Disclaimer: I do NOT own Transformers. I believe they belong to Hasbro.

Author's Note: I just had to write another Ironhide story after thinking back on TF2 ROTF, dealing with his worst nightmare…rodents. One named Mojo and the other Frankie. XD

Chapter 1

Ironhide was not thrilled to learn that Sam now had two pit-spawn rodents running amuck at the young man's living accommodations. It was already enough trouble dealing with just one…but two?! After learning of this new intel from none other than Bumblebee, the weapon's specialist avoided Sam's residence as if it were cosmic rust.

He wasn't going. Nothing could change his processor.

Not even Bumblebee's reassurances, Optimus's ordering, Sideswipe's taunting, or even Ratchet's wrench throwing could get him moving. He remained frozen in his alt mode within the hangar of the Diego Garcia base, refusing to budge a centimeter.

"I don't give a FRAG if the boy is in danger! Send Bumblebee to guard him…"

"Ironhide, you are the most capable soldier for this mission. Only you can ensure the boy's safety."

"BUMBLEBEE is Sam's GAURDIAN!! Make him do it!"

"Bumblebee is not equipped enough to hold off Megatron, Starscream, or Soundwave on his own. YOU have the firepower necessary to eliminate any of them."

"I DON'T GIVE A SLAG!!"

A wrench sailed through the air to hit Ironhide's passenger door, leaving a nice dent, one of many in fact that he already sustained this day. The top-kick ignored the CMO and continued ranting. His repair sub-routines would repair the damage in no time.

"If you are so concerned then why don't you go and guard him"

The Autobot leader released a heavy, frustrated sigh.

"I already told you…I have numerous meetings, two of which are very important and that I am unable to postpone. Therefore, you are the one that shall be going."

Ironhide was getting desperate and couldn't keep the pleading out of his vocal processor.

"Sir, I'm begging you…give me ANY OTHER assignment but this one!"

"I'm afraid this can't be avoided, my friend. You must go."

"Send Sideswipe…he is one of the best Autobot soldiers I've ever had the honor of fighting alongside in combat. You saw what he did to Sideways…he could do that to Screamer if given the chance!"

"Sideswipe is a melee fighter, the best equipped for close ranged fighting. Megatron, Soundwave, and Starscream have flight capabilities, making it far easier to eliminate our ground forces."

"And I suppose you can clearly see the wings and the thruster pack attacked to my back!" Ironhide scoffed, uncaring if he was being disrespectful or not.

Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose-plates in exasperation.

"YOU have the target sensors to hit them with long range fire!"

Ironhide couldn't keep the whining tone out of his voice when he spoke next, uncaring if he sounded like a spoiled little youngling.

"But I'm a soldier, Optimus…not a sparkling-sitter!"

Optimus glared at his insubordinate comrade and growled, taking on that 'do not argue with me' tone.

"You will go and protect Sam, in the event that Soundwave or any of the other Decepticons decide to make a move."

Ironhide swore beneath his breath.

"This is such a disgrace…an indignity… there is no honor to be had in this!"

Optimus's face softened and his voice lost its hard edge.

"You would care more about your dignity and your honor than Sam's life?"

Ironhide stuttered and struggled to say something, anything in his defense but fell short. At long last, he slumped where he was standing knowing without a doubt that he had been defeated. Why did Optimus always have to shoot him down with that particular card?!

He snarled, his engine roaring furiously.

"Slag it all Optimus…I'll follow orders. But I sure as the pit refuse to like it!"

With those angry words vented, the Autobot weapon's specialist burned rubber out of the hangar and boarded the airplane that was to take him to Sam's old residence.

It was summertime and the boy was taking a break from college, reveling in the fact that he had just completed his first year.

Ironhide grumbled to himself on the plane, shutting off his comlink in order to sort through his troubled thoughts. He slipped into recharge half-way through the flight, completely forgetting all about his new assignment and the pit-slagging trouble he was sure to encounter from Sam's loathsome rodents.

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The other Autobot's watched their comrade depart before turning and re-entering the hangar that served as their base.

"Do you think this was a worthy punishment for what he did to Sam's canine last year?"

"Undoubtedly," Optimus reassured with laughter in his optics.

Ratchet looked quite amused as he walked beside his leader.

"I must say that I'm impressed."

Optimus chuckled as he bent down to retrieve one of the CMO's wrenches from the floor.

"Indeed…lying to Ironhide is usually such a cumbersome task."

Ratchet nodded in understanding with a smirk growing on his face.

"I must say that you were quite believable…if I didn't know better, I'd say that you were serious about your scheduled meetings."

Sideswipe cackled maniacally from across the hangar, having overheard the conversation and shouted back at the promising prospect of blackmail.

"You'd better keep that little secret to yourselves before 'Hide finds out that Prime is on vacation!!"

Ratchet snarled and hurled a wrench in his direction, soon running after him while screaming threats and insults.

"YOU BACKSTABBING TRAITOR! If you so much as HINT at what's really going on…I'll rearrange your circuits and reformat you into a PAPER SHREDDER!!"

Ah yes…it was another peaceful day at Autobot command.

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Ironhide rolled cautiously up the driveway and waited for the familiar bark.

It was quiet…too quiet.

Just as the weapon's specialist was getting suspicious, Sam appeared from around the corner, startling half a century out of him.

"SAM! Where are your rodents? My scanners do not detect them anywhere"

Sam leaned casually against the side of the fence next to the driveway, with his hands stuck in his jean's pockets.

"Oh, you mean Mojo and Frankie? We recently roasted and then barbequed them…mmm…tasty."

It took Ironhide a moment to process that Sam was in fact, joking in a rather sarcastic manner.

"I see. Then I thank you for consuming your pit-spawn. You have saved me the trouble of terminating them myself!!"

Sam's face paled and he laughed nervously while rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

"So you really still hate Mojo for peeing on you, huh?"

A deep, throaty growl was his response.

"What has Frankie ever done to you?"

"He is just like that other rodent."

Sam laughed weakly and then decided to change the subject, feeling a little uncomfortable. He had the creepiest feeling that Ironhide was staring at him…daring him to argue. Sam already died once and he had no intention of repeating that experience at the wrong end of one of Ironhide's massive cannons.

"Seriously, don't worry yourself about the dogs. They are locked up in a place that you will never find them…"

Just then two dogs began to yap excitedly upon seeing a familiar black GMC top-kick sitting in the driveway. Mikeala pulled back on the leashes, restraining them from running up to 'say hello' to the grumpy Autobot.

Ironhide snarled feeling his frame tense.

Sam's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when he saw her coming with the two canines.

"Umm…Mikaela…what are you doing back so soon?"

His right eye was twitching and he had sweat beading on his forehead as he hopped from foot to foot with nervousness, as he edged himself away from the truck. Sam could almost swear that he felt pure hate radiating off of the thing…then again, maybe that was just heat he was feeling from Ironhide's engine. He did drive over four hours from the airport. Regardless, Sam wanted to be as far away from Ironhide as he could be at that moment. He hastily scooped up the two dogs from the ground, both struggling to get down as Sam ran past the truck and to his backyard where he all but threw them through the backdoor of his house. He trotted back down to where Mikaela was still standing beside Ironhide.

"So…"

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Sam. Good luck with…everything."

Mikaela kissed him on the cheek before smiling and walked back the way she came. Sam stood looking completely horrified, now all alone with the trigger happy mech of doom…

"So…"

"I'll see both you and your rodents very soon…good-night Sam."

Sam squeaked and ran back inside his house, missing the good-hearted chuckling from the Autobot in his driveway. Ironhide loved giving the boy a hard time sometimes…although he had been quite serious about meeting again with his two domesticated canines.

"If they so much as sniff my tires…I'm going to shoot the fraggers."

Sam heard Ironhide's warning from the kitchen window and vowed to keep the dogs locked up in their kennel that night…

TO BE CONTINUED!!

A/N: Wow…I must say that I am having fun writing this. This is not the end! Surprisingly I believe I have one more chapter to give but as it is, I am worn out from school and work and its late so I must get some sleep! PLEASE REVIEW!!