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A Simple Language: On the Language and Oral History of the Dementors

By Luna Lovegood - Senior Correspondent, The Quibbler

The language of the Dementors is a primitive one, consisting of approximately 2,040 different breathy exhalations and hoarse rattles that serve as individual words. Abstract concepts—such as love, anger, or beauty—are largely nonexistent, the primary exception being hunger. There are no words for sun, star, or shadow—there is merely light and dark. Because Dementors are asexual, there is no distinction between the sexes. All humans are simply known as man.

Aside from day-to-day communication, the creatures also use their simple language to keep an oral history of major events in the existence of their species. Most recently, the tale most often told is of a gathering during the time of the Serpent Man. Under his orders, they were sent to feed from man in the Southlands.

The incident described above has been identified as an actual event that happened on May 16, 1997. A primary school in the south of London was attacked by the Dementors under Voldemort's control. Several children received the Dementor's kiss—their version of feeding.

This is where the tale gets confusing. The Dementors' history then continues, telling of how they were driven away, but not before half their number was destroyed by the Dark One and the Light One and their Devouring Flame. Despite the coven of Dementors being over 100 strong in number, these two beings refused to yield to their aura. (This word is a difficult one to translate, but it almost certainly refers to the creatures' ability to drain their victims of all happy emotions.)

To this day, they still speak of the Dark Oneand Light One with fear.

When questioned, both the Auror Department and the Department of Mysteries were unable to comment on the veracity of the dark creatures' account of the attack. However, according to reports taken from the scene, there were signs of multiple fires, such as burnt shreds of cloaks, ashes, scorched grass, and blackened pavement.

oOo

Snapping the newspaper shut, Zatanna Zatara—Mistress of Magic—rolled her eyes. She remembered that incident, and she almost felt sorry for those creatures. After all, the article was right—they were rather primitive. How could they ever be expected to understand such advanced concepts as Batman and thermite, or Superman and heat vision?

Zatanna remembered that battle all too clearly. She'd responded to a call about a magical disturbance and had been horrified to see the horde of Dementors swarming the school. She'd immediately put in a call for back-up to the JLA, and within moments both Batman and Superman were there. Being non-magical, they couldn't see the Dementors, but they could still feel their happiness-draining aura and the cold they produced.

The two heroes were amazing. With no fear for themselves, they waded into the midst of the creatures, Batman throwing thermite pellets and Superman shooting heat vision at every cold spot they encountered. It was only because Zee knew the two men that she could see the strain on their faces as they resisted the creatures' effects. She knew that both warriors had a slew of bad memories to call on, yet they never faltered. They doggedly continued their forward charge, leaving a host of smoldering remains in their wake.

Zatanna shivered as she remembered the Dementors' high-pitched death wails. For a moment, she considered tossing the paper in the nearest trash can, but a fond smile touched her lips and she folded it neatly and slid it into her purse instead. Knowing Bruce, he'd want to add it to his files.

oOo

Author's Note: This is a silly little ficlet that popped into my mind while waiting to see my optometrist. It took all of twenty minutes to write out and hasn't been betaed, so please pardon any typos.