Quite frankly, if you haven't noticed from my other work, I don't write happy endings. This story was my first really attempt at comedy. Failed in the end. I guess you could say I don't believe in happy endings. I've only written one novel that has one, and it still ended in death. So even as I bow to reader pressure, there will be no ultimate happy ending. Unless you stop where I've marked for you. You can stop there and believe they all lived happily ever after.

I can't say I understand your displeasure at the original ending, I did set up that Kakashi was willing to leave with Itachi because he loved him so much and that Naruto knew firsthand how much the village hated and distrusted Sasuke.

So anyway, here's your alternate ending with Sasuke staying in Konoha.

—

Sasuke was up before Naruto again, but it was far, far too early. Sasuke turned on the kitchen light to relieve the strain on his eyes. He packed everything dear to him, surprising little. Two sets of closes and a few Uchiha artifacts. That depressed him further, he had little to take, but at least it didn't look like he was planning on leaving. Not even Naruto would be able to tell he was leaving without planning to return.

He made breakfast, not knowing the next time he'd have a full meal. It was still over an hour before dawn.

The smell of food woke Naruto like a puppy. "Sasuke? Why are you up so early?"

"I've got to see Itachi. I need him to tell me the truth." Sasuke was lucky he didn't have any expressions to school.

"You're going to search for him? You don't know where he went. Do you?"

"No. But I'll find him."

"You're not leaving for good, are you?" Sasuke didn't respond. "Well I'm going with you."

Sasuke looked at him for a minute and nodded. "I want to leave before dawn."

Naruto sprang up and dressed. Sasuke cleaned up the kitchen, knowing he was never coming back, though Naruto might think it was because he planning on not coming back for a week or so.

Sasuke waited as Naruto strapped on the last of his pouches. Sasuke strapped his knapsack to his back. He was about to say something to Naruto when there was a knock on his door. He went over and opened it.

"Ready to go?" Kakashi asked.

"What?"

"I'm going with you. You'll need help finding Itachi."

Sasuke almost laughed. All three left, going over the wall rather than through the gates.

Kakashi summoned his hounds and sent them looking for Itachi. The trio walked silently until the hounds returned as the sky lightened. Pakkun led them to Itachi.

Itachi was sitting against a tree, his Akatsuki cloak pulled around him like a blanket, but he was awake and deep in thought. Sensing them, he stood and readied himself for battle. Even when he saw Sasuke and Naruto—not knowing which was his brother at the moment—he did not back down. Then he saw Kakashi.

"I'm not here as an enemy," Kakashi said.

"Me either," Naruto said.

"I need you to tell me the truth."

Itachi nodded once. He motioned for the two of them to go a little further into the forest. Sasuke went with him while Naruto and Kakashi waited just out of earshot.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said nervously, "you're in love with Itachi, aren't you?"

Kakashi was a moment answering. "Yes."

"Do you know about Sasuke and me?"

"I was beginning to suspect. I wasn't sure until this morning. Do you really love him?"

"All this time I thought I was in love with Sakura. But I didn't feel this way about her. When I think of him leaving again, it hurts. He's beautiful and I used to think anything beautiful was fragile. But everyone knows Sasuke's not fragile. But in the last few days, even before that, he would drop the tough, emotionless act with me sometimes and he can be really fragile. When I see him like that, all I want is to protect him. I always want to protect him, even when I'm trying to kill the irritating bastard. I never want to be without him. I love him so much it hurts, even when I'm with him."

"Have you told him that?"

"What? That I love him? Yeah."

"No, I mean about loving him so much it hurts and that you want to protect him?"

"Naw. He'd be angry that I felt he needed to be protected."

"You should tell him. I never told Itachi just how much I loved him. Tell Sasuke and don't let him leave again."

"What about Itachi?"

Kakashi was still composing an answer when they heard Sasuke's raised voice. They both rushed forward.

"It's my choice! I can't live here anymore! I'm going with you."

"What, you're really leaving?" Naruto demanded.

"I couldn't tell you," Sasuke said as he turned to him. "You wouldn't have let me leave."

"Damn right."

"I'm sorry Naruto. I'll never be happy in Konoha. All my life, since that night, I've had to choose between my past and my future. Every time I chose my past. And that's what I've chosen this time. You always look to your future, to being Hokage. I can't do that. My future is blank. Even if I did kill Itachi. Kakashi warned me, and I believe him, that revenge would leave me empty. It has left me empty. The village will never trust me or accept me. I have no future here. I'm going with Itachi."

"I don't want to lose you again."

"I'll miss you, but I think your association with me will only hurt your chances at becoming Hokage. And anything else. I love you, but I have to leave."

"Sasuke," Itachi summoned his attention. "I can't let you leave Konoha."

"He's right, Sasuke," Kakashi said. "If you leave again, you will be hunted down and killed. The village cannot afford to leave missing-nins alone. And if you leave again, no one will trust you to keep our secrets. I can't let you leave. For your own sake."

"I can't trust the village."

"I know, I saw that yesterday."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"You might not be able to convince them, but I can," Naruto said, "you said that yourself."

"You said you've been trying, the three of you. It's not working."

"I'll try harder. I thought I had all the time in the world. If I knew it was driving you away . . ."

"What about you?" Sasuke turned to Itachi. "I don't want to lose you again, now that I don't hate you anymore."

"I still have work to do. I've been working to delay Akatsuki and leak information to Jiraiya; he doesn't know who's leaking the information. And I don't think I can come back to Konoha."

"You might, as an ANBU," Kakashi suggested. "No one ever needs to see your face."

"Humph. Be a prisoner under that mask. And where would I live?"

"With me." Itachi seemed uncomfortable for the first time in memory. "Sasuke already figured it out, I didn't tell him."

Itachi's eyes darted between Kakashi and Sasuke. Sasuke had no exceptional emotion on his face; Itachi took that as indifference toward his relationship with Kakashi. "Even after Tsukuyomi? You still love me?"

"Yes."

Itachi bowed his head and smirked. "If I survive bringing Akatsuki down, then I will come home. You have my promise, Sasuke. Stay in Konoha. I was worried that when I died there would be no one to grieve for me. It's about as bad as thinking I was going to die completely alone." He approached Sasuke. "I love you, remember that. I will always choose your life over everything else, even the village I did so much to protect."

Sasuke threw himself into Itachi's arms and the embraced for what seemed like eternity. Finally, Itachi released his grip and Sasuke's fell away soon after.

"You better come home."

"I will, brother."

"You two, get back to the village," Kakashi said.

Sasuke turned to go, but sent a death glare at Kakashi to which he gave an exaggerated smile so that his eyes smiled broadly, assuring Sasuke he wouldn't try to harm Itachi. Sasuke gave Itachi one last glance before he followed Naruto, not in much of a hurry to get back to the village.

Kakashi pulled down his mask. "I've missed you so much, Itachi."

"I'm sorry for leaving without saying anything, but I had to."

"Will you tell me what happened?"

Itachi gave him an abbreviated version of the story. "I couldn't tell you anything."

"You're right. I would have followed you."

Kakashi approached Itachi, but before he could get within an arm's length, Itachi stepped back.

"You don't trust me?"

"I barely trust Sasuke, but then again, I wanted him to kill me eventually. He might still be the death of me."

"I truly don't mean you any harm. I never told you just how much I love you. I wanted to keep you with me always and I wanted to protect you. When I first heard the Uchiha were wiped out, I thought I failed to do the one thing I wanted desperately to do, protect you. When you came back to the village, I had to restrain myself from grabbing you and kissing you. It was probably my imagination, but I swore by the way you moved your hair, you were trying to seduce me like you did back then."

"A little sadism on my part," Itachi said with an impish smirk.

"No one else would know how much of a flirt you could be."

"I'm sorry, Kakashi. I've learned not to trust anyone."

"Even me, my little raven?"

"If I come back, then I will."

"iWhen/i you come home."

"Yes."

"Then I won't say goodbye."

"You just did."

"I guess I did," Kakashi said with a smile. He replaced his mask and turned to leave.

"Kakashi." He turned. "I never stopped loving you either. Wait for me."

"Forever."

Itachi disappeared. Kakashi followed his students.

—

Naruto and Sasuke were half way back to the village wall. Naruto turned and punched Sasuke with all his strength.

"Idiot!"

"What the hell?" Sasuke demanded.

"You were going to leave again! Idiot! I love you! How can you let us get so close when you were planning on leaving? I know you're an emotional retard, but how can you do that. I love you so much, I'd die if you left again!"

Sasuke sat there, unmoving, listening to Naruto's tirade, knowing he was right. Naruto calmed.

"Kakashi said he never told Itachi just how much he loved Itachi. It's horrible that I told Kakashi this before you, but I love you so much I feel pain even when I'm with you. I know you'll be offended, but all I want to do is protect you. Even the village be damned. I wanted to be Hokage to get their respect, but I don't care about that anymore. I want to be Hokage so that you'll respect me, you'll acknowledge me, and so that I can protect you, even from the village."

Sasuke looked down during Naruto's speech. "That scares me. Itachi said the same thing. He spared my life because he loved me. He loved me more than the village he was trying to protect by killing our clan. They were planning a coup. Itachi sided with the Hokage and killed them all. All but me. He chose exile to save me."

Sasuke stood and grabbed Naruto by the collar. "If you ever do anything like that for my sake, I will kill you! If I'm dead and you still do something so stupid for my sake, then I'll came back from the dead just to kill you! You understand me, idiot?"

"Yeah, I do."

Sasuke let his grip weaken. "I love you, but I can never love you as much as I do Itachi. He was my world when we were growing up. I looked up to him. Like I said, I will always choose my past, I will always choose Itachi, but I do love you more than anything else. Can you live with that?"

"Of course, bastard." Naruto kissed him.

They had been walking so slowly that Kakashi had caught up. He shook his head. Of course these two wouldn't be able to woo peacefully. He doubted they would survive a year in such close proximity. And they wouldn't stop kissing. They were both older than Itachi had been when he and Kakashi had become lovers, but Kakashi never remembered Itachi being so immature or kissing so sloppily. But seeing how much the two of them were into it—that Sasuke was surprised him—he decided it wasn't a bad thing. But it went on forever.

"Yo!" Kakashi got closer.

The two broke apart and looked at Kakashi with the utmost horror. He never saw Sasuke emoting so much or his eyes so wide. He enjoyed it.

"We should get over the wall. You two can smooch when you get home."

—

Team Kakashi was sent during the final fight with Akatsuki along with several others. During the fighting, Team Kakashi separated from the others in order to fan out through the Akatsuki base. Itachi met up with them and the five of them—including a very confused Sakura—fought Madara. Itachi and Sasuke delivered the final blow together. They only had a moment to relish the moment of success and having been able to fight together when Itachi sensed other Konoha shinobi approaching.

"You have to kill me," he said.

"What?"

"A near-death genjutsu. Take my 'corpse' back to Konoha. My plan isn't completely ruined; they will trust you more if they believe you killed me."

Sasuke hesitated a moment. "Alright." He looked into Itachi's smiling eyes, then Itachi dropped. Sasuke took a kunai and slashed his own arm to bloody Itachi's clothes; he just prayed no one would look for a wound.

Once home, a weighted coffin was buried in the Uchiha cemetery and that was it for Itachi as far as everyone else was concerned. Kakashi finally had his raven back and Sasuke finally got the stick completely out of his ass now that he no longer had to worry about his brother.

As planned, Itachi became a member of ANBU again when Naruto became Hokage. Itachi's 'death' did earn Sasuke more acceptance, but the ire direct at him was still palpable. He decided to hide out in ANBU as well. Naruto and Sasuke never let on how close they'd become and most people forgot there was any Uchiha left alive. Naruto was Hokage and was able to keep Sasuke at his side. And the four of them were finally happy.

—

If you like happy endings, stop here. I didn't want to do multiple chapters here, so here's the epilogue.

—

The End of Dreams

Naruto thought he was prepared for Sasuke to die; ANBU missions were the most dangerous and he knew there was a good chance Sasuke would die. But when it happened, it was worse than Naruto could have imagined. Luckily, Yamato was there to restrain him before the fourth tail appeared while one of the surviving ANBU reported to him. It was worse than Naruto could have imagined: Sasuke was murdered by a member of his own ANBU squad.

Naruto went personally to Kakashi's home.

"Both of you need to come with me," he told Kakashi when he opened the door.

Itachi came wearing his ANBU uniform and mask. They entered the Hokage's office and all the ANBU there disappeared at Naruto's signal before Itachi entered. Sasuke lay on a plain stretcher, his mask lying beside his head with a blood stain where the sword ran him through the chest.

Naruto had not prepared them for what they would see.

"Sasuke?" Itachi raised his mask and collapsed at Sasuke's side. He put a hand to Sasuke's cheek. It was cold. "Sasuke!" Itachi wept.

Once Itachi calmed down a little, Naruto told them what happened. "They were on a mission. One of the others saw the whole thing."

—

Sasuke still had his duck-butt hair despite some attempt to grow it out. His red Sharingan shone from catlike mask, marking him as an Uchiha—Itachi kept his use of the Sharingan to a minimum. Sasuke was the head of ANBU and led his own squad of elite shinobi.

They were on a mission just outside the Fire Country's border, fighting enemy shinobi. As Sasuke was engaged, one of his men watched as another came up behind Sasuke as he fought with the most powerful of the enemy. Sasuke sensed someone behind him, but knew it was one of his own. Then he sensed the killing intent directed toward him. But he could not react, his blade occupied defending against the enemy in front of him. There was little he could do. The blade ran him through, coming out of his chest. He had the presence of mind to use his enemy's surprise to deliver the final blow.

Sasuke fell to his knees and looked down at the blade sticking out of his chest, very near his heart. Sasuke smiled and said something that shocked his killer and the man nearby who saw the whole thing and reported it to his Hokage.

—

"What did he say?" Itachi struggled to ask.

Naruto was fighting his own emotions and couldn't speak for a minute. "He laughed and said, 'I told you so.'"

Itachi lost it; he wailed and howled over his brother's body. Kakashi bowed his head and wept silently for his favorite student; he couldn't even try to comfort his lover; he knew Itachi wouldn't just throw him off. Inconsolable did not come close to describing Itachi's pain. Naruto looked on, his anger fading to deep sorrow. He stared at his lover's calm face. The only time he ever saw him so peaceful was when he slept. Not always then.

Kakashi took Itachi home when he exhausted himself. Itachi's legs barely had the strength to hold him. Kakashi pulled Itachi's mask over his face. They were still in the Hokage mansion, alone. He shook Kakashi off.

"What does it matter now? My brother's dead! My entire life revolved around my brother and now he's dead! Let the whole village see me, let the whole village revile me! Let them string me up, stone me to death! Sasuke's dead! Why we were born if it was going to end like this? What does it matter if they see my face?"

"Your brother's reputation is all that's left of him now. Let those who think well of him continue to do so."

That calmed Itachi enough to make him wear the mask and not strike out at the passing villagers. Every smile or laugh around him felt like a stab to his heart. What right did anyone have to be happy tonight or ever again? Itachi's star was out.

When they got home, Itachi took off his mask and armor and went to bed. As far as Kakashi could tell, Itachi didn't sleep. Itachi wouldn't move, eat, sleep, or speak except to curse those who killed his brother, ANBU, the village, his clan, his father, Madara, Danzo and the elders, and himself. That went on for days.

Kakashi tried to make Itachi look at him, but he would close his eyes rather than look into Kakashi's Sharingan; Kakashi wanted to use genjutsu to make Itachi believe Sasuke was still alive, even if just for a little while. Anything was better than Itachi's grief. But Itachi just lay there and wasted away. He died there lying in the same position, cursing. Kakashi nearly followed him.

Naruto found three members of ANBU who conspired to kill Sasuke and had them executed. Few other than those who felt obligated to came to Sasuke's funeral. Naruto couldn't keep his eyes from glaring at those shinobi. He remained as Hokage for several more years. Sasuke's death hardened him and it became easier to infuriate him: simply mention the Uchiha. Kakashi was the only thing that kept him from declaring war when his temper frayed.

Finally, Naruto couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't forgive the village that refused to accept Sasuke. Finally, he understood what Sasuke had tried to tell him in the Valley at the End, what loss was and how different it was from the neglect and loneliness Naruto had felt growing up. The loneliness iwas/i different, it was far more painful. He left, not at a missing-nin, but following his master's example, he became a wondering sage. He carried Sasuke's sword and ANBU mask with him until the day he died.

—

I hope you're all satisfied with one of the three endings. It was a little fun in the end to rewrite something like that. I wish I could have brought the original humor back, but I suck at humor and certainly can't sustain it. It's an exercise. Thank you! R&R and check out my other stories.

The 'woo peacefully' is from iMuch Ado About Nothing/i.