I apologize for the long update. I planned on getting this up a lot sooner but my poor baby comp came down with some viruses and had to be cleaned out. It took almost two weeks. Oh well. I shoved this one out pretty quickly so I hope you like it despite that fact. Enjoy!

IIIII

Chapter Seven: Confession

IIIII

Carry on my wayward son,

There'll be peace when you are done,

Lay your weary head to rest,

Don't you cry no more.

- Carry On My Wayward Son, Kansas -

IIIIII

The ride to Dr. Transinski's office was more than a little uncomfortable. Edward was unsure of what to say to make things anymore bearable. Alphonse wouldn't say as much but if he was as upset as he looked, there was no way of comforting him anyway. Nothing Ed could say would make this alright. But Al's always been polite so he hasn't verbalized his discomfort because he knows Ed would only lecture him further on how this is the best thing for him.

Alphonse wants to some say in the matter. But at twelve years old, despite his high intelligence level, Ed doesn't think he is capable of making this decision. Al, in a fit of rage that morning, had exclaimed he wouldn't say a word to the psychiatrist about anything. This had only resulted in him receiving a harsh reprimand and he apologized for his outburst before they left. Edward knew Al was only as frustrated as he was about this situation thrust upon them. Neither of them wanted to admit their loss of power but Edward swore he would return Al's self-worth no matter what.

"You'll be sitting in, right?" asked Al softly as they pulled in front of the large brick building.

"Of course." I don't trust anyone more than you do right now, Ed mentally added.

"Brother?"

Ed unbuckled himself. "Yeah?"

"Has anyone ever . . . " Al looked out his window, not wanting to meet his brother's eyes. "Has anyone ever done anything really bad to you?"

Ed's eyebrows shot up. He hadn't been expecting that at all. Why would Al assume something bad had happened to him? He hadn't given any inkling of the sort, and there's nothing in recent or long memory that had happened to him which could be categorized as "really bad". Sure, he's been through some rough times and even rougher battles, but he's come away mostly unscathed. Ed still has the occassional nightmare but they aren't severe enough to cause him problems during the day.

"Why do you ask?" cautiously asked Ed.

"Because if whatever happened to me happened to you . . . I don't . . . Ed . . . "

Ed shut the car door and turned to his little brother. He could feel a huge confession about to be made and Al needed his full attention. Ed may never get another chance of Al opening up like this again. Still though Al refused to meet his piercing gaze because Al just knew he was going to be condemned for this if he is to admit it. But hadn't his brother already figured it out? No, he only suspected, right? That's why hes always asking questions instead of accusing.

"Did you want to tell me something before we go in?" Ed prodded a little. "I . . . I know this is rough for you but if there's something I need to know you should tell me, Al. I'm not going to push you away if thats what you're thinking." Or were told.

"What if something did happen, brother? Would you hate me?"

Edward could feel his heart skip a beat at the mere insinuation of him hating Al. He could never hate his little brother.

"Al you know the answer to that. Of course not. I could never hate you."

"You don't know what I did-"

Edward leaned in and in a firm tone said, "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was!" Al retorted, uncharacteristically slamming his fist on the seat in fury. "I led him on! It was all my fault! I didn't know how to stop myself though. I . . . I didn't know how I was doing it but . . . "

"Listen to me," Edward said. He managed to keep most of the anger out of his voice. "Roy has been feeding you lies. There was nothing you could have said or done to 'lead him on'. He's a sick pervert who likes vulnerable boys. Unfortunately you were right there when the urges hit and theres nobody but me to blame for that."

"Brother, please. You didn't know."

"I should have! You had nightmares night after night. You were upset for no apparent reason. I don't know what I could have done but I swear to you Al, I swear on Mom's grave, if I had known that it was happening I would have never let it go on. Never, you hear me? I would have killed him before I knowingly let him lay another finger on you. And the only thing stopping me from killing him right now is that you need me here."

Al unbuckled himself and threw himself into Edward's arms. Edward isn't much a hugging type of person but for Al he'll always make an exception. He wrapped his arms around Al and they're protective arms. Edward will be damned before he lets anyone else hurt his younger brother ever again. He knows he can't keep this promise because the day will come when Al is an adult and has to venture out into the world and make his own mistakes, but, until then, he's not going to let a damn thing through.

Then there was another question itching at Edwards mind that he's not sure if he wanted answered.

"Al, how far did he go?"

Al froze in his arms. He pulled back and looked at Ed as though he couldn't believe he'd even brought it up.

"I know you don't want to answer that - hell, I'm not sure if I want to know - but if he . . . if he went that far, I have to know. The police have to know-"

"The police? Brother no! I can't tell on Mr. Mustang."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because he asked me not to and I promised him I wouldn't."

Edward felt like shaking his little brother until some sense was rattled into him. "Promised? Al, look, I know I don't understand this situation at all but I think your promise is null and void. Theres no reason to keep that promise because you were abused."

"I'm sorry but I can't. I mean, he told me a lot of things that I can't say . . . a lot of bad stuff happened to him too. He even cried, brother. He cried to me a-and I can't betray that trust."

"He's a goddamn adult, Al! He doesn't need to cry on a twelve year old's shoulder! If he has problems he should have gone to see his own psychiatrist," angrily replied Edward. He couldn't believe he was even having this conversation but there it was.

"He couldn't! He's high up in Central! If he admitted that he was a little depressed he would have been stripped of his rank and you know it. Theres no room for the unstable in the military, right?"

"Then he shouldn't be in the military," snapped Ed. "And you know he shouldn't be a high ranking officer if he's a pedophile. It gives him too much power. If you don't turn him in Al he could go on to abuse other children."

Alphonse cringed as though he had never thought of this. Maybe he hadn't, concluded Ed. But he has to be told otherwise Edward may never get him to talk to the police.

"He said I was the only one," Al murmured.

"He told you a bunch of lies," Ed countered.

Al paused for a moment then can't help but say, "You're angry."

"Of course I'm angry! Someone hurt you. I wish you were more angry."

"You aren't angry with me?"

Edward sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I'm not angry with you, no. I'm furious with Mustang is all. I'm sorry if I've been over emotional but the fact that someone hurt you strikes a nerve with me. I don't like seeing you in pain."

"I'm not being hurt anymore though." Al tried to sound reassuring.

"He may have stopped abusing you, Al, but the abuse lives on in your head."

"I'm sorry, brother. I wish I knew how to be stronger," said Al.

"You don't need to be stronger. You just need to know how to cope." Edward looked at the building with a healthy amount of nervousness and said, "I guess we're going to be a little late, huh?"

"I still don't want to see him . . . "

"Al, you know you should."

Al sighed and shrugged. "I guess so. I don't know what I'm gonna say though. I don't want to tell anyone else-Brother?" A panicked tone surfaces. "Winry . . . Winry knows, doesn't she?"

Figuring its better that he not lie to the kid he simply nodded.

"Oh . . . " Tears welled up in his eyes and he shook his head to be rid of them. "I guess there's nothing we can do about that. She-she doesn't think I'm gross?"

"No one does," answered Ed. He opened his car door and shoved his keys in his pocket. "Now lets get in before the doc thinks we're skipping."

As Al got out of the car he realized all he cared about is that his brother didn't know the truth about how far it went.

IIIII

Dr. Transinski is around six feet tall and rail thin. He had a bright, toothy grin that was probably meant to be becoming, but turned out to be a little on the creepy side. Edward still got a good vibe from him though. Al had shaken his hand, albiet a little reluctantly.

"Its good to meet you Alphonse. Or do you prefer Al?"

"Al is fine," He replied, his head held high. He decided he wasn't going to back down from this challenge.

Honestly, after his confession, he feels a little lighter. As though a huge burden has been lifted from his small shoulders. It doesn't make the pain go away but it turns it down from a throbbing flame to a strong ache.

"So what do you want to talk about?" questioned Transinski.

"Ummm . . . I don't know. I didn't really want to come in the first place," answered Al truthfully.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to talk about anything."

"I know its scary at first," said Transinski, leaning forward in his chair placed across from the leather couch where Ed and Al sit. "But talking about your problems has been proven to help relieve stress and manage emotional pain. It may not make all of your agony go away but it certainly doesn't hurt to try and fix it."

Al tried to think in this context but its hard. Especially when you've had it drilled into you for two years that it's going to wreck havoc if you talk about your problems.

"Lets start from the beginning," said Transinski. He tented his fingers underneath his chin and with a knowing stare he added, "Why don't you tell me about how scared you were the first time it happened."

Al clammed up.

Does everybody know?

Even Edward wasn't sure if he wanted to hear this part. He couldn't deal with the thought of Al being frightened - alone, desperate, scared - without him. But if the good doctor thought its for the best . . .

"C'mon Al. You can do this."

Al gave Ed a sideways glance, as though to question is ability to be able to do this, but he sighed and murmured, "Just . . . just really, really scared. I-I didn't know what to do. So I, um, just . . . "

"Take your time. And feel free to say anything that pops into your head whether you think its okay to say or not. There is no judgment here."

"Why does it matter how scared I was?" Al immediately retorted. "I don't even want to be here. No offense meant but I don't want to talk. Niether of you know how I feel-"

"Which is why I want you to tell us," Transinski calmly replied despite Al's rising, frantic tone.

"I feel like I'm going to explode! I feel like I'm dying! I don't know, maybe that'd be best, because if I die inside I don't have to feel anything, right? I feel horrible for being a burden to my brother. And sometimes I don't know how to feel. Some mornings I wake up and I'm fine and other times I wake up and I'm completely lost. And when I feel like its all becoming too much I have to bite myself to escape it. And its all because of him . . . " Als hands became fists.

"Tell me about him too, if you'd like," suggested Transinski.

Al looked at his brother once again but it was only a quick glance. He didn't want to mention Mustang because he knew Edward would only get furious. He was already looking sick at what Al had already admitted. He'd feel insurmountably more guilty if he were to make Ed even more disturbed. But he barreled on anyway.

"Mr. Mustang was my best friend and is now my worst enemy. Its the only way I can describe it."

"Why don't you describe the best friend part."

"Well . . . he would take me out to fairs and bookstores and buy me whatever I wanted. I guess I was kinda selfish back then but I liked the attention he was giving me - well, that was before . . . and I-I honestly didn't know he was going to turn on me. If I had I never would have taken those presents. H-He said I owed him."

It took everything Edward had not to speak up. After all, he had to let Transinski do his job.

Transinski's warm blue eyes met with Al's and he shook his head. "No, Al. I can assure you, you owed him nothing. No amount of gifts or presents he gave you could have justified what was done. But go on, tell me about this other side."

All Al could manage was, "It's dark. Really dark."

"I want to tell you something, Al. I think you're really brave." The twelve year old cast him an odd glance. "No really, I do. Coming in here and going through what you've been through? It takes courage. And you're right, me nor your brother know what you're going through right now. Which is why you have to do your best to explain it. Talk it out. I've been in the mental health field for longer than I care to remember and I've seen people try to be stoic, try to hold it inside, because they think if they let it out they're weak. But its the exact opposite. It takes an honorable, brave person to open up and admit their problems. Which is why I can honestly say I'm humbled by you. I'm sure if I had gone through what you did I wouldn't have dealt with it nearly as gracefully."

"B-but I haven't been handling it good-"

"I don't think anyone can handle it 'good'. The best we can hope for is simply handling it." Transinski smiled down at him and shrugged. "It's only my opinion, Al. You may take it or leave it; whichever you prefer."

Al actually smiled. A genuine smile.

Maybe this guy will make it halfway bearable, thought Ed, wrapping an arm around Al proudly.

IIIIII

I want to say that I appreciate all of the reviews I've recieved thusfar. It's good to know whether you enjoy it or not! So review and tell me if you hate it or if you kinda sorta almost like it.