Strange Desire: Chapter One

AN: This story is rated M/MA. This story contains gay sex and foul language so if you are offended by it, then stop now. I decided I would update and edit this story, as this first chapter was a one shot and well, you can see how it stayed that way. I may or may not change any of my other author's notes throughout, but the story should remain the same, so no confusion, just hopefully with better grammar. :)

You can blame my gay male friends for this story as they are the only ones that are in successful relationships right now. The song title is also important as this chapter played out whenever I heard it. My friends, the song, and my own dreams made this happen. Whether or not you guys think that's a good thing is up to you.

Characters belong to SM, but I'm sure she would not approve of doing this to them.

Strange Desire by The Black keys

Oh Oh OooooH...

I don't wanna go to hell…
But, if I do it'll be cause of you.

Any young man gonna make mistakes…
Till he hits the brakes.

My hearts on fire
With a strange desire

Oh Oh OooooH...

All those birds on the wire…
Are gonna say I'm a liar…
But, we all know that in the end…
They never were my friends.

My hearts on fire
With a strange desire

JPOV

Damn it, damn it, damn it all to hell. Why? Why did I work this asinine job that I hated? Oh yeah, to pay the bills. My boss called me in today to make sure I knew that I couldn't have sex with the students in exchange for grades. What the hell? I sat there dumbfounded. None of my students had really come on to me, and I hadn't been with a single person in over a year. What was he getting at? Finally, what it came down to is I was too good looking for my own good. Argh! Teaching history even at a college level was never one of the things I wanted to do in life. I wanted to be a writer and write historically accurate fiction.

Pissed off I shoved the door to my apartment open and slammed it hard. I dropped my briefcase, stripped my jacket and tie off as fast as possible and kicked off my shoes. I needed a drink. Padding to the kitchen I grabbed a beer from the fridge. I decided I was going to turn on the TV and watch something mind numbing to get my mind off things. Walking into the living room I noticed my roommate's bedroom door was ajar. It must have opened when I slammed the front door. What was he doing home? He was almost never home before me.

Coming up to knock on the door I could see glowing light from the room and knew he was awake, so I pushed the door open a little wider. Pausing at the door I was stunned speechless. I was so embarrassed I almost turned around and walked out, except that I was rooted to the spot unable to move. My feet would not cooperate with my head. There was my roommate and my best friend since the first day of kindergarten kneeling on the floor facing away from me watching gay porn. He was gay? How did I not know this?

Edward had his jeans and boxers pulled down and his shirt off. His knees were slightly apart and he was leaning forward with one hand on the floor. I could see the muscles in his back move as he pumped his hand over his cock. When I looked at the TV I was really disgusted by the two guys on it, but when I looked back over at Edward I felt my cock twitch in response to his body. Damn, he was gorgeous. What the fuck was wrong with me? I had to get out of here and pretend I didn't know anything about this.

Backing away, I heard Edward's grunts as he came and came hard over his stomach. Shocking was an understatement when my own body reacted to it. Great, now I needed to jerk off. I saw Edward lean his forehead on his arm on the floor for a minute and got a good view of his ass. Shit! Damn it! My body had become a traitor and I was even angrier than I had been when I got home.

Edward sat up and cleaned himself off and pulled his boxers and pants back on. He stood up and gasped when he saw me watching him. I watched as fear, pain, and resignation passed across his face. He was clearly upset about me finding him like this, so I just tried to pretend it never happened and asked him, "Do you want a beer?" He nodded his head unable to give an audible answer.

Looking at the television again my erection deflated. Apparently the gay men on TV were disgusting to me, but Edward wasn't. I'd have to explore that later, maybe. Or maybe I would just deny, deny, deny until I was dead. That seemed to be the most convenient option.

Walking out I went back to the kitchen to get another cold one and threw it at him as he walked out of his room. He caught it quickly and sat down on the couch without looking at me, at all. This was going to be awkward. I did have a fleeting thought that I was glad he didn't put his shirt back on.

Flopping down on the couch I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels until something was on that we didn't have to pay that much attention to. It was just background noise.

What the hell had I just walked in on? We had been friends since kindergarten and one of the kids made fun of me because my parents were dead and I had to be adopted. A smile formed on my lips when I thought about Edward and he told the kid that at least I was chosen unlike him, whose parents just got stuck with him. We were inseparable after that. He'd ended up moved into my house after his parents kicked him out our freshmen year of high school. I still didn't know why they did it, but I did know they never spoke to him again. Then we ended up roommates in college and roommates now. So how did I not know he was gay? Really? That just seemed impossible.

Edward asked me why I was smiling and I told him I was remembering the first day we met. He finally looked at me with his crooked smile I was so familiar with. He still looked a little pink from embarrassment and slightly green. Maybe he shouldn't be drinking that beer. He looked as though he might throw up.

"Edward… it's okay." I finally found the words to put his mind at ease even if mine wasn't. "We are still friends. I just wished you had told me that you were gay." Although that didn't explain the many girls I had seen with him through the years and absolutely zero guys. He hadn't dated anyone in almost as long as I had. His job as a doctor in the ER I thought was too stressful and unpredictable for most people to stick around for long. Sometimes even I went days without seeing him.

"Jasper… I'm not gay. I like both men and women," he finally breathed out. Okay, well that explained some of it, but why had I never seen any guys?

"Edward, why haven't I seen you with any guys?" I asked him curiously.

He shrugged and said, "They were just for quick fucks. I rarely slept with the same guy twice, and if I did it was in the same twenty-four hour period. I never wanted to be with any of them in a relationship."

"Why?" I asked him.

"Um… well, you know I have unrequited love for Bella and now that she is happily together with Jacob, it just seemed like I'd never have the relationship I wanted," Edward told me.

"What about a guy? You don't feel the same way about any guy?" I asked him, still confused.

"I do feel that way about a guy. I want to be with him more than I've ever wanted to be with anyone, but he doesn't feel the same way," he told me and I was instantly angered by the person that wouldn't be with him. Why wouldn't they?

"Jasper, this person is not gay and that is a huge problem," Edward told me.

I looked down when my heart did an instant little happy flip that he was still mine. Whoa… where did that come from? I wasn't gay, or never thought I was. I had had very few dreams where I was with a guy, but every last one of them Edward was in. I just assumed it was because we were close and nothing more. I did get a little jealous when he brought girls home, but I thought it was because I was jealous of the sex he was getting and I wasn't. Now that I was thinking it through though, I realized, no, I was jealous that they were having sex with Edward and not me having sex with him. Shit, shit, shit. What was I supposed to do with this?

"Well… how do you know they aren't gay?" I finally choked out when I came back to myself.

Edward raised a brow at me and said, "I've never seen him with a guy or seen him do or say anything that would make me think he would welcome my advances."

I just stared at him incredulously and finally said, "I didn't know you played for both teams until today Edward and I've known you twenty-four years."

He smiled at me again saying, "True, true." Then he took a swig of his beer, finishing it, and I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. I wanted to lick my tongue across it and licked my lips in anticipation of doing just that as my head clouded with lust.

Edward looked at me then and saw me licking my lips and I watched his eyes darken with lust. He breathed out, "Jasper…?" My eyes moved to his and down to his lips and my head cocked to the side and tilted forward against my volition. He was facing me and he moved forward hesitantly at first unsure if this is what I wanted. I didn't know what I wanted. Our lips met and it was a tentative hello as our mouths molded together. His lips were soft and wonderful and I had to suck his top one into my mouth as he did the same to my bottom lip. Feeling as though I couldn't get enough I pulled myself closer to him and brought my arms around his neck holding his head to me. I ran my fingers through his hair thinking that's where they belonged. One of his hands cupped my face and the other my neck as he pressed his tongue to my lips to make me part them. Opening myself up to him, he immediately sucked my tongue into his mouth making me groan. Our tongues wrestled for dominance as they touched and I finally pulled away to breath and kissed his neck. I could feel the stubble on his face and neck and found that I liked it.

My hands lowered touching his chest and I felt him jump. I pulled back questioningly and saw him looking at me with uncertainty. To make sure he knew I was okay I moved my hands to my shirt and un-tucking it out of my belt started pulling the hem of it up. I wanted his bare chest against mine. I felt his hands clamp down on mine to stop me and instantly felt hurt. He didn't want me. That was an odd way to feel as I didn't know I wanted him at all until a little over an hour ago.

He could see the hurt in my eyes and frowned. Pushing me down on the couch he laid over me letting me feel his erection through his clothes. My already painfully hard cock just got even harder at the contact. I didn't know how long I was going to be able to stand this. He kissed my lips softly and I whispered, "Please…" Please for what I didn't know. Please let me go or please let me fuck you. Edward seemed to understand that though. We hadn't been friends for so long for nothing.

Edward loosened my belt and pulled it off, then unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. He never took them off though. I watched as he pushed my shirt up slightly and placed one hand inside my boxers and felt him touch my shaft making me moan, "Edward… please." Taking his hand away he got up off me and I groaned at the loss of contact.

Placing a hand on my shoulder he said, "I'll be right back." When he came back to the living room he laid back down on me and kissed me again. "Just making sure this is what you want." He opened a bottle of lube and put it in his hand, warming it, before snaking his hand back down my pants. Gripping my erection he made sure the entire thing was coated before sliding his hand up and down it. He placed his thumb over the head and slit every once in a while and our breathing got heavier. I started to thrust my hips up into his hand in pleasure and pulled his head back down to mine again so I could kiss him hard and full of passion this time. I was entirely too excited for it to last long before I let go over his hand crying out his name.

Coming down off my high I was a little uncomfortable. Holy shit, that was the best hand job and the best kisses I'd had in my life and I apparently was more attracted to Edward than I thought, but is this what I wanted? I wasn't sure.

"Jasper…" Edward breathed against my neck before kissing it and I moaned deep in my throat at the contact.

"Hmmm…" was the only response I could give.

"You… you are the one I've been dreaming of," Edward finally told me seriously. That made me both happy and sad. Happy that it was me, but sad because if I didn't want this, then what? How would that change us? I could only kiss his hair and hope that was enough for now.

"Jazz… I love you, I always have, but you were unobtainable," Edward said. Then his hand skimmed over my hips and cock and said, "I can tell you want me here, but…" His hand moved over to my head then my heart and said, "I don't know if you are ready for something like this though." He sighed in frustration. "I don't want you to be a quick fuck. I want to be with you. Right now I'm going to let you come to me when you've made up your mind what you want and I won't say anything more about it. When or if you've decided to be with me, it's all or nothing, Jasper."

Running my hands through his hair one more time I kissed his head and wondered if I'd ever do that again. I wanted to, but I didn't at the same time. This was fucked up.

Edward got up and went back to his room. I didn't know what to do with myself, but decided to go to my room too and change clothes. These were now all sticky. Changed, I lay on my bed thinking. What was I going to do?

I was twenty-nine now and had been thinking that it was about time I settled down. My main reason for not doing it before now was Edward. I did love him, but I wasn't sure I loved him that way. I didn't want to leave him or give him up. My own parents had abandoned me by death, his by choice. I wasn't sure either one of us could take that pain.

Throwing my arm over my eyes I wondered how my life got so complicated in such a short amount of time. Sighing, I said to the empty room, "Shit, what am I going to do?" This was confusing.

Knocking sounded on my door before it opened and Edward asked me, "Are you hungry? Do you want to grab something to eat? I have to work tonight and every night this week, so I won't see you much otherwise."

Standing up I strode to the door and Edward stepped back giving me my space, except I wasn't sure that I liked it. "Where do you want to go?"

Taking the elevator down we decided on Thai food at a place that was within walking distance. That wasn't really something I enjoyed much, but Edward did, so I always went anyway and pretended for him. Something I wouldn't do for anyone else. I was good at pretending all kinds of things.

Outside the building it was pouring down rain and we ran to the restaurant. Soaked to the skin our clothes clung closely to our bodies. Shit, that wasn't helping my resolve to act like nothing happened. Thank you very much, Seattle.

Seated in a booth across from each other we ordered our food and I tried to keep my eyes trained on his face. I know he saw them wander often and I caught him smirking at me a couple of times. This was his fault, damn it. I doubted I would've looked at him this way before this afternoon.

Finally I decided I couldn't look at his face either. His eyes were too green and too piercing; his hair wet like he'd just gotten out of the shower; his lips… they were soft and begging to be kissed and reminded me how it felt to kiss him earlier and made me want to do it again. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to act 'normal' around him again.

Catching my attention Edward asked me, "So what was wrong with you that you were slamming the door when you got home?"

I told him what my boss had said to me and he laughed. "Well isn't it nice to know you are good looking, even if it interferes with your job?"

Growling at him, I said, "No, it is not."

His eyes sparkled and he leaned forward and said, "That growl is sexy, you know." My face was hot and I looked down at my hands. He nudged my leg with his foot and I looked up. He said, "I'm sorry. I know I said I wouldn't say anything, but I couldn't help myself."

"It's okay. I mean I like that you like it, but I'm not sure what I want to happen here yet," I pleaded for him to understand and he nodded his head.

We settled into uncomfortable silence until I decided to break the tension and ask the one question I didn't have the answer for. "Edward, why did your parents kick you out? You never told me."

His jaw clenched in anger and I saw him lean forward so no one else would hear it. "My parents caught me doing pretty much the same thing you did; only they were less understanding. You remember my dad was in politics and planned to go on even further, right?" he asked me and I told him that I did remember that. "Well, if you remember right, they were ultraconservative, not just moderately so. Anyway, my father yelled at me to get out and not come back, that no son of his would be a fag. That was the last time I ever saw either one of my parents. I don't know if my mom wants to contact me or not. My father was always extremely controlling, he's probably made it impossible for her to do so."

With tears in my eyes I reached a hand out to his and covered it. "Do my parents know what happened?" I asked him.

"Yes, they know. My parents contacted them and sent them money to take care of me. Well, I'm sure my mom was the one that did that, not my father. They never told you because I asked them not to. I was afraid if you knew you would disown me as fast as my parents did and I couldn't bear it," he explained and I squeezed his hand.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea what was going on," I said, then smiled at him saying, "At least I got to live with you out of it." He smiled his crooked smile and squeezed my hand in return before pulling it back.

"Is that why you became a doctor, to be like our dad and nothing like yours?" I asked him. As soon as he told me that story, all of a sudden my parents were his as well.

"Yes. I decided I wanted to help people and not tell them how to run their lives, but it didn't matter. I never wanted to be in politics anyway. My father had wanted me to become a lawyer and I had absolutely no desire to do so. I'm sure I was a disappointment to him in more ways than one," Edward answered sadly.

Finishing our meal we paid for it and left going back out into the rain, getting soaked again. Back in the apartment, I turned to face Edward and get a good look at his clothes clinging to the muscles of his body. He smirked at me and teased, "Like what you see?"

My mouth dry, I swallowed and said, "More than I would like to admit to myself." I looked back into his eyes and he smiled crookedly.

Edward stood close to me then and leaned towards my ear whispering, "Whenever you are ready, I'll be here waiting." Then he kissed my ear and went to his room to grab his scrubs before leaving for the hospital.

My cock ached, I wanted him now. My head was not in complete agreement with him though. I had to figure out my own shit now. Did I want to give up my dream of settling down with a nice girl and have a family and blah, blah, blah? Was that even my dream? Or was that just what I was always told that's what I should do? Thinking about it I decided I shouldn't think about kids keeping me away. We could always adopt someone like me if it came down to wanting that.

Edward had his hand on the doorknob ready to walk out the door and I said, "Wait." He turned around and looked at me right before my lips crashed to his. I kissed him hungrily as though this would be the very last time it would ever happen. It might be as I hadn't yet reached a decision.

His hands smoothed back my wet blond hair and he licked my lips as he pulled away. "You have beautiful hair," he told me, green eyes meeting blue. I never thought it was.

"No, you have gorgeous hair," I claimed, running my hands in his bronze locks that were always messy. He smiled at me. Was I really talking about hair? Shit! Damn!

"I will see you next week, hopefully," Edward said. It was doubtful I'd see him at all, unless it was in passing over the next week if I was going to my job during the day and he was working at night. Maybe that would work to my advantage. I could figure out what the fuck I was doing.

Over the next week, I thought about us and if I really did want a relationship with a guy. No, not a guy, with Edward, therein lied all the difference. I wasn't attracted to any other guys, at all. I even went through Edward's gay porn collection and nothing. It didn't help me even a little bit. When I lay on his bed and smelled his pillows I was turned on, when I saw him in passing I had a hard on every single time. This was ridiculous.

So I was attracted to Edward, that much was obvious. Now on to more important things, did I want to be with him? Would this hurt our life-long friendship? Or would it be better because we had been friends for so long? We'd lived together long enough to know each others' habits, both good and bad.

On the couch one day I was reminded how it felt to be with Edward here and wanted more of that. Then I thought, could I be gay? No, the answer to that was obvious. Bisexual like him was more likely. As I came to this conclusion I decided it didn't matter. I was sure that I loved Edward more than I ever had anyone else in the world and wanted to be with him. I knew he would make me happy and I hoped I made him happy as well. Once my decision was reached I was finally at peace, even if I was terrified of what sex would be like with him.

After that decision was settled I had another one, my job. School would be out for the summer soon and I wasn't sure if I wanted to renew my contract or not. Well, I'd sit down and start writing as much as possible when no one was home. Maybe I'd work another year or so and go. If my writing didn't work out, that didn't mean I had to stay at this job.

Edward found me sitting at my desk in my bedroom typing on the computer after his week long night-shift was over. I noticed he had changed out of his scrubs when he stood behind me and leaned down to see what I was doing. He knew I wanted to be a writer, not a professor, so instead of being confused, he said, "I'm happy for you, that you are finally doing something for yourself."

Turning around I said, "Yes, and I've also decided to do something else for myself." Standing up I put my arms around him and pressed my obvious erection against him. "I've decided that I want this. I want us." Looking at me, his eyes lit up and they were happier than I'd seen them since before he'd moved in with us all those many years ago. It made me happy to see him so happy.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked, a little uncertain.

"Positive. I want you," I answered confidently.

"Let's celebrate. Come on, we can go somewhere you like this time. I know you don't like Thai food," Edward told me and my eyes widened in surprise. "Just because you don't think I notice, it doesn't mean that I don't know. You can fool the rest of the world, but not me. Never me."

Grinning at him, I said, "Okay, but don't you want to be together right now?" This was said innocently, really. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Jasper.

"Jasper, come on. I'm actually hungry and I need food for energy before being with you. We can enjoy each other later. I've only waited most of my life for you. You've waited all of a week," Edward said laughing. He had a point, but I wasn't sure how he'd waited so damn long.

We decided on sushi, it was my favorite food at least. Edward not so much, but he still ate it. It was fun to try and feed each other the rolls. People stared at us, some in disgust, some in amazement and a couple that told us we looked 'cute' together. We both laughed. Once I decided I'd be with him I meant it, and that included in public. I wasn't ashamed.

We walked back to the apartment and Edward reached out and grabbed hold of my hand. I gave him a side-long glance and smiled, not letting go.

Back inside our apartment I couldn't contain myself. I'd been thinking about this for a week. "Edward… please," I breathed and he pulled me to his bedroom. He lifted my shirt off and I was relieved. This is what I wanted. My mouth found his and I tugged his shirt up and off before pressing my lips to his again. My bare chest against his felt right, like that's the way it was supposed to be. Backing up we ended up falling onto the bed laughing. Edward scooted backward onto the bed on his elbows and I kneeled over his body looking at his chest. My hands roamed down his muscular chest to the line of bronze hair that went down his stomach and continued where I couldn't see yet.

Moaning, Edward pleaded, "Jasper…" More than anything I wanted our clothes completely off right now. My cock was straining in their confines and I could feel his was as well.

Kissing Edward's lips first I moved down and licked his Adam's apple like I'd been wanting to. His head fell back in pleasure. His hips thrust upward and tried to gain friction against me and I kissed the stubble on his cheek before undoing his pants and pulling them down. He didn't have any boxers on this time. Optimistic much? I had to stop myself from laughing, but as soon as I looked down at his erection whatever laughter was there died in my throat. How was I supposed to take it? I didn't know what to do and up close and on the brink of doing this he was even bigger than I remembered.

Edward saw the look of what I assumed probably was terror etched on my face and pulled me down to him. "We don't have to do this if you aren't ready, Jasper." He kissed my head and my cheek and my lips flipping our bodies over before kissing my chest. He sucked and nibbled my chest and flicked his tongue over my nipples making them harden when the air hit.

Hissing out I said, "Edward, I'm ready. I'm just not sure what to do."

I felt his lips on my neck and felt his tongue slide over me as his lips sucked on it. It was wonderful and I never wanted this feeling to end. Edward continued down my chest this way until he got to my jeans. Unbuttoning and unzipping them he pulled them down my legs and off leaving me only in boxers. Edward asked me one more time, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, please just take them the fuck off already," I growled out. He moaned and I could tell he wasn't lying when he said he thought growling was sexy. Apparently Edward came to play today because the next thing I saw was the waistband of my boxers between his teeth as he pulled them down and I lifted my hips so he could get them all the way off. He continued pulling them down this way down my legs and feet until they fell to the floor.

"Scoot up on the bed, Jasper." I scooted upward toward the head of the bed on some pillows and Edward continued saying, "That's good. Now spread your legs apart. A little more. Good, good." Then he crawled up between my legs and without taking his eyes off me he lowered his head and more importantly his mouth to my aching cock. I jumped a little at the sensation of his hot wet mouth against my straining erection. Then I calmed myself, it wasn't like I'd never had anyone do this to me before. When I looked back down he was still staring at me trying to get my cue that it was okay and I nodded imperceptibly. I felt his tongue lick down my shaft as his lips pushed down over me and sucked on the way back up, swirling his tongue over the head each time.

Moaning, I breathed, "Fuck." Placing my hands on his head I held him there while I thrust up into his waiting mouth. It was apparent as I hit the back of his throat and he didn't gag that he had done this before. One of his hands cupped my balls and I shouted, "Edward, fuck, I'm going to cum." His hands held onto my hips and pulled me closer to him. I felt the semen spill out and down his throat mixing with his saliva. He didn't disappoint me either, he swallowed all of me. I wasn't sure how I'd done it, but I managed to watch the entire thing with my eyes instead of closing them.

My head hit the headboard of his bed and I felt his lips follow my body upwards until they found mine. He laid one hand over my heart hearing the beating that sounded like drums. My body was slick with sweat and Edward stated, "You smell and taste so good. Like sweat and sex and desire and just you." Whatever that meant.

Breathing evening out, I kissed his lips tasting me on them. I wondered if I'd be able to swallow or if I'd even know what the hell I was doing. Probably not, but practice makes perfect, right? My hands roamed down to his cock and as soon as my fingers touched him I heard him gasp out. I knew then that no matter what I did now he'd wanted me too long for him to not enjoy it. Flipping us over I moved my lips down his chest and across his belly and the trail of hair. I kissed and sucked until I finally had his balls in my mouth. Sucking on them I heard Edward groan. It made me feel powerful to know I could make him feel good. Remembering everything I'd looked up about how to do this, yes, I really did. I didn't want to be clueless. Anyway, remembering it, I licked the head of his cock first before wrapping my lips around my teeth and sliding my lips down the shaft sucking harder on the way up. Then I started using my tongue like he'd done with me and I could hear Edward grunting. I knew he wanted to fuck my mouth but was too afraid to, afraid I wouldn't welcome it. Letting him go, I looked right at him and said, "Do it, fuck my mouth. I know that's what you want." He seemed relieved and as I placed my mouth around his cock again he put his hands on my head and thrust up a few times.

"Jasper, turn onto your back for me please," Edward told me and I flipped myself over again. He leaned his body forward again and let his cock slide over my wet lips before I opened my mouth to welcome him. He knelt over my body and pulled my head and neck up with his hands and thrust hard and fast into my mouth. I tried to remember to breathe through my nose and relax my palate and throat as he hit the back of it. Placing my hands on his hips I watched him and tried to concentrate on his face, on the look of pleasure and pain and pure joy all mixed into one. I wondered if that's what I looked like. "Jasper, soon… I'm going to cum soon," Edward divulged and this was the time I decided if I'd swallow it or not. For him? Yes, I decided I would. I continued sucking until he filled my mouth and I tasted someone's cum for the first time. To be honest, he didn't really taste like anything, so I wondered what the big deal was. Maybe not everyone tasted that way.

Edward moved his body down mine and kissed my lips saying, "That was better than I imagined it would ever be with you." We hadn't actually had sex yet, but I was still pleased.

Edward eventually moved his body up so his head was lying on his pillow and asked me to join him. Not knowing exactly what he wanted to do yet I faced him and we kissed a few more times. He ran his hands over my back and ass as I did the same to him. "Jasper, close your eyes and take a nap with me, I still need to recover from my crazy sleep schedule. When we are both more awake I want to make love to you." Then Edward turned onto his side with his ass pressed against my cock. I groaned, thinking I wouldn't sleep at all.

Kissing Edward's shoulder I said, "I can't wait, sweet dreams." I never did fall asleep, but I enjoyed lying there watching him taking in every detail as he snored softly.

It was still the middle of the day when Edward finally woke up and rubbed against me, instantly awakening my cock. He moaned and asked, "So it wasn't a dream, then? You are actually here in my bed with me?"

My lips kissed his neck before whispering in his ear, "No, it wasn't a dream or else we both are damn good dreamers." Edward flipped onto his side facing me and we pressed our bodies together, both of us having hands on each others' ass as our cocks touched and rubbed against each other. I wondered what it would be like to be inside him or him in me. Then I wondered if he had a preference. I didn't know as I'd never done either with anyone. Voicing my concerns I asked tentatively, "Edward… are you a top or a bottom?"

Laughing, he said, "Both, definitely both. So don't worry if you only want one way." That didn't sit well with me, if he could do both then I would at least try it either way.

"I think I want to try both ways," I told him and he smiled at me cupping my face and pulling my head in to catch my lips with his. He deepened the kiss then and brought our bodies even closer.

"Jasper… it's up to you what you want to do first," Edward told me.

I was sure some people would think this was a little backwards, but I wanted him to fuck my ass first. If I couldn't handle that then I wasn't sure I could handle the rest of it and also I didn't know what I was doing, so I thought it might be better to be shown. "Edward, I want you to take me in the ass first. Please," I added, sure that's how I wanted this to play out.

"Are you certain?" he asked me a little unsure himself that this was how things should be done, until I told him my reasoning behind it.

"Whatever you wish," Edward said to me. He rolled over to his drawer and pulled out lube and a condom. When I saw them I tried to calm my breathing and relax, but I couldn't, so I looked away. "Jasper… lay on your stomach for right now. We'll take this slow today," he said and I lay on my stomach.

Brushing my hair away from my face Edward whispered in my ear, "Do you know how long I've wanted this? How long I've waited for you to be ready for me?" No, but I could gather some clues, probably about the time he figured out he liked guys too, possibly before.

Instead of saying those things I said, "No, show me." I could feel his smile against my neck and his kisses down it and across my shoulder. Then he kissed the muscles of my back and down. I knew he was probably enjoying that as much as I did doing that to him. Then I finally felt his lips on my ass and felt my body stiffen at the contact. Edward didn't linger there though, he continued down my legs first before coming back to my ass. He spread my legs apart and I felt his tongue dart out and lick the crack of my ass. I hissed.

"Jasper, just relax. I won't hurt you," Edward said calmly, kneading my ass. Relaxing my tensed up muscles I tried to enjoy what he was doing to me. "Jazz, I want you to pull your knees up so your ass is opened wider for me." Shivering in fear and anticipation I moved them up keeping my chest down.

"So beautiful," Edward breathed as his hand rubbed my ass. I turned my head so I could watch him, see his lust driven face. Then I watched as his tongue licked the crack of my ass and swirled over my anus. He spread his hands on my ass and pushed my ass cheeks further apart. I could feel the flat of his tongue over my entrance before poking through and I gasped. Shit. Holy fuck. That felt good.

Edward chuckled at my gasp and writhing under him, but never let up. As a matter of fact the chuckle just made it that much more pleasurable and I shouted out, "Oh god, Edward!"

Sucking on one of his fingers he pushed against me and up inside as my muscles clenched in response to it. I relaxed them and felt him pump in and out. Damn, why had no one done that to me before? Edward removed his finger and sucked on two of them before pushing inside and moving them around not just in and out, but scissoring me trying to stretch the opening. Why had we wasted so many years not doing this again? My lust filled haze was almost too much for me and I cried out, "Edward, please. Please fuck me now. I need to feel you inside me."

Edward pulled his fingers out of me and I whimpered at the loss. I watched him roll on a condom and coat it with lubricant. He put more lube on his fingers and my ass and spread it around my hole before pushing inside making me slick and ready for him. Leaning down Edward said, "Jasper, relax. It may feel like it's too big at first, but it will get better." Then he kissed my shoulder and I felt him rub his head against my entrance.

Moaning I pushed my hips back against him and begged, "Please."

He slid in slowly and filled and stretched me. It didn't feel like there was enough room for him there and I winced at the pain and burn I felt at first. Then he pushed further into me until he was all the way in and let me adjust to the intrusion. "Jazz, I love you. Tell me if this is too much for you. I don't want you to do this just because you think you are supposed to," Edward said. I half appreciated the effort of being nice, the other half was highly annoyed and wished he'd shut up and get on with it.

"Edward, please fuck me," I growled out. Pushing my hips into his again I felt him grab my own and thrust in and out slowly. I wriggled trying to get more comfortable with him inside me. Going slow he plunged into my ass until I screamed out, "Harder, faster! I need it faster." With every thrust I could feel the head of my cock slide across the sheets and the pleasure of Edward's own cock hitting my prostate. "Edward..." I moaned out before only unintelligible words came out. I rocked my hips back into him meeting his thrusts until I couldn't take anymore and shot out semen onto Edward's sheets. Screaming out in pleasure Edward stilled his movements as I came. When I was done he picked up the pace of his thrusts slamming into me and I rocked harder trying to get him off too. A few minutes later he shouted out my name and let go. I could feel the warm cum even through the condom.

Leaning down he kissed my back between my shoulders before pulling out of me and rolling over to throw the condom away in the trash. I lay there muscles quivering as I'd been in an unfamiliar position. Turning onto my back I winced slightly, my ass was going to be sore tomorrow. Would I do it again though? Hell, yes.

Smiling widely in satisfaction I felt Edward place a hand on my chest and said, "Thank you, Jasper. That's something I've wanted to do for a very long time. It was better with you than I'd thought it'd be." Then his lips met mine and we kissed a few times before trying to recover. I needed a break before I'd be ready to take him in the ass, but I couldn't wait to do it.

"Edward?" I asked him.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"I know you've done this before. Had someone fuck you, I mean. But it's been a long time, hasn't it?" I asked him carefully.

"Yes. What are you getting at, Jasper?" he asked me in return.

"Well… won't it be just as uncomfortable for you as it was for me?" I asked him, curious.

"Maybe. Probably. It doesn't stop the fact that I want to feel you inside me," Edward answered me.

Humming, I said, "Okay, I just don't want to hurt you."

Laughing, he said, "If you do hurt me, it'll be a good hurt. Don't you think?" Thinking about how I felt about it, I had to laugh at my ridiculousness. It felt damn good.

Not being able to get enough, my lips and tongue tasted as much of him as possible. He tasted so good to me that I groaned deeply. We were both erect again after a while and I came back to Edward's mouth to taste his tongue. Finding the lube and another condom I settled back to what I was about to do, take Edward. He took me, now it was my turn.

Lying on his back I pushed his legs up and apart. My shoulders touched his thighs as they pressed against them. Moving my head down I licked his ass and the sensitive skin of his perineum, going back to his ass. "Jasper…" Edward moaned out before saying, "Please, please come inside me already." I didn't listen, this was just as much for me as it was for him and I was going to prolong it.

My tongue traced the outside of his anus before licking him some more. I nipped one of his ass cheeks and heard Edward grunt at that. "You are going to be mine," I growled out.

"I already belong to you, Jasper. I always have. Now stop fucking around and get on with it," Edward shouted at me. I laughed at his impatience.

Rolling the condom on I coated it just like he did with lube as well as his ass. Pouring some on my fingers I pushed inside him and felt that even though he'd been with some people he was still going to be incredibly tight. My cock couldn't wait to find out just how tight. Pushing his legs up higher and against my shoulders I placed my cock at his entrance. I watched as his eyes widened at the position, he must never have had anyone do it this way before. Too intimate for everyone else. Hey, I was going to watch him, watch his face as I fucked him.

"Edward, are you ready?" I asked him and saw his nod before I plunged in faster than he did with me. His eyes bulged out and he gasped either from lack of having anything there for a while or else I was bigger than the other people he'd been with.

Leaning down I kissed his chest while he adjusted to the feel of me. When he bucked his hips up to me I pulled away and placing my hands on the backs of his thighs I pumped into his tight ass. "Oh, my god. You feel so good, Edward, so tight," I groaned out.

"Jasper, please go faster," Edward begged me. Before I did I stopped a minute and heard him snap his annoyance. I found the bottle of lube and poured it between us so his erection could rub against my stomach. When Edward saw what I was doing his eyes lit up in approval. Now with every thrust into his tight ass his cock would rub against my stomach causing sweet, pleasant friction. "Yes… yes… Jasper… that feels so good… so good… fuck," Edward moaned at me shaking his head from side to side in too much pleasure. It was too intense for both of us and we both came nearly at the same time shouting out. I felt his muscles clench over my cock and his hot, sticky semen spill out over my stomach.

I let go of Edward's legs and kissed his chest as I slid out of him. Throwing the condom away I was too exhausted to even scoot over to Edward. Fortunately, he pressed himself against me and leaned over for tissues and cleaned my stomach off for me. "Thanks," I said, feeling replete.

"You're welcome," he murmured and kissed my neck. We needed showers badly and food, but neither one of us was willing to get up yet.

I closed my eyes and sighed. This was the best sex I'd ever had with anyone. I wondered what the difference was. It wasn't because it was with a guy. No, it had to be because it was with Edward and I loved him with everything I had. "Edward…?" I asked him to see if he was still awake.

"Yeah?" he mumbled sleepily. He hadn't gotten much sleep today, all of a few minutes.

"I love you," I finally told him.

Rising up on an elbow he looked at me and said, "I love you too, Jazz." Then he kissed my lips and lay back down to fall asleep. Neither one of us woke up later that day and I slept most of the night, eventually getting up. I left Edward there and cleaned up as best I could. I wanted to take a shower with him, so I was going to wait for him to wake up.

Walking out of the room I looked at him laying there peacefully with a smile on his face. My heart swelled in happiness.

Going to the kitchen I decided to make breakfast. I was starving and I was sure the smell would wake Edward up. Humming happily to myself, I made breakfast and laughed at myself. Who would have thought I'd be the woman in this relationship?

Edward came out of the room a little while later with a sleepy grin on his face saying, "I'm starving." We sat down and ate our first breakfast as an 'us'. It was weirdly wonderful and I wouldn't trade it for any other family in the world.

AN: Yes, I really did change the name a bit as almost no one uses the other one, and most have it down to just SD anyway.