(A/N): Okay, so this short one-shot was started during a random crack discussion on LJ with my friend odontv, a.k.a, Clammy. It started with a spam post about donuts, then I accused her that she was distracting me from writing my fanfiction (yes I was actually getting back to work on One and not the Same, people). Then, she said "MAKE THE FANFIC ABOUT DONUTS." And my brain involuntarily started whirring. So, Clammy, if you're reading this, then you got your wish. Hope you can deal with the staggering guilt of delaying an established fanfic that had a dedicated fanbase waiting for it and the disappointment they must feel.
Bon appetit!
Donut
"I think our baby's ready to eat solid food now."
Fudo-hakase looked up at his wife in mild suprise. He hadn't expected her to interrupt him from his notes about the Momentum project for something like this. Regardless, it was exciting. Their boy was growing so fast...
"Really?"
"Mm-hm. I'm going to the store to pick up baby food for him, and I'm leaving him in your care, alright?"
Fudo-hakase nodded absentmindedly, his mind mostly focusing on inane thoughts that wandered between that small glitch inside Momentum's turbines and wondering what his little son's favorite food would become.
"...did you hear me?" His wife's words cut through his thoughts like a knife through butter.
"Ah? Yeah, yeah..."
His wife gave him a distrustful look, but left regardless.
Fudo-hakase walked over to where his son was just beginning to wake up in his crib. He cooed and gurgled on seeing his dad, reaching arms out for him. The father couldn't help but oblige, lifting his son out of his crib with a hefty grunt.
"My, my, Yuusei, aren't you getting big! I won't be able to pick you up soon!" he joked to the gurgling babe, who tugged and yanked at his father's hair in response. He carried him over to his work table, placing Yuusei in a high chair next to it, which had many things to amuse the boy with.
It wasn't long until Fudo-hakase began to feel hungry. Reaching into a small bag he kept at his tableside for such occasions, he pulled out a breakfast confectionary wrapped up in plastic-a donut.
Leaning back in his chair and taking a bite from the wheel-shaped treat, he glanced over at his son, who was looking at the food in interest, his toys lying forgotten.
"Are you hungry?" Fudo-hakase only got burbles in response.
"Time to get the formula, then..." he murmured to himself, as he stood up, heading to the kitchen.
When he passed the high chair, Yuusei made a swiping motion at his father.
"...you want to come?"
"Bwuh!" was the only answer he got from the chubby-faced infant, as he continued to grab for something. Oddly enough, he wasn't raising his arms upwards like he did when he wanted to be lifted up...it was only one hand, and it was aiming downwards...at the...
Fudo-hakase looked down, then back at his son.
"You want this?" he asked, lifting the partially eaten donut near his son's face.
Yuusei gurbled and giggled as he put two hands on the sticky treat. Fudo-hakase's first instinct was to pull it back.
"Ah-ah, you can't eat..."
"I think our baby's ready to eat solid food now."
He paused as the memory of what his wife said ran through his mind.
"Maybe a little bit wouldn't hurt, then." He sat back down in his chair, pulling it up to where his son was playing with the donut. He pulled off a small amount of the chocolate-and-sprinkle-covered treat and pressed it into his son's giggling mouth.
The effect was instantaeous. Yuusei's eyes lit up as he burbled and giggled in glee at the sweet pastry. Fudo-hakase could only be amused as he took the donut back-couldn't let the babe eat too much, after all.
Yuusei whined, reaching for the donut yet again.
"Oh, no, son, I can't let you eat the whole thing! You'd get sick...and your mother would kill me," he added in a low tone, looking honestly frightened.
Fudo-hakase was always an easygoing parent, however. At his son's continued crying, he put the rest of the donut in Yuusei's sticky hands.
What harm could he do? Fudo-hakase thought. It's not like he could actually eat the whole thing anyway...
He had forgotten what else a baby could do with food.
Within five minutes, Yuusei's hair, face, and pajamas were covered in sprinkles, chocolate, and bits of bread. Fudo-hakase looked up from his work, horrified.
"Your mother's gonna kill me, you know that, Yuusei?" he asked in a child-like panic, getting close to his son's chair.
Yuusei only giggled and pressed the donut to his father's face, making a ring of chocolate that surrounded his mouth.
"Aw, Yuusei, take it seriously, won't you?" his father whined, reaching for the donut.
Yuusei pulled the pastry back.
"Nuh!"
Fudo-hakase adopted a stern expression, its effect being greatly reduced by the ring of chocolate around his mouth and nose.
"Come on, Yuusei, you've had your fun."
Yuusei adopted a pouting expression.
"Nuh!"
"Fine then. I gave you a chance to give it up peacefully. But now you're gonna lose it whether you like it or not!"
Fudo-hakase reached for the donut, making to swipe it quickly. He saw his son's pouting face briefly before he caught a glimpse the donut just before it flew past his right ear, glancing off it and smearing it and the hair around it with more chocolate and sprinkles.
"Ah...no, no!"
The donut landed squarely on the work papers he had left on his desk. His son's antics were left forgtten as Fudo-hakase turned to the paper, gingerly lifting off the half-eaten donut like a child does when he removes a bandage. The gentleness was rendered futile, however, as there was now a round perfect circle of brown chocolate and multi-colored sprinkles on the large, life scale drawing of the Momentum generator.
Fudo-hakase could hear his child's peals of laughter behind him as he looked dismally at the ruined work.
"I can't show it to the members of the M.I.D.S like this..." he moaned as he absentmindedly placed the donut on Yuusei's high chair's table. He had worked so hard on it...and now it was ruined by a little donut smear...
Why did it have to be there? That part had been perfect, except for that little glitch, and I was planning on working out a soution to fix...it...there...
His thoughts were led astray by the brown stain. It was a perfect circular shape, barring the little notch resulting from the bite mark...that notch...
Fudo-hakase hurriedly took a pencil and began scribbling equations and proofs around the stain. As he worked, his expression changed from despair, to conentration, to sheer joy...
This was it! This was the solution to all his problems! The shape of the donut stain helped him to figure it out!
Whooping in joy, he practically leapt to his son's side, all anger against him forgotten as he lifted up the babe in his arms. Yuusei, now that he had the donut again, was untroubled by the sudden lifting, and in fact was giggling joyfully as his father swung him around, then nuzzled him, smearing both of their faces and making them even dirtier.
"You did it! You solved it! You're such a smart little boy! Who's Daddy's little scientist? Who's-?"
"What are you DOING?!?!?!" a voice shrieked, cutting off his joyful nuzzling and making him freeze, almost comically. He knew that voice...
Yuusei giggled and turned towards it, squealing happily when he saw who it was.
"Ba!"
Indeed, Fudo-hakase's wife had come home to see the mess that her two boys were in, and she wasn't pleased.
"Um...uh...feeding Yuusei solid food since you said it was okay to feed him some? Ahahaha..."
"IDIOT! I explicitly told you not to feed him anything until we did a safe test with the baby food! Weren't you listening?!"
So that was what she had said...
...he was totally busted, wasn't he? Fudo-hakase whimpered softly.
Yuusei was oblivious to his parents' strife as he was held in his father's arms, occupied with nibbling on the half-eaten donut.
---FIN---
(A/N): Reviews, crit?