I Shall Use My Time
by channelD
written for a friend, on occasion of her birthday
rating: K
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disclaimer: I own nothing of NCIS
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The night was warm and still when Gibbs, Tim and Tony walked out of the hospital. Gibbs had a steadying hand on Tim's good shoulder in case he would stumble; Tony, on Tim's other side, was silently prepared to catch him if he pitched that way. But Tim's gait was mostly even, if stiff and slow. The bruises and cuts from being clipped by their suspect's fleeing car would have him sore for days; but even his broken arm wasn't causing much pain at the moment.
He had been so lucky, they all knew. It could have ended so much worse…and in the first moments following the encounter, Gibbs and Tony had been sure that it had ended, completely, indeed.
"We'll drive you home, McGee," said Gibbs. Tim had originally gone in to NCIS with Ziva, who had since returned to HQ with the evidence from the crime scene.
"Oh," said Tim, looking distressed.
"Something wrong?" Gibbs asked quickly. "You okay?"
"No, boss. I'm just…a little disappointed. I was…" he paused and swallowed, fearing being teased for a nerdy interest. "…I was going to see the Perseids tonight. The meteor shower. Tomorrow and the next night are going to be cloudy, and…never mind. Let's go."
Gibbs and Tony locked eyes. Tony shrugged.
"Where were you going to go see the meteors, McGee?" Gibbs asked.
"Any place with a clear view of the northeast will do. There's a large field—farmland—north of Silver Spring."
"We're northeast of Silver Spring now."
Tim bit back a sigh and didn't reply. It would be asking a lot, he knew. There were times when a job with unvarying 9-to-5 work hours sounded so good…
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The painkillers given him at the hospital made Tim nod off as soon as he got into Gibbs' car. It was only Tony, shaking him awake from the back seat, who brought him around. "McGee? This the place?"
They were on a dark, country road, where open fields stretched on two sides. There were a few other cars and trucks parked nearby, on the shoulders on both sides of the road. Dark human-shaped figures, standing not far away in the fields, could just be made out. Gibbs slowed the car, pulled off the road, and parked.
"Yeah. This is it," Tim said drowsily. "But…"
"Well, come on, then. Get out."
Momentary fear gripped Tim. "Boss, I'm miles from home! Thanks for taking me here, but I don't want to walk all that way…!"
Tony sounded strangled as he choked on his laughter. "Probie, we're not going to ditch you here, as fun as that might be for me under other circumstances! We'll watch the stars with you for a little while."
"And then we'll take you home," said Gibbs with a glare at Tony, who wasn't quite done chortling.
The three of them got out of the car, and Gibbs got a blanket and binoculars out of the trunk. "What's the best viewing direction, McGee?"
"We need to look northeast," said Tim.
Soon they were seated on Gibbs' blanket on the fallow field. "I hope this is worth it, Probilicious," said Tony. "Watching some twinkly star get juiced up and—man! Did you see that?! Did you see that?! That was—There's another one! Man!"
Gibbs chuckled. "Good free theatre, isn't it? I loved watching meteor showers, when I was growing up."
"It was the Perseids that…" Tim let the sentence dangle, perhaps caught up in the streaks of all colors in the sky.
"That what, McGee?" Tony finally asked.
Tim squirmed. "Nothing."
"Ah, ah; don't you taunt us like that. Spill!"
"You don't really care."
"You don't know that."
"Why I tried to stop our suspect," said Tim, almost in a whisper, "even after you called me back."
"You almost got killed," Gibbs said immediately.
Tony added, "I know I've been yanking your chain a lot this week, McGee, but it's because you're so intense at times about your work. Really driven. But…"
"Someone said," Tim interrupted, " 'I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.' I know I'm intense sometimes. Sorry."
They were all silent for a moment, and then Tony said, "Yeah, well, it would be crazy quiet without you around here, McGeek. So use your time to stay alive and do your job, okay? And show us cool things like this meteor bath, or whatever it is. I do appreciate it, ya goof…"
When Tim didn't answer, Tony continued, "Aw, now you've got me going all sentimental. Stop that. Yeah, I know. I'm not likely to say stuff like that very often, so—" When Gibbs tapped his shoulder and gestured, Tony looked down to see that his teammate had fallen asleep. "Oh, well. For the best. I'll try to use my time, too," he grunted, and went back to watching the sky.
I shall use my time. Gibbs silently assigned Tim's maxim a rule number.
After half an hour, Gibbs and Tony woke Tim up and the three of them drove home; the beauty of the meteors and the quotation echoing in their minds.
"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
--Jack London