OMG, here it is! I DO NOT ownTDI or any TDI characters! Okay, so last time we left off with Courtney freaking out cuz Duncan's a total fracking idiot, right? RIGHT! So here's what I thought should happen next. Nothing much happens, but it's still funny. This is like my MOST REVIEWED fanfic up right now! Keep those reviews coming, please! Oh. BTW, OPs means old people! Hee hees --sKetchdiva

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"SHIT!" Duncan repeated, jumping up with me. "You're pregnant! Oh my–" He raked a hand through his hair murderously, probably pulling out fistfuls.

"What are we gonna do?!" I cried. "We're way too young! Oh my god..."

"Don't ask me! I've never been pregnant before!"

My eyes sprang wide, me darting across and room and clamping a hand over my mouth to keep from vomiting again. But that didn't help much. I threw up before I made it two steps toward the bathroom, holding my stomach and doing it on the carpet. "Oh, GOD!"

Duncan had a paper towel in his hand, wiping my mouth after I dry-heaved, indicating I was done...for now. "Here." It was wet, so it felt good on my clammy, flushed face.

"Oh, thanks," I gasped, him leading me back over to the bed. He set me down gently and knelt down so that he was at my eye level.

"Well...maybe yer not..."

"What else could it be, Duncan?" I snapped, bolting upright and grabbing my head when the sharp movement made me even more nauseous and the room spun. "Oh."

"Careful." He stood and gently pushed back on my shoulders, making me lie down. "Jesus. Yer just sick. Chillax."

I pressed my fists to my eyes and began crying. "I'm not sick! I'm pregnant, don't you get it? A baby! Yeah, I'm a little sick, with morning sickness! Look at the facts: I haven't had my period, you didn't use that condom, I'm throwing up. What more confirmation do we need? I. Am. Pregnant! Oh, my god, I can't believe this! I'm only eighteen! Oh, what will happen when my mother finds out! Oh, fuck! What're we gonna do?!"

I removed my hands from my eye sockets and hastily wiped the thousands of tears littering my cheeks. Duncan was just standing there, staring at me. It made me feel self conscious. I sat up – slowly, this time – and looked up at him worriedly. "Duncan, a-are you al–"

He threw his hands up and spun around, stalking toward the door with fast feet. "Don't even ask that."

I scoffed, swinging my legs over the edge of the mattress and hopping down, following him, though I was really exhausted and wanted to relax for once today. "Why? Is it so bothersome that I care about you? Is that it?"

"Of course not."

"Then what's your problem?! I just found out I'm pregnant! The least you can do is comfort me or try to sooth me in some way!"

"Well it's my kid too!" he shouted, his voice going nasaly to try and imitate me...badly. "I just found out that I'm gonna be a frackin' dad. The least you can do is comfort or try soothe me in some way!"

I rolled my eyes dramatically and groaned. "Oh whatever."

"Yeah. Whatever." He stomped his way over to the front door and unlocked it.

I gawked. "Where are you going?" I barked with my hands on my hips.

"Out."

"Why?"

He exhaled angrily in a huff, staring at himself in the small, round mirror kiddie-corner to the door. "I dunno," he sighed.

I scoffed at him again, with so much disbelief at the stupidity of his answer that it hurt my throat. "How could you not know why you're leaving the house?" I demanded, squinting at his confused expression.

He kept on staring at his reflection, sighing softly and shutting the door he had yanked open. "I dunno."

I put my hands up and curled my fingers to imitate choking him, spinning and grunting out a really loud shriek of frustration, storming into the bedroom again. "You're an idiot!"

"Yeah," he replied from behind me. "But I'm a hot idiot."

I sneered and slammed the door, throwing myself face-down on the bed and doing a major sob-session.

Duncan

I rubbed my creased forehead and groaned. Why does life have to be so fracking complicated? Great. Just great. I really am an idiot. Now, I'm a daddy. Whoopdie-frakin-doo. But, wow, a dad? Me? Ha! That thought's never crossed my mind before. I mean, me? A dad? Yeah, right. There must be some kinda freaky chicky explanation behind this. What if...uh...she's just going through a very short period of menopause that random teenage chicks...ugh. Nope. But what if–? No. Aw, man.

I slumped over to the couch and collapsed into one of the floppy cushions. Crap. "I've really screwed up this time, huh?" Yeah, I was talking to myself, like a wack job. Super. I sat up and rested my chin in my hands, propping my elbows on my knees. Why was I gonna just walk out and leave Courtney by herself like that? What was I thinking? I got her into this big craphole of a mess, so I should have to suffer with her, right? BUT A KID? I can't raise a kid! I mean, A KID?! No, no, this can't be happening. There MUST be a mistake! But there's only one way to find out.

"Running out to the store," I shouted over my shoulder, sprinting out of our apartment and slamming the door. I made my way out through all the electric doors and threw myself in the car, speeding off to Wal-Mart not four miles away. By now ya probly get why I'm going. I parked across two handicapped spots – the OPs can kiss my ass – and bolted up to the entrance. I was about to run through when I slammed my face into the doors. "OW!" I grimaced broadly and grabbed at my face, waiting for the doors to open at a turtle's pace before I could continue on. The old guy in the blue vest by the Redbox stared at me like I was some kinda impaired person. "Screw off," I spat, making my way to one of my favorite isles.

"Can I help you find something?" a woman in maybe her fifties asked as I was passing the tampons, tapping my black leather jacket and eying the matching pants. "You seem confused."

I scoffed and glowered at her harshly, shaking my head and stomping away. Stupid bitch.

I finally got to the part of the store with the condoms and pregnancy tests, picking the ones that looked like they'd work the best (PREGNANCY TESTS. God, you people are perverts. Then again, so am I. I was actually thinking the same thing. Rawr), and a pack of six so Princess could double-check – maybe triple-check – her answers. I tossed 'em onto the conveyor belt and grabbed a couple packs of gum, too. I'm a chewer. I always chew massive amounts of gum when I'm nervous. Now would be one of those times. Awful childhood habit. I cringed.

FLASHBACK

"Now, I'm going to be back at ten, but I want you in bed by eight-thirty." My mom was running her favorite color lipstick over her lips, smacking them and heading for the front door.

"But I won't see you," I complained, poking at my cereal. I had stayed up all night so I could see her off. I dunno why. Just wanted to. It was five-thirty in the morning, and she had started this job a week ago. I never saw her, and with Dad gone, my brothers out drinking and smoking pot, or bringing friends home and drinking and smoking pot, my little sister, Dana, crying and screaming, it was pretty chaotic without Mom here to yell at everybody to shut up and go to their rooms.

I missed her; I loved her, no matter how much it pained me to think it. I scooped up some Count Chocula and let it fall back into the bowl, milk splattering everywhere.

She growled and raked a paper towel over the table around me. "God, Duncan, you're eight years old. You're too old to be making messes like this."

I shrugged, taking some glugs of my OJ. "Can't I stay up till you get home? Please?"

"For the third time, no. Little growing boys need their sleep."

"I'm not little!" I whined with a glower. "Look." I flexed my tiny muscles, but back then I thought they were huge.

She chortled. "Okay. But no. Eight-thirty."

I scowled as she opened the door. "I wanna be by right there when you get here! It's not fair!"

"Hell yes, it is fair. Now stop being a little prick and eat your damn cereal."

"No!" I knocked my Count Stupidla onto the floor, it splashing out and rolling into the grout of the floor, covering a big four-by-three area.

She gasped. "Duncan! Pick that up!"

"Make me!"

"Fine! I will!" She yanked my shaggy black hair down and jerked me to the floor, me screaming, "Let go! Ow, let GO!"

"Not until you clean this up!" she shrieked. She let go and I fell, my face landing in the cocoa-y milk.

I grunted and made myself keep the tears hidden. I blinked them away and scowled at her back as she stamped toward the door again.

"Here," she said icily, tossing a small blue pack over her shoulder. "Your dentist says this'll strengthen your teeth." She slammed the door, and the pack of Act gum skidded to a halt in front of my kneeling legs.

I picked it up skeptically and took a piece out, shoving it in my mouth and chewing it furiously. That when I let my tears go, just thankful that Dana was asleep and all my brothers had snuck out last night.

END FLASHBACK

I sighed and slung my Wal-Mart bag over my shoulder, nodding to the psycho by the Redbox and waiting for the doors this time before walking out. I gunned home and burst through the front door finding Princess on the phone, her eyes pouring and sobbing like crazy.

"–just left me! I know, you're right! What an–" She saw me and dropped her cell phone.

I glared at it. "I...just went to the store."

"Oh, Duncan!" She grinned sweetly through her waterworks and jumped off the floor to wrap me in a really, really tight hug. "I knew you'd be back! Bridgette kept telling me you just threw me away but I didn't believe her!"

"But I thought you just–"

"I know! She's such a bitch!" Oh no. Mood swings. I gulped as she let me go and slapped her phone shut, tossing it onto the counter. "So where are they?" She seemed normal again, looking around me to find the bag I had behind my back.

I shrugged and snatched a box out of it, handing it to her. "I got a bunch, so..."

"Good idea." She gave me a small smile, turning for the bathroom and mock-scoffing at me when I followed. "Um, excuse you."

"Right, right. Sorry." I stepped back and let her shut the door, just pacing around frantically as I chewed my spearmint Orbit. God, how could I have been so STUPID? I got Courtney PREGNANT! I'm such a MORON! And God knows I'm not ready to be a dad; I forgot to put that condom on, how do I know I won't forget to feed the kid? Or, or change its diaper? Maybe I'll leave it in the back of the car and it'll die of a heat stroke! Or I could forget it in the parking lot and it could get run over! OHMYGOD, I CAN'T AND I WILL NOT DO THIS!! I grabbed my head and squeezed my eyes shut as pictures of semi-trucks running right over toddlers at forty miles-an-hour teased me and danced around in my brain. Ew, GOD!

I paced for what seemed like forever, but every time I would look at the clock (seriously, how long does a pregnancy test take?), it would say I'd only been pacing for a minute. I banged on the door, wiping the sweat off my temples. "Courtney, are you okay? Why's it taking so long?"

She whimpered and sniffed, so I threw my head back and groaned. I swiped my hands across the top of the door frame and grabbed the little brass key sitting perched on the edge, sticking it in the door and unlocking it.

I pushed the door open, her sitting on the toilet seat lid with her knees pulled up to her chest. She looked at me with red, wet, puffy eyes and glanced over at the counter. I followed her gaze, all six tests I had bought reading PREGNANT in the little screen, spread out around the sink. I rubbed my cheek. This can't be happening. "Wow. Man, I...you...I didn't..." What was I supposed to say? Everything seemed weird. Shitty's more like it.

She shook her head, sniffling once and turning away from me, staring at the shower curtain blankly. "What're we going to do?" she half whispered, closing her eyes.

I sighed deeply, bowing my head and just looking at the floor. "I don't know."

"Gee, thanks a lot!" she shouted, standing and throwing her hands up in the air. "That's all I ever get from you! 'I don't know'! Wow, that's so fucking helpful!"

"You can say it, why can't I?" I complained.

"UUGH!" She shoved me out of the way and stormed to God knows where.

I slumped against the wall and slid down till I was sitting on the floor. I reached up and grabbed the test I'd been holding and really looked closely at it. No lying. It said PREGNANT. Oh, man. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I mean, what CAN I do? It's not like the thing's gonna be growing inside'a me.

I huffed and ran to the bedroom door, yanking on the knob. "Princess, please open the door."

"Why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Cuz. I wanna talk to you."

There was a pause, then I heard her stomp up and unlock it, but she was already back in the bed with her arms crossed stubbornly when I opened it. I sighed and walked up to her slowly, kneeling down like I had before to look her in the eyes. I held my hand out to grab hers, which she willingly handed – no pun intended – over. "Okay, look..." I started off with that. Smooth.

I'm always open to suggestions and new ideas! And Courtney cusses like a sailor! OMG. Last chappie (I just added this today), she told Duncan to say "frack", but then she goes around shouting the real word right in front of him. Just in case you were wondering. And, OMG, Duncan's mom is a bitch! And, LOL, do they even make spearmint Orbit?