Hey guys!

I made a few small revisions to the first chapter (nothing major, just fixed a few grammar mistakes and whatnot).

And, to the new readers, hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.

Blue eyes scrunched together with concentration, focusing solely on the onyx haired boy sitting across the room, whom was ignoring the stare that bore into the back of his head with a nonchalance only an Uchiha could achieve.

Naruto furrowed his brows in annoyance. He hadn't taken his eyes off the damn bastard since he had entered the classroom. His hard work, (his eyes were tired now, dammit!), was acknowledged in no way by the stupid, stupid, stupid, stick-in-the-ass-son-of-a-bitch. No eyes meeting as that first homo-spark ignited the hearts of the two adolescent young teens, no sly glance out of the side of his eyes, not even a twitch after being stared at non-stop for, what, nearly an hour now. Absolutely nothing!

Come on… Come on! Have a heart you icy prick, if I lose this bet…

Naruto shuddered slightly as Sai's smirking face resurfaced in his mind. He gulped in a breath of air, feeling a strong temptation to just scream out the bastard's name and tell the stupid Uchiha to admit that he was a big homo and likes to have penises rammed up his ass (which was probably the reason why the boy's always so cranky anyways).

Playing around with the idea in his head, and deciding it probably wasn't the best way to go about things, he settled on shouting out to the boy and attempting to establish some contact before the period ended (since everyone else was mumbling away anyways).

He took in a huge breath of air, opened his mouth and…

"Sa-"

"Naruto, is there something that's bothering you right now?"

Ah, crap. The mumbling stopped.

"Iie, nothing Iruka-sensei."

"Because, quite frankly, you haven't been listening to my class at all today, and since whatever you've been mumbling under your breath about is much more important than my lecture, why don't you share it with the rest of the class?"

The satisfied brunette blazed with an air of superiority and righteousness, the fire of a dedicated educator burning in his eyes.

"I-it's nothing you need to worry about." Naruto stammered nervously, swatting it away with his hand.

"Well then?"

Naruto quickly sneaked a glance at Sasuke to see if his usual antics had attracted any attention from the stoic boy.

Son of a bitch. Nothing.

"Stupid pain in the ass…"

"What?"

Oh no. Quick save quick save quick save…

"Er, I said, Iruka-sensei, I was thinking about math. You see, there was this question I didn't really understand before…"

Iruka-sensei looked stunned, but strangely pleased. Naruto flashed a fake smile back at him.

"Well, that's nice to know Naruto. At least you're thinking about something other than those magazines I found in your room the other day…" Iruka paused slightly, his face taking on a slightly pink hue. "Anyways, think about math in math class Naruto. I expect you to focus on my class while you're here."

Naruto turned an affectionate eye on the older man. God, the poor sucker.

"Hai Iruka-sensei!"

"And?"

"I won't use grocery money to buy those magazines again…?"

"No, no! Apologize to the class!"

"Oh. Gomen-nasai!"

"Thank you Naruto. Apology accepted." Iruka nodded his head in acknowledgement before returning to his lecture.

Naruto released a small sigh. Ah. Iruka was usually so gentle and nice, but good God did the man have a stick up his ass when it came to teaching.

Deciding that there really wasn't much to be done at the moment, Naruto's eyes glazed over as he recalled the morning's events...

Sai watched as Naruto exited the boys' change room, saw the blue eyes roaming the space of the gym before finally landing on his own, and continued to follow the blond as he made his way over towards him. Black eyes quickly imprinted the image of Naruto in his gym shorts (that stopped just above his knees) and took in the nice expanse of tanned flesh for later sketchbook reference.

"GAH! Goodness Sai, are you checking me out again? Damn it man, I know I'm unbelievably irresistible and attractive, but it's kind of creeping me out, since I'm not fucking homo and all. (Yeah, that's right, I'm not! Wipe that smirk off your face!) Besides, you know who I like…" He trailed off as his eyes connected with the body of the most attractive girl in school, Sakura-chan, and he quickly wiped away a dribble of drool that slid down his chin.

"Hmm?" Sai flashed a smile at the salivating blond. "Say something, small penis?"

"Fuck!" Naruto exclaimed before slapping a hand over the other boy's mouth, "I told you to stop calling me that! (What if Sakura-chan hears?) You've seen it before, you know Godzuki's pretty freaking big even when I'm not --"

Suddenly, Naruto felt a few pairs of rabid yaoi fangirl eyes snapping towards him.

"Oh my, Naruto-kun!"

"'You've seen it'? How interesting…."

"No, no, NO! Wait guys, no, it's not like that! Let me explain! It was a drunken night, we didn't know what we were doing and, well... things happened." The blond chuckled softly at his joke. No one else was smiling.

Naruto suddenly felt a few more pairs of hyena-like eyes lock onto him. He had the feeling that if he didn't clear up his (almost painfully) misunderstood joke, immediately, things could get ugly.

"Hahaha, no guys, I'm pulling your leg. Just a joke... No, really! I swear to God! What actually happened was that he was making cracks in the change room, so I flashed him to shut him up (wasted, apparently), that's all!" The girls turned their attention to Sai, who shrugged casually.

"Sure, whatever you say, Naru-koi."

"See, I told – no, what? No! Traitor! I'm not gay, really!" The girls giggled. "Go to hell!"

The few females that had been close to Naruto-kun took a few steps away.

"God, how rude!"

"I know, gays these days!"

"Augh! Sai! Look at what you did! Now Sakura-chan'll never like me! She'll never tell me she loves me, or scream sounds of pleasure into the night while I use Godzuki to do things I can't describe because this is a T-rated fanfic, and she'll never, ever run into my arms, begging for another night with-"

At the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps, Naruto quickly turned around, only to find himself transfixed by the sight of… two gigantic meat buns?

No, wait, that can't be right. Those things definitely weren't meat buns; the smooth surface, jiggly quality…

Naruto let out a loud gasp as his eyes zoomed out of the two 'meant buns'. Sakura-chan?!

Could it be? After years of admiring from afar (jacking off to pictures), have his prayers finally been answered? Was the, unofficially voted, 'girl-most-lay-able' realizing his manly potential and coming to beg for a ride on the 'Uzumaki Express'?

Granted, she seemed to be staring just a little bit to the left of him, but who gave a shit with those, er, 'meat buns' bouncing in front of her when she ran? Fucking Baywatch man.

It all seemed too good to be true, and Naruto felt himself grow a little dizzy. It couldn't be…

Naruto felt a pink blur pass him.

"Sasuke-kun! You're here!"

It really couldn't be, could it?

Naruto's eyes narrowed, slightly pissed off.

Another dream shattered. Bastard.

"Stupid shit-head. God he pisses me off. I'm so much more better looking than him," Ignoring Sai, who was sporting a amused grin on his face, Naruto continued, "and, honestly, I swear to God he's gay!"

Sai cocked an eyebrow at Naruto, a confused expression on his face.

"The Uchiha's gay?"

"No shit Sai, go get the 'gay-dar' checked man, the boy's obviously had a few too many up his backside. Besides, just look at the way he's treating Sakura! Like she's not even there, which is ridiculous, considering that she's practically pushing herself against him." Sai kept up the amused grin, still not convinced.

"But Naruto, maybe he just doesn't like her. He's probably looking for the "right one" (according to 'Understanding the Young Adolescent Heart')."

"Aha!" Naruto exclaimed, jabbing his finger in Sai's face, ignoring the latter part of his reply. "Exactly! How could any guy not like Sakura? We're fucking sixteen damn it, our hormones are raging, we're supposed to be horny as hell!" Naruto near-shouted. "It makes no sense!"

"But he's hardly the type to act like a horny adolescent boy." Naruto pouted at this, thrusting his tongue out at Sai.

"Well, whatever. He's gay, I know it Sai, I swear to God!" The artist took in Naruto's defiant form, hands on those delicious tanned hips, chest rising up and down with exhilaration. Sai's eyes glinted as an idea came to his head.

"W-what's with the look Sai, I know he's gay! I know—"

"How about we make this interesting, Naruto-kun? Let's make a bet on it. If you can prove to me that Uchiha Sasuke is gay, by whatever means possible, then I'll pay for all your ramen expenses for a year and I'll promise you a date with Sakura-chan."

Naruto's jaw dropped.

"However," Sai's tongue ran over his upper lip, a mischievous grin forming at the corners of his mouth. "If you lose… Well, since it probably won't happen anyways, let's make it something 'fun', ne?" Naruto narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Hold up, what do you mean by fun?"

"If you lose, Naruto, you have to go on a date with me, half-naked. And I get to choose which half."

Naruto gasped loudly and staggered back a few steps in surprise, his face now a lovely Kelly-green colour.

"Hey, that's not fair! That's disgusting, you pervert! I'm not gay, I can't—"

"Hmm? Scared you'll lose Naru-koi?"

"Don't call me—"

"So how 'bout it?" Sai could almost see the storm raging inside the blond's head. Torn between the overwhelming desire to 'defeat all!' and his natural instinct to prevent Sai from seeing any more of his body at all costs, Naruto fidgeted for a while before mustering up his courage and making his reply.

"Y-yeah! Of course! P-prepare for defeat!" Naruto stuttered, his confidence failing him briefly.

"You have two weeks."

"WHAT?"

"Naruto?"

"Oh yes, one more bowl of ramen for me please…"

"Naruto?"

"Mhmm, extra large, he's paying…" Naruto let out a small chuckle, still lost in his daydreams.

"Naruto!"

"Gah!" Naruto screamed before promptly falling off his chair. "What the hell Iruka-sensei? You scared the shit out of me!" Naruto's blanched as he took in Iruka-sensei's expression.

"Ah, still in class. Right… I'm sorry?"

"Detention! After school!"

---

Naruto sighed as he made his way towards the history room. Gosh, Iruka-sensei didn't have to be so cruel about it. Besides, now he'll have to figure out something else to do for the Sasuke situation.

Naruto frowned, feeling slightly frustrated. He definitely, so unbelievably, did not want to go through with Sai's conditions (if he lost, that is), but at the rate he's going…

"Argh! Stupid duck-butt Sasuke-teme! He should just come out with it!" Naruto declared to himself, opening the door to the classroom.

"Come out with what, exactly?"

Naruto froze. That voice sounded a bit too familiar…

Slowly turning his head around, he found himself staring at the one and only Uchiha Sasuke.

"S-Sasuke!" Naruto scratched his head casually; driblets of sweat dripping down his neck. Crap crap crap. "I was just talking to myself about things that you probably wouldn't care much about…" Naruto trailed off, averting his eyes.

"Hn."

Silence.

"So, Sasuke, what are you doing here anyways? School ended already, shouldn't you be home now? Did you get detention too?" Naruto teased, trying to get a (hopefully homo) reaction out of the Uchiha.

"Iruka asked me to help him mark some papers, dumbass." Sasuke replied, not bothering to look up from the pile of tests on his desk.

"Hey! Who said you could call me dumbass?"

Sasuke, still not looking up from his work, held up a piece of paper in his hand. The writing looked oddly familiar…

Marching over to him, Naruto snatched the paper out of his hands, preparing himself with a list of counter-arguments to use against the Uchiha.

Naruto's eyes narrowed and widened comically, the blood slowly draining out of his features.

Uzumaki Naruto – 17%.

Oh.

Sasuke smirked.

"Anything else, dobe?" Naruto felt himself flush.

"Well, that's just one tiny little test, and a test is just a test, I mean, who the hell gives a crap about those in the real world, huh? I'm sure the… well, I'm sure nobody gives a crap about them! And I'm know gay people don't either…" Naruto trailed off there, trying to see if his 'sneak' attack made any impact on the Uchiha.

Sasuke merely quirked up an eyebrow at the blond before once again turning his attention back to the work at hand.

"So, Sasuke, what do you think about gays?" Another cleverly disguised 'subtle' attack.

No reply was made, so Naruto decided to trudge on with this line of questioning, leaning on Sasuke's desk.

"Because, you know, I don't mind homos! I think they're good people, really, well, except for some of them, who are really bitchy ice-pricks, but I'm sure they can change if they just unleashed their emotions, confessed to the world (or at least all the people at school), you know? I think that all gays should get a boyfriend, and bring them to school." Naruto continued to ramble on, gesturing wildly with his hands as he became more and more impassioned in his speech.

"Now that we've had a nice chat about all of this," Naruto sauntered on, not at all bothered by the fact that the Uchiha had yet to participate in the conversation, "anything you'd like to confess? You can trust me, dattebayo!"

"Naruto…" Sasuke began, slowly looking up from his papers.

The blond quickly focused his attention on the onyx haired boy, mistaking an expression of annoyance for one preparing for a pained-confession.

"Yes, yes, go on!" Naruto leaned forward eagerly, tipping his chair forward so that his whole upper body leaned over Sasuke's desk.

"You're really loud, and annoying, so please shut up. I don't know if you're trying to confess to me, or what, but I'm not interested."

"Hey you bastard, I was just trying to help you come out… Wait. What?" Naruto's eyes widened, his brain finally comprehending what the Uchiha had said. "No, it's not like that, I'm not gay!"

Naruto shook his head back and forth frantically, leaning more forward in his chair.

"I'm not gay, not me! You're the one who's supposed to be—"

Naruto was cut off as his chair gave out beneath him, sending him crashing down on the floor.

"Augh, fuck! Ow ow ow ow!"

The Uchiha smirked. "Dobe."

Naruto felt his annoyance reach an all-time high, the humiliation and pain (oh God his ass hurt) only fueling the fire. He picked himself up off the floor slowly, and limped around the desks so that he was standing beside Sasuke's chair.

"You know what you bastard? I was trying to be the good guy by giving you a chance to confess and all, but you're so fucking rude to me! God, at least I was making an effort, but now, no more Mr. Nice-guy!" Naruto shouted. "Hey, look at me when I'm talking at least!"

Sasuke didn't take his eyes off his papers. Naruto sent a fist flying towards Sasuke.

A chair scraped against the floor, and Naruto found himself pressed against the wall, his small fist caught in Sasuke's hand. Sasuke was taller than him by half a head, but Naruto managed to stare up at him in defiance nonetheless.

"Let go of me, asshole!"

Silence. Eyes were locked together in a heated glare.

"I said, let go of me n—"

Naruto felt soft lips press harshly against his own, and then they were gone again.

"Urusai."

Ohoho! Whacha doing there, Sasuke-kun? :D

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter!

Tata!