A/N – Alright, this is different than anything I've ever done before. It is a five part series that all takes place in one day. The way this idea formed was as if this was actually the show each part would be one day of the week. The part in italics is like a voice over that you hear as the show starts and finishes. It is supposed to be Johnny's voice. I think that explains everything, so now, on to the story! I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear your thoughts!

9am

Have you ever woken up one day and wondered how you got to where you are? Wondered what you could have done differently to change the outcome?

Johnny was lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Lulu was always the first thing on his mind when he woke up, but today was different. Today he couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't look next to him at Olivia and remember that he wasn't good enough for Lulu. He didn't want to look at Olivia at all. He didn't want to be with Olivia at all.

His relationship with Olivia was simple and that's the reason he kept it going. There was no love or affection. It was all about sex and short term satisfaction. He didn't have to feel and he enjoyed that. Feeling was not something he ever wanted to do again. He used to love the fact that Lulu made him feel because the feelings were so wonderful. Now the feelings that Lulu evoked were miserable. The pain, emptiness and longing. And the worst one: regret.

He regretted every mistake he had made along the road that led to him losing Lulu. His mind wandered to the perfect New Year's Eve they had spent together. They vowed to never start the new year with regret. Another broken promise. He could never start another year without regretting the fact that he wasn't starting it with the love of his life.

Olivia shifted next to him and tried to put her arm across his upper body. Johnny instantly moved away from her and got out of bed. His movements woke her and she looked up at him in confusion. Instead of speaking, he quickly dressed and headed for the living room. She got out of bed, put on her robe and followed him.

"Where the hell are you going in such a hurry?" Olivia asked.

"To work," Johnny said shortly.

"It's early," Olivia groaned. "You should stay longer."

"It's not early," Johnny argued. "I should have been there already. You should have been at work an hour ago."

"Jax doesn't mind if I'm not there on time as long as I get my work done," Olivia replied.

"How do you get your work done if you're never there?" Johnny questioned.

"I'm there plenty," Olivia said defensively. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Johnny snapped. "What's wrong with you?"

"You're what's wrong," Olivia yelled. "You think you can yell at me in my own place?"

"If you remember, I was trying to leave your place," Johnny responded. "If you weren't so desperate to keep me here I would be gone."

"You're calling me desperate?" Olivia laughed. "Why are you spending time with me? Because you're desperate not to be alone."

"I can be alone," Johnny said sharply. "I can't be here anymore."

"What does that mean?" Olivia wondered.

"It means don't call me or ask me to come over," Johnny answered. "I'm not the one who can't be alone."

"What caused this?" Olivia prodded. "Did you dream about Lulu again?"

Johnny closed his eyes slowly. He had to admit Olivia knew him pretty well. Johnny always woke up angry when he dreamed of Lulu. Angry because the wonderful life he always pictured would never become a reality. But this time it wasn't a dream about Lulu that had him lashing out. It was the memories of his life with Lulu.

"No," Johnny replied. "I just realized that it isn't fair to use you the way that I do."

"And how is that?" Olivia asked.

"As a distraction," Johnny said softly. "I know you use me in the same way, but I don't want to do that anymore. I'm tired of living a lie."

"I'm not the only reason you're living a lie," Olivia noted.

"Maybe you're not the only thing in my life that I'm changing," Johnny countered.

"So that's it?" Olivia wondered. "You're going to walk away without a second thought?"

"I've given it a lot of thought," Johnny responded. "I'm making a decision that I should have made a long time ago."

"And what decision is that?" Olivia questioned.

"To stop living in fear," Johnny answered.

With those words he turned and left Olivia's apartment without looking back. There was nothing to look back to. It wasn't like when he had broken up with Lulu and had stared at her door for ten minutes, listening to her fight with Maxie. Or in the days that followed when he would find himself at the apartment, desperately wanting to rush in and beg for another chance. It wasn't like that because he knew there was nothing left for him with Olivia. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't convince himself there was nothing left for him with Lulu.

Because if there was nothing left with Lulu, there was nothing left for him at all.

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Lulu stomped into Crimson and fell into her chair. She kicked off the heels that were her feet's enemy at the moment. Her car hadn't started, so she had to walk to work. The coffee stand was so busy, she had to go out of her way to Kelly's to get Kate's espresso. To top it off, her purse strap had busted and she had dropped all of her things on the ground. All of it would have been bearable had her purse not contained the picture of Johnny.

In the picture, Johnny was showing off his heart stopping smile and looking as happy as Lulu had ever seen him. They had spent a lazy day in the apartment and Lulu had gotten out the camera after Johnny pointed out there were no pictures of the two of them together. They had taken all kinds of goofy pictures, but this one had been Lulu's favorite because it was natural. He didn't even realize she was taking it and he was just smiling at her in the way she loved most.

Now all that smile did was break her heart all over again.

She knew she should take the picture out of her bag, but she didn't have the strength. It was her final reminder of Johnny and she didn't want to let go of him yet. Even if she knew she should. She couldn't let go of the future she had dreamed of having with him and the more she tried to move on, the more she dwelt in the past. She couldn't help but believe no matter what, her heart would always belong to Johnny.

She came out of her thoughts when the elevator door opened and Kate walked into the office. She didn't even speak to Lulu. She just took her coffee and walked into her office and closed the door behind her. Lulu rolled her eyes and sat down to begin working. Maxie breezed into the office on cloud nine and Lulu glared at her.

"Why are you so happy?" Lulu wondered.

"Because I love my job and my boyfriend," Maxie beamed.

"Don't you mean fiancée?" Lulu smirked.

"You always have to kill my mood," Maxie grumbled.

"Sorry," Lulu offered. "I'm just having a bad day and I wanted to share it."

"What's wrong?" Maxie asked in what appeared to be concern.

"A lot of bad luck this morning," Lulu answered. "The worst being my car not starting."

"Well it's not like you don't know a mechanic," Maxie pointed out. "I'm sure Johnny would give you a good rate."

"I'm not taking my car to Johnny's garage," Lulu replied. "I haven't spoken to him in months."

"Well, who else are you going to take it to?" Maxie wondered.

"I'll find someone," Lulu shrugged.

"I think you should take it to Johnny," Maxie advised. "He probably needs the business and you two are adults. You can be in a room together without hashing up old memories and fighting."

"I don't know," Lulu said softly. "I just hate the awkwardness that is always there when we see each other."

"The only way to make it stop being awkward is to see each other more often," Maxie responded. "Before you two started dating, you were best friends. Maybe if you could go back to being friends things would be easier."

"We were never really just friends," Lulu noted. "We said we were, but it wasn't true. Plus, how am I supposed to be friends with someone I'm still in love with? Especially since he has moved on."

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Johnny walked into his garage and slammed the door shut behind him. He was still thinking about Lulu as he moved to sit behind his desk. He needed to do paperwork for the garage, but he couldn't focus. There were so many things going through his mind and the last one was putting his receipts in order. He heard the door open and groaned before looking up to see Spinelli standing in the doorway.

"Does the Mob Prince wish for the Jackal to come back at another time?" Spinelli wondered.

"No, stay," Johnny replied. "I'm just having a bad day."

"Perhaps the Jackal can lend a listening ear," Spinelli suggested.

"You don't want to hear about it," Johnny shook his head.

"Or the Mob Prince does not wish to talk about it," Spinelli muttered.

"Maybe that's it," Johnny admitted. "I don't want to think about it, so talking about it seems like a bad idea."

"What's the nature of your distress?" Spinelli asked.

"Lulu," Johnny answered. "I've been thinking about her a lot lately and I really don't know why."

"Are the thoughts of the Original Blonde One happy?" Spinelli inquired.

"Some of them," Johnny responded. "Sometimes I think about all of the great times we had together. But most of the time it's the day we broke up and all I can think about is the pain I caused her."

"When was the last time the Mob Prince spoke to Fair Lulu?" Spinelli questioned.

"A long time ago," Johnny frowned. "We kind of avoid each other."

"The Blonde One mentioned that," Spinelli said softly.

"She talks about me?' Johnny asked.

"At times," Spinelli replied. "Most often when she is showing signs of sadness."

"So I make her feel bad," Johnny sighed. "I never wanted that, you know? I wanted to make her happy. Happier than she had ever been."

"Does Fair Lulu know this sentiment of the Mob Prince?" Spinelli wondered.

"She used to," Johnny answered. "I used to promise her I would always make her happy. She believed me. Hell, I believed me. I thought I could make her happier than anyone else could, but I was lying to myself. I just hurt her worse than anyone."

"The Jackal should leave the Mob Prince to his pain," Spinelli said quietly.

"Didn't you come by for a reason?" Johnny asked.

"Only to discuss the Jackal's coming choice of automobiles," Spinelli responded.

"You're buying a car?" Johnny questioned.

"It is on the Jackal's to-do list," Spinelli smiled.

"What kind?" Johnny prodded, happy to talk about something other than his problems.

"The Jackal is in distress about the final decision," Spinelli replied. "Does the Mob Prince have any suggestions?"

"When I buy a car all I care about is if it goes fast," Johnny laughed. "But you probably want other things which means I can't help you."

"The Jackal is thankful for the Mob Prince's input," Spinelli offered. "Farewell."

"Bye," Johnny said as Spinelli left.

Johnny looked back at his paperwork and sighed. Now he really couldn't focus on anything but Lulu.

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"Lulu, go downstairs and get me the dress from the boutique that's on hold for Crimson," Kate yelled from her office.

Lulu rolled her eyes and stood up. She made her way over to the elevator, glancing at Maxie who was lost in another wedding magazine. Lulu got in the elevator and her mind wandered to Johnny. They had already planned their wedding together when they were in New York City. Lulu had told him she wanted a small ceremony with only family and he had suggested the Haunted Star because of how much it meant to them. Lulu had asked him when the wedding was going to happen and he said he was going to propose when she least expected it. Lulu had to hold back the tears. She sure didn't expect it now.

The elevator doors opened and she composed herself as she hurried to the boutique. She picked up the dress that Kate had asked for and hurried back toward the elevator. She rounded the corner and ran into someone, knocking everything out of their hands.

"I'm so sor-" Lulu started, but the words died on her lips.

"It's okay," Olivia smiled. "I should have been paying attention to where I was going."

"I shouldn't have been in such a hurry," Lulu countered.

"I bet Kate has you working like a dog," Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

"I like my job," Lulu shrugged. "Whatever she asks me to do, I do."

"That's a good attitude," Olivia said, bending down to gather her papers.

"I didn't mess these up did I?" Lulu asked, helping her pick the papers up.

"The only thing you messed up was Johnny," Olivia muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Lulu questioned.

"Have you spoken to Johnny lately?" Olivia wondered.

"No," Lulu answered. "Why would you ask me that?"

"He was just acting strange the way he does when you're on his mind," Olivia said softly. "I thought maybe you two had seen each other and it had rattled him."

"Well we didn't," Lulu replied. "And I doubt he was thinking about me."

"He was thinking about you," Olivia said firmly. "He's always thinking about you."

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Johnny was roaming around his garage aimlessly, drinking a beer. It was early in the day, but he was hoping that the alcohol could take his mind off of Lulu. It wasn't helping. Her face was there every time he shut his eyes and it haunted him. He wanted to make up for everything he had done wrong, but he didn't know how.

"Johnny," a voice said from behind him and he jumped.

"Are you trying to scare me to death?" Johnny asked, turning around.

"Anyone could kill you with you lost in thought like that," Jason noted. "You didn't even hear me coming."

"I've got a lot on my mind," Johnny sighed. "What do you need?"

"Sonny wants you to run a shipment tomorrow night," Jason replied. "Can you do that?"

"I don't know," Johnny answered.

"What does that mean?" Jason wondered.

"I'm really distracted," Johnny explained. "I don't know if I can focus long enough to land a shipment."

"What has you so distracted?" Jason inquired.

"I don't think you really want to know," Johnny smirked.

"If it's about Olivia and Sonny, I don't," Jason responded.

"It's not about that," Johnny shook his head. "It's Lulu."

"Did something happen?" Jason asked.

"No," Johnny frowned. "That's the problem."

"I don't think I understand," Jason muttered.

"I'm just starting to wish I could go back," Johnny breathed. "But no matter how much I want to, I can't."

What's worse than wondering what you could have done differently? Knowing the exact answer and still not being able to change things.