This fic is known as 'The Five Times Jim Crapped His Way Out Of A Situation, and The One Time He Didn't'. The title says all, yeah? I own NOTHIN'!

"Uhh. Okay, look. So what really happened was that Sam," Jim pointed at his elder brother, who was sitting behind a counter, looking abashed, "decided he wanted uhh. Honey, and uh. Pancakes. Yeah. That. So I decided, being the awesome little brother I am," Jim fluttered his eyelids fake-modestly, "I decided to help him. So I took out the pan, and the pancake mixture."

His mother stood in front of him, dressed in a gown and heels, with a clutch in her hand, hands on hips, looking undecided between angry and amused.

"And why, might I ask, didn't you replicate it?" Winona asked, matter-of-factly.

"Uh," Jim said, never one to give up, "I thought I'd make 'em from scratch, you know? 'Cuz we're good ole' cunnry fowlk," He mimicked Mr. Peterson who lived four miles from them.

"Uh huh. And since when can you cook?"

"Well, Ma. I have a very high learning curve, okay? I figured it out while you were gone."

"Ignoring the fact that it takes years to learn to make good pancakes."

"Yea-No. Of course not. Sam knew he wasn't gonna get good pancakes."

"And how exactly did they end up on the ceiling?"

"Yeah, well that's where the rat comes in."

"A rat." Her voice conveyed her utter disbelief, and Jim ignored it with ease of long practice.

"Yeah. A rat. Like a brown furry squeaking thing."

"Are you sure it wasn't your hamster?"

"Of course I'm sur--Oh shit." Jim glanced at the trashcan, looking somewhat heartbroken. "Captain Awesome?" Jim asked, meekly. There was, as expected, no reply from the bin. His shoulders slumped. "But it had a tail!"

"Watch your language, Jim. I'm sure it wasn't Captain Awesome if it had a tail. Now you were telling me what happened?" Winona knew better than to be fooled by her son's already blossoming acting talent. She wouldn't let him get away with this one.

"Yeah. So Captain Awesome was running 'round squeaking and Sam freaked out." There was a mild protest from his brother, but he piped down. He knew now to leave this stuff to Jim. "And he jumped on a chair, and the chair fell on me, and I kinda panicked and chucked the frying pan at him."

"And it ended up on the ceiling." She wasn't even surprised anymore.

"Yeah."

"Wanna tell me about why Jenny's in the bee-hive next door, malfunctioning?" Jenny was the household robot, who had more than once done the crazy stuff in Jim's plans, after he once reprogrammed her.

"Like I said. Sam wanted honey."

"With pancakes."

"What can I say? I'm just the loving younger-brother-slave-thing." Sam protested again. Winona quieted him with a glance. She knew the poor boy was no where near sharp enough to keep up with Jim and his antics.

"So you did all this, in an hour and a half."

"I didn't do it! It happened!" Jim exclaimed, blue eyes wide as they could possibly get.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, and knelt down and opened her arms for a hug. Sam and Jim hugged her. "What am I gonna do with you Jimmy?"

"Love me, Feed me, Never leave me, Ma."

Winona laughed till she had tears in her eyes, and it was a strange picture indeed. A mother hugging her two sons in a kitchen covered in flour and eggs and oil, a malfunctioning robot on fire in the doorway and pancakes on the ceiling.

He reminded her of George…

Well? How is it?

REVIEW!!!!
Love,

Lady Merlin

--Party Like A Vulcan--