Title: In This Life

By DarkestForever

Beta Read by Tantotat

Rating: T (at most)

Genre: romance/drama/ character death/rebirth/yaoi

Summary: If fate cruelly stole everything you had; would you have the strength to fight to win it all back?

Disclaimer: All characters and rights of the Junjou Romantica world belong to Shungiku Nakamura and her publishers Blu. This fanfiction is written with no intention of earning any royalties or money. It is for the sole purpose of free enjoyment for the junjou romantica fangirls and boys like myself who are killing time until manga volumes 11 and 12, or another series of the Anime appears on our screens. All chapter titles are suggestive music titles that influenced my inspiration for the direction of this story and are the property of the artists who took the time to write and record them. All sourced through appropriate purchases through Itunes, please support the artists. All quotes are from the some of the great minds and inspirational people, please do check out these words of wisdom.

The only part of this story I claim are the characters created outside of the Junjou Romantica and the plotline that features in this story.

Other works based on events of this story are in the work so please look out for Junjou Terrorist story: All Those Yesterdays and Junjou Romantica story: Both Sides of Now in the near future.

Any questions please don't hesitation to get in touch.

Prologue: The Last Night on Earth (Delta Goodrem)

May you live a thousand years, and I, a thousand less one day;

So that I might never know the world without you.

~Hungarian Proverb~

Kamijou Hiroki had a secret fetish.

He loved to watch his lover sleep. His dark-haired lover slumbered peacefully, unaware of Hiroki's gaze. Dark brown eyes studied the half-naked form beneath the covers; he appreciated the fine god-like form and beautiful, kind face his young lover possessed. The only imperfections were the dark rings of exhaustion circling under his lover's closed eyes. Nowaki had been working the nightshift at the hospital for the last week; he collapsed into bed minutes before Hiroki had to get up to prepare for the day ahead. In a week they had barely spoken or spent time together, save for the brief morning embrace that his lover insisted on having before resigning himself to the world of dreams. Where, no doubt, he was dreaming of romantic nonsense.

Picking up his satchel, Hiroki unclipped the front and peered inside for a moment before reaching in to remove the wrapped package. He half-smiled as he quietly placed the package on the bedside table. A note, carefully folded in half, accompanied the package - an important message for his lover. Today was the day: Kusama Nowaki's life was going to change. This Valentine's Day, there were more than just chocolate surprises waiting.

Bending down, Hiroki brushed a few tousled locks of hair out of his lover's face. He was so immensely proud of his lover, Nowaki having achieved so much in the last eight years. Though it had not been the easiest road, Hiroki would not change their journey; after eight years, he was coming to realise that finding even fleeting happiness in this world was difficult. His pride might prevent him from demonstrating the depths of his feelings on a regular basis, but when the gestures came, he knew that Nowaki understood how special they were. He knew how much he was cherished and loved despite the constant abuse he tolerated from his Hiro-san, who was not the easiest person to love.

Straightening, he stared at his lover once more. The ruffled, sleeping form of his lover was almost too tempting to leave, but Hiroki knew that later there would be plenty of time to enjoy reacquainting himself with his lover. Their Valentine's Day reunion had great promises of pleasure.

If only he had known what lay ahead, he would have made sure to kiss his lover goodbye. He would have whispered to Nowaki those most important words that he would later regret not having said enough.

* * * * *

At a quarter to six, Hiroki locked up his office, irritated at the amount of hormones haunting the halls of university. Every class he taught had been full of lovey-dovey students, chocolate and love notes circling the rooms. The lack of intelligent answers in his class had tested his patience beyond its limits. Chalk bouncing off heads had failed to deter the daydreamers from their romantic notions. Worse still, the 'love-bug' had enraptured his colleagues, too!

Giggles coming from under Miyagi's office told him just to keep walking. Bidding farewell to Miyagi was pointless, for the reason that he was too involved in being molested by his younger lover. Hiroki hesitated for a moment, as a message's arrival jiggled in his pocket. Fishing out his phone, he flipped open the cover; a passing female student received the shock of her life as the 'Demon' looked happy for a moment. Satisfied by the message's contents, he swung his bag over his shoulder, and continued on his way. He had an important date.

What Kamijou Hiroki did not know was that fate had an important date for him to keep; as he hurried to meet his lover, the countdown accelerated. As he reached the front gate of the University, the wheels of destiny began to turn. Pulling up his coat collar, he cursed himself for leaving his umbrella behind in his office. Glancing at his watch, he opted to risk the weather. He only had twenty minutes before his date. Despite the emotional armor behind which he hid his feelings, Hiroki was truly eager to see his lover. Words weren't necessary to show how much he missed Nowaki when he worked nights. Their brief embraces and desperate kisses conveyed the ache they felt. Nights like this meant so much.

Bolting through the park, Hiroki dashed through the torrents of rain. Irked at the weather, he missed the rumbling that echoed across the sky. Emerging close to the shopping centre, he weaved in between the shoppers. Happy couples wandering under umbrellas, sharing romantic evenings together.

He stopped at the lights, and stood waiting for them to change. A woman drew up beside him, holding a small gift bag. She smiled at him as he quirked an eyebrow at the extreme patterns on the bag. She groaned briefly, only to blush as he quirked eyebrow at the strange noise. She pointed at her slightly rounded stomach with a smile. Pregnant, Hiroki guessed. Family.

Her phone rang, breaking their shared gaze.

Family.

The thought stuck in his mind.

Family.

He wondered how Nowaki would react.

Lost in thought, he began to cross the road as the light changed. Half aware of the world's goings-on around him. He missed the confused features of the crowd as the echoing din approached. The pregnant woman stepped off the pavement after him crossing the road, her chattering distracting her.

Unseen to the world, two destinies converged…

The sirens screamed loudly.

Squeals of tires caught his attention; glancing left, Hiroki saw the speeding car and flashing lights. The blood in his veins froze as the car skidded on the wet road surface…

…The woman behind him screamed…

…Spinning on his heel, he reacted on impulse…

…In a blur of action… two figures disappeared from view, out of the blinding headlights… a dull thud rang out… screeches… smashing of glass and crunching of metal.

A deathly silence.

In a heartbeat, several destinies changed forever.

Pain shot through every fiber of his being, as Hiroki attempted to push himself up. Trembling, one arm collapsed under him with a sickening crunch. Fresh waves of torturous pain causing him to grit his teeth together to stop himself from crying out. Testing his other arm, he managed to rise up on one elbow that seemed uninjured. He looked up to see the pregnant woman breathing rapidly in front of him. He was about to ask her if she was hurt, when he noticed her face. A look of stark horror was written across her features. Blinking, he wondered what was wrong.

Words froze on his lips, as he understood why.

The puddle before him was red… red with blood.

The rain started coming down hard, he noticed. Brushing his tongue over his dry lips, Hiroki turned back to the pregnant woman as she crawled close to him. She shrugged off her coat, draping it around his shoulders. His body shook with the effort of fighting the pain off and staying upright. His chest felt so tight. A police office appeared as he slumped forward, unable to resist the level of pain throbbing in his abdomen.

The world was blurry as he sank down. Panic began to eat at his heart. What was wrong with him? Small female hands caught his head before it hit the road's surface. A voice of authority barked orders overhead. The woman moved closer, lifting his head slightly to rest it in her lap. A sweet scent of tangy fruit blossoms mixed with rich chocolate assailed his senses. Warmth encompassed his chilled form, from both her jacket and her lap.

"Please hold on," a soft feminine voice urged.

A strange numbness overcame Hiroki; he felt detached from his senses. The pain became a fuzzy tingle, like the sensation of pins and needles in his limbs. His drenched clothes and the cold seeping through his skin became a distant annoyance in his consciousness. Calmness settled in his mind, the noisy world drifting away.

"Come on buddy, hold on in there."

The male voice pulled his awareness of the world back. It was a desperate attempt, but Hiroki tried to focus on the woman's face above him. He had to concentrate hard to focus. He had to hold on...

"Keep him talking," the police office instructed.

The woman nodded. She stroked her fingers through his hair, smiling gently down at him. She would be a good mother, Hiroki thought to himself. Her eyes, however, were unable to lie. Hiroki understood in that moment what was coming.

"You saved our lives," she croaked. "You're a hero."

"Or… an… idiot."

A painful shudder wracked his body, leaving Hiroki panting as he gritted his teeth.

"Easy," the woman said, stroking his hair again. "My name is Modori Keiko. What's my hero's name?"

"Kami-jou Hir-oki." He gasped.

"A Hiro by name and deed."

Hiro… Hiro… Hiro… he thought, struggling to fight the encroaching fogginess consuming his mind. Nowaki! The image of his lover caused his heart to twinge. The tears overcame his pride as the happy image of his dark haired lover swam past his mind's eye. Lifting a blood-caked hand, Hiroki grasped the fingers stroking his hair. The grasp was weak, but he managed to attract her attention.

"Will… you do something… for me?"

Bending down, Modori Keiko sobbed uncontrollably as she listened to the last words that Kamijou Hiroki would ever utter in this lifetime. Leaning close to hear his hoarse gasps, she watched his brown eyes, sorrowful and pained, fix upon her blue ones. She knew as his eyes turned glassy, his eyes saw someone else in her place.

He softly whispered three words. 'Wait… for…me…"

When Kamijou Hiroki died, his last and only thought was Nowaki…

* * * * *

...Her first and only thought was Nowaki.

Komori Hiroko was born on the 15th of February. Her infant mind was shadowy and confused by the newness of her world, but she instinctively knew three things beyond the comfort of her mother's warmth. Nowaki: he was the most important part of her and he was missing…

She wanted him.

She missed him.

She loved him with all her heart and soul.

(To be continued...)