Set immediately after Syed's "are you going to ask me home?" line

Chapter 1

Walking home from the police station, there was an obvious awkwardness between the two men. There was a lot unsaid between them, but neither one had the heart to say anything. Fighting the urge to reach out and grab each other's hands, they made their way through the square, silently praying that they would not be seen by Amira or Zainab.

Christian turned the key in the lock, surprised to find his hands trembling slightly. He had never felt like this. He could take it or leave it, but not this time. The knot in his stomach had been growing since their first kiss, gradually getting tighter, eventually tying a binding knot around his heart. He'd tried to ignore his feelings and respect the other man's wishes, but it was too hard. At every opportunity, Christian would corner the young Muslim and try to convince the man that the only way to be happy was to be yourself.

Christian Clarke, 30 something, and to be completely honest, a bit of a man's man, was nervous. His brow was sweating and his hands were shaking. That's what he gets for falling in love with Syed Masood, 20 something, a supposedly straight Muslim.

The same Syed Masood carefully placed a hand on top of Christian's, as if to calm the shaking. Christian gave Syed a quick squeeze of reassurance and let them both into his flat.

"Thank You" said Christian, with sincerity in his eyes.

"For what?" Syed asked.

"Coming with me today, you didn't have to wait, you know,"

"I know, I wanted to though," Syed mumbled.

A smile tugged at Christian's lips. He was going to have some fun with this.

"The policeman who interviewed me was hot" stated Christian casually.

"what?" Syed said, trying, but failing, to sound indifferent.

"The policeman was….wait, are you jealous, Sy?" laughed Christian, "I didn't know you cared!"

"Me? Wh…Why would I be jealous?" stuttered Syed.

Christian inched closer to Syed.

"Not a clue," said Christian.

He took one final step forward. He was now close enough to feel the heat radiating from Syed's body. Accidentally or purposely, it didn't matter, Christian's fingers brushed Syed's and a shiver ran up his back like a bolt of lightning. Syed's breathing became ragged, he placed his hand lightly on Christian's bruise above his eye as he closed the gap between them as their lips met. As Christian went to lace his arms around Syed's waist to pull him closer, all that was left to grab was thin air.

Christian opened his eyes to find Syed sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. He walked slowly over to where Syed was sitting and placed a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder.

" I get that this is hard for you," Christian said quietly, " help me to understand."

Suddenly, Syed broke away from Christian's grasp and jumped up from the sofa.

" Help you to understand ?" Syed cried. " I don't understand it myself. All my life I've been a good Muslim, said my prayers, helped my mother , agreed to start seeing Amira to please my family , then you came along and ruined everything . Do you any idea how are this is for me ? What this is , is not right, it's Haram !

When delivering that last word Syed tried to put as much loathing into it as he could but when he eventually said it his voice threatened to break and it came out as a mere whimper.

The moment that syed's voice gave way Christians heart broke like it had never done before. He ignored the desire to take him into his arms and tell him everything was going to be fine because in all honesty he didn't know this for sure. Things may turn out fine for Syed. He could marry Amira, have beautiful children and be filthy rich but if Christian lost what he had with Syed that was it for him. No alternative, no other man, no other soul mate. Out of the blue came a surge of anger.

"Hard for you ?" shouted Christian, " I have to watch you with Amira while I prepare the onion bhajis for zainab !"

"Stop." Syed pleaded.

"No!" cried Christian, " I'm not the one who invited you back here Syed, you did that all by yourself. What did you want to do ? Play monopoly ? Watch telly ?"

Syed looked to be on the verge of tears.

" I don't care what we do…" Syed paused , " …as long as I'm with you I don't care."

Christian was shocked. Syed was finally facing his feelings but he decided that he wouldn't read to far into this comment as he didn't want to get his hopes up again, only to have them dashed. The casual approach seemed the best option in Christian's mind.

" Let's watch some telly then" said Christian attempting to sound nonchalant.

"Fine." said Syed with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

Christian smirked.

The pair sat in silence for what seemed like forever. The awkwardness that was between them earlier had been replaced with a tension that was almost unexplainable. The seconds between the not so subtle glances were decreasing and Syed seemed to have inched slightly closer to Christian's end of the sofa.

" Christian ?" Syed asked .

"yes ?"

" Are we really going to watch the telly ? Syed asked a smile forming on his face.

Christian couldn't believe his ears. Was that really a suggestive edge he had heard in Syed's voice ?

" I don't know about you, but it's not the telly that I've been watching" he answered truthfully.

He raised his head and his eyes locked with Syed's. There was no mistaking the look that was in his eyes. He knew that look well. If he knew himself at all Christian was pretty sure that the look of need and surprisingly love was mirrored in his own eyes.

In a blink of an eye Christian felt himself being pushed backwards until his back made contact with the sofa. His body was flush against Syed's and before he knew what had hit him Syed had leaned down and placed a kiss on Christian's lips. Passionate yet gentle at first but it slowly became more heated and Syed had somehow found himself straddling a bemused Christian.

" maybe we should move this to……"

Christian was stopped mid-sentence by Syed trailing kisses down his neck.

"Sy…." Christian moaned. " bedroom"

Syed laughed.

"yes sir."

As they made their may to the bedroom Syed found himself pinned against the hallway wall. Christian had somehow managed to clamp Syed's hands above his head using just one hand. His other hand was toying dangerously with the waist of Syed's jeans.

Suddenly Christian became serious. All traces of laughter vanished from his face and all the warmth and happiness that Syed saw in his eyes moments before had been replaced with a cold stare. Even though his features had turned stony a glimmer of apprehension lay in his eyes.

He grabbed both of Syed's hands, as if to plead with him and stared into his eyes and attempted to say what he knew he needed to ask of him.

"Promise me," he started, " promise me that you'll accept this soon and stop hiding who you are."

" Christian I …" exclaimed Syed before being hastily cut off.

" Promise me," he repeated, " just promise me that when I wake up in the morning you're still going to be here."

" I promise" Syed whispered.

He found himself lost in the older man's eyes for a few moments before he could find the words he was trying to say to Christian. The words he had to say were obvious, it was the only response that made sense. There was no point denying the truth, and in that moment when Syed had made the promise to be there when Christian woke up he knew that what they had wasn't just something to pass the time with, it was something deeper.

" I love you Christian" Syed said shakily, worrying about the other man's response.

However, his thoughts were cut short as Christian pulled him into a mind-blowing kiss. After what seemed like an eternity they broke apart both gasping for breath. Without a seconds delay Christian grabbed Syed and pulled him towards the bedroom. They crashed onto the bed backwards causing both of them to moan.

" Sorry" Christian laughed.

Syed joined in, but his laughter was brought to a standstill by the words that escaped Christian's mouth.

" By the way," Christian said, between kisses, " I love you too"

The men grinned at each other before continuing with the nights proceedings.