Never look back, never look down, and never let go. Post-season 5 finale, possible season 6 spoilers, will possibly follow some season 6 s/l. D/L, some Smacked, and eventually Flack/OC. Rated M for language and possible later chapters.

A/N: This is my first ever attempt at writing fanfiction, so reviews and pointers would be greatly appreciated, but please don't be too harsh. =] I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don not own CSI:NY or any of the charcters or storylines seen on the show. haha I WISH! This is done purely for the entertainment of myself and hopefully my readers, i gain no other profit from it. =]

Chapter 1

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

You have got to be kidding me! Don Flack thought, standing outside of the Emergency Room doors.

He took a deep breath and walked through. Once inside, he wanted to do nothing else but turn around and walk back out.

No, Danny and Lindsay need me. Don kept telling himself, again and again, until he could force himself to walk down that hallway.

This night had been the worst night of his life, following some of the worst days of his life. They even beat the day he got trapped in the building with the bomb, because at least he couldn't remember most of that.

It didn't matter that they had found the guys who killed Jess; it didn't even matter that he had killed the one that had put the killer bullet through her, she was still gone. And now he was back in the hospital she had died in, and his best friend was in surgery, trying to save the use of his legs.

The team had all gone down to Sullivan's to "celebrate Jessica Angell's life", but they all new that Flack had only gone to get drunk and forget everything that had happened.

Then, in the middle of Stella's heartbreaking toast, some asshole drove by and gunned down the bar.

Those moments seemed to pass in slow motion, and the entire time, Flack could only think two things:

Maybe if I get hit, I'll die and all the pain will go away. And,

Please don't let me lose one of these people; I won't be able to handle it.

But, of course, someone was hit, and it just happened to be Danny. Yes, Flack loved every one of the team members and he would be heartbroken to lose any one of them, but Danny was his best friend, and him dying would undoubtedly push Don over the edge.

Luckily, Danny was alive, but in his instinct to protect his wife, he had taken a bullet to the spine.

As Flack made his way to the waiting room, he couldn't help but reflect over his conflicting thoughts.

I want to thank God for keeping Danny alive, but I want to curse Him for taking Jess away from me.

Don had never been overtly religious but he had always believed in God, and the idea that everything happens for a reason, but where is the reason in taking Jess away from him?

Alright, enough with these thoughts. I need to focus on being here for Danny and Lindsay, in any way I can.

Don walked the rest of the way to the waiting room with his head held high, determined to be strong.

When Don walked into the room, almost all eyes turned to him. Stella and Adam, who were sitting on one of the couches, looked up at him with sympathetic eyes. Hawkes and Sid, who were both chatting with a nurse, surely about medical stuff which he would never understand, glanced up, and Hawkes just gave him a solemn nod. The only person who didn't acknowledge his arrival was Mac, who was currently holding Lucy Messer.

Don smiled slightly at the sight of Mac and Lucy, just as he did every time he saw them having a "Lucy moment", as Flack had named it. Lucy mostly reserved those moments for her parents and Mac, but every once in a while Don would have one of those moments and it was a much cherished thing among the family that was his team. The first time he had witnessed a "Lucy moment" Flack had asked Mac why he was so intently staring into Lucy's eyes, because he was perplexed and slightly shocked that anyone could keep her attention for that long.

Mac had told him, In those eyes, you can see trust and love that is so incredibly unconditional that it's hard to look away. In her eyes, you can see everything that is right with the world.

Since that day, he had noticed that unless something very important needed their attention, not one person on the team could find it in their heart to look away from Lucy Messer's intent gaze until she blinked. Sometimes he found himself amazed with how long Lucy would go without blinking or looking away, just as she was intently focused on Mac right now. It was as if she could sense the emotions in the room and that everyone needed a little reminder of the right in the world.

And with that, Lucy blinked and Mac looked up at Don and smiled the lightest of smiles, almost as if to say, Lucy's right.

Without a word spoken between them, Mac handed Lucy off to Don. Mac went in search of coffee and Don took his seat, and instantly became entranced in Lucy's gaze. Lucy held Don's gaze until her eyes started to droop, and he just enjoyed the warmth and softness of the baby girl in his arms.

"I'm surprised it took her this long to fall asleep." Stella said quietly, as she sat down in the chair next to Don.

"Yeah, it's a bit late for her to be awake." Don replied.

"Not only that, she's been giving everyone their fair share of 'Lucy moments'."

"Do you think she knows? I mean, I know she's just a baby, but I feel like she understands what's going on."

"I get what you mean. I think most babies can sense emotions, but she's really tuned in to all of us. Don, I think you should go home."

"No, Danny and Lindsay need me here."

"You've been through a lot and I'm sure they would understand if you went home."

"There are three reasons I can't and won't go home."

"Are you going to enlighten me?"

"My place smells like Jess. These past few months have been amazing. I don't think we've spent a night apart for the past three weeks, and I'm not sure I could handle being in my place right now."

"Okay, I understand that. The other two reasons?"

"Well, I have to see for myself that Mr. Invincible Danny Messer is alright. And, I need to talk to Lindsay. She's not just a co-worker or my best friend's wife, anymore. She's my second best friend, and she was also really close with Jess. Plus, she's got this way about her. Whenever I'm down she gives me her sympathy but she doesn't let me feel sorry for myself, and then she always finds a way to make me laugh. I don't really know how to explain it."

"I completely understand." Stella agrees, "Lindsay Monroe is our little family's buoy. I don't know how she does it without drowning herself, but she keeps us afloat."

"Exactly."

Just then, Lucy stirred. She opened her eyes and instantly reached for Stella. As Don handed the baby over, Lucy reached up and put her hand to his cheek, and made an mm mm sound.

Stella lightly chuckled and said, "I think she's telling you to go talk to her Mama."

"Okay, I will."

Just as he was getting up, Mac walked back into the room with Adam in tow and two trays full of coffee.

"Here," Mac said, handing Don two steaming cups, "Last time I saw her she was just around the corner and down by the surgery doors."

"Alright thanks. Um, do you really think coffee from the hospital cafeteria is such a good idea?" Flack tried to lighten the mood, before he left the room.

"It's from the coffee shop on the next block, Don, now go."

Don took one last look around the waiting room, and noticed the slight smiles on everyone's faces.

It worked. Yeah, this is family. Now, we're just missing our buoy and our wiseass. Don thought, and sadly added, and our angel. God, I miss her.

A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter. Let me know what you think. =]