Epilogue

His whole body throbbed with pain. Rodney couldn't be sure how long he languished in it until he realized he still had a body to be hurt. The pain he felt was only an echo of the agony he had known while being fed upon.

He was still alive.

His mate's face floated above him.

"I cannot," stated Todd simply. His voice sounded tired, resigned.

Rodney glanced down to see a thin trickle of blood run down from where the Wraith had removed his hand.

It had felt like an eternity, but the feeding had only lasted a few seconds.

Rodney stared up, seeing nothing, fighting both the urge to cringe away from his mate, and the urge to cling to him.

"Will you forgive me if I let you go back?"

Shivering, Rodney tried to keep himself as still as possible. The fear was catching up to him.

"No," he replied. Never. Not in a million years. I'll never forgive you for this.

The Wraith sighed. "Fair enough," he said and lifted himself up off the bed.

Rodney closed his eyes and waited, trembling, while Todd dressed himself. He could feel wave after wave of belated fear washing over him. When he finally heard the footsteps leaving the room, his muscles were hot and sore from the effort of trying to stay perfectly still.

He rolled over onto his side, drew himself inwards as tightly as he could, and, for the first time, let himself break utterly.

~~*~~

One Day Later

~~*~~

Jennifer was wearing perfume, and Rodney thought he was going to die.

Perfume! Real perfume! On a woman! A human woman! He leaned in, unable to help himself.

"So then I parked the dart and took off into the woods—nice perfume, by the way—and by the time they found the dart, I'd already reached the gate." He was babbling, and he just couldn't stop. He felt delirious and was sure he looked delirious as well. The uniform he wore, the one in which he'd been captured, hung off of him in rags, and he squinted constantly because all of the lights were much too bright for his eyes. And he was happy. So happy he thought he might start singing or dancing, or hugging everyone. It was only with effort that he restrained himself to grinning maniacally.

Since his story more or less jived with what SGC already knew, he was spared the indignity of full quarantine but was nonetheless the subject of a very thorough examination. The difference was that Dr. Keller didn't have to wear a hazmat suit, and he got the pleasure of smelling her perfume. Strangely enough, it made him hungry.

"Is there any chance I could get something to eat?" he asked of one of the nurses.

"Sounds like the McKay I know," said Ronon as he came into the room with Teyla and John.

Teyla's smile was warm and welcoming. God, he'd forgotten how beautiful she was. Ronon's eyes twinkled with joy, his face expressing everything that his words wouldn't. John was smiling as well, but in a reserved, concerned way that Rodney still found touching. Rodney couldn't remember the last time he'd seen three smiles in a room. In a way, they were almost brighter to him than the sunlight streaming in from the window and just as hard to adjust to.

He felt his own grin falter, ever so slightly.

"Well, preliminary scans all check out. You're neither replicator nor clone, and it doesn't look like you've been contaminated with any kind of virus or implanted with any devices. Other than that feeding mark, you have trace damage from cracked ribs and a broken arm that didn't quite set evenly, as well as a slight vitamin deficiency, but you're definitely the same old McKay you were two years ago," said Dr. Keller, to John as much as to Rodney. Instantly, John's expression changed to one of pure relief and joy. Rodney almost had to avert his eyes. He started babbling again to compensate.

"Yeah, the ribs are from my first escape attempt, the arm was my second, but for the third, all I got was this." Rodney raised his arm and pointed to his elbow, which bore a band-aid over a small scratch that he'd acquired while being accompanied through the woods towards the nearest stargate. "Not bad, eh?"

"That's great, Rodney," replied John, although it was obvious that hearing about his injuries had bothered him. Rodney wondered if people had always been so easy to read.

With Jennifer now out of range, and his hand so close to his face, Rodney suddenly caught a whiff of himself. He'd washed with the last of his soap before he left, but he could still smell something strong and musky. Bringing his arm up, he took another sniff.

"God, I smell like a Wraith," he mused. Not just any Wraith. He smelled like the Wraith. The one who'd escorted him to the stargate which would take him to New Athos and who had watched impassively from the controls while his human 'mate' approached the gate. The one Rodney had looked back to, before he stepped through, and whose face had been anything but impassive at that moment, just before Rodney left him for good.

Rodney wondered why he'd never noticed that smell before. He resisted the urge, just barely, to sniff again, deeply, and he became aware that his smile had now completely faded. Looking up to his friends, he saw their concerned glances at one another. He knew he wasn't at all the 'same old McKay,' and that it was possible he never would be. He hoped with all of his heart that they would understand.

Then Teyla stepped forward and put her arms around him.

"It is good to have you back, Rodney," she said, while her arms still encircled and warmed him.

Looking up, Rodney saw John and Ronon, concerned and a little sad, but joyful nonetheless. Rodney closed his eyes to bask in the three of them.

"It's good to be back," replied Rodney. "So, so good. Everything's going to be okay now."

He desperately wished it were true, but it wasn't. He was far too broken for that.

~~*~~

End of Part 1

~~*~~

Author's note: Well there it is. Please let me know if you enjoyed this story, and what you enjoyed about it. This is a really niche pairing, so any comments are appreciated.

I'm planning a follow up story, but unfortunately I won't have time to write it for a few months. Your patience is, as always, appreciated.

I'd like to thank my lovely and talented betareaders: Agata, Tallycola, and Venculus and Enodemon. I needed *so* much prodding and hand-holding through this story, and without their help I probably wouldn't have finished. I am eternally in their debt.