Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies.

Today is the day I tell my mom I am no longer happy here. Growing tired of the three hundred and sixty four days of heat, Leaving one day open for cold weather of course. I have come to the conclusion that the desert is not for me. Also it feels like I'm stuck in this bland cycle of generic life doing the same thing same routine over and over again gets mundane.

I feel as if I need something new in my life which is filled with normalcy and boredom. And its driving me crazy being that I've always been the most random person a free spirit or at least i think so. Someone who believes in spontaneousness a change of scenery is what i feel is best for me right now. And so i will tell her even if it breaks her heart which I'm sure it will. I will sit her down and tell my mom that i want to go have to go must getaway. I will tell her i want to go and live with my father although she will bargain with me telling me to stay and help her with the baby. When step-loser is away trying to convince me that things will be better but i will refuse. Speaking of my moronic step-idiot AKA one of the reasons i want to bolt for the northwest. I can no longer take his shit with his snide remarks and put downs he has worn out his welcome to me at least.

Such a two faced weasel acting like he's a father of the year candidate when mom's around but as soon as she turns her back the real jerk shows himself. The real jerk that she knows nothing about the real jerk that's too afraid to show his self to her in fear that she will kick him where no man wants to be kicked. And i know your thinking why don't i tell her she'll have to believe me after all i am her only daughter. Trust me I've thought about it endlessly always coming up with the same conclusion. I can't i don't want to but only for two reasons one i wouldn't want to see her get her heart broken again not after what dad did. And two i don't want to bring her stress about her relationship and in the end me be the main contributor if she was to loose the baby.

So i did it packing my bags as i smirk my mind filled with pride and ideas of how it might be or how it might have changed since i was there last. I take one last look around my empty room as i pick up the last of my belongings stuffed into an overnight bag. That my mom bought me when i just had to go to Jenny Perkins sleep over last summer. Too bad i didn't know back then she would grow into such a snotty little bitch. I stare around the shell that used to be my room memories of better times rush into my thoughts. The sleep overs the times when i would stay up late and talk with my mom about any and everything. The black mark on the wall from the outlet in the corner that blew a fuse when i spilled red bull on my blow dryer. But at the same time my mind was also filled with memories memories of loneliness when i had no one to talk to. When no one would talk to me when i felt as though everyone was against me and things seemed bleak.

When i had trouble sleeping filling my pillow case with tears as i lie there thinking to myself. So this is how it is this is life it sucks and it seemed like things would never get better. This room filled with happiness and despair now sitting here empty the laughs fading away the tears drying up. Just then happiness came over me this is it i thought to myself this is my redo my reset my chance to be someone else.

To be happy where no one knows who I've become. The town of Forks only remembering the sweet little girl with the cutest dimples and her hair in pig tails full of laughter and energy. I remember i used to accompany my dad to the diner for dinner and desert. It was always cherry cobbler and a tall cold glass of milk. Man i hated cherry cobbler but dad loved it and he thought i loved it and i never had the heart to tell him otherwise. The milk on the other hand the milk was great.

Now the time has come its time for me to say my goodbye's. I give step ass the most fake i love you hug ever and his hug was the same. I didn't say goodbye to mom yet as she's the one taking me to the airport i had no friends well no close friends none worth saying goodbye to. The only person i wish i could say goodbye to but i know i don't have the heart for it is Chase my boyfriend.

I had my goodbye all planned out i would tell him i think it would be best if we spent some time apart. And that it was OK if he wanted to see other people that i just needed space and it was me and not him. I know it sounds cliche but it was the truth even though i would be breaking both of our hearts i felt it was for the best. But i knew deep down inside that once i saw his face and looked into his beautiful green eyes i would break down and end up staying. As he is the only one that has been there for me and vice versa. After all we've been friends since we were in the fourth grade but only recently deciding to take it to the next level as we've only been dating for six months. But i know that i love him and letting him go would be the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

He is my everything we can talk about anything. Me leaving is the only secret I've ever kept from him and it kills me i never thought I'd lie to him. We understand each other inside and out we talk about our problems and i think he knows that im growing cold of this city. He hears me talk about my time in Forks with my dad the summers i used to spend there even though i haven't spent a summer there in three years. He knew of my fondness for the small town where it's always raining.

So that is why i don't think news of me picking up and leaving will be a shock to him. I just hope he doesn't take it to hard because i know he loves me just as much as i love him. I climb into the passenger seat of my mom's hybrid car banging my knee into the dashboard. I never liked this car i thought to myself as i fiddled with the CD player after all my heart belongs to another car. My baby my 2007 cherry red ford mustang GT convertible. My step-ass was nice enough to have her sent ahead of me so she'll be waiting for me when i get there. Damn i hope he put the top up in case its raining when it gets there hell what am i saying of course it'll be raining when it gets there. Of all my time in forks its rained every day except for one and it just didn't feel right that day.

But I'm sure Charlie will put the top up for me unlike step-bitch such an idiot. Good thing he's behind me now as i smile looking at him in the rear view mirror walking back inside almost tripping over his own feet and falling face first in the driveway. What a sight that would have been i thought it would almost be worth me staying in Phoenix if i could have seen that happen. But none the less he managed to stay on his feet and make it inside how he ever became a baseball player i will never know maybe that's why he's still in the minor leagues. I laughed out loud as my mom asked what's so funny nothing i told her as i hunched down into the seat pulling out my cell phone starting to type the dreaded dear John text message it went like this.

Hey srry i havnt talk cuple days been busy i have sum thing i have 2 tell u please dnt b mad me but i think we both saw this cmming right now i am on my way to live with my dad im srry but i cnt b here n e more its 2 hard u r the only good thing here but i need a change please dnt get the wrng idea its not u so please dnt think that it is its me its always been me i luv u with all my heart n i will always love u i promise its OK if u want 2 c other people i understand u r the only thing thats kept me there this long and i dnt want 2 hurt u please 4give me maybe we can b 2gether again sumtime n the future if its ment to b then we will find each other again im srry i luv u bell.

My hand starting to cramp as i typed the long goodbye that was spread out into three texts i hope he doesn't take it to hard i thought to myself as my phone vibrated. New message it said already i thought as i opened it that was fast his response read.

I luv u 2 and i understand what ur doin doing it i just wish we could b 2gether y does it have to end y cant we try the long distance thing it works 4 sum people.

Hmm the long distance thing i pondered it could work with the technology these days there's a better chance of it working out. We could talk or text then there's email's and web cams it just might work as i Text him back.

idk it might well talk about it when i get there luv u bell.

''Who are you talking to'' my mom asked ''no one''

i replied her and step-dumb didn't know about me and Chase. My mom being overly protective and probably not approving of our relationship but all that is in the past as we take the exit off the freeway sky harbor airport my new best friend i thought. Please fly me the hell out of here my happiness suddenly turned to sadness now its time to say good bye to my mother. The women who gave birth to me all six pounds and eight ounces of bad kid even though we've been threw a lot she will always be my mom and i love her with all my heart. And i can see her heart slowly breaking as she pulled up to the drop off area. I unfasten my seat belt and wiggled around uncomfortably trying to fight back the tears trying to think of something comforting to say.

But i could feel them building up like an overflowing bathtub ready to spill over. As i turn in her direction her face already covered in tears she says

''are you sure you want to do this? I know your not happy here but i can change''.

''No mom its not you i promise''.

''Is it Phil because I'll leave his ass''she says with a serious look on her face.

''No mom your not going to leave him and you know it'' i said laughing ''besides it's not him either''.

As i thought to myself there i go fibbing again. ''I just feel like i need to leave like i need to be on my own i just need a change''.

''If that's what you want'' she says as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

''Its what i need'' i said as i hug her and tell her i love her.

''Call me as soon as you land you hear me''.

''I will i promise'' i tell her opening the door and climbing out

''do you need help with your bags'' she says as she begins to get out of the car.

''No I'm fine i got it'' she pops open the trunk as i retrieve my bags and close the trunk.

I can still see tears streaming down her face in the reflection of the rear view mirror. I walk up to her window ''it'll be fine mom i promise. This is for the best and look at the bright side now i wont be in your guy's way when you want to have skinny dip Saturday or hot tub Monday''.

She laughed and said ''yea right. Well maybe'' she contemplated then smiled.

''OK that's gross wow i think my flights boarding yep that's me. I don't want to miss it'' I said as i slowly backed away from the car run run like hell i thought to myself.

''Get out of here'' my mom said as she smiled ''call me when you land''.

''Yea i remember i will'' i told her as i turned to walk into the airport.

''Bell'' she called out i turned to her.

''I love you'' she said in the most sincere tone.

''I love you to mom ill miss you''.

I turned and walked away fighting back the tears as she watches me her only daughter walking away from her. It'll be fine i kept telling myself as i tried not to cry. She'll be OK she still has Phil and the baby this is for the best. Im sad that i am leaving my mom but happy at the same time because now i have a chance to get to know my dad again. I board my plane and take my seat happy knowing that better things are to come. I put my headphones on and close my eyes thinking i could sneak in a little nap as i was up all night packing. Forks here i come i said to myself with a grin on my face.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story more chapters to come please leave feedback and tell me what you think. thanks.