"Good night, I love you" my dad says to me. Sitting up on my bed I mentally cringe. I hate this.
My mind flashes back to my earliest memories, I'd just dropped my plate of oranges and my dad went crazy, yelling me, hitting me and then sending me to my room to sit in solitude. All over a stupid plate of oranges.
On top of that, he's got these crazy goals for me like I'll graduate #1 in all my classes. That's never going to happen and I think he knows that but he likes to yell at me when I fail anyways. A long time ago I got a B on my report card. My dad hit me so hard I got a fat lip for over a week. Thank god I was only in grade 1, I don't think my friends now a days would believe that I "tripped and fell" on my mouth of all places. Since then he's hit me tons more times. I ignore them now. I've learned not to show weakness in front of him. It shows that he affects me and I don't ever want him to see that.
I don't think I've lived a single day of my life where my dad hasn't yelled at me. He's big, loud and swings when he's angry but it doesn't affect me now. I've learned to adapt. I've learned to think before speaking and just avoid him whatever chance I get.
However, he's still my dad, he read to me when I was a kid, stayed up all night with me when I wasn't feeling well. He's bought me everything I've ever wanted that he can get. He gives me food, shelter, clothes and much more. My head tells me it's a decent price to pay but my heart is saying otherwise. Would I love him if it wasn't for his money? I've been asking myself that question ever since I was 5 and now that I'm 15 I still don't know the answer.
All these thoughts are racing through my head at a thousand thoughts per second. I blink once and look at my dad. He's standing there looking down at me on my bed waiting for me to say the right words. I say them automatically. "I love you too dad".
I see him smile. I turn off my lamp and my dad walks out of the room. He's happy that I've said the right words but deep down inside, as I lay down in the dark I don't know if I have.....
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I wrote this a long time ago for a writing workshop for school. They told me to write something in 15 min and hand it in and they'd assess "what level I was in" or something like that. I dug it out today and realized it could be used for Ed and Hohenheim and I could expand on it so here it is.....Reviews would be greatly appreciated. I accept anonymous reviews too. ^_^