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Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss.
A/N: Here's the last chapter! Enjoy =)
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What I Want
"I swear, he fell out on his own. Don't look at me like that!" Asch clenched his fists angrily, but nobody looked away. They all knew what had probably happened, and it showed in their glares and crossed arms that they felt ashamed of the Luke they had once known, the one named Asch.
"I think you should apologize to him later, darling, even if you're not at fault."
Suzanne smiled weakly at her son, unsure herself of what to expect from him. It had only been a couple months since his return, after all- and the horrible things he had been through would be enough to change anyone's heart. As much as she loved both of her boys, there was no way for her to reach out and connect with a son who pushed everyone away.
Luke stirred on the large mattress, and all eyes quickly turned to him. He was in a luxurious guest bed, off to the side of the manor where the room was bigger than his shared bedroom, in order to accommodate the guards and doctor. It seemed as though he was drowning in the covers, though- for a boy of twelve he was extremely scrawny and neither he nor his brother were taller than five foot. His feet barely reached the middle, and his arms outstretched were not anywhere near long enough to dangle over the ends- the doctor scooted his chair closer, but Luke was still practically out of reach. Red strands of hair covered his peaceful eyes, and his breathing was still even as he curled his un-bandaged hand and released it again in his sleep.
"I know there is much to discuss, but I believe it would be best to let the boy get some rest. I'm sure you will all understand…" the doctor bowed his head apologetically, trying to politely ask the audience to clear out. As far as he was concerned, the Fabre sons did not need this kind of attention, anyway.
Everyone left the room, and even the guards were told to retake their positions in the entrance hall. Maids went back to work, and the Duchess went back to the drawing room to continue her knitting. The Duke was still off at a conference, and Guy was assigned the duty of writing a letter to inform him of what happened. Asch walked back to the front of the manor with Natalia, but she wasn't saying anything- it was eerily quiet everywhere he looked.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he ran ahead of her, and stood in her path to confront her. Natalia turned her head and brushed past him rudely, without saying a word.
"We're going to be married someday, so you have to trust me Natalia!"
She walked faster, and as soon as she was out the front gate Asch saw her wiping away tears while she ran back to the castle. He sighed heavily, and cursed the replica under his breath as he trudged back inside. Later he went to visit Guy, but the servant was still writing that letter and had a lot of other work to do. Asch went up to his mother and tried to talk to her, but she became tired and went off to bed. In the end, he went to his room and sat on the top bunk- he fell asleep until a maid woke him up for dinner. Time passed extremely slowly after that, and eventually his hatred of the replica turned to something else.
…
"Luke… Luke, you still in here?" It felt weird calling someone else by that name, but he knew that in the end he was going to have to get used to it. Asch peeked in through a window, and saw that the room was even darker than the courtyard. Had they moved him to another bedroom? He decided to check in there anyway, and went around to the door. Creaking slightly, it opened wide and shed some light from the hallway, just bright enough for Asch to see his red-haired replica laying out on the bed. "So you are here, then. Did they forget about you?"
There was no response, but he had tapped into the kid's mind just moments ago and knew he was awake.
"C'mon, I know you're not sleeping." He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but it still repulsed him to see a big baby like that sharing his face, and his family.
"B-brother… h-haha… Luke is sorry." The sheets rustled as he turned to lay flat on his back.
Asch closed the door quietly after himself and climbed up onto the massive bed, crawling over the wrinkled covers towards his brother's voice.
"What for, stupid? You didn't do anything yet."
"Luke didn't want to win Monopoly, but…"
"Monopoly? What the… Monopoly…?" Asch wrinkled his face, trying to be patient and make sense out of his replica's baby talk. It wasn't easy. "Oh wait, you mean earlier today?"
"Uh huh… yeah. Luke is sorry."
"You dreck, that doesn't even matter to me. And you should never apologize for winning something, where is your pride? You have to man up! Or else I will never be able to accept you as a sibling, or as anything else."
"Oh… Luke is sorry." Even in the dark Asch knew that the kid was scared of him. If it wasn't the quivering eyes, it was the trembling body that gave him away. He wasn't even touching the guy and he felt the bed shaking. It was pathetic, and hard to believe… Asch knew that if they had swapped positions he wouldn't be cowering like that. He had always been strong. Right?
"A-Asch, why… why you come here?" Luke's eyes reflected some of the light from the window as he looked over at his brother suddenly, and smiled.
"Well, I- stop smiling like that! It's annoying…" He turned away from the kid and closed his eyes, sighing heavily. It was so hard not to be pissed at that mindless replica.
Luke rolled onto his side and tried to prop himself up with his bandaged arm, but recoiled instantly- it hurt. The bed bounced slightly as he stared off toward his brother's back. He wasn't used to the kind of hurt that stayed, and he wasn't sure what to make of it- he tried again, and this time it really hurt.
"Owww…"
"Stupid, don't use that arm if it hurts." Asch growled at him, and he stopped trying to move.
"Look, Luke… I'm only going to say this once so you better be paying attention. I'm sorry about today, alright? I know you don't even understand what I'm saying, but I'm sorry you had to break your arm that way. I should have told you not to climb the tree with me, but I thought you could do it…"
"Luke is happy, Luke climbed a tree!" He stared up at the ceiling, smiling widely to himself.
"Shut up. I'm trying to…"
"Issokay. Luke knows, and Luke is so happy!"
"Oh yeah? What do you know?" Asch sneered, and turned over to face the replica one more time.
"Luke knows we are brothers!" A thin little arm reached out toward him, and instead of swatting it away Asch allowed the dreck to hold his hand. He looked at the kid's genuine smile, and how he was bubbling with happiness… it was sickening to see his own face look like that, but Asch forced himself to swallow it for a moment since he was being forgiven. Even if everyone else hated him, somehow this failed copy was satisfied, at least.
"…yeah. Whatever." He blushed at the pure awkwardness of the moment, and tried to look away. He heard Luke giggling and it just about pushed him over the limit. He tried to breathe deeply and steel himself against getting angry again.
"Okay, one more thing. Let go of me first." Asch wrenched his hand away and sat up, wanting this to be over as quickly as possible… Luke looked at him curiously, and he almost felt like laughing. This was just stupid. Reaching deep into his trouser pocket, his fingers closed around the object at last.
"Okay, I have a present for you today, dreck. Close your eyes."
Luke did as he was told.
"Hold out your hand now, like this." Asch shaped the kid's hand, and made a little cup with his fingers. "Okay… yeah. Okay. Now, don't open your eyes."
"O-okay…" Luke looked somewhat apprehensive, and Asch felt a pang of pity. Then the butterflies were gone, and he wondered where that reaction had come from in the first place.
"There you go." He had to look away; he didn't want to deal with the replica's retarded face.
Luke opened his eyes slowly and looked at the small wrapped item in his hand. Leaning on his back, he unwound the white cloth with his good hand, cautiously tugging at the corners until it came undone. In the center of the fabric, a flat round object settled on top of his stomach and he picked it up carefully, bringing it close to his face and squinting in the dark to get a better look. "This… this is a cookie?" Luke was incredulous, his eyes became round like plates. He turned it around in his hand, admiring the small miracle in front of him.
"Yeah. You wanted one this morning, so… well, this was the last one."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Sorry it kind of melted, it was in my pocket all day and I kind of forgot it was there, so…" Asch scratched the back of his head, staring off through the window at a planter across the way.
"Issokay. I love cookie! Thanks you, Asch."
"Y- whoa. You just said 'I'…"
"Luke did?"
Asch sighed. It wasn't like he cared whether the replica learned how to talk. They sat there in silence for a minute or so, listening to each other breathe.
"Well, go ahead. Aren't you going to eat it?"
"Ah, but… Luke is…" he paused, thinking- "Luke wants…"
"Just say it, dreck. Stop complaining and just tell me."
"Luke wants to share… Asch too?" He lifted the cookie up with his good hand, holding it over his head and glancing over at his brother to see what he would say.
"No. Just eat it. I had plenty of them with Natalia, when we were having tea."
"Oh…" Luke's arm sank back to resting on his stomach, and he tried to not think about being sad. But all he wanted was to share something with his brother… he felt tears coming and was suddenly scared of that more than anything. He didn't want to ruin this time… surely Asch would hate him again if he cried…
"Ugh, what is it now, dreck? Just eat it already. I want to go sleep."
Luke sniffled, and put down the cookie to rub his eyes. He turned away from his brother and the cookie slid off his stomach onto the bed covers.
"Oh come on. I give you a cookie, and you cry? What in Lorelei's name is your problem?" Asch leaned over towards the kid and grabbed his shoulder roughly, but Luke refused to roll onto his back. He wiped his eyes vigorously, and tried to hold everything in- this was not the time to give up. This was not the time to make Asch angry.
"Sorry Asch." He took a deep breath, and continued wiping his eyes. "I want to share."
"You what?"
"I want to share with brother! I want to…" Luke kept his eyes closed, and breathed deeply to stop his crying. He knew it would only bring him misery to cry… the hand on his shoulder loosened, and there was a pause.
"Well… okay. Don't get all worked up about it..."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Asch let go of the kid and flopped down on the bed next to him, staring up at the ceiling. The dreck had just spoken a proper sentence… it was a bit shocking to say the least.
Luke found the cookie again and rolled onto his back- to his surprise Asch had scooted closer, and now their shoulders were touching. He smiled as the tears went away, and he tried to break the cookie with one hand.
"Oh… here, give me that." Asch took the cookie and broke it perfectly into two. He handed one half to his red-haired replica, and took the other for himself. Then they stared up at the dark ceiling and ate the last cookie together, sharing one brief moment without hatred or fear... for that one moment they were just brothers, nothing more and nothing less.
.
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A/N: I love little kid Asch and Luke... maybe I'll write another fic like this sometime in the future.
Thanks for reading! =)