifacts to stop said Sith Lord." He grinned at her.

Kenna rolled her eyes. "Don't get cute."

"Too late," Carth teased, hastily stepping out of arm's reach.

"That's so old," Kenna pointed out, silently agreeing nevertheless. "C'mon, we should get going."

"Yes, if Malak sent his apprentice after us, he must be truly desperate," Juhani agreed. They headed for the submersible and ascended to the surface.

After a brief stop to inform the Republic diplomat of the condition of his research team and kolto harvester, Kenna planned to head straight for the Ebon Hawk and sleep all the way to Kashyyyk. The Selkath had other plans. Somehow they found out something had happened underwater, and she had to stand trial again. Fortunately, her decision to destroy the kolto harvester instead of killing the humongous Firaxin shark was the "right one" as far as the Selkath were concerned. They let her go--again. Kenna once again found Carth and Juhani waiting for her, then wearily led the way back to the Hawk. When she stumbled slightly over an uneven rivet in the boarding ramp, Carth rested one hand on her back to steady her. Kenna looked over and smiled her thanks at him. They both looked up at the sound of a throat clearing. Bastila stood at the top of the ramp, arms crossed, disapproving glare darkening her eyes. Oh, no. Why her? Why not Mission? Or Canderous? Why Bastila??? Kenna closed her eyes and groaned internally. "Bastila, I'm tired, and I want to sleep," she muttered as the Padawan followed her toward the bunk room. Carth made a beeline for the cockpit. Thanks a lot, Onasi.

"We need to talk first. Or shall I just use our Force bond to find the answers to my questions?" Bastila raised an eyebrow at Kenna's alarmed expression. "Keeping secrets?"

"N-No," Kenna stammered, collapsing on her bunk and staring at the floor. "Just a few things I think you might…misinterpret or something."

"Jedi are forbidden to love." Bastila steadied herself against the wall as the Hawk lifted off.

"So?" Kenna tried desperately to empty her mind, block the Force bond.

"I have eyes, Kenna Tasman. I saw the way--"

"Carth likes to worry. Maybe it's a side effect of his trust issues, I don't know. He always jumps to worst case scenarios."

" My perception is quite different. He certainly seems to trust you. And the feeling seems to be mutual."

"It is. But there's nothing beyond mutual trust, and him feeling some driving need to protect me. I guess he's convinced I'm extremely important to saving the Republic or something." Kenna lay back and closed her eyes.

"Nothing romantic?"

"Nothing," Kenna promised. Yet.

"Do you want there to be?" Bastila demanded, settling on the one question Kenna had been desperately hoping she wouldn't ask.

She opened one eye. "No," she lied. Force forgive me, but I do not need her breathing down my neck. Bastila reluctantly accepted the one syllable answer and left, resolve to interrogate their pilot scrawled across her face. Kenna groaned and tried to get to sleep. She hoped Carth could lie better than she could.

Kenna was staring at the ceiling when the rap on the door came a few minutes later. "Who is it?" she mumbled, half asleep.

"Carth."

"Come in," she called, swinging her legs over the edge of the bunk and sitting up. "What's up?" The poor man looked so out of his depth it nearly made her laugh. "You can sit next to me," she pointed out when he leaned against the wall. "I don't bite, I promise."

"Thanks, beautiful. Very reassuring." He sat next to her, but not too close, she noticed.

"Bastila jump down your throat, too?" Kenna asked after the silence stretched on long enough.

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Told me to stay away from you, not distract you. Then she asked me if there was anything romantic between us."

"What did you tell her?" Please, please, please…

""Nothing. True enough. But then she asked if I wanted there to be something."

"And?" Kenna held her breath. If their answers on this weren't the same, Bastila would never shut up.

"I told her no."

"So did I," Kenna admitted, rubbing her arm and staring at a scratch on the floor.

Carth gently pulled her chin up so she was looking at him. "I lied."

Kenna grinned. "So did I," she whispered. Oh, Force, his smile…if I could get one of those every day… "Go fly the ship. We can figure things out on Kashyyyk. Far away from a certain Jedi princess."

"Good plan, gorgeous." Carth kissed her gently on the forehead and left.