So I know there are about a thousand of these, but this happens to be my very first iCarly fic! That's how special it is lol. Enjoy! (I'm gonna warn you, this story is really weird... but in a humorous way!)

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. An interesting man named Dan Schneider does.

Four people silently sat around the table in the Shay's kitchen. Two males, and the other two… well, you do the math. They all endured the awkward silence by glaring, poking, or demolishing their sorry-for-bringing-home-prisoners-in-giant-pants spaghetti tacos.

The eldest of the four, the brunet male who'd made these oddly named concoctions, finally spoke up, "Are you guys still mad at me for not getting you out of those chairs?" He tried his best at a puppy dog look, unfortunately he had spaghetti sauce and taco bits all over his face making the look a bit of a fail.

The other male, also a brunet, ignored the creepy face. "Nah, you got us out eventually." And the female brunette, as well as the first guy's little sister (you know, the one with food all over his face), just shrugged, her mind obviously somewhere else.

The last of the four, which if you did your math right would be a girl, looked at her friends furiously. "Uh yeah I'm still mad!" she shouted at the older brunet, her blonde hair shaking furiously. Yes, blonde, although that was not the only way she stood out from the group.

"Would you stop doing that?!" The brunette screeched… to no one in particular.

Woah, wait a minute, are you talking to me?

"Yeah, I'm talking to you! We have names you know! There's no point in continuing to refer to us in such complex ways. Why do narrators always have to try to sound so intelligent when all it does is make things more confusing?!"

Her older brother gasped, "You can talk to the narrator? No way! Can you tell her to give me wings?"

The girl ignored her brother. "Stop calling him 'my brother'. His name is Spencer Shay. And I'm Carly Shay. And he's my friend Freddie Benson, and the furious blonde's my best friend Sam Puckett."

Are you done yet? You're supposed to be quiet and in thought, not yelling at your creator.

"You're not my creator, Dan Schneider is."

Oh whatever! If you paid one bit of attention, you'd know I already mentioned this bit of information in the disclaimer.

"Just making sure. You know, no one reads those things."

Can we return to the story now?

"Will you stop trying to sound complex?"

Fine!

"We may return to the story," she said smugly.

You know I'm going to have to make everyone pretend none of this tirade ever happened, right?

"Do whatever you'd like," Carly Shay finally shut her mouth.

Sam continued to shout at Spencer, "You left us lying there for two hours and a half! I hate being restricted."

"Hey that's what I said," Freddie argued. If she was going to be mean to Spencer, he'd rather she didn't use his words.

Sam shifted her glare to the interrupting boy. "Whatever, you're life's a restriction!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Before the blonde even opened her mouth to respond, he already knew he should have never asked, but somehow she always managed to get him to. It was one of her witch powers.

Sam smirked, "Exhibit A. 'Freddie, you better make sure you take your tick bath tonight 'cause you know one day, ticks are going to take over Seattle and you'll regret—'"

"I get it!" Freddie interrupted Sam's high-pitched mockery of his mom.

"So what did you guys end up doing before I came back?" Spencer asked innocently.

"Ugh, I just fell asleep, not like there was anything better to do anyways. There's only so much excitement you can get when you're taped next to a dork."

The dork in question ignored the foreseen comment. "Yeah, I fell asleep too."

All three then looked at Carly expecting her to add the same fact, but she just continued staring at her untouched taco.

"Did you stay up the whole time?" Freddie asked, semi-concerned of what lying in a sitting position (huh?) for two hours and half could do to her sanity.

"Well, I've learned that each time I stop paying attention you two just go mad with passion," she grumbled without breaking eye contact with her taco.

"Carls…" Sam started, mentally swearing off laughing gas for life.

"Oh," Spencer looked curiously between the three teenagers. "Does this have to do with the thing you told me about earlier…?" He winked repeatedly until his eye hurt.

"Spencer, I think you need to go take a bath," Carly declared.

"But I wanna know!" The one who was apparently the guardian of the home whined.

"Spencer…" The one who was supposed to be taken care of growled. Spencer took the hint and reluctantly made his way to his room, the whole time attempting to mouth at Carly to 'give him the deets' afterwards.

When he finally disappeared, Freddie returned his attention to Carly. "We said we were sorry."

Carly sighed, not wanting to cause her friends anymore distress. "I just couldn't sleep was all." And then she added, "I tend to be unable to when I have unanswered questions." This time a small smirk placed itself on her face.

Sam and Freddie froze, somewhat hoping this would also freeze time thus enabling Carly to ask the unanswered question again.

"Oh don't worry about that one," Carly smiled, reading their minds. But her tone of voice made them unsure whether they should sigh of relief yet. "I do have another question. Why'd you decide to share your first kiss with Sam, of all girls, instead of… let's say… me?"

Sam raised her eyebrows, but Freddie smiled, he knew the answer to this one. "You already had a first kiss. The point of this was to both get it over with."

Carly appeared unfazed, which made Sam eye her carefully. "So it was much more special to share your first kiss with your 'sworn frenemy' than with your crush," she nodded to herself as if agreeing before they could try to do other wise.

Freddie's eyes widened. Although Carly hadn't stated it interrogatively, he knew he'd better say something. Anything. "Nobody said anything about special," he mumbled.

"I don't know," she sang as she stood from her spot. She opened the fridge to put away her uneaten food. "Someone in this room is a little bit talkative in their sleep."

"Talking in your sleep?! Seriously that's just lame, even for you, Fredward."

Freddie tried to defend himself. "I only talk in my sleep when dreaming of a cru"—but he knew better than to finish that statement—"I don't… do that." Sam immediately reached over and punched his chest and he groaned in pain.

"I wouldn't be so quick to punch your pillow," Carly sang again, her smile taking over her face.

Sam's jaw dropped, appalled; Freddie lifted his shirt and stared at it as if he'd learned it was diseased. They swiftly exchanged a glance, and just as promptly looked away as they imagined exactly how the two hours and a half may have gone afterall.

"So… I'm going to step out to talk to Lewbert for seven to eight seconds… or more. You guys go ahead and share a special, once in a lifetime, heart-stopping moment."

Sam glared at the boy in front of her as he looked back horrified that those words may have come out of his mouth. He was unsure he'd live through the seven to eight seconds to follow.

"Oh, and just in case you'll want to keep this one a secret from me too, just remember I have weapons: laughing gas and sleep." Carly added before stepping and leaning against the door in amusement. She tried to listen in but heard nothing, which she took as a good thing—Sam wasn't beating him up.

"So are they kissing now?" She started talking to herself.

Oh, you're talking to me aren't you? Well, that's for me to know and for Dan to write an episode about.

"Aw, you're so mean." And then she proceeded to skip to the lobby. "I am not skipping to Lewbert!" She yelled.

IT'S MY STORY AND I'LL HAVE YOU DO WHAT I WANT!

PS. If any of you are reading my HM story Forget & Forgive, it will be updated… soon. I'm halfway done—just got a tad distracted as you could tell.