Disclaimer: this time for the whole story, I'm getting tired to repeat me in every chapter *gg* So nothing is mine ^^
A huge thank you to ncislove for taking time to beta ^^
A/N: I don't know when I'm able to update, since I started studing in the mornings and working in the evenings, so depends on when I'm able to get online, but I try to hurry.
Hope you guys like it!
R&R!
-
Diary secrets
-
The lab was empty, but the music was blaring out of the new sound system Abs had just bought and installed.
The senior field agent in him figured she couldn't be far away.
With the favourite drink of his personal favourite human being, he crossed the distance to her workbench and placed the plastic cup next to her keyboard.
-
A little open book caught his attention.
The two open pages were full of Abby's handwriting.
He didn't know she wrote a diary.
His eyes wandered to the beginning of the page.
The first few words attracted his attention and he read the complete sentence.
-
He didn't know why but after the first sentence he wasn't able to stop reading anymore.
Silently he swore about the lack of his glasses, which were, of course in his top drawer some floors upstairs.
He read anyway.
--
I think I gave up hope but that doesn't mean that it is getting any easier, on the contrary.
During the days, I can at least try to avoid thinking about you, I fail miserable but at least I try.
During the nights, I don't really have the control about my thoughts and feelings and it shows.
I can't say that there are many nights without you in my dreams, not that I'm complaining, just another thing that makes it harder.
I live for the moments you come to see me, I know you come for the results, I just hope you like coming down to me.
-
'Of course I do' He thought while he sat down on her chair and continued to read.
-
The pecks on the cheek are the highlight of my day, which is another reason you'll never know, I wouldn't survive the loss of our proximity.
The times when we are going out with the team or spending time together in your basement are the best days of my month.
Hollis came and those nights became rare.
-
'Abs'
-
I'm not jealous when you're with someone else, I never was. I don't have the right to be.
On some level I was happy for you when you were with Hollis, the only thing that bothered me was that our nights lessened, they never did before no matter with whom you were.
Let's say that fact didn't really help to like her, I'm really sorry I didn't like her but I couldn't help it.
I wish I would find the courage to tell you but since I'm fairly certain you don't feel the same, I'm not going to make our friendship awkward.
I wouldn't survive losing you.
-
'You should know better Abs'
-
I feel safe when you're around.
You asked me once why I always seem to fall asleep when I come over… It's because I feel nowhere else as safe as I feel when I'm with you or in the same house as you.
To be honest I think these are the only days in the month when I'm able to sleep without problems, but you won't find that out either…
I still can remember the look when you found out how bad I sleep when you guys are in danger, which seems to be every other day…
-
When I'm feeling down, which you seem to always know, you come down to my lab without the musketeers and you offer me your ear; sometimes it is really tempting to just tell you, in fact I would love to tell you, but I don't dare.
I never imagined me as a woman who falls that hard for a man that it becomes impossible to concentrate on a life without said person.
Shocking enough, since I realized I'm in love with you I even haven't been with another man, I simply can't.
It feels like betraying you, which is more than ridiculous since we are not even dating.
-
He moved uneasy from one side to the other side of the chair.
Hell, I don't even know why I am writing this down, probably to get it off my chest.
It's not like you are ever going to read it anyway.
-
He placed the book back on the counter and left the lab in a hurry.
With a punch on the button he called for the elevator, luckily the doors opened in an instant.
The moment the doors had closed and the cabin had moved, he applied the emergency switch.
With a heavy sigh he leaned his forehead against the cool metal of the cubicle.
Abs. His Abs was in love with him.
He never thought that she could possible be in love with him.
Let's face it, he was and always would be a bastard.
He couldn't see what she saw in him.
True, he was nicer to her but he still was a bastard.
What should he do now?
He couldn't tell her that he feels the same.
He shouldn't tell her and he wouldn't tell her.
Maybe…
They needed to talk, soon.
--
Abby stepped out of the shadow of her ballistics lab.
He wasn't supposed to read it. She had seen him coming in the lab with a delivery of a drink, that moment she realized she had left the diary open on her desk.
She considered stopping him from reading by entering, but the suicidal part in her let him read the lines, to let him know what she was feeling.
-
Witnessing the emotions on his face was a rollercoaster ride. At some points they were soft and full of surprise, hope and love. But when he left he looked confused and maybe almost pissed, somehow.
Should she show him that she knew he read or not.
Abby just hoped he would not act differently towards her.
-
The rest of the afternoon went by slowly.
In the squad room Gibbs stared at Tony's report for the last hour without reading it, while Abby stared down on the pages of her diary; both thinking about what to do.
Eventually Gibbs got to his feet, told, while passing, the team to go home in an hour and headed for the front elevator.
Basement, he needed to think.
Abby stayed in till her regular work time had ended.
At least in body, her mind was with Gibbs.
Whatever, he read it why not find out where I stand ...hmm… maybe trying to talk at least, as long as it doesn't end in the end of our friendship…
-
So what you think so far ?
push the little button and leave me a review *gg* ok this just sounds like I'm begging for reviews ^^