A/N (and disclaimer): Inspired by (aka ripped off from) South Park and APHell part 4 on Youtube. Neither is property of me! Axis Powers Hetalia is not mine either!!
Kids These Days
The new fourth grade teacher shuffled a stack of papers before arranging them neatly back on his desk. He sighed contentedly, gazing at the walls covered with his students' artwork. Such talent. Such life! Yes, Francis decided he made a very good teacher, even if he was only a long-term substitute.
"Um, Mr. Francis?" The Frenchman turned to the front door at the small voice. Alfred Jones stood half-hidden in the doorway, inching his way inside. He looked embarrassed, shuffling his feet awkwardly. "Can I talk to you?"
Francis smiled easily. "Of course, Alfred. Please come in," he said, gesturing to a nearby fourth-grader-sized chair. Alfred opted for the adult's chair in front of Francis's desk instead. He swung his legs lightly, picking at imaginary dirt on his pant leg before he looked up at Francis.
"So, I've noticed you've taken a liking to my boyfriend, Arthur," he said, quiet but straightforward. Alfred refused to look away, but also looked a bit worried.
"Oh," Francis began, fighting the urge to laugh. The boy was worried for his friendship. How sweet! "Well, I've taken a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and full of life!" The teacher smiled widely, sure he'd solved the problem.
Alfred ducked his head and was silent for a moment, then met Francis's eye again. "Can I tell you something, Mr. Francis?"
"Of course, Alfred," Francis answered easily.
The blonde boy took a deep breath, closed his eyes, then opened them in a startlingly harsh bright blue glare. "Don't. Fuck with me."
Francis dropped his smile quickly. "…what?"
"You heard me," Alfred said, fists forming. "Stay away from my man, bitch! Or I'll whoop your little ass back to last year!" The fourth grader had raised his voice to a yell, and was leaning forward for emphasis. Despite himself, Francis actually found he was actually a little afraid of the nine-year-old.
After what appeared to be an attempt to set Francis on fire through pure will, Alfred seemed to relax, sitting back in the chair, then hopping off of it and running to the door. As he ran back to the playground (and Arthur), the boy shouted a cheerful, "Bye Mr. Francis!"
Um...reviews please and thank you? I'm not even gonna try to explain my rationale. Just...yeah.