AN: Phew, glad that this one is done! My head is cooking at the moment and I couldn't squeeze more out of it. I have the flu and it really is making my brain go crazy lol. Hope this chapter doesn't feel all too weird to all of you. Thanks so much for the reviews on last chapter; gemus, jirrG, JenRar, story-untold15, TML, jessalynnGSR, sarramaks and Benson14 you rock! You really keep me going on this :) Thank you for that.
I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter as well. Feedback is very much appreciated.
Disclaimer: I do not own them.
They had been talking for a while. He didn't know exactly how long it had been since they'd started conversation. Talking about all kinds of random stuff. Things that had nothing related to the place they were in. Sitting next to each other on the bed against the headboard. Shoulders touching with the both of them wrapped in their own sheet.
He thoroughly enjoyed talking to her. Getting to know more about her personal life. Discovering more than he already knew. Her favorite music and TV-shows when she was a kid. Some of that music he knew and some of the shows he didn´t, those being influenced by the different places she'd lived in. He liked knowing the last movie she'd went to and her take on it, thinking of a different ending. A nicer and better one in her opinion. He'd smiled at the enthusiasm in which she told those stories. In the end actually getting an actual laugh out of him. It´d been a while since someone had made him laugh like this.
They had laughed together.
It'd felt enlightening. Her presence. It made him forget to worry about his home front without feeling guilty about it. Not feeling the emotions linked with their hectic situation, but different emotions taking over his being.
He wouldn't think what he would do if he was in this situation by himself. Probably going crazy after a while. They had to keep each other on their feet mentally and physically to get out of this alright.
Both had been silent now for a moment. The crash and the cold hadn't done their bodies any good. He took a deep breath and a faint pain greeted him. He hissed. Yep, still tender.
He'd seen the damage of the impact on his skin when he'd taken of his shirt earlier. A slightly darker coloring visible where his seatbelt had been. He'd ignored it. The cold from earlier had numbed it a bit, making it easier to push the pain away. Feeling Emily's gaze on his face, Hotch turned his head to look back at her. The gash on her forehead prominently visible against her pale skin.
He was looking at her intently, half expecting Emily to look away. But she didn't. She seemed as concerned about him as he was about her. She'd heard and felt the sharp intake of breath and noticed his discomfort while doing so. Now looking in his eyes to try and figure out how he was coping. Hotch lifted his hand upward after what felt like minutes and broke the silence.
"How's the head?" he said, his hand touching the outlines of the small wound.
She huffed. "Hotch, please don't go there again."
His thumb started caressing her forehead ever so lightly. Not wanting to cause her any pain. "Does it hurt still?"
At his question she felt something snap inside of her. Obviously he wasn't feeling all that well himself and he was asking – again - how she was?! Although she appreciated him showing his concern for her, he'd asked that question one time too many already the past two days. Or.. was it two days? She wasn't sure how long it had been since they'd gotten stuck in this god damn forest.
She felt his hand break the contact it had with her skin. She didn't know how to feel anymore. They were stuck. She didn't like feeling helpless. Waiting had never been her favorite thing. She didn't know how to handle the uncertainty of it all. Not knowing if the rest of the team was okay and if they were going to be alright. She wanted to get the hell out of this place. It felt like she'd lost all control. Having gone through a rollercoaster of emotions in her head she seemed to have gone past the 'cheerful' stage she had been in earlier and has come to a stop near the 'annoyed' platform. Irritation rushing through her being. All of what was going on had had sunk through her nerves, impacting it full force.
"And how are you feeling exactly Hotch?! Don't think I don't know you're hiding your pain. Just because it isn't a very visible scratch on the head doesn't mean I don't know that you are hurting." She wasn't even shocked at the way she spat the words out. "Do not ask me again how I'm feeling. I'll tell you when I'm not alright and I expect you to do the same." There it was. Some form of control in her uncontrolled state. She breathed heavily, pausing for a moment.
Hotch looked at her dumfounded. Not having expected the sudden change in her demeanor. A complete contrast to how they had been talking earlier. Emily Prentiss never lost her way like this, so oblivious to everything around her. All his good intentions had gone right through the roof the moment he'd asked her the question. He'd wanted to make sure she felt alright and also to reassure himself. That was what he'd wanted to do. Not get her pissed off. Obviously he'd made a small misjudgment.
"Emily, I think.."
Interrupting him mid-sentence, Emily continued her rant. Her voice still portraying her unstable, but explosive emotions. "I expect you to do the same, but you never do Hotch. Don't you understand that? You need to express yourself more, but you always hold back so much of yourself."
"Emily.." Hotch tried again. Her hands were putting emphasis on what she was trying to say by making frantic gestures.
"Even more so when you're hurting. I've seen it before, but what good does that do? I don't get it Hotch. I don't. I just want you to.."
Her voice faded when his hands grabbed hold of hers, stilling them in the process. She looked at him directly, an understanding reached between two pairs of eyes. Pot meeting kettle in a way. With a shock she realized her words were true for herself as well. She'd done exactly the same as what she'd accused him of.
Because was she okay right now? Did she tell him she wasn't? No, she'd pushed it all away. Just like what he'd done in this situation. They were alike in so many ways. Holding back, focusing on other things instead. Now it came bubbling to the surface and she was pulling him back in reality as well by losing it like this.
Or had he already been back in reality?
He'd been the one who started opening up to her more lately. He had been openly concerned about her state of health. He'd been showing more of himself to her and she was still letting her bottled up emotions get ahead of her. Running in front of her while she was still more in the past with her head. Sticking with the image she'd had of him before. But he'd changed around her. He had. And she was throwing all this in his face at the moment. Her own words should've been meant for her more than it would've been for him she realized.
The emotional rollercoaster she found herself in moving on again to a new platform.
She started to feel like an idiot.
Especially more so when she felt his arms come around her. Pulling her on his chest and softly whispering reassurances in her ear. Telling her it was okay. That it was all going to be okay.
JJ pulled her blanket a little tighter around her. She couldn't get Henry and Will out of her head. She wanted to hold them close. To feel Henry's little chubby arms around her neck and to kiss his soft, round cheeks. She missed his smell. The sweet smell that all babies seemed to carry around. If there would be a baby-smell perfume she would have long gone bought it. Yeah, she decided that next case she was going to take one of his little shirts with her. His picture was always in her wallet, but a shirt with his smell would be more of a comfort. That way more of her senses would be attuned to him when he wasn't around.
She was sure there was going to be a next case. Even if it felt like they were the case themselves at the moment. Some strange force putting them where they were right now. It had to be for a reason right? JJ didn't believe in coincidents , or accidents for that matter. It all had to be part of a bigger plan.
Her and Garcia had had long talks about that.
Thinking of Penelope she smiled. The colorful analyst, godmother to Henry and one of her best friends.. she missed her cheerfulness. She could certainly need some of that right now. Penelope always cheered her up, no matter how bad she felt.
The woman was probably going crazy with worry right now. The plane had been due to land a long, long time ago. Friday morning 9.15am to be exact. As the teams liaison she always was in on those little details. Her office might be a mess, her mind was always very structured.
Reaching inside her pocket she grabbed her phone. Flipping it open she looked at the small, lit screen. Her stomach warmed at the sight of the family picture she had as a background. The smiling faces of Will, Henry and herself greeting her.
Small white letters told her it was Saturday, 10.04pm. They hadn't even been gone for two days and yet it felt like it had been so much longer.
Holding her phone in her hand, she glanced at Dave and Spencer. Dave had been holding on so well, considering his injury. Painkillers doing wonders. For both him and Reid. She thanked whatever it was that had kept them all alive. The wound on Dave's back had been cleaned the best they could and hadn't been bleeding all that badly. Though he still would need some medical attention.
All of them.. She hoped to God that all of them still were alright. The fact that they still hadn't returned worried her.
Reid's excited voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Guys, do you hear that?!"
The sound of a chopper greeted them.
AN2: I already have some ideas, but as this story is coming more and more to a wrap up (slowly), I'm curious; What is it that you want to see happen next? It would be lovely to read your thoughts!