Hey everyone! Great to be back again! I'm back with a new story and trust me, this is going to be a long and funny one. I apologize for not having to upload a new story sooner but I've been working on this all summer and it's finally completed! I hope you all enjoy this one because it introduces characters from the original Harry Potter series that weren't that pronounced in the books...but they will be now in this story! This story is based on the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich so most of the plot belongs to her and the characters belong to J.K. Rowling with a little added twists from yours truly. Let me shut up and introduce you to my newest addition; THE AURSEIZE! Take care and have fun!

ClassySam

"Jade have you seen my glasses? I can't find my glasses anywhere." Aunt Muriel said, shuffling through Jade's room. She reached over on Jade's dressing table and knocked down a vase.

"Aunt Muriel! I don't have your glasses! Please stop knocking things down in my room…DAD!" Jade yelled from her bed.

Bilius Weasley appeared in the door way and noted that Muriel was back in Jade's room, wreaking havoc again. "Aunt Muriel" Bilius called.

Aunt Muriel looked up, squinting at Jade. "How come you aren't married yet? You've got the biggest ears I've ever seen in my life. Like those house elves." Aunt Muriel said going back to the door.

"Merlin, I think I'm going to get sick." Jade said slapping her forehead.

"Bet you a Knut I'll throw up before you do." Bilius said. Bilius left with Great Aunt Muriel, shutting the door behind him.

Jade got off the bed and cleaned up her room. The cardboard boxes with her belongings were packed inside. Jade walked down the stairs to see her father carry a couple of boxes out of the kitchen.

"Big move today!" he said as Jade helped herself to some breakfast. She wasn't as enthusiastic about the move from her home to Ottery St. Catchpole. She wasn't either too thrilled about the idea of having to go to a new Wizarding school now. "Aw Jade, you're not thinking about it again? Aren't you the least bit happy that you'll get to be around your cousins?" Bilius asked sitting next to Jade who shrugged.

"I guess. I just probably don't like moving." Jade said. Great Aunt Muriel walked in and took a seat.

"I can't wait to move near the Burrow! There's been gossip about Arthur getting promoted but he's still being harassed by that chicken fucking bastard Lucius Malfoy. Those Malfoy's I tell you…a bunch of chicken fuckers." Aunt Muriel said. Jade turned to Bilius Weasley who wondered if it would be a good idea to agree with her or discourage her. Knowing her father, Bilius gave a nod towards Aunt Muriel.

"Chicken fucker indeed."

By midday, everything was shifted to the new house in St. Ottery's near the Burrow. Jade was surprised to see all of her cousins and her Aunt Molly and Uncle Arthur to greet them and help out with unpacking.

"Jade! It's such a good thing you decided to live near us!" Ginny said hugging Jade tightly.

"Jade dear, how have you been?" Molly asked hugging Jade.

"I'm good thank you Aunt Molly." Jade said. The Weasley twins Fred and George head locked Jade every time she would visit and pull her pants down.

"No! Not my pants!" Jade screamed, laughing along with the twins. Molly swiped them away and immediately ordered the twins and Ron to help transfer Jade's things to her room.

"How's it going kid? Long time no see." Ron said, knocking Jade's shoulder.

"Good Merlin Ron, how tall can you get?" Jade asked as they walked up the stairs. They walked into Jade's room and started to reassemble everything together, talking about everything they had missed out on this year.

"Aunt Muriel's getting old and my Dad and me aren't really there 100% after Uncle Muriel died." Jade said, setting her pet snapping turtles aquarium down. Jade tapped the glass, seeing her young hatchling swim around. The twins chuckled, pointing their wands around to put everything neatly in its place.

"Lucky man. Mum's been dreading Aunt Muriel's arrival ever since Uncle Muriel died. It's only a matter of days until Mum starts screaming and ripping her own hair out.

There was a small crash and Molly Weasley screamed at the top of her lungs.

"AUNT MURIEL DON'T PERFORM UNFORGIVABLES ON THE GNOMES, ESPECIALLY WITHOUT YOUR GLASSES ON!"

"Hmph…I think I hit him in the gumpy." Aunt Muriel replied.

Fred shrugged. "Well it's sooner than I had expected."