Acknowledgments: I would like to thank everyone who has read this story. It brought tears to my eyes when I looked at the reviews from my first chapter over 2 years ago and saw that some of you reviewed then and are still reviewing now.

I would also like to thank everyone who sent me well wishing messages. I am better, but still not up to par.

Finally I'd like to thank my Beta Sassyvampmama who gave a whole new meaning to The Flaky Tart. This story would have been shit without her.

Recap: Eric proposed through a cryptogram and cartoon in the morning paper. Sookie went off on a tangent saying she smelt bad!

The Sockless Monster

My life had changed so quickly since I met Eric. I felt like I had literally gone through a tornado as he swept me off my feet. So when Eric asked me the question, the question that every girl wishes to get asked, I couldn't help but feel that it was only a dream.

My whole life people had called me crazy, made fun of me, and asked me out on dates just to stand me up. Even into adulthood, at my former job working at Merlotte's Bar and Grill people would call me names behind my back, spill things for me to clean up, and treat me with the utmost disrespect.

By the time I walked into the door at Hooligans my self-esteem was at an all-time low; in fact, I didn't have any left. But the people there, those that I worked with anyways, didn't see me as crazy or find ways to put me down; no, they saw me as beautiful not only on the outside, but on the inside where it mattered to me the most. They invited me into their circle, even asked me to go shopping and have lunch with them on my very first day. Granted I never thought an outing with Lafayette and Claudine would include bikini waxing and dildos, but it was the thought that counted.

Then there was Eric, the arrogant ass who had a body that other men would die to have. I was sure that some even brought pictures of him to their plastic surgeon's just to copy his majestic physique. I still couldn't believe that out of the myriads of women throwing themselves at his feet, he chose me. He was my Prince Charming, but instead of riding a white horse, he swept me away on his motorcycle.

Eric was my fairytale and the question that he asked nudged me, nothing more than a modern day Cinderella, that it was time to wake up. But as I looked down at him on bended knee in front of me wearing such a hopeful expression, my own eyes streaked with tears, my fairy godmother didn't grant me my dress along with my final wish.

Wasn't Cinderella in a fine ball gown when Prince Charming asked for her hand?

I looked down at myself, angered at my disheveled and dirty appearance, and I felt like Crazy Sookie once more. Why would Eric want me? He was pristine and his golden locks shone with luster in the morning light. Was this a joke? Was Aston Kutcher going to jump out of the bushes and tell me that I had just been Punked?

I blurted the first thing that came to mind as I continued to sob into his arms, "I didn't shower this morning and I must smell…really bad."

Instead of waking up to the sound of the wicked step mother cackling over my eminent failures, two strong arms encompassed my entire body and lifted me off of my seat. These arms coddled me as I sobbed, holding me close and comforting me just like the soothing waves of the sea.

I felt like I was floating aimlessly as I wallowed in self-pity, begging my mind to wake up so that I could face reality head on. The sensation of rushing water filled my senses, like a cascade of waterfalls and I felt my clothing tumble away as I was lowered into what felt like hot springs surrounded by a thick forest.

"Sookie," I unconsciously looked around as I thought I heard my name rustling through the trees. The hot water pacified my aching muscles and thoroughly cleansed the dirt off my soul. The trees grew more adamant in their insistence as they almost angrily bellowed my name.

"Yes," I answered with my eyes impassive, determined to not anger the gods of the hot springs.

"Should I call a doctor?" The trees asked as they dribbled water onto my face. The leaves brushed against my skin, touching and roving about, testing my faculties in a purely innocenr way.

What a funny thing for a tree to ask, I thought to myself, and just as I was about to take a dive under the water, strong branches lifted me up. The water swiveled and sloshed defiantly as the branch pinned me down.

"Sookie, you are scaring me," the nearest tree stated, as I felt a warm, but most welcoming brush against my lips. The salty, but yet sweet taste was very familiar as I indulged myself greedily in what those lips had to offer. My hands claimed its torso, strong and solid, not at all coarse like the other trees in the forest.

Those wandering branches gripped more like hands than twigs, but it was the sweet words that it whispered, "I love you my beautiful Sookie," that caused me to pause and open my eyes for the first time. Two beautiful Ceylon orbs, as deep as the bluest waters, gazed back at me full of questions.

But, I had one of my own. "Is this a dream? Are you a dream?"

"Does this feel like a dream?" he questioned, right before he softly brought his lips to mine. The kiss was gentle, but full of expressed want as he licked my bottom lip languidly before pulling back.

"No, and I don't want it to be. But, it's hard for me to believe that you would pick me. Why…why did you choose me?" I asked meekly, almost afraid of his answer.

"I feel in love with you, Sookie. I am captivated by the depths of your honesty. I cherish the fact that you say what you think; your quick wit and intelligence enamors me. I treasure your fierce loyalty; you melt my cold heart with your smile. I fancy how genuine you are with Sophie. I venerate your pure heart that makes you shine brighter than everyone else around you. Not to mention that I adore how absolutely beautiful you are and that you don't even realize it. There was never a choice Sookie, there was only you."

"So this is all real; I didn't imagine you proposing to me downstairs."

He smiled widely as his hand grasped his pants pocket. Pulling out the ring, he offered it to me…again. "Sookie, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

This time I threw my arms around him, sloshing the water to and fro and screaming, 'Yes' as I kissed every inch of his face. Then, I made up for lost time and showed him how much I loved him, over and over again.

As we lazily lay in bed, I twirled the ring upon my finger. It was a beautiful Ceylon Sapphire that distinctly matched the color of Eric's eyes, set in white gold. The round center sapphire seemed to make its home smothered in an array of diamonds that went all the way around the band, signifying eternity. It was perfect and nestled right against my finger like it belonged there always and forever.

"So…" Eric began as he clutched me closer and nuzzled my hair, "What kind of a wedding do you want?"

"Something small. My guest list basically is my Gran, my friend Tara, my brother, and everyone at Hooligans. I don't really have anyone else that I am close too."

"So do you think that three weeks is enough time for us to plan everything out for our wedding?" he asked with the innocence of an angel, complete with the gleaming halo.

I took a deep breath and prepared what I was going to say mentally because what I really wanted to ask was, 'Are you fucking crazy?', but instead of saying something defensive, I tried using logic. "Eric, I practically went into anaphylactic shock when you asked me to marry you, what do you think getting ready for a wedding in three weeks is going to do to me? Have you seen the show Bridezilla? Those brides have nothing on Sookiezilla if you give me so little time to put a wedding together. Why three weeks Eric; why not three months?"

He took my left hand in his and kissed it, before saying, "Sookie, my motives are purely selfish. When the club opens in a month's time, I want to introduce you as my wife, and not just as my fiancé. Please do not feel that you are alone in planning this wedding, I will be here to help you every step of the way."

His little speech completely deflated my puffed up sails and I found myself agreeing to his get married quick scheme.

'What was Gran going to have to say about this?', I had to ask myself.

When I finally emerged from the bedroom for the second time that morning, I sought out my phone because the one thing Eric's proposal surely did was ignite the gossip grapevine. As I turned my phone on, I saw that I had thirteen messages and twenty-seven text messages. Without even going through any of the texts or messages, I called Gran.

"Hey Gran?" I asked more in a nervous question, afraid of what she'd think of the news.

"Sweet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, he finally got around to asking you. Praise the Lord Jesus," Gran said, shocking me. I could picture Gran singing Hallelujah with zest in her voice this coming Sunday from the way she sounded.

"What do you mean finally Gran?"

"He asked me quite a few months back, told me of his intentions. Said he needed to get a few things together before he asked ya', but wanted my permission just the same."

"He asked you Gran?" I could feel the tears prickling me eyes over the weight of his thoughtfulness and consideration for southern tradition.

"He most certain did. I'm happy for you baby. So when will the big day be?"

After a deep breath I mumbled, "Three weeks," and was met with a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.

"Did you just say three weeks?"

"Yes, ma'am," I confirmed as I wait for the onset of reprimands that would undoubtedly spin in my direction. Good thing we were on the phone so she couldn't slap the wits back into me.

But instead of reading me the riot act she asked, "Why so soon?"

"Eric's club opens in a month and he wants to introduce me as his wife."

"Well it's 'bout time he makes an honest woman of ya. Do you know how hard it is to make excuses to Maxine on why you weren't at the house this morning? At least once you're married I won't have to make any more excuses for all that fornicatin' y'all have been doing. Where is he? Let me talk to him?"

Beet red, I handed the phone to Eric as I shuddered, thinking of all the things that Gran had said. I felt openly exposed, mortified, and the wedding couldn't come soon enough as I thought about my Gran's view of us fornicating and God's eyes as they descended down upon us, taking in our unholy acts.

Eric's end of the conversation was mostly quiet except for a few 'yes ma'am's'. As I continued chewing on my dwindling fingernails, I was pretty sure that Gran was giving Eric the third…maybe even the fourth or fifth degree. I didn't like that he was taking the brunt of whatever earth shattering force Gran was dishing out, but at the same time I was quite relieved that I wasn't at the receiving end of her wrath. Even though my conversation had gone well I knew that Eric was getting a stern lecture with his limited end of the conversation.

Finally he handed the phone back to me whispering that Gran wished to say goodbye. I was expecting a lecture all of my own from Gran when I took the phone from him, but she surprised me.

"Sookie, I just wanted to tell you how very proud I am of you. If your daddy could see you now he'd be pleased as punch and probably would be quite taken with Eric. I'll talk to you soon baby." As I hung up the phone I felt my traitor tears well up in my eyes and as I told Eric what Gran had said, he held me tightly against his side.

Two Weeks Later

The last couple of weeks had been a sudden whirlwind of activity that I could barely keep up with. True to his word, Eric helped me with every grueling detail for the wedding, even going so far as taking me dress shopping and having a say in what flowers he preferred for my bouquet. I was grateful for the help, but I wasn't about to forego all tradition, so I asked for his opinion and behind closed doors, far away from the eyes of the groom, I chose my dress.

It was the first time in my life that I didn't give a rat's ass what the people in Bon Temps thought of me. I spoke to Gran first about my desire because even though I didn't care about my reputation, I did care about Gran's. I could almost hear the words that would be said about my choice from the God fearing citizens; words like ill-repute, harlot and whore were just a few.

But Gran took one look at my dress and turned to me with a devilish smile, and said, "Let's give 'em something to talk about," and that Bonnie Raitt song became our anthem for the entire wedding affair. Hell, I was already a harlot for 'living in sin', something everyone else was doing behind closed doors, why not own the title?

It seemed like everyone wanted to get their hands dirty metaphorically speaking. The first decision that Eric and I made as a couple was where to hold the blessed event. As a child I could only imagine getting married in Gran's backyard as the babbling brook cast a serenely peaceful setting, but over the past year my views had changed; I had changed. I no longer held tightly to my visions of the past, but grasped tightly to the man who held my future. My place was with my husband-to-be and my new sister, Sophie, in Shreveport.

Once Eric and I had discussed the location and determined that his backyard was the place both of us wanted to start our lives together, everything else fell into place. Shockingly, Claude and Claudine were proud owners of a huge white reception tent; did they hold strip-a-thons in their backyard? We graciously accepted the offering, but had no desire to find out why they had such a thing in their possession.

The biggest quandary was who would marry us. Eric wasn't very religious in the Christian way and I couldn't see myself getting married in the Bon Temps Methodist Church and neither one of us wanted a courthouse wedding. It was Hoyt that approached us with a viable solution. He had earned his officiate license on-line from the Church of the Loving Spirit so he could be available for services to the gay and lesbian community; though those marriages weren't recognized by the state of Louisiana as legal, the marriages were legal to the couples. So, Hoyt asked if he could perform our marriage ceremony, his first legal one, and Eric and I gladly accepted.

A week and a half before D-day, Eric let Sophie stay home from school because we needed her expert advice; we had to find a caterer. Sophie was the perfect taste tester for everything Eric hated, so we decided that we would mix the two, having healthy choices and some foods that were a little more indulgent.

Gran wanted to come along for the tasting, so we picked her up (not quite) on the way, but it was a chance for her to spend some more time with us. I knew she felt like she was losing me, and no matter how many Monday night dinners and weekday visits I promised, she was right. She would be alone. Eric was gracious enough to ask her to move in with us, but she said that 'we needed all the nekkid time we could get'. I think she shocked the pants off Eric, but me, I was laughing my ass off.

Gran loved doting on Sophie and turned into quite the kid herself while she was in the backseat with her.

After about a half hour of driving Eric pulled into our first stop.

"The name of this place is 'Bad Dog Bakery'? Do they make dog biscuits or cater?" Eric asked me with an eyebrow quirked.

"Honey, this is last minute. I only have a few places that were willing to put anything together for us," I whined, hoping that he'd see the seriousness of the problem.

No food, plus unhappy guests, equals Eric on the couch because it was his harebrained idea that we get married in three weeks.

"Anything like Kibble and Bits," Eric mumbled under his breath as he stepped out of the car. I pretended not to listen to his negativity and took a deep breath; hoping positive energy would flow through my lungs.

Think positive thoughts.

"They should get a 'Beware of Dog' sign if they have a bad dog," Gran mused as she got out of the car.

"I think that is the 'Beware of Dog' sign Gran," Sophie stated pointing to the name of the catering company. "I wonder if their breath is as bad as a dogs?"

"I guess we'll see dear. Though that would be something awful, wouldn't it?" Gran answered Sophie back.

Eric, on the other hand, was trying to choke back his laughter as steam rose from my head. I was getting angrier by the second. Eric finally lost it when Sophie said something about 'wondering if they made cat treats' and I slapped him in the stomach as I shoved myself forward and into the bakery. If I was the only one who could be serious for even a moment, then I would go in alone.

Walking into a bakery I expected a whiff of home baked goods; the sweet cinnamony smell of sticky buns, roasted almonds as they were rolled into a flaky bear claw, the soothing aroma of raspberries as they were baked into a mouthwatering tart, or the rich scent of chocolate and cream as they sat between layers of cake to create the most delicious tiramisu. But as I walked in, I had to slightly prop the door open with my foot because the smell was very musty and if I was being truly honest, smelt like sewage. My sleeve instinctively covered my nose as I turned myself around and walked right on out.

No wonder they were available for next week, I thought to myself.

Eric, Gran, and Sophie followed my lead and got right back in the car, thankfully not saying a word.

It wasn't until we were driving away that Sophie asked, "Aunt Sookie, what was wrong with that place?"

"They only made dog biscuits honey," I replied knowing it was a lie, but could not bring myself to admit the truth. It was right at that moment that we passed a road crew who were busy cleaning up a giant cesspool that completely covered the backyard of the bakery. The orange signs plastered all over the road stated 'Sewage Cleanup', and it took all my willpower that I had at that moment to not lose everything in my stomach.

It was Sophie's words that got me to laugh, "Dog biscuits, that's discriminatory against cats," and once I started, I couldn't stop until the tears rolled down my face.

Ten minutes later Eric pulled into our second address.

"This cannot be it," I asked, completely horrified.

"What's 'Poppin' Cherries' mean Aunt Sookie?" Sophie asked innocently.

Eric was howling with laughter and I just couldn't help myself and joined in. If you can't beat 'em….

Through his laughing spurts, he asked, "Where…did you get these… addresses from?"

"From…Lafayette," I answered and as I said his name really slowly everything sort of kicked into place. He had been pestering me about catering for the wedding and I hadn't wanted him too. I wanted him to enjoy the day as an invited guest. Apparently he had sent me on a wild goose chase to all the worst caterer's in town in the hopes that I would crawl back to him on my hands and knees.

Eric surprised me by saying, "I'm going in."

"Me too," Sophie yelled.

"Sophie, why don't you let Eric and I check it out first and if it's any good, we'll come get you," I answered trying to reason with her.

"But, I want to see them pop cherries," she whined.

"Sophie you will stay here with Gran, and like your aunt said, if there is anything to sample I will come get you," Eric sternly spoke, reiterating basically what I just said.

It took all I had not to break out in a fit of laughter when Eric was trying to be serious with Sophie just after her comment. Who the hell names their bakery 'Poppin' Cherries' anyway?

Gran stayed quiet the entire time until I heard her say something to Sophie about playing a word game, completely taking her mind off, at least for the moment, the idea of cherries poppin'.

The windows were blocked out with curtains and as Eric and I drew closer I couldn't help but notice the curtains; they alternated, one panel was of delightful little happy cherries, and the next panel was a part of the male antimony standing at attention complete with swollen crowned jewels.

"Are those supposed to be dicks?" Eric asked, mostly to himself as he pointed to the curtains.

I couldn't stop my erupting giggle, "I believe so honey."

"The proportion is all wrong," Eric said with the most serious face followed by a deeply disturbing shudder.

I let out a shrill of laughter as I pulled him into the bakery.

There was no one manning the front register so Eric and I had a few minutes to check the place out ourselves. I was totally stunned as I looked at each pastry dish displayed under the glass cabinet. Everything looked utterly…obscene.

The Danishes, labeled The Honey Pot, were in the shape of thighs entering the promised land, topped off with a swirling cream, smothered with a hacked cherry in the center.

The puddings and Jell-Os, otherwise known as Warm and Fuzzy, were in these long containers reminding me of a Viking Longboat with just a bit of cream at the tip, er, top.

They had canoles called Longhorns with a bit of cream bursting out of one end.

The macaroons were labeled Hot and Crusty, topped with a very popped cherry oozing over the top.

Old Faithful was in the shape of a chocolate log cake as geyser like cream squirted over the entire top.

They even had chocolate covered bananas with edible colored condoms called Throb Knobs, and the little caption under the tasty treat said: warning- is not suitable for protective purposes.

Ya' think! Last time I checked confectionary sugar couldn't morph into latex! Maybe if it was cumfectionary sugar…

Bet it would be sweet to lick off!

Finally my favorite, The Dangle Parade; it had two cupcakes frosted blue which meshed together and a long piece of cake that mounted from above coated in a pinkish frosting, tipped off with cream. The rendition had nothing on the real thing, but it didn't stop me from wondering if I could eat the cock in one bite.

"Sookie, look at this! I think we found our wedding cake," Eric stated drawing me out of my pornographic thoughts of licking the cream slowly off the tip.

He was on the other side of the room looking at another display case. I walked inertly, taking one calculated step at a time. His enthusiasm had to be a joke, right? What wedding cake could possibly be found in an obscene bakery?

"Look Sook," Eric stated while pointing. And at first I didn't have any idea what I was looking at; it was an elongated oval and the top was arranged were beautiful cherry flowers. Then, the answer hit my brain like a giant mushroom cloud.

I placed my hand upon his chest and explained, "Eric, as much as I love worshiping your GP, don't you think that this will raise a few questions for Sophie- questions that I don't believe you are ready to answer."

"You love worshiping my Gracious Plenty?" Eric repeated, like that was the only thing he heard from my little speech.

"I feel empowered knowing that I can make you writhe beneath me with only my mouth," I whispered longingly into his ear as he softly moaned. "The quicker we leave, the sooner we'll be home," I encouraged, pulling on his sleeve.

"What about the cake?" he asked in almost a dreamlike state, probably imagining all the wicked things I could do to him with just a swirl of my tongue.

"Unless you know a girl who goes by the name of kjwrit and she can bring some 'confetti' to the party, than the answer is 'not for the wedding'."

"So it isn't a no," Eric guessed as we exited the bakery.

I kept silent with a slight smile upon my face and as soon as we got in the car I planned on texting Pam.

I let Eric fend off Sophie's questions when we got into the car. He then asked for the next address and being the smart person I was…duped me once shame on you, duped me twice shame on me. I brought up Google on my oh-so-smartphone and typed in the reverse address. The phone number immediately popped up for a bakery in Monroe named The Flaky Tart.

"Oh hell no!" I shouted out loud, earning a swift hit on the back of my head from Gran.

"Sookie, watch your language!" Gran said reprimanding me.

"Eric we aren't going to the next location on this horrible list. I can only imagine what we'll find at The Flaky Tart."

Gran started laughing from the backseat and I couldn't help but wonder if she had been involved in this wild goose chase that Lafayette planned.

Eric took charge with his commandingly strong voice, causing my panties to dampen, and suggested that we regroup by going out for an early dinner. I loved it when he had a plan and loved it even more when he pretended to have a plan. It reminded me of the first night I saw him on stage doing very unholy things to the American Flag. It wasn't just his chiseled body that drew me to want to lick his glistening flesh, but it was that sexy commanding expression that nothing in the world could best him. Now we were a team and it was the two of us together that would best the world.

Saturday was officially my last night of working at Hooligans and as I got up on stage for the last time it was a bittersweet goodbye. Hooligans was the place that I found myself. I realized that I had never really needed to reinvent myself, I just needed to find my way. Hooligans was where I made my first real friends; in fact, I had found my best friend Lafayette. It was also where I had met a fabulous group of girls that accepted me for who I was. It was also a place that had not only led me down a path to find my own way, but it led me straight into the waiting arms of my soul mate.

So as I danced proudly before the crowd with my Eric watching from the sidelines I genuinely smiled, showing the audience my inner spirit and how really happy and content I felt.

With promises to return and free door passes for life, Eric and I left that night solemnly. It was what we wanted as we began our new life, but we knew that we'd never find friends like the ones we had just left behind.

Monday night, one week until the wedding, Pam, Claudine, Amelia, Holly, and of course Lafayette all arrived at Gran's house (I had to start thinking of it that way) to escort me to my bachelorette party. Pam had traded in 1967 Periwinkle Dodge Charger, just for the night, for a Silver Dodge Caravan. We all piled in, and because it was my night, I rode shotgun.

"Sookie, I made you a wedding CD," Holly stated reaching over the seats to pop it in the player.

"Who the fuck knows where that has been? You can't just shove that thing in my player!" Pam shrieked.

"That's because ya' head is so far up ya' ass, there'd be no room," Lafayette sassed back and Holly pushed in the CD.

"I don't want to hear that fucking sappy shit," Pam mumbled under her breath.

I fly with the stars in the skies,

I am no longer trying to survive.

I believe that life is a prize,

But to live doesn't mean you're alive.

I knew this was one of Holly's favorite songs to dance to, but I had never really listened to the words. And as we all sang to the chorus to Nicki Minaj's Moment 4 Life tears welled in my eyes as I thought about some of the lyrics. 'Cause everybody dies, but not everybody lives, played over and over in my mind.

How many women truly found the one that they were meant to be with? I had listened to my Gran's friends' stories about 'the one that got away', but how many people chased after that one in the name of love? How many people in the world could truly say they found their other half?

For the moment I chose not to get too weepy and have a great time with my friends, but it was something that I was thankful for; I was thankful that God thought enough of me to bless me with Eric.

It wasn't long before I noticed that the road looked awfully familiar.

"Are we going to Hooligans?" I asked.

"Hookah, we's thought it would be fun to do a two-fer-one," Lafayette piped up from the back.

"You mean the guys will be there?" I asked, but what I really thought was, you mean Eric will be there?

"Yes sweetums, your Swedish thoroughbred will be dangling his thang for you," Lafayette confirmed.

I wonder if Captain Hard would give me a private viewing of his cocked and loaded bazooka shooter.

Just thinking of his carnal member had my lady bits practicing an Irish jig.

It wasn't too long before we were rolling into Hooligans, and since it was closed on Monday, we all had the place to ourselves. The guys were already there as I saw multiple vehicles in the parking lot, including Eric's.

I guess the guys were too cool to carpool!

Us girls walked into Hooligans together as the blaring music assaulted our senses.

I swear I won't tease you,

Won't tell you no lies.

I don't need no bible,

Just look in my eyes.

I've waited so long baby,

Out in the cold.

I can't take much more,

I'm losing control.

I want your sex,

I want your love,

I want your…sex.

I couldn't figure out what was the most shocking part; the black flowing silk sheets that looked like fluid rain as it cascaded down from the ceiling; the boys dancing on stage dressing as George Michael complete with the cross jewelry and pleather hat; or the fact that Eric, Claude, Rasul, and Hoyt were all wearing inflatable hoses over their slongs that looked more like an elephant's trunk rather that an exaggerated rendition of the real thing.

Where were those bright orange works signs; Dangling Free Zone!

I preferred his beast hoseless!

The sockless monster!

Where was that cumfetti?

With each thrust of his hip I could almost feel his monster awaken between my thighs. Unconsciously I felt myself rocking back and forth on my heels to the same beat of his hips. I shook myself a bit because the last thing I wanted to do was show everyone that I actually was a wanton slut and orgasm just at the thought of my man naked.

It was about that moment that I set my purse down on a nearby table and noticed for the first time that Pam came through for me with a giant size cake of Eric's GP. My eyes traveled to the other dessert on the table and it took a minute with me twisting my head to either side to determine what it was; I was staring at a vagina complete with a shiny pearl and drizzled icing which dripped down the center of the parted lips.

When I first started at Hooligans cakes like these would've had my virgin eyes cower in embarrassment, but now I could look at them and laugh like they were a fun piece of abstract art.

My mirth filled eyes scanned for Eric just as he turned around and faced me with his award winning butt. Unconsciously I licked my lips and my feet moved without my knowledge, wanting to claim what was almost officially mine. After tonight no one would ever see his naked ass in any capacity except for me.

Swaggering up on stage like I owned the place, I swayed my hips with extra oomph as I homed in on my prey. Eric faced forward as he pumped his hips in my direction and I angled myself facing him as I took his inflated trunk, riding it between my legs. Eric gripped my hips, compelling me forward as we found an oscillating rhythm sending shockwaves through our bodies like we created one electrically charged current.

My lips brushed his in a vibrant tango as I lost myself in his taste, touch, and scent; the audience seemingly disappeared completely as we lost ourselves in that moment. A few hoots and hollers returned me to the here and now as I gracefully swung my body around to face the audience. Eric never once let up on the grip he held as my frame molded to his body, causing my chest to protrude out quite provocatively. Tangling my fingers in his hair I brought his lips to my neck as I swung his 'trunk' around between my legs.

After the song I gave all the stage men a hug, but saved my most welcoming thanks for Eric as I laid another kiss upon his lips. I trotted down off the platform as the guys went to put some clothes on.

Eric and I had our own cakes to cut; I chose the traditional way with a knife and spatula as I cut a piece of the GP replica; Eric on the other hand decided to deflower his cake by licking the drizzle between the folds as he maintained eyes contact with me. My eyes never left his as his gaze fell upon me filled with lust and promises of what was to come. My thighs squeezed together automatically as I felt that familiar ache and the wetness that pooled, dampening my already soaked panties.

I tried to get out of opening my gifts but apparently my friends were dead set on embarrassing me tonight and insisted. What did one get when all your friends were strippers?

Edible underwear - from Claudine

Raspberry sex-wax- from Rasul

Porn (a whole DVD collection)- from Hoyt (I wasn't sure if that was appropriate from a guy who was officiating our wedding.)

Flavored condoms- from Claude

A Glow in the dark vibrator- from Lafayette

Costumes which I really didn't look at - from Claudine, Pam, and Holly

Finally I received this strange curved shaped object that looked like a broken purple pretzel called a We Vibe and had absolutely no idea what it was. Amelia assured me that when I read the directions I was going to love it.

So I said goodbye to my friends for the second time in the last three days. This time wasn't so emotional because I had already resolved in my mind that Eric and I weren't going to be working there anymore. The next time I would see them all would be at my wedding in exactly one weeks time. We packed up the rest of the cake and the gifts, placing everything in Eric's car.

I took one last look at the building and the scribbled Hooligans sign with a heavy heart before I got into Eric's car and we left for the night, but hopefully not for the last time.

It was the day of the wedding and I awoke to my Gran playing Going to the Chapel in my ear. The last week had flown by as I made final wedding preparations and moved all my things into Eric's home. We hadn't seen much of each other because he was down at the club getting ready for the opening that was going to happen Friday.

I opened my eyes to see the smile upon my Gran's face. "Today's the big day!" she stated with excitement. I knew Gran had longed to see this day, hoping that I would find my own happiness.

"It's a relief Gran. I'm glad that we didn't have much of an engagement because I don't think I could have taken this wedding stuff for a prolonged period of time."

"So you slap him, and then kiss him," Gran said with a wicked wink.

"Absolutely," I answered as I rolled out of bed and followed the sweet aroma of the most wonderful smell in the world- morning coffee.

Claudine came over after breakfast to work on my hair and makeup. With Claudine's flare for being fashionably late and her outlandish fashion sense I was surprised that Eric asked her to help get me to the wedding on time. Pam had also arrived simultaneously with Claudine to pick up Gran and the trays of food that she had prepared. After they left Claudine brought all her 'essentials' into the house to get me ready.

Claudine had more makeup than Mary Kay. It fact she probably had more makeup than all the Mary Kay reps in the world combined. Apparently eye shadow isn't applied anymore, but layered to create a smoky effect. Did you know that red lipstick helps to cover blemishes? I wasn't sure if she was creating a clown or a bride with all the different shades she pulled out of her magic carpet bag.

How many hairbrushes does a person need for their hair? My guess would have been one, but Claudine believed that you needed six; one each for curling, straightening, shinning, volumizing, flattening, and one for tangles. That didn't even include her selection of combs. My hair was teased, gelled and sprayed to death. I probably could trap a rabbit with how stiff my hair was, either that or kill it from all the toxic fumes.

After about two hours of primping (I wasn't sure I had any hair left), Claudine deemed me dress worthy. My white satin dress was strapless with red roses wrapping around the bodice which circled all the way to the floor in a vine-like pattern. It was elegant and simple. To add a bit of a daring flare I had added red satin opened toed heels that complemented the dress perfectly.

"It's time," Claudine stated almost with reverence as she turned the full length mirror towards me. I barely even recognized the image of the radiant beauty before me. My skin naturally shined and my eyes sparkled in delight. The dress fit me perfectly like it was made specifically for just me. For the first time in my life I felt like I was beautiful and that I was finally worthy of my prince.

My eyes drifted to a high school picture that sat on Gran's coffee table. Looking at that shy, terrified girl in the photo I barely recognized her as me.

Claudine escorted me to the waiting limo and helped me get situated with my dress before she climbed in herself. She immediately took the bottle of chilled champagne and poured each of us a glass after she popped the top.

She handed me my flute and toasted, "To you and Eric, I hope that you've found your happily ever after."

I thanked her and lifted my own flute, "To friendship, I hope that you and my other newly found friends remain close." We clinked our glasses and took a sip.

Claudine had managed her part and got me to Eric's house on time. I was ushered into the living room to wait where my maiden of honor, Lafayette, greeted me.

"Hookah, you look like a finely twisted candy cane," Lafayette stated as he air kissed both my checks not wanting to screw up my makeup. He looked fine dressed in a black and red kilt-like skirt combined with a red button down silk shirt. I had never seen him so dressed up and knew that when I had given him free rein over his attire that he wouldn't do me wrong.

"You look scrumptious yourself," I commented to show my approval.

Gran came bustling into the room and exclaiming, "My Sookie, you look wonderful!" She had tears prickling her eyes and I knew that if her dam broke than my floodgates would surely break free as well. She seemed to sense this and pulled herself together. "I have something for you my dear. This can be your something old," she said, unsuccessfully trying to hide her sniffles.

She handed me a very old keepsake box and as I cracked the lid I saw a beautiful strand of pearls. "I wore these when I got married. They were given to me by my mother who wore them at her wedding. Now I give them to you so you can wear them on your special day." I hugged my Gran tightly to me as I graciously accepted her gift. Turning around and bending slightly downward she clasped them around my neck.

"Thank you Gran…I never thought…it's beautiful," I babbled trying to remain tear free. It was a good thing that Claudine used waterproof makeup on me.

Pam, Eric's best man, came in a moment later dressed in a spiffy white suit, a red silk shirt, and a white fedora. All she needed was the cane and she would look like a 1920's gangster. She handed me a box and said, "This is your something new from Eric. I believe it is tradition for the bride and groom to exchange a gift before the wedding."

I nodded in agreement to her and retrieved Eric's gift from my purse. We exchanged boxes and I asked, "Please make sure he gets it? He'll understand." I had bought him a pair of cufflinks that were engraved with a key because I wanted Eric to have the key to my heart.

Pam flicked her wrist towards Eric's gift and I opened it. Gran was beaming with pride as I pulled out pearl earrings that closely matched the necklace Gran gave to me.

"Tell him I said thank you and that I love them," I told Pam as I gave her a hug.

"One more thing, I have something you can borrow to complete your look," Pam stated as she pulled out a long bracelet box from inside her pants pocket. Opening the box I saw the most beautiful white gold floral ruby bracelet. The delicate gold between each flower almost looked like vines as they threaded into the next flower. She helped attach it to my wrist and before I could even offer up my thanks she said, "Just make sure I get it back," and walked out the door.

Claudine came in with the finishing touch; a teal blue garter for my thigh and I was finally ready to make the trip down the aisle as the Wedding March began.

Gran walked me down the aisle. I wouldn't have had it any other way and as she handed me off to Eric I felt a swell of emotion in my chest. I kissed my Gran, looked into the eyes of Eric and then down to Sophie, my flower girl, and knew that my life was complete.

No one else but Eric and I could find love under a fairy tent, married by a bisexual stripper turned priest, and feed our guests leftover cake in the shape a cock.

Just as the sun fell below the horizon we had completed our vows and became one as we shared our first kiss as husband and wife.

We had been married five days and we hadn't even been able to take a minute for ourselves. The opening was tonight, but I felt like it was more of a coming out party, like our first public introduction as husband and wife.

The doors were set to open at nine and Eric had put me in charge of managing the employees. Since I seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to people, he had me involved in the hiring, actually he stayed way in the background until the end of the interview. How the new employees acted around my husband was a big factor; I didn't want a skank throwing herself at his feet for attention.

Pam had agreed to stay on at Hooligans for her Saturday night appearances until they could find a suitable replacement. She had invested in the bar so Eric could get it up and running quicker; no one would be more loyal than Pam.

She gathered the new employees around for a pre-opening pep talk. "I'm not going to hold your hand and tell you how great this night is going to be. It will be hard work and probably very stressful. Customers come first; make them happy. Happy customers lead to returning customers. Any problems get brought to Sookie or I; do not bother Eric. He has enough on his plate tonight to make sure everything runs smoothly. Good luck and I hope you last the night," Pam ended with a hand gesture dismissing the crowd.

"Very…inspirational," I stated wearily.

"Yes well, I didn't want to give the minions any false hope," she answered with a purse of her lips.

"I think you achieved that goal. Are you ready for tonight?" I asked her, but more out of my own nervousness.

"The question is Sookie, are you? You braved Hooligans; you can do this," she said with conviction as she patted my arm and took off to see what else needed to be done. I felt that her statement encompassed more than just tonight.

I looked out into the bar, The Silver Bullet, and saw all the twinkling lights that Eric had installed high in the rafters. They looked like tiny diamonds that sparkled down upon us, almost blessing us.

When the doors opened we had a larger crowd than we had expected. Maybe discounted booze and a waved cover accounted for most of that, but as I watched my new husband mingle with the crowd introducing himself, I knew that it was him that drew the crowd.

It was just about midnight when I found him; he took my hand and led me onto the raised dais. Taking the microphone he announced, "I'm so glad that you all could make it out tonight. I am Eric Northman and this is my beautiful wife Sookie. My business partner Pam is out there somewhere. I just want to say enjoy the drinks, party hard, have a good night, and be safe. We hope to see you many more nights to come."

Eric never let go of my hand as the music started up and we left the platform. He led me straight back into his office and shut the door behind us. Capturing my lips with his, our tongues danced in celebration. He breathed into my ear, "Now everyone knows you're mine."

The shock of his words sent my body ablaze as he pulled me tighter to his side holding me close. We stood there holding one another until I tilted my head so I could look into his eyes.

"You are mine, Eric Northman, just as I am yours," I whispered as my lips found his once again.

The End

ANNOUNCEMENTS: If you haven't already please check out my Citrus Contest Entry, Semi Sweet Morsel, and if you think it is Vote worthy please vote for me here: http : / www . fan fiction . net /~ thecitrustreecontest2011# (remove spaces)

The link is also on my profile. Voting ends the 23rd so please vote soon.

This story has come to a bittersweet end. You may ask what is next for me? I have a fic that I've been working on for the past year called, Oh Captain. I will have a regular weekly posting schedule and hope to post every Friday. Please look for that.

I also have a Christmas Story coming up that I plan to post on Black Friday.

Where can I be found? You can find me every Thursday night in the fang readers chat room at 9pm EST hosting the Night Owls. If you are not a member please contact Fairy Blood at:

http : /fangreaders . blogspot . com/ to become a member. This Thursday evening we are chatting about Fortunes, Ghosts, and the Paranormal. Hope to see you soon!