Lonely

by Caz

I missed him. I hadn't seen my beloved Jethro for three, whole weeks and my entire body ached for his touch again. I blamed it on the pregnancy because I had never felt so wanton in my life as I do almost constantly now, not even back when we had first got it together. Back when sex came along with a blinding love that constantly threatened to consume our whole life.

It still did and I missed it. I missed his huge arms around me, the whispers in my ear, the ones of what he wanted to do to me and how he wanted to do it to me. I missed him deep inside, not only with his magnificent body, but his heart but his very soul, too. I loved him desperately and my body tingled with a desire that refused to be ignored anymore.

Which is why I found myself in our bedroom groping around in the back of the wardrobe for that box.

Our first months of non-stop passion was contained within that box of secrets and this had been the first time I had touched it since we had moved into our new house. It was the first time that I had needed to touch it. I needed to be sent to heaven and back and the contents of our box was the only way.

My fingertips touched the velvety material sparking an instant warmth deep in my belly. Pulling out the luscious material, a smile touched my lips and I couldn't stop myself as I brushed the fabric across my cheek instantly going back to the last time that I felt its softness. The sigh that left my mouth was filled with memories, promise, and more.

Reaching inside the box again I found what I was really looking for. The wordless dvd case hid its contents from the rest of the world. But for us, it held another story. One of ecstasy, hunger, raw emotions and a love that was so painfully obvious that you could almost visualise the electricity between us.

Slipping the disc into the machine and switching the tv on, I waited until it sparked into life. The throb of expectancy began to build within me, more so as I began to strip my heated body of its confining clothes. One by one each garment added to the pile until I was naked and aroused. The goose-bumps sprung up from every visible pore and my hands automatically hugged my frame, highlighting even more the desire that was already coursing through my body as the images that I was about to lose myself in began to start within my mind, before the film had even begun.

Flicking the switch as I sat on the bed, I instantly heard his throaty chuckle and I so badly wanted to see and feel him that I fell back onto the bed groaning. But I wasn't sure if it was a groan of desire or for what I was about to do or because I missed the other half of me so badly. I did know...it was for all three. I wanted him home. I needed him home.

I needed him inside me.

I could hear Gibbs' voice in the background as he began to strip my clothes from me. We were so crazy for each other then and I would never have done this dvd now even though our baby was barely visible to see. But she was there, I could feel her flutterings deep within me, and along side the laughter that bubbled up when I'd first felt her had come a flood of tears to know that her daddy had missed it.

The room went silent and I knew that Gibbs was kissing me. I closed my eyes and let myself remember. I remember him nipping my ear lobe and capturing my hands above my head, effectively immobilising me as he began on my mouth. Oh, my God, I had never been kissed that way before. His tongue kept teasing mine and every time I went to join his lips with my lips he moved away, just hovering. And then he would start all over again. And then he began to thrust his tongue so deeply I thought I was going to die. But the sensation was mind-blowing and I didn't want him to stop. And then he really did blow my mind.

Gibbs began to plunge his tongue into my mouth over and over again as he made deep, penetrating love to my mouth until my body could stand no more. I needed to touch him, to egg his body on, but he denied me that need. His grip on my hands tightened as I struggled to free myself. I felt my insides begin to explode with a passion like I had never felt before and he swallowed my whimpers as he continued to pillage my mouth until I couldn't stand it any longer. And then I screamed, out loud as my body pulsated with an inner orgasm that swept me to oblivion and beyond.

~*~

As the scream dissipated into the distance it still raged on within my head as the moment swam over and over in my mind. My body was ready, more than ready for the scene that I knew was coming next.

~*~

Hands. His hands began to work on my fevered body. Lightly scrapping his fingernail across every inch of my torso barely brushing the one part that I need him to touch. The one part that silently begged, but he steadfastly ignored it. Soft fingertips traced each breast until at last he couldn't deny himself any longer, or me. His tongue trailed its own sensuous trail along my collar bone and down between the valley that separated my rosy tips until at last, he began to suckle, drawing a primeval longing from my very core. First one then the other and then back again until I felt the fire within me begin to build again.

I began to squirm, my legs automatically parting with the ache that pulsed through me and it was then that he touched the feminine heart of me. I was already saturated from the orgasm that soaked my soul when he kissed me all the way to heaven and back and I shuddered before he had even reached the entrance, the expectancy alone was enough to deliver the delicious shiver and I heard the seductive chuckle against my breast and I grinned in response suddenly shy. I squealed the intimate request with embarrassment, "Now! Do it now, Gibby!" My mind wanted to scream dirtier but my mouth just would not comply so I let my eyes tell him what I really wanted.

He kissed me in response, whispering into my mouth, "Shhhh, sweetheart, soon, I promise." I responded by catching his hand and putting it right where I wanted it to go and he laughed out aloud.

~*~

I heard his laughter across the room and I laughed along too as I remembered what I did to him. Scuttling up the bed further, I draped the velvety cloth over my eyes, plunging me into darkness, and then waited...

~*~

At last, he touched me. As his finger touched me inside I flew upright as the surge of feelings catapulted me to a place that was beyond reach, no matter how hard I tried. Rocked by the force of my emotions, my head fell back and I just let it wash over me. I knew Gibbs was watching me and I felt like a goddess. He made me feel like a goddess. As he searched for that special place that would send me tumbling over, the rest of my being began to get ready to tumble along with it. I could feel it building, I could feel it invading every fibre, with every emotion threatening, bullying me to let go. But I needed more.

Falling back onto the bed I grabbed Gibbs' hair forcing his face back to mine. I wanted to feel what I felt earlier. I wanted him to make love my mouth. I was so close, so close. But he had other ideas and I whimpered when I lost the contact as he broke away from me. But barely seconds later he was kissing me again, but this time my mouth was free to gratefully gasp in precious air as we began the climb again. His tongue began a new dance, one of discovery for him, and for me. Oh, we'd done this before, but never...like this...

This time we were in love. No longer just lovers, but in love and it felt so right, so good. God, it felt good and I just had to watch him take me there, to that place, so I sat up and watched. He knelt on the floor and his hands caressed my waist as his tongue caressed my clitoris. I couldn't stop my hand from reaching down to stroke his silver hair, pushing the damp tendrils off his forehead, dreamily watching those long still dark lashes that I loved as much as the vivid blue eyes that they shielded. It was those eyes that I first fell in love with. When our eyes first met I found myself captured in those blue eyes and it was several moments before either one of us broke the contact. But in those moments, his eyes and his mind had told her that he wanted her. More than wanted her. It had been enough.

~*~

I smiled at the memory because it seemed so long ago now and here we were, married, blissfully happy and waiting for the birth of our baby daughter. It was just a shame that Gibbs had to work away sometimes, but this job had been the the longest and the hardest. Hard enough for me to have to resort to our own private dvd to ease that desperate ache. I heard the groan erupt from the tv screen across the room and knew it was time.

~*~

I watched Gibbs' head come up from between my quivering thighs. His eyes locked with mine and I knew then that he was going to make love to me. I trembled with the sheer expectation as his eyes fell shut and his lips touched mine. Pulling me to the edge of the bed I felt his hardness push against my waiting entrance, but I was ready for him and as his tongue entered my eager mouth that hardness embedded itself so deep within me that I felt it touch my womb. A guttural moan left our lips simultaneously as I embraced him inside and out, the sensations so strong that it was a full minute before either one of us could move.

And then it began. In and out, in and out, plunge after plunge, one breathless grunt mingled with another with our bodies now encased in a sheen of perspiration as we both rode the storm. Locked in a timeless embrace that defied logic and understanding to intrude.

~*~

I couldn't help myself, I had to touch me, I had to replace his touch, just for a minute. In the privacy of my own bedroom, I had to relieve the ache that had steadily built. I knew Gibbs would be shocked if he could see me now, but I had to do this...for me, because I needed to feel him so badly. So desperately. I wanted him home, where he belonged.