'Alo! tikinottyki here! Well, I was going through all my stories and realized how crappy of a speller I am, so I went through and edited everything so that they would make sense! Yay! So, here's my D-Gray Man story, REVAMPED!

"Oi, are you even listening? Lavi, wake up!"

I was startled awake by Lenalee lightly tapping a rolled up newspaper against my forehead. My one visible eye opened rather lazily and scanned over to look to my friend. "Huh?"

Lenalee narrowed her dark eyes. "You know better than to fall asleep in a meeting," she scolded lightly.

Raising my head off my arm, I looked around to see the other Exorcists seated quietly, all gazing to the front. Apparently, Komui was giving a big speech much ado about nothing… again. "Is this really necessary? He's telling us the same load of crap over and over again," I stated groggily as I sat up straight.

My friend shook her head. "I know, but it's better to endure rather than sleep and miss something important."

"… I'd rather sleep…"

Looking over to my left, I saw Allen sitting back in his chair with arms crossed and chin resting on his chest; he was fast asleep. "Psst, why do you shake me awake and not Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes over there? He's sleeping like a log!" I asked with a scowl.

"He at least looks like he's concentrating and not slumping out of his chair," was the reply.

"That's a load of b.s."

"Lavi!"

All eyes turned to me as Komui's voice went quiet. The man himself was glaring at me from behind his glasses, a look we all knew too well. "You aren't flirting with my precious Lenalee, are you?" Komui asked.

My brow furrowed. "What? Man, you've gotta be on something to even ask me that!" I retaliated.

"Answer. The. Question."

"No."

Komui's brow cocked. "No, you're not going to answer the question?"

"No, I'm not flirting with Lenalee."

"So, you're avoiding the second question?"

"Who the hell said I was avoiding it?!"

"You never answered."

"Hell yeah, I did!"

Komui snickered as he lowered his head. "Lavi-san, don't make me get the new model out here…" he warned in a low tone.

I blinked in confusion. "New… model?"

"Another one of his machines he's been working on to help us out in the lab," a scientist whispered lightly. "The director completed it last week."

Grinning back to the elder Lee, I patted my Innocence, a small hammer strapped to my leg. "That ain't much of a threat, Komui-san," I said with a smirk.

An eyebrow twitched as the man on stage grinned widely. "Then let the games begin." From within his coat pocket, he pulled out a remote control with a single red button. "Go! Kom-guh!"

"Nii-san, now is not the time for this!" I heard Lenalee yell; I didn't even notice that she had jumped from her seat and delivered her brother a swift kick to the face.

"L-lenaaleeeeee..." the director whined while picking himself up off the floor.

And that was how my day pretty much started. Komui never stopped breathing down my neck since then, and half the day had gone by already. Whenever I was with Lenalee (even with Allen, Krowry, or Kanda with us) he would glare at me with cold eyes. It was almost as if he was up to something... something to make me regret Lenalee and the thought of ever flirting with her again.

It was about two when I received the message to report to Komui. I looked up to Krowry with half a sandwich in my mouth. "Does he really need me now? I just sat down to eat," I complained.

Krowry shrugged, saying, "He didn't say much... something about another mission."

With a sigh, I pushed away my full plate of food and stood. "Fine... what could that bastard want now?" I muttered as I prepared to leave the cafeteria.

"Lavi."

I turned to see Krowry grimace. "Wha?"

"Be careful. The director had an evil grin as I walked out," my vampire friend warned.

"It's fine; what could that wimp of a guy possible do to me?"

Still, I kept Krowry's words in the back of my mind. Passing by the many labs and offices, hallways and dorm lounges, I got to Komui's mess of an office; the pile of papers seemed to be piling up rather than going down. The man himself was seated at his desk, his hands folded neatly before his face.

"You wanted to see me, Komui-san?"

"Actually, yes," was the reply. "Despite the humiliation you bestowed upon me at the meeting earlier, I decided to assign you an important mission. A large amount of akuma seem to have congregated over a certain region in Ireland."

I shrugged. "Do you think they just wanted to go to the Saint Patty's Parade and get cold drunk?" I asked sarcastically.

A pen flew by my head, sticking into the wall. "Sarcasm won't get you anywhere!" Komui fumed.

I let out a sigh, rolling my eyes and thrusting my hands behind my head. "So, will I have a partner or what?"

"You're not going with Lenalee!!"

My eyes widened. "I never suggested that in the first place!"

With a malicious smile spreading on his face, Komui tapped his forehead and said, "You were thinkin' it."

A soft voice interrupted the beginning of a possibly deadly argument, causing both me and Komui to turn our heads. "Ano... Komui-san, are you sure this is really okay?"

Standing at the doorway was the most adorable, cutest girl I had ever seen. She wore black boots with a sharp heel laced up to mid-calf, and the black and white Lolita dress she wore made her look like a little princess. Long, wavy white hair had been pulled up into pigtails and wide blue eyes stared back at us.

"Here's your partner," I heard the director say behind me, a hint of humor in his voice. ""I'm sure you two will get along quite well."

Wait, so I was going on a mission with her? The cutest girl I had EVER seen in my life?! This was like a dream come true!

"STRIKE!"

The girl's eyes widened. "L-lavi! No, don't!" she yelled.

I picked her up around the waist and twirled her around several times, hearts in my eyes and love on the brain. "You're my new partner?! I can't believe this! You're really cute, you know that? Hey, during the mission, wanna go grab dinner or something? You are old enough to drink, right?"

"Lavi! Put me down; it's me!"

Pausing to set her down, I stared hard into her face. "I don't know you, but the makeup must be in the way," I said after a while.

"It's me, Lavi. Allen."

Then she wiped off the makeup over her left eye, revealing the red scar and pentagram. I stood speechless for a long while, stuck in an awkward silence. "A-ALLEN?!?! What the hell are you doing in a dress?! I thought you were a girl!!" I shouted.

"It was the director's idea! He said I needed to go under cover or something! I didn't want to wear this thing, but he was going to black mail me if I didn't!" Allen shouted back hysterically.

I glared at Komui, who let out an uproarious laugh. "But Allen-kun, you look so cute in that! Maybe you should cross-play more often," the director said.

"Hell no I won't!" Allen objected while he attempted to yank the extensions from his natural hair. "These... did you super glue these on?!"

Roughly taking the director by his collar, I said, "I don't know what you're getting at, but it sure as hell ain't funny."

Komui grinned. "It's funny for me, but a punishment for the both of you."

Allen and I went silent, our faces both blank with confusion. "Punishment?" Allen repeated.

The director nodded. "That's right. Punishment for you falling asleep during my speech, and you for flirting with Lenalee in my presence," he replied.

My grip tightened around his collar. "So that's what this prank is about?! You made Allen get all dolled up in a dress so I'd go for him instead of Lenalee! Director, you're sick!" I yelled in his face.

Komui sighed innocently. "Well, be glad it's Allen-kun. I had originally asked Kanda-kun, but, well, things didn't go so well..."

(Flash back, about three hours ago during Lunch Break)

"Kanda-kun! Would you be a dear and do a favor for your lovely director?"

Kanda looked up from his meal, glaring at Komui. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me 'Kanda-kun'?"

Komui bounced back and forth on his feet, unable to contain his excitement. "I need your help in punishing Lavi," he said enthusiastically.

The teenager furrowed his brow. "How so?" he asked cautiously.

With a wide grin, Komui pulled a black and white fringe Lolita dress from behind his back. "You wear this!"

"I refuse."

"Wha-? Come on, I need your help here!"

"Ask that beansprout Walker; there's no way in hell I'm wearing that thing."

"But Kanda-kun, you're the only one that already looks like a girl!"

Kanda froze, his icy glare fixed on the director; his hand rested on the hilt of his katana, Mugen. "You call me 'Kanda-kun' or refer to me as a girl again, I'll make sure your pathetic self is erased from the face of the earth. Got it?"

(Present time)

"Kanda-kun is so scary!" Komui whined as he slunk against his desk and shook his head back and forth.

Allen wrinkled his brow and puckered out his bottom lip. "You asked... Kanda?"

"Why the hell would you do that? That's just... awkward," I said. The images that ran through my mind sent chills down my spine. They were horrifying.

The director's terrified stance changed as he stood up straighter and chuckled. "I had the science team design the dress; unless you know the password, the dress itself won't come off."

I raised my brow. "Huh? How did they manage to do that?"

Komui shrugged. "I don't know, but they did. So either you go on the mission with it on and then come back to have it removed, or you can remove it now; however, your uniform has been confiscated and locked away."

Allen sighed. "So it's either wear the dress or nothing at all?"

"Precisely."

I nudged Allen in the side, saying, "Hey, at least you look somewhat cute this way... as awkward as it is."

"Lavi, you're not helping me any."

Komui waved his hand at us, beckoning for us to leave. "Now, go on! There's a mission for you to go on. Oh, Allen, before I forget, you need this as well." Here, he handed Allen a blue and white umbrella; frilly laces lined the rim and a few small bows decorated the top.

Allen's face contorted in embarrassment and disgust. "What?! What the hell are you trying to do to me?!"

"All or nothing, Allen. All or nothing."

"... fine," Allen grumbled as he snatched the umbrella from the director. "Let's go, Lavi."

I followed an annoyed Allen from the office and down the hall. Anyone we passed by stared blankly at us, whispering amongst themselves. At one point, we passed Lenalee as she made her way to the dining hall for dinner. She blinked twice at the sight of me and Allen. "Allen-kun, is that you?" she asked.

"Don't ask," Allen replied in return.

"Your brother is punishing us for falling asleep at the meeting. He's having Allen cross dress while trying to turn me gay," I said in Allen's stead.

Lenalee sighed and shook her head. "Nii-san," she muttered. Then she noticed Allen's heeled boots. "Allen! How are you able to walk in those things? I couldn't wear those!"

I looked down to Allen's feet and nearly hacked up a lung. "Jeeze, Allen, those are frickin' five inches! How are you managing?"

"I'm not," my friend replied. "I already sprained my ankle and have a blister coming up on my heel. I had to push in wooden supports to keep my ankles from wobbling."

Leaning down, I whispered, "Even with three inch heels, I'm still taller than you."

I watched out of the corner of my eye Lenalee biting her bottom lip. "Allen, just be careful, okay? Now that you look like a girl, you'll have so many creepers try to come at you. And with those heels, you won't be able to run away. Trust me with this, okay?"

Allen smiled weakly. "Don't worry. I'll be fine," he said reassuringly.

I looked to the clock hanging on the wall ahead of us and sighed. "Come on, Princess. We have a mission to do and we won't be able to get you out of that thing until we complete it," I stated as I took hold of his arm and pulled him away.

"Lavi, slow down! I can't keep up! LAVI!"