"I've decided not to come looking for you again."

"Thank you for giving me a chance to try my best."

"If I hear from Jan Di, I'll let you know."

To say that So Yi Jeong was stunned was an understatement. He was rendered speechless.

"What the heck just happened?!" that was all he could think about as he watched Ga Eul walk away from him. As the girl disappeared from view, Yi Jeong seemed to have woken up from his trance. He felt the urge to run after Ga Eul but hesitated, didn't she just tell him that she wouldn't be looking for him anymore?

Still in a daze, Yi Jeong drove back to his studio; his sanctuary. It was where he could do things peacefully; his pottery and his thinking. Boy did he have a lot of things to think about. Plus he still needs to process what had just happened a while ago.

Had Ga Eul just tell him she would never seek him out anymore? Had she already given up on him? She just interrupted him and never gave him the chance to argue. He wasn't even able to say what he wanted to say! What was it he was about to tell her? Yi Jeong wasn't sure. All he knew was that they had to talk, they needed to talk.

Yi Jeong has been sitting on his work bench for a long time, staring blankly ahead. Still thinking of Ga Eul and what had transpired. With an exasperated sigh, he stood up and decided to set it aside. Maybe after a good night's sleep, he might actually understand everything.

**********

It's been two days since that incident with Ga Eul but Yi Jeong still wasn't able to find an answer. He would be sitting in his studio or the F4 lounge for hours. A frown or smile would sometimes be seen on his face. It was during these times that Woo Bin, his best friend would just let him be. Leaving him with his own thoughts. It was like the Casanova was either remembering some memory he wouldn't care to share. Indeed, Yi Jeong was reminiscing some memories. And judging from that smile on his face, it was clearly a good one.

I swore I'd let nobody in

Not that way again

I'd fix it so they wouldn't stand a chance

He saw her taking pictures of herself along the shore. The moment she saw him, she immediately stood up and walked away. Moving towards the paddle boat in the water, Yi Jeong just smiled and followed. Once they were both settled, he tried to talking to her about what she said the night before but to no avail. The conversation just landed on an entirely different topic.

"Do you really believe in that kind of thing?"

"Of course I do! Playboys like you wouldn't understand, but there is such a thing as a true love that stays with you all your life." she indignantly answered back. This only earned her a laugh from him.

"So Ga Eul-yang, have you met your lifetime match?" he asked.

To which she wistfully answered, not a hint of embarrassment in her face, "Not yet. But when he shows up, I won't let go. Because I'd regret losing someone like that for the rest of my life."

Her words had silenced him and made him think.

But you lessened the distance

I think you knew what this could be

You never gave up reaching for me

She had waited in the cold outside his studio. She waited for him, to give him chocolates for Valentine's Day. But what greeted here was a surprise; he was with two beautiful women. They invited her in noticing that she must have stayed there all night waiting for him. Right after he told her to put her chocolates on the table with the others, she bid goodbye and bolted out the door. Yi Jeong ran after her, stopping her by holding onto her shoulders.

"Let go of me please." she said. He could hear in her voice that she was about to cry.

"This is why I don't like innocents like you." Yi Jeong said with a sigh. He had to make her understand. He wouldn't want to be at the receiving end of Jan Di's infamous spinning kick. And he was sure that making her best friend cry would just warrant that.

"Ga Eul, listen to me carefully. Acting is just acting. If you take it seriously, then we have a problem."

He saw that she was trying really hard not to cry in front of him. With a sigh, he took the bag of chocolates that were hanging from her hand.

"I'll hang on to this until Ga Eul meet the one destined for you. Thanks." He turned around and walked back to his studio. Leaving Ga Eul alone in the cold, and probably crying. He wished he could do something but didn't want to make her hope that he was giving her a chance. It was a rule that he never messed with nice girls. And Ga Eul was definitely one.

Yi Jeong cringed at the memory. He knew he was a jerk. But what else could he do? He was just thankful that Jan Di never found out about that incident. She and Jun Pyo had their own problem to deal with at that time. What with Jun Pyo's mother finding out about them, he guessed that making Ga Eul cry was the least of Jan Di's worries. It also dawned on him that Ga Eul never told Jan Di about it.

But then again, after making her cry she had once again come to his studio. This time with a different gift for him.

He was walking back to his studio when he saw Ga Eul standing there. He chose to avoid her by hiding behind one of the pillars. As she walked past him, he saw that she was deep in thought. What had he gotten himself into?

As he approached the door, he saw another bag lying there. Ga Eul must have left it here for him. Picking the bag up he entered his studio and left it on the table, checking on the ceramics he left to dry. As he was about to remove his jacket, he gave the bag on the table a glance. Curiously, he reached into it and pulled out a pair of warmers. It looked like it was hand knitted. Just then his phone rang, it was Jun Pyo. So it was her birthday, which was why she was here. It was her birthday and he was the one who got a gift. Well he'll just have to put a remedy to that.

That particular memory brought a smile to his lips. After buying her cake and a bouquet of flowers, it wasn't hard to locate her. She was waiting for the bus not far from his studio. He guessed it was some sort of retribution for being a jerk last Valentine's. Fortunately for him, Ga Eul was surprised and just took both the cake and flowers from him. But he was sure with the look she gave him, Ga Eul was thinking he was weird. Well, so much for wanting to do something good.

Everything after that went smoothly. He was aware that Ga Eul still felt something for him. But he chose to ignore it. Having her around was fun. Although there were times he was frustrated with the girl, he thought that Ga Eul was a good friend. There were certain things he admired about her. Her loyalty to her friends especially to Jan Di was amazing. It also didn't hurt that she was pretty but like he said he had his own rules. No messing around with nice girls. It would just bring a lot of tears and heartaches especially for the one to be left behind. And he doesn't want Ga Eul to be one of those.

But it seemed like the girl never gave up. It was after the accident with his hand. He was depressed. He would never be able to do pottery like before. She was once again outside his studio. He wasn't in the mood to entertain so he sent her away. But Ga Eul was persistent, she was asking for a date, a real one. Not like the "fake" one where they had planned it so that Jan Di and Jun Pyo would follow them and literally be together. He jokingly asked if she got dumped again. What Ga Eul said next had him staring at her. He knew that Ga Eul liked him. But to hear it aloud from her was different. It was like a confirmation. So he did what he knew was for the best. He sent her away right after telling her his rules; no dating nice girls, no dating with foolish girls, lastly, no dating with girls connected with his friends. He knew he was hurting her. But he was doing it for her. Yi Jeong wouldn't want Ga Eul to be involved with the likes of him.

He knew that what he did next was beyond being a jerk. He was messed up and he just wanted her to forget about him. All he knew was that he had to make Ga Eul see what he was, what he would be.

And it's still a mystery

What you see in me

Coz you know I've never been an open book

" Ga Eul, you said you wanted a date with me right? Am I still eligible for that?" he asked the girl in front of him. He knew what he had to do. He just had to show her.

He brought her to his and Woo Bin's usual hang out. They were at their private loft. Even though it was a date, Yi Jeong wasn't making Ga Eul very comfortable with it. In fact all he did was wave at every girl that would pass by. Two even invited themselves to sit beside him while Ga Eul was in a corner. He supposed she couldn't take it anymore so she stood up, to go to the ladies' room perhaps. He decided to follow her. He knew that she wouldn't be going back so he waited for her along the exit.

"If you're going to leave after this then you shouldn't have asked for a date."

He went near her and spoke beside her ear. "You haven't seen the highlight yet."

With that, she dragged her out of the club and brought her to a fancy restaurant. They were to dine with his dear father. He wanted her to see him. He wanted to show her that this man could be him in the future.

"It seems like you fancy Ga Eul." Yi Jeong told his father.

"She's cute and innocent, what isn't there to like?" His father replied.

"Even though mother is in the hospital, your son is dating and you yourself offering foie gras to cute girls. I guess we can't fool our blood."

"Let's talk about our household stories later.."

Reaching for Ga Eul's hand, "What should we talk about then? I think you like this young lady over here, should I lend her to you?" He knew he was going overboard, but he had to make Ga Eul see.

"Yi Jeong sunbae."

"How about it Ga Eul-shi, my dad is alright isn't he?"

He felt his hand being pushed away and the next thing he knew water splashed in his face. Ga Eul put down the glass, excused herself to his father and walked away.

"Today you crossed the line son." His dad told him and stood up leaving him alone.

Yi Jeong was seething in anger. He knew he was wrong but he couldn't help it. When it came to his father, his blood just boiled. He shouldn't have done that to Ga Eul. But he had to make her see. He wasn't worth it. She had to give him up and it was the only way he knew how, to make her hate him.

He thought that after what happened, Ga Eul would avoid him at all cost. He was ready for it but deep down inside he was sorry. He knew he didn't have any right to subject her to such cruelty, but the girl remained the same. She was still talking to him despite everything. He never heard anything from her regarding that night. He also never heard anything pertaining to her feelings for him. So she chose to ignore it and go on. Who was he to argue? He just followed her lead and was thankful that he didn't lose her as a friend.

So they were back again to what they were, friends. Little did he know that his world would once again be turned upside down. He had met his first love, Cha Eun Jae, who was also Ga Eul's pottery teacher. He had to face his past. He knew he would hurt all over again but he had to do it. He was even ready to give it another shot with Eun Jae but he was too late. Eun Jae was now with his brother, and it seems like they're both happy. He just had to accept that fact and move on, it would be hard but he had to do it. Thinking that Eun Jae was his air, but as she had told him; she was just the breeze, once gone you could never get back again.

Ga Eul had learned about this, asking him about a certain incident with Eun Jae 4 years ago. He told her that it was on Valentine's Day; Eun Jae had asked him to meet her the following day. She even gave him a letter. But fate didn't seem to be good to him that day. He received another call that his mother was again in the hospital. In his frustration, he knocked over a bottle wine and in the process; some papers together with Eun Jae's letter were soaked. Yi Jeong knew nothing about what the letter said and he never found out what Eun Jae wanted to tell him. That was until one day; Ga Eul came to his studio, exhausted and looked like she hadn't slept in days.

But maybe I'm changing

Just a little it's true

That's not a question I owe to you

"Yi Jeong sunbae... I found it". Ga Eul breathlessly said while leaning on him for support. She looked tired and drained.

"What?" Yi Jeong asked.

"I said I finally found it."

While holding her hand, Ga Eul led him into a building. Once they reached the rooftop, Yi Jeong ran and searched for whatever it was she had found. Ga Eul held his hand and pulled him to a certain spot, looking across the next building, glancing at her watch. The sun was about to rise, Ga Eul stepped behind him and covered his eyes.

As the sun was slowly rising from the horizon, Ga Eul took her hands away from his eyes. Yi Jeong was momentarily blinded by the light, but once he got them to focus again, he saw two billboards in front of him. As soon as the sun rose up, the message on the billboards became clearer.

"I love you Yi Jeong"

It only took him a few seconds to recognize the words but he got the message clearly. As soon as the words appeared, they were also gone immediately.

"That day, the sunrise was at 7. The moment the sun rose was the only time you could see it, that message."

Yi Jeong felt a stabbing pain in his chest. He clutched it and knelt down. Tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Idiot.."

"Even if you knew how an idiot I was. Even when you knew that better than anyone! How could you give me such a difficult question? What was I supposed to do?" Yi Jeong was already crying. It was as if he was talking to Eun Jae.

"Do it again! Do it again! Please do it again!" He was now shouting, realizing how he let go of his chance, begging for another chance. Hoping he could turn back time and grab that once in a lifetime chance. But to no avail. All he could do now was cry. He didn't even notice that Ga Eul was already crying beside him.

That was one of Yi Jeong's saddest memories. He didn't blame Ga Eul for it. Instead he was thankful to her for opening his eyes. He wouldn't feel the pain of regret if it hadn't been for her. Was that what he felt a few days after that? Was he merely grateful to her?

He was trying to mould clay with his bare feet when Ga Eul entered his studio. She just stood there watching him so he decided to speak first.

"I have both good and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" he said.

"Ah, I know Ga Eul's style. The bad one first?" He stopped what he was doing and faced her.

"There's a chance that I won't be as good as before. This hand," raising his injured hand, "I'm not sure if the God of Pottery will choose me again."

"No that won't happen. It won't be like that." Ga Eul said.

"But then, what is the good news?"

He looked at her intently, "That I'm still gonna try. I'm not going to avoid it anymore. Now I've known how it is to feel regret. Thanks to a certain someone, I've come to know it well."

"Do you want to try this?" he offered her his hand and smiled at her.

They were now both moulding the clay with their feet when Ga Eul looked up to him and asked, "How did you know that I wanted to hear the bad news first?"

Yi Jeong smiled, "Because nice girls want happy endings." She just smiled at what he said.

It was sort of relaxing to do this. Yi Jeong was finally moving on, from Eun Jae and he would be striving to continue his pottery. He wasn't going to give up, thanks to the girl beside him. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't have had the courage to face everything.

Both Yi Jeong and Ga Eul continued moulding the clay. But in a split second, he felt Ga Eul lose her footing. It was his instinct to reach out and prevent her from falling, his arms holding on to her protectively. Yi Jeong found himself looking at a pair of startled but beautiful eyes.

"I may definitely be cool, but I'm not a nice guy." Yi Jeong said, still cradling Ga Eul in his arms. She just smiled and answered,

"Throw away the notion that all nice girls want nice guys."

This made Yi Jeong smile. Then his gaze landed on her lips, they looked soft. How would it feel to kiss those lips? As if his own lips had a mind of their own, his face slowly descended towards her. Bringing himself closer to her with each passing second, all he could think of was how soft and inviting her lips looked, she also faintly smelled like strawberries. He saw Ga Eul close her eyes, as if anticipating what would happen next. When they were merely a couple of inches apart, her cellphone rang. And with that, the moment was lost as she disentangled herself from his arms. Yi Jeong just smiled at himself as he watched her talking on her phone.

Yi Jeong shook his head. Yes, he was grateful to Ga Eul for everything she had done for him. But he refused to associate that almost kiss with just being thankful. He had wanted to kiss her and could have really kissed her if not for that phone call from her mother. But then again, why had he wanted to kiss her in the first place?

It was as if something in his head clicked. Now Yi Jeong was smiling to himself while shaking his head. Woo Bin saw this and thought that his best friend must have found a solution to whatever he was pondering at. Good for him, he thought. Yi Jeong stood up from the couch and bid Woo Bin goodbye. He still needs to attend to some things. He has to tie some lose ends before confronting Ga Eul. And if that girl think that he'll just let her walk away, then she has another thing coming. Whether she likes it or not, this time around Yi Jeong wasn't letting go.

**********

It took him another two days before Yi Jeong had the chance to see Ga Eul. He was with Woo Bin and they were supposed to tell Jan Di that Jun Pyo was already out of the hospital, their destination was the porridge house. After eating their porridge and giving Jan Di the news, both Woo Bin and Jan Di were out the door and he was left sitting on the table with Ga Eul standing before him, still looking at the retreating figure of her friend and Woo Bin. The moment she turned around, Ga Eul was surprised to see him still there.

And I know you keep it safe

I trust in you that way

To keep in your possession

Every moment everyday

"Sunbae, you're not going?"

"No. My reason for coming concerns you Ga Eul-yang."Yi Jeong said.

He brought her to a kiln. The fire was extremely hot but the weather was chilly. They were sitting side by side while looking at the fire and the ceramics that was enduring the heat. Yi Jeong had a lot of things in his mind at the moment. He wanted to tell her that he was ready to take a chance. That he didn't want her to give up on him. That he now knew how important she was to him. He wanted to tell her all of these and a whole lot more but he didn't know how to start. Instead, he picked up the blanket he brought and wrapped it around Ga Eul's shoulders.

They were still both quiet. The silence was quite deafening, then he heard Ga Eul speak.

"They look happy. The dishes in there, I mean." Ga Eul said while looking at the ceramics in the fire. "Instead of being weary from the heat, I get the feeling that they're happy."

"Why?" Yi Jeong asked.

"Because they're hoping that if they endure the heat and turn out well, they will be loved." she continued.

Yi Jeong let out a smile, "Just like Ga Eul-yang."

"Now, tell me." she looked at him. "I'm ready. You have something to tell me, don't you?"

Yi Jeong decided to get on with it.

"Today again, bad news first? I'm... leaving." Her eyes widened, she turned her head to look at him. "But then again, that might not be bad news for you."

"Where?"

"Sweden."

"When...no. For how long?"she asked.

He noted how she stopped herself from asking when he would be leaving but he still answered the unspoken question. "Soon. Maybe around 4 or 5 years."

"That's good. You'll go and become and even better potter. Now I think about it, this could also be good news. What's the other news?" Ga Eul said. Even when he could hear that she was sad, she was still thinking about him. He wanted her to show it to him, that she would be sad because of this. He wanted to know how she felt.

His heart was now beating fast. It felt like any minute, it might run away from him. But he had to do it. He had to tell her. He may not be entirely ready but he wanted to give it a shot. Only if she would be willing to wait. He didn't want to be selfish, after everything she did for him. But he wanted this chance so much. The heck with everything, he would just have to take that plunge.

"That when I come back, you'll be the very first person whom I'll seek out." There, he had said it.

"Sunbae." Ga Eul was surprised. He could hear it in her voice.

"Well, I meant only if you still haven't found your soulmate by then." He hoped she wouldn't. He would be keeping that promise no matter what. Now he was the one who felt like running away. He just confessed to this girl he liked her. It was the first time for him, F4's Casanova. Although that name would have to retire.

"Put in more firewood. Do you think that it'll ever reach 1300 degrees if you leave it like that?"

Yi Jeong just had to said that, he just bared his heart out but he was still intent on keeping his cool image. At the corner of his eyes, he saw Ga Eul smile which made him smile too.

He had just told this girl that he liked her, and he would be coming back for her, indirectly asking her to wait for him. Yi Jeong felt happy. He may not have left for Sweden yet but he was looking forward to the day that he would be coming back to Korea. To fulfil his promise for this girl who had done everything for him. When that time comes, he would make sure that waiting for him would be worth it. He couldn't wait for the day to come back to this girl, this beautiful person, the one who won his heart.

Because you hold me up so high

Give yourself with no condition

Because you guide me when I'm stumbling in the dark

You hear what's deep inside

When I need you there to listen

You're the one who won my heart