Disclaimer: All written for fun, I do not own or wish to make money from Harry Potter&etc. JKR deserves every penny!

Rating: Hah, Mature/NC-348579348957MILLION. Smut… and worse.

Authors Notes: I've actually written a ton of chapters for this fic, so if people like it [Reviews? Followers?] Then I'll post the rest up. This IS a Harry/Draco fic, just tak a while to get into things.

Beta: Pfffffft… You'll see by my grammar, would you like t beta for me?

Chapter 1.

Draco stared at the blue eyed mystery in his arms; his entire self rocked with fear. In his hands held pride, held future, held family, but also held another male taking away his happiness.

Rooted to the spot with responsibility, all he could do was fall into those eyes and hope sanity would find its way back to him.

***

Draco had always been spoilt. Lavished with presents; a need never turned down. Best broom, best robes, best books. His mother always brought him home exotic gifts from her travels. His father knowing exactly what Draco needed before he even asked.

Years later Draco would admit that his father chose what was needed, oppose to a father's attentive care.

His mother was never at home. Draco knew he loved his mother; -but she was more of a name, a photo on the mantel, than a figure in the household.

Draco would have said he drew closer to his servants, if his father didn't frown upon it.

His father Draco loved; he admired. Such an elite being, who seemingly floated effortlessly through life. Well versed. Well practiced. Well known. Willing to pass his priceless knowledge onto his only son.

It was the early age of 7 that Lucius moved them to his study for Draco's lessons. When priory then the drawing room or library was used; -filled with lessons such as walking straight, and eating well.

Lessons grew harder, and Lucius grew harsher. Draco found it more and more, increasingly difficult to impress his ever more stringent father.

Desperate to impress, he would spend many hours in his room, practicing what his father had said.

He'd pace for hours, perfecting his walk, determined to have the bellowing grace his father managed. He'd rehearse his words, so when in conversation he'd sound confident, controlled, calculated; -like his father. This normally completely deserted him when actually in his Lucius' company. Nerves and anticipation over throwing his revision in all things Malfoy.

"Draco, you are to always have control of the conversation. Never let another's words unsettle you. No matter what their plight; you are to remain in control."

"Yes sir" Draco knew his father meant anyone but himself. Draco was taught from an early age that crossing his father was not tolerated. In the hours they spent together, Draco hardly spoke at all.

Instead, the majority of the time, Draco sat poised on the immaculate rug. His father's liar, watching Lucius prowl his territory and share his learned manner. Draco had always really known he was the prey.

Aged only 12, Draco returned home from his first year of Hogwarts. Excited with the news of his fruitful studies, Draco descended the steps towards Lucius' study. There had always been a silencing charm on the door; Draco knocked and waited for permission.

"Enter"

The sight that met him shocked the small blonde so much he dropped his books on the mottled marble floor.

"What have I told you about controlling your reactions Draco?"

Draco's eyes were stuck to the half nude girl positioned in front of Lucius' seemingly open robes. The elder Malfoy had his head slightly tipped back and his eyes were more glazed than usual.

Emotion. Emotion and reaction flooded into Draco's head, his mind only just holding reigns on an expressionless face. Disgust? No; his father could never elicit something foul. His father was always right.

Remorse? For his parents relationship? Even at this young age, Draco knew his parents had never really been together. It was all a face; a clever hand in cards. A front that surrounded the Malfoy pride.

Jealousy? ...Jealousy ripped through Draco's flesh; he hated the girl. Not because of her position, -Draco felt no need to know what lay below his father's robes, but her closeness to Lucius; to be allowed to touch him at all. Entrusted with the one moment he did not have complete control of his surroundings.

****

The incident didn't last very long, due to Draco's normally white complexion turning rouge red; and him turning tail out of the study and up towards his own chamber.

When safely behind his own door, Draco punched himself.

"Stupid." Punch. "Stupid." Punch. "Stupid -OW" Staring at the angry purple bruises that had quickly occurred. The blonde hesitantly healed them with a covering spell, wouldn't do for the heir of Malfoy to mark himself! Before sinking to the floor cradling his head.

Those caustic mixtures of emotions still bled through him. Angry at himself for having such little control upon his reactions. Scared of the realization that had hit him in the study; but most of all saddened. Saddened for knowing he wanted something he could never have.

****

Draco feared his father's reaction, and so stayed in his room, composing himself for what was to come, until a house elf finally called him to dinner. With his mother once again away, it was just the two of them. Lucius looked serene, controlled, blank; as he always did. It was only when Draco noticed his placed at the table had been moved down did he realize his fathers distaste in his actions at all.

A small punishment for some, but this was a hard blow for Draco. Lucius had taken away his approval of his son. Lessened his respect, and demoted him. Draco chewed his lip, and took his seat in a way that he hoped was graceful; determined to regain Lucius praise as soon as possible.

The table held little conversation, Lucius did enquire to how Draco's grades faired. Allowing the younger Malfoy to impress his father with high scores throughout his subjects. Only dropping a few marks in charms. Lucius did seem to spend more time talking about those lost marks compared to the impressive other subjects, but Draco put those thoughts to a side as he tried to concentrate on his father's words.

****

That night Draco started instantly on his studies, charms would not get the best of him again. Thinking back to the incident in the study, Draco hoped he wouldn't have to worry about his emotions overcoming him as well.

Lucius still sat in his study, twirled his hair between his fingers; -a habit he resisted unless alone. He had plans to test his son's control; all Malfoy's should always have control.