Yet another fanfiction class masterpiece. Again, it was amusing at the time and still is. I pat myself on the back for my surviving wit.

SPOILERS FOR THE END (sort of) OF LEGEND OF ZELDA: TWILIGHT PRINCESS. And Twilight, I guess.

Mine, these people are not.

"Hey! Link!"

A shrill voice yanked Link away from the rupee-laden wastelands of his dreams. Rubbing his eyes, he fumbled over to the window. One of the Ordonian children, the slightly off-putting one with a questionable choice in barbers, stood below. Link stared down at the child, waiting for him to continue.

"There has been a message from Princess Zelda! She wants you to come to Hyrule Castle at once!"

Link paused for a moment, and then, giving a dependable nod, went to get dressed.

Epona let out a joyous whinny as Link spurred her forth, the momentous bulk of Hyrule Castle appearing on the horizon. It had been a while since his last visit. He took a moment to ponder what Zelda might need him for, but came up blank. Hyrule had been peaceful since Link's most recent conquest of the vile Ganondorf.

The young hero figured he would have heard from various other sources if something drastically bad was going on, and so took to wondering if perhaps the princess just wanted to see his face… He lost himself for a moment in a mental montage of rescues gone right, but was shaken from his fond memories as Epona jolted to a stop in front of the gates. Thus, the Hero of Time dismounted and dashed away to meet his new fate.

"Welcome, Link, champion of Hyrule. Thank you for coming on such short notice." Zelda was resplendent as usual, but her soft eyes currently shone with worry.

Link nodded fervently in response; when summoned, what else could one do but answer? Certainly there were no others quite as experienced at adventuring as the mighty Link, and those eyes made it clear that his skills were needed once more.

The princess clasped her hands. "I will not mince words. A message came from the Gerudo Desert outpost. It seems that the portal to the World of Twilight has reactivated of its own accord. I would like you to go investigate this happening."

Link stood there for a moment in shock, soaking in her words. This made no sense at all. The Twilight portal could not possibly be reopened because the giant mirror used to open it had been shattered beyond repair! Link had observed its destruction with his own eyes, as had Zelda. And to this end, he looked askance at the princess.

She looked back at him, lips set in a tense line, and Link realized just how shaken she was by this news. Her mind must have jumped immediately to Ganon, as Link's did now, considering the possibility of his return and… no! It was impossible. Ganon was no more. And it usually took him longer to pop back into existence than the current timeline allowed.

But the mirror should likewise have been no more, and by what other means could the portal be reopened? The matter begged inquiry.

Link laid a reassuring hand on Zelda's shoulder. She gave him a heartening smile in return and wished him luck.

Upon arrival to the chamber that housed the erstwhile mirror, Link felt a wave of apprehension rush under his skin, which promptly crashed upon his innards and made his knees go slightly wobbly. Normally he could sally forth and vanquish whatever he was up against with barely even a prickle of fear, so this roiling nervousness he felt only put him more on edge. But the situation had been completely unanticipated, not to mention completely unreasonable; who wouldn't start feeling a bit out of sorts when his world abruptly ceased to be logical? Even so, the Hero of Time knew what had to be done. He would not shy away from his duty.

The guards began to babble as soon as Link approached, but he ignored them in favor of scoping out the scene. The platform and steps leading up to the portal were again lit with those strange designs, looking much the same as they had the last time Link had come in contact with them. The stand that once held the mirror, however, remained as empty as ever. The whole affair was steeped in peculiarity.

Waving off the guards, Link took a deep breath and climbed the steps. As soon as he reached the top, the designs adorning the steps glowed fiercely, and with that blinding flash, he was gone.

As his pixels pieced themselves back together, Link could feel a drizzly chill in the air around him. Inhaling, he realized that he smelled wet earth and the distinctly crisp smell one only encounters around large forests. None of this was reminiscent of the Twilight World he remembered; as far as he could recall, that permanently dusky otherworld had been curiously bare as far as one's senses were concerned.

As soon as he was fully intact, Link peered around, eyes searching for anything remotely familiar, but his efforts were in vain. He did not know what this place was; he just knew that it could not possibly be the world the portal had originally led to. The colors were all wrong; the varying shades of sunset had been replaced with drab earth tones. And Twilight World contained nothing that even remotely resembled a tree, save for some of its less appealing inhabitants (but they were not green, so it was a rather difficult mistake to make anyway).

Even so, his location was of little importance right now. What he really needed was to find out how the portal had been opened, who had opened it, and whether or not this person was evil. Thus, with a purpose in mind and sensing no immediate threat, Link dashed forward, intent on finding someone who could clue him in to what was going on (hopefully). He stopped, however, upon perceiving six figures dead ahead, approaching with incredible speed.

As anyone in a strange land with an inkling of sense would, Link took to arms. He hefted his shield in one hand; with the other, he drew his weapon of choice, the Master Sword. Link was gratified to see that the blade still retained a measure of the light it had been imbued with on its last trip through the Twilight portal; the power to cut through shadows would come in handy in a dim place such as this.

The six figures skidded to a halt in front of Link. Their features were striking even in the bad lighting and suspiciously sharp. A flash of lightning, prologue to a coming storm, reflected harshly off of their marble-white skin and into the young hero's eyes. Blinking the spots away from his vision, Link scanned the line they had formed: three males and three females. Of the males, one was rather large, but no bigger than any of the goblins Link had encountered on previous quests; the other two males were slim in build and did not worry him very much.

But as much as he approved of equality between the sexes, Link did not understand why the females were there. Whether blonde, brunette, or raven, not one of them looked like they could hold their own in a fight, and the hero highly doubted they could hide any effective weapons on their person, given how tight their clothes were fitting.

…In fact, not one of the six creatures in front of him seemed to be armed at all, and not one of them seemed to be worried about it either. Six pairs of golden eyes scrutinized him; six pairs of pale hands flexed with uncalled-for malice.

"Is this who you saw, Alice?" A smooth, threatening voice issued from one of the more slender males. The raven-haired female gave the tiniest nod of assent. The male kept his eyes focused resolutely on Link, but he seemed to have caught the gesture anyway. "So… who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Did the Volturi send you?" The brunette female stepped forward, only to be stopped by the male who had spoken. He looked at her in warning, but she must have missed it as she turned back to Link, rage burning in her unsettling eyes. "Have they decided to break their promise after all? Well? HAVE THEY?"

Link jumped as her shriek rang out, but began laying out the details they were giving him in his head. This female had obviously been wronged by these Volturi creatures, but Link was not one of them and so would not answer for whatever crime they had committed.

…But there was a distinct possibility that the Volturi were the ones who had opened the portal! Perhaps that was what the female was so angry about; maybe this oath that the Volturi supposedly broke had something to do with the portal being active again.

When Link began paying attention to his surroundings again, he noticed that the six creatures were dangerously still. Realizing that he had not yet displayed his position in the matter that was currently up for discussion, Link shook his head at the lot of them, even going so far as to sheathe his sword to add believability to his claim; he was only exploring, after all. The blonde female sneered at this gesture.

"Why are you wearing that idiotic costume, Volturi scum? Take it off so we can get serious."

Link's eyes widened at this. His body held its stance, but his mind whirled, trying to fathom a legitimate reason why stripping down would ever be appropriate in battle.

"Settle down, Rosalee. There's no need to be rude. The same goes for you, Bella." The original speaking male spoke once more. The brunette at his side (Bella, he called her) grabbed his arm.

"You're acting strange, Edward. What's wrong? Is he really here for Renesmee? Are they planning to try and take her?" There was a heartbreaking quality to the brunette's voice, sounding low under the cover of rain. Link wondered who Renesmee was. A princess who, more often than not, would gladly sacrifice herself to protect her country, even if it were only for a short while? One who needed a bold hero around to rescue and protect her when this happened? This world's version of Zelda?

"-I mean, I can hear him thinking, but it's just a bunch of gabbling noises." Link came back to himself as the male (Edward?) spoke again. The biggest one made an explosive sound; it was probably intended to be a laugh, but rang with a bit too much rancor to be so.

"So… Plan B?"

Link barely had time to throw up his shield as the large one lunged at him. The force of the creature's raw power rattled through Link's arm as he was knocked onto his back. As he got to his feet, the hero noticed that his shield was in two pieces… his metal shield. He looked up again and eyed the creature, whose teeth were glinting eerily in a cruel parody of a smile.

"I guess they didn't warn you before sending you over here, but that was just an example of how we Cullen vampires fight. And normally, we'd go a bit easier on you, but your bosses have pressed one too many of our buttons for us to let this go."

The one called Edward began to circle slowly towards Link's vulnerable back. "Sorry, but we can't let you go scurrying back to Italy. If you tattled, they'd come back and bother us again. We can't have that, now can we?" The others agreed in a sinister fashion, all hunching into predator mode.

Link logged 'vampire' and 'Italy' in his memory for later perusal, drawing his sword once more. They leapt, almost as one being! And the fight was on.

Zelda paced nervously. She had decided to travel to the mirror chamber, there to await the return of the valiant Link. Of course, she did not know how long it would take him, but her nerves would not allow her to rest in her far-away castle. She needed to be on location, making sure nothing dangerous came through the portal before Link did. She had a duty to her country. And so she would watch and wait until Link…

"Link!"

With a momentary intensification of light, the great hero descended from nothing, bare (and strangely glittering) sword in hand. As the worry-ridden gaze of the princess fell upon him, the brightly glowing designs on the steps began to fade noticeably. By the time she arrived at his side, the new portal was only as responsive as the rock it was carved on.

Link took in a breath of relief. He was not quite sure what had just come to pass and he elected to leave the logistics of this occurrence to the more magic-oriented types to figure out.

The princess had a million questions in her eyes, but Link could only shake his head. He was still puzzling over the basis of that fight (barring his lack of communication skills), but there was one thing he knew for sure: the Master Sword tinted with light was more than enough to kill a vampire.