Chapter Twenty-One

The hospital felt painfully sterile.

The walls pressed in around him, making his eyes bleed dangerous red. Rin and Kisekimaru were asleep on either side of him, worn at the long day it had turned out to be. He sought out the clock, almost growling when he realized hardly more than five minutes had passed since he had last check it. It was nearing midnight, and Kagura still hadn't come out of surgery.

One of the surgeons had come, only an hour after she had been rushed into surgery, to warily tell him that had he brought her only a few minutes later, there likely wouldn't have been anything they would have been able to do. He had stood, silently berating himself, before nodding to the doctor and returning to his worried children. He had gotten them the moment he had been able to do so.

Kisekimaru had been checked over, but had been found to simply be exhausted from the whole ordeal. He had been released into Sesshomaru's care with the instructions that he receive rest and comfort for the next few weeks as he dealt with what happened to him. Rin had simply been relieved to have her brother back and to learn that they were working on making Miss Kagura better.

With a growling sigh, Sesshomaru fought down the urge to prowl through the corridors of until he found Kagura. His beast was discontent with the situation, but he kept it firmly caged. It was the thing's own fault that they were in the situation they were. To soothe them both, he pulled Kisekimaru closer and took a deep breath.

Kagura's clean scent of a crisp wind immediately reached his nose, twined so closely with his own scent that it was hard to remember that she was simply the bearer of his heir and nothing more. His beast rumbled its discontent with this notion, but he once more paid it no heed. He could do nothing until it was determined whether or not Kagura would survive the numerous surgeries she would need to continue living.

A small part of him longed to return to his home, his office, to retrieve Tenseiga from its place of decoration. He hadn't needed to use it in centuries. Another part of him tried to reassure that doing so wouldn't be necessary. All of him just wanted Kagura to return to him and his pup alive.

"You must be Sesshomaru." The voice startled him, causing his grip on his children to tighten and his lips to lift a bit in warning. His red tinged eyes looked up at who had spoken.

At first glance, Sesshomaru thought it to be a woman, dressed in somewhat more traditional garb than was normally seen. His nose quickly corrected him, alerting him to the fact that it was a male demon that stood before him, and a fairly strong one at that.

"And who are you?" He all but growled. It was to his chagrin that the lightly painted lips of the demon quirked up in amusement.

"Nintai Jakotsu." He said, nodding.

"One of Kagura's friends." Sesshomaru muttered, watching as the smile on the man's face grew and he nodded again. "How do you know who I am?" The demon laughed, a high, flute-like sound that wasn't overly unpleasant.

"For one, you have Kisekimaru snuggled up to you." He explained, taking steps towards them. "For another, he's the spitting image of you, and Kagura's always lamented that. It helps that you're also a famous business tycoon." Jakotsu's smile was teasing as he took a seat on the other side of Kisekimaru. Sesshomaru couldn't help the strangled growl that escaped when the man reached out to pet Kisekumaru's silvery hair. Jakotsu just laughed.

"Relax," He soothed, continuing the motion. "I've known that child all his life; this helps when he's stressed." He gestured down to Kisekimaru's sleeping form, and, Sesshomaru was reluctant to admit, his body was more relaxed than it had been before. No part of him wanted to acknowledge that this man, this stranger to him, knew more about his pup than he did. Part of the bitterness he had felt towards Kagura returned.

"Don't make that face." Jakotsu chided, making Sesshomaru immediately blank his features as best he could with his bitter beast closer to the surface than he would like. "You not knowing Kisekimaru is as much your own fault as it is Kagura's. I never approved of her hiding him from you, but obviously her fears that you would snatch him away were well founded." There was a note of anger and scolding in the other demon's voice and Sesshomaru almost couldn't believe the audacity and impudence he was being shown.

While humans may not have known and recognized the hierarchy of demons, he knew that all demons in Japan were well aware of and adhered to it just as they had in the days of old. That this lesser demon dared chide him at all was preposterous.

"What are you doing here?" He finally ground out, knowing that Kagura would not be expressly pleased with him were he to injure one of her admittedly few friends.

"My Bankotsu is still in the hospital and I've bullied my way into staying with him." He admitted freely. "I could sense when you showed up with Kagura though; I've always been able to know when she was close by." This perplexed Sesshomaru a bit, but he brushed it off as unimportant. He recognized that Kagura would be more comfortable knowing that her friends were nearby during her recovery.

The pair of them sat in silence, Sesshomaru still intermittently watching the clock. He tried to ignore the way Jakotsu had kept running his hand through Kisekimaru's hair, but it was difficult when it was the movement in the room beyond his children's breathing. Still, he kept his mouth shut.

It was closer to one in the morning when a doctor strolled into the room. Sesshomaru immediately sat at attention, noticing vaguely that Jakotsu mirrored his movement. The doctor quickly made his way towards them.

"She's done with her operations." He said once he was close, causing relief to rush through Sesshomaru. "Right now, she'll be up in the private room. We don't expect her to wake up any time soon, considering the amount of shock her body had been in, but she should be awake before this time next week." Those words brought some of the stress back into his bones, but he was still glad that she was alive at all.

"When can others visit her?" Jakotsu asked, drawing away the doctor's immediate attention. Sesshomaru was tempted to bar him from the room, but refrained.

"Normal visiting hours I suppose." The doctor replied, his eyes drifting over to Sesshomaru for confirmation. He grudgingly nodded his head, once more recognizing that Kagura wouldn't appreciate him keeping out some of her only friends.

"Then I'll be there in the morning." Jakotsu replied cheerfully, before rising to his feet once again. "I suppose we'll be seeing much more of each other then, Sesshomaru." He waved with a smile and a wink before retreating out of the waiting room. Sesshomaru just barely managed to keep from growling at him as he walked away.

"Thank you for your update." He ground out after a few more moments of quiet. The doctor nodded, before bowing and making his excuses to leave. Sesshomaru paid them little attention as he turned his gaze down to the two children sleeping on either side of him.

After a long moment of thought, he decided on letting them sleep. Instead, he shifted them so he could carry them both before striding out of the waiting room to the room he had settled for Kagura. While they would be asleep, he knew the two of them would want to be close to her when they woke up and realized that she was still alive.

If he admitted quietly to himself that he wanted to see for himself she was still alive, no one else had to know.

This darkness was one she knew. She knew it almost intimately. The gusts of wind buffeted against her, but she could feel no harm or malevolent intent. It was soothing, and she let herself drift in the darkness that was so comforting.

On a distant level, she knew what the darkness meant. She was hurt, badly so. The injury had been enough to cause her to retreat into the core of herself in hopes of dying without pain.

When she had been young and reckless, fights with Naraku had often put her into this state. She had learned to respect her father, just as he learned to respect her the same way.

A small memory from before the darkness came back, fighting against her father. The sensation of the defeat and desperation tinged the memory, and she wondered if she was truly only steps away from her death. She couldn't really remember why she had been fighting with him, only that she had. Part of her scoffed, berating her for her foolishness. Naraku had always been stronger than her; she knew she was only fighting to put off her defeat.

From far above her, Kagura noticed a throb. Her distant thoughts and feelings suddenly seemed closer. Looking up, she saw something in the far darkness. Over the sounds of the howling winds, she could hear something, something that didn't belong in the darkness.

Her curiosity was piqued. Usually she was abruptly pulled from the dark, with no warning or preparation. This was out of place, an anomaly. She floated up towards it, her control unmatched within the core of her being. As she went, she didn't notice the pain that was building the closer she got.

At the edge of the curiosity that had inserted itself into her darkness, Kagura examined it as best she could with her mind so distant. The prickle of pain asserted itself, but she paid it little heed. She was much more focused on figuring out what had shown up in her demonic core. As she studied the strange and dark shape, the noises she had heard down below came through much louder.

She blinked when the voice of a child, obviously near to tears, sliced through the darkness and her distant apathy.

All at once, the darkness exploded into light, sound, sensation.

Everything seemed to overwhelm her all at once. Her body hummed and screamed with pain, certain parts crying out louder than the others. The heart wrenching sound of her baby, her Kisekimaru, crying made her heart ache more than anything else. Through the pain, she worked to pry open her eyes. When she succeeded, more stinging pain was her reward, and she snapped her eyes shut with a hiss.

Suddenly the crying sound stopped, and only an insistent and steady beeping could be heard. She was vaguely curious as to what had caused the sudden cease in sound. It was a few moments later that her mind caught up with her and informed her of her ascent into awareness.

"K-Kisekimaru…" She croaked, the words rasping painfully against her throat. Though her eyes were still closed, the half swallowed sob that answered her told her exactly where her baby was. "Come h-here." She forced out despite the pain. Immediately, she felt pressure against the right side of her body, making a spike of agony wash through her. The familiar feel of her baby pressed against her was more than enough to let her ignore it.

"Ama, Ama." He choked out through sobbing gasps. "Ama, Ama, Ama…" It was a mantra, and it soothed Kagura's soul and hurts like no medicine ever could. She clutched him as close as she could, not caring a whit for the pain or the tears she felt welling up behind her closed lids. Even as they spilled out across her cheeks, she couldn't bring herself to care. Her baby was back, safe in her arms, and that meant all was right in her world.

"Kagura." And just like that, her perfect world shattered. The cold voice of Sesshomaru thrust into the forefront of her mind the contract she had signed, the obligations she was bound by, and the way her baby wasn't her own anymore. It pushed the tears out faster, made her clutch Kisekimaru to her body harder. Her thoughts raced, desperately trying to find a way to deny the memories that were staring her in the face.

"My baby, you're all right." She whispered, treasuring the feel of her baby's silken hair against her cheek and lips. The sensation made a giddy sort of warmth spread through her, invigorating her limbs just a little bit more so she could hold him just a little bit closer. "You're safe now, no one will take you, ever again." The last words were muttered out of spite, knowing that Sesshomaru would be able to hear them. She wanted to put up some resistance, even as she knew Sesshomaru would once again secret her baby away from her.

"Finally awake Kagura?" The familiar voice of Jakotsu broke through Kisekimaru's chanting. She forced her eyes open and could see his familiar if blurry figure standing at the door.

"Yup." She rasped, squinting when the lights became too much for her handle with her eyes wide. She saw him move and the lights dimmed a bit, much to her relief.

"Really Sesshomaru." The man chided as he approached her bedside. "You could have turned the lights dimmer yourself when you noticed it was hurting her eyes." She resisted the urge to smirk at the familiar and welcome snark of her best friend. The dimmer room allowed her vision to clear, and she could see all those that occupied her room with her.

Rin sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs against the wall, the bright look on her face belied by the redness of her eyes and nose. Kisekimaru was pressed tightly up to her, thankfully within the circle of her arms one more. Jakotsu had approached to settle himself on her bed, perched as daintily as he ever was by her side. He smiled kindly down at her, hand reaching to smooth her hair.

The low growl of Sesshomaru paused his hand and drew her attention to him. He stood imperiously before the window, midday sun lighting parts of his figure. His eyes, normally a calm gold, were flushed with red and narrowed in warning. For a moment, she was confused at the aggressive and angry posture.

"Calm down." Jakotsu said flippantly, his hand continuing its path to card through her hair. "I'm not invading on your territory or whatever it is your beast is telling you I'm doing." There was a note of smugness and teasing that drew a pained smile from Kagura, knowing that he was riling Sesshomaru up on her behalf. She pushed her head into his fingers as much as she could, aiding his rebellion.

"How is Bankotsu?" She questioned after a few minutes of tense silence. Jakotsu pulled his eyes from his staring contest with Sesshomaru to smile down at her.

"He's pissed as hell." He said brightly. "He can't believe that you went to face Naraku, by yourself, without telling anyone where you were going. He's also torn between wringing your neck himself and locking you in the apartment and throwing away the key." Kagura huffed in nervous laughter, unsure if he was teasing or telling the truth. With Bankotsu and Jakotsu, she could never really tell.

"I'll have to make it up to him with extra shifts." She replied, putting up another smile just for him. Jakotsu nodded and pulled his hand from her hair, standing.

"Now, as I understand it," He began, gently grasping Kisekimaru's clinging limbs, "You and Sesshomaru have some things to talk about, and the kiddies need some lunch." Kagura cringed, clutching at her son as he tried to pull him away. Jakotsu sent her a hard glare, and she reluctantly loosened her grip on her precious baby.

"Only for lunch?" She muttered. When he nodded, she finally let her fingers go. Kisekimaru's ruby eyes bored into her as he was gently drawn away, and she squeezed his hand comfortingly. "Only for lunch." She promised, smiling at him. He searched her face for a long moment before he too let go and allowed Jakotsu to spirit him to Rin and out the door.

She couldn't take her eyes off them until they disappeared out the door and out of her sight. The moment he was gone, she felt the hole in her chest that had been filled suddenly empty once more. She tried to ignore it, but she the only other thing she could focus on was the awkward tension between her and Sesshomaru.

"Kagura. We do need to talk." For a moment, she thought about refusing to look at him, refusing even acknowledge he was in the room, but she knew that she had to keep him happy, if only to keep the contract the same.

"I don't see what about." She murmured, letting her gaze slide over to him. The red had receded from his eyes somewhat, but she tried not to cringe at the remaining color. It couldn't bode well for her.

"We need to discuss the contract." There was no stopping the flinch at his words. The sinking feeling in her chest made her feel hollow.

"Do what you want." She said, bringing a shaking hand to her forehead. Even though the movement was more tiring than it was worth, she kept it there, not wanting to look him in the eyes. "I know that, especially after this, you probably think I'm not fit to take care of him. Hell, I could hardly take care of myself." Her words were bitter and laden with self-loathing, but she couldn't bring herself to care anymore.

She knew, she just knew that Sesshomaru would find another reason to keep her baby from her. Even though he had been surprisingly tolerant of her inability to recollect during the investigation, he had never been one to tolerate failure. And, in the end, she had failed.

Sure, she had managed to free Kisekimaru from the clutches of her father, but she had done so at what would have been the cost of her life if Sesshomaru hadn't intervened. Hell, if she hadn't been able to reach Sesshomaru by phone, it was likely she would have gotten Kisekimaru recaptured and killed after she was killed herself. The loathing she felt towards herself was, she was sure, nothing compared to what Sesshomaru had to be feeling towards her.

What else would explain the way his eyes were still bled red?

The sheer defeat in her posture almost staggered him.

In all his memories, she had always been fiery and lively, even when he had oppressed her with the damned contract. Even beaten, bloodied, and bruised at Himura Estate, she hadn't given off such a sense of weariness as she was now. His beast growled, wanting to rid the emotion from her even though it knew he was the cause.

"I don't think that." He managed to force out, though the words had a rough edge to them that, he was dismayed to see, caused another flinch. For a moment, he worried that even his desire to bring her into Kisekimaru's life once more wouldn't be enough to make amends for what he had put her through. Despite that fear, he pressed on and tried to soften his next words. "I was going to offer something else." A small part of him was still afraid to make his new proposal, not wanting to seem weak or in the wrong. He was Sesshomaru; he was always right!

"Like what?" One dull ruby eye peaked out from under her hand, and a pang went through his heart. He hated to see her so weak before him. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he had to shove them out against most of nature.

"I would like you to live with me and take care of both Rin and Kisekimaru." He managed to say, words still slightly rough but definitely better than before. As he looked into her eye, it was a punch in the gut to see the pain there.

"Very funny." She spat, hardly any venom in the words. "What do you really want?" Sesshomaru shook his head, taking steps towards her bed. The wariness and mistrust stung him, but he knew he deserved it with all the things he had done to her in the course of the acquaintance.

"That is what I really want." He whispered once he was stood by her side. His gaze drifted from her own at his next statement. "I was… wrong to take Kisekimaru from you as I did. I know now how you felt when he was gone." He didn't want to see how she took his admission, and so let his eyes focus on the clean white of her bed sheets.

The silence between them was thick, and he was almost tempted to start fidgeting in an attempt to distract himself from it. The decision was out of his hands, even if he knew Kagura would want to be near Kisekimaru. If she asked to see Kisekimaru but not be near him, Sesshomaru knew he would bend to whatever she wanted. It was the least he could do as reparation for the harm he had done.

Seeing his pup sobbing over the unconscious form of his mother had made him realize that Kagura wasn't the only one he had hurt when he had separated mother and son.

"You're not just saying this?" She said after a long silence. His gaze darted to her own of its own volition, desperate to see the ruby he was so fascinated with. It was shining with a small and wary hope. "Truly, you want me to help raise them both?" The trembling note of fragility made his hands and heart clench with guilt, but he nodded.

"Truly." For endless moments, she just looked him in the eyes. He felt like she was pinning down every part of him and casting judgement, but all he could do was stand before it with no defense beyond his past actions.

After God knew how long, he was beyond relieved to see her face gentle in a weak and watery smile. The hand that been squeezing and constricting his heart suddenly let go as he saw her answer in her eyes before she even spoke a word.

"Of course I will." She murmured, but he was almost too overjoyed to care that she verbally acquiesced. He could feel the redness receding from his eyes, all tension and worry draining from his body in a crushing wave.

"Good." Was the only thing he could think to say. Kagura gave him a tired but warm smile before a yawn split her face. "You should rest more. You need it." She nodded sleepily, settling deeper into her covers.

"Wake me when Kisekimaru gets back." She whispered as she drifted into an exhausted sleep. He couldn't help himself as he memorized the expression of serenity on her face.

"I will."

A/N- And we're done guys. Holy crap. I can't believe I actually finished this. First ever finished story and over 50k! Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with me through the long dry spells. Thanks especially to those who continued to review, despite my erratic updating over the years. It was so encouraging to see that people were still waiting for an update and that got me through a lot of blocks. I know this ending seems really shit, and there was supposed to be a sequel, but that will never happen now. I am not as in love with Kagura and Sesshomaru as I was when I first started this. A lot of things I had set up to be resolved in the sequel will stay unresolved because it won't happy. I'm sorry about that, but I don't want to put you guys through another round of update and wait years like I did with this.

Thanks and much love, TheQuietMachine.