Panacea- noun.

A solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases.

Chapter 1

Grief. That was the first thing I became aware of. The blackness pressed in on me— everything was confused—but the grief stood out, overshadowing everything else. What had happened? Where was I? How...? The questions stumbled and meandered idly around my mind as I tried to first comprehend the wrenching pain that tore at my chest.

My chest.

Something about this tugged at my memory—what was it? I focused on the breathing that moved my aching chest up and down, trying to understand. Then I understood; it was not just breath that caused my chest to expand, it was my breath. My own. I could control it. I marveled at this revelation—et my breath stop for a moment just to test this unfamiliar power over my body.

"Mel?"

Something else, something very different from grief, stirred in my heart when I heard the voice. The enveloping darkness began to fade, awareness taking its place.

"Mel? Can you hear me?"

My mind was becoming clearer, and I was becoming aware of myself. I was lying on my back. There was a light somewhere above me, turning my eyelids a faint orange. More was coming back to me now, the vague sense of loss and the strange sensation of control began to piece together, and all too soon, my blissful ignorance was ripped from me as my mind violently collided with ice-cold reality.

"Wanda!" I was too terrified to be shocked that my words—my own words—were coming from my mouth, and that every muscle in my body tensed in anticipation of my command. My eyes flew open and I wrenched my body upwards. But I was disoriented again—my sudden movement made my head swirl, and I recoiled away from the light that hit my eyes. What was I doing? I couldn't waste my time trying to adjust to having control over my own body again. Where is Wanda? I thought frantically. Oh God, please PLEASE let Doc have lied to her. I can't let her die...

I was barely aware of my body shaking until the voice—his voice—spoke again.

"Mel? Mel!"

I felt his hands on my shoulders, shaking me, trying to jolt me into reality. But I was already aware of reality. As my eyes adjusted, they found his face just inches away from my own. A small part of me soared with unthinking delight, but the rest of my mind was miles ahead. Jared was safe, but someone else I loved might not be. I jerked away from his hold and onto my unsteady feet, my eyes roving around the shadows of the hospital room. They found another man standing a few feet away from me, looking slightly shocked at my actions.

"Wanda!" my voice shouted frantically. "Where is she? You didn't... you wouldn't... you can't let her die!" I shrieked, my eyes still darting around, searching for any hint of feathery silver.

Doc opened his mouth, but before he could speak I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder.

"She's fine Melanie, see? She's not going anywhere." Jared's hand spun me around to face him. His other arm, I now saw, was cradling a glowing cryotank. I stared at it for a moment and then closed my eyes, letting the warm relief wash through me as I saw that my friend—my sister—was safe. I didn't care at the moment what had happened, why Doc hadn't let her die... the relief overshadowed everything else.

I remained like that for a few moments, just basking in the absence of the heart-wrenching fear for Wanda's life, until a sensation I could not ignore pulled my eyes open—Jared's hand squeezed my shoulder gently.

When I looked up at him, I saw with a small shock that he looked anxious, almost... nervous. Something rare for him. He stared right back at me, eyes searching restlessly. I realized he was waiting for me to speak. My lips curved up slightly.

"Jared," I breathed. My voice was barely above a whisper, but I heard—and he could, too—everything I wanted to say to him, communicated with that single beautiful word.

"Melanie."

I leaned towards him, my heart throbbing with anticipation. I was vaguely aware of him setting the cryotank down with tender care, but all I could really focus on was his face, his brilliant eyes locked on mine, until our bodies were pulled together as if by a magnetic force. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. I fit my face into the curve of his neck, my hands tracing his jawline, his cheeks, knotting in his hair as I felt the fire between us spark.

I relished the feeling of my control, how my muscles obeyed my every wish. How many times had I ached to reach for Jared since I first laid eyes on him in the caves, only to be powerless against Wanda's stubborn control? And how often had I wanted to be near him, to be close enough to touch him, without her being there between us? Now that the dread of losing Wanda had been lifted, now that I knew she was safe outside my body... I had to admit I was more than ecstatic to have myself back.

As I thought this over, I remained secured to Jared's chest. His hands pressed me gently against him, rubbing the middle of my back as I felt his face bury in my hair. I savored this simple and tender embrace, but the building fire was too much for me to ignore. I needed more of him. Now.

My arms wrapped like a vice around his neck and I pulled my face up until my lips met his. The slower burning suddenly was out of control; frantic desire replaced all else.

I don't know how long we kissed. It could have been days. I could have continued forever; I never would have enough to be fully satisfied, and I could tell he felt the same way. Eventually I broke away, gasping, trying to catch my breath. He kept me tight in his arms; I could feel his warm breath on my skin. I leaned my forehead against his chest as my breathing slowed. He bent his head down to me, his breath tickled my ear.

"Ah, Mel," He whispered. I could hear the tears in his voice. "I missed you."

I laughed a shaky laugh. "I was never gone," I murmured. "Just... a little out of sight." I raised my face to look into his eyes. I saw the moisture building up, threatening to overflow, and I saw my own face reflected in his eyes, tears already sparkling dimly on my cheeks. I was too happy to be embarrassed.

"Ahem," a voice near us said. I regretfully tore my gaze away from Jared's face to see who had interrupted us.

Doc was still standing by his desk. He took a hesitant step towards me. It took me a moment to decipher his expression, why he seemed mildly nervous. Of course I already knew him—had seen him just as clearly as Wanda had throughout all our time in the caves, however, he did not know me. As I watched him take another step, part of my mind wondered idly how the others would react to me. Most (except Jamie, of course) had never seen me separate from the soul who had controlled my body. Would I be welcomed with open arms like the seeker's host Lacey had been?

Doc was now in front of me; I snapped out of my contemplations and unwillingly pulled myself loose from Jared's arms, keeping one of his hands.

"How do you feel, Melanie?" he asked, eyes alight with curiosity.

"Perfect, Doc," I said. He jumped slightly when I addressed him so casually. I tried not to laugh at his reaction.

"You don't feel dizzy, disoriented..." he trailed off.

"No, I'm fine," I assured him with a smile. Jared squeezed my hand gently.

"Well..." he mumbled, searching for words. He must have been expecting me to be like the Healer's host—to be confused and frightened. My apparent ease threw him for a moment.

"What can you remember?" he pressed, regaining his train of thought.

I shrugged. "Everything, really". His eyes widened. "I never lost myself to Wanda, except..." I winced, remembering that blank space after Wanda had seen...

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the echo of her horror. I glanced up at Jared's face; I could see the mask he used when he was trying to hide a strong emotion. His hand tightened around mine.

My hesitation was very brief. "I remember everything from my life before Wanda, and I was always present in her mind when she was inside of me," I lied smoothly. No need to make Doc feel even worse about what he was doing to those kidnapped souls... however, I could see he had picked up on my discomfort, so before he could question me further, I changed the subject.

"So what happened?" I asked, looking down and briefly touching Wanda's tank with my free hand. "Not that I'm mad, but you gave Wanda your word that you would do what she wanted." I looked questioningly at Doc, who now seemed troubled. His face twisted into a grimace. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly, turning away from me. Jared broke the silence.

"Like I was just going to let her walk away from us," he said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes at the apparent absurdity of the idea. His eyes met mine for a moment before he released my hand and bent down to pick up the cryotank. He gazed down at the glowing red light and sighed. "Ian was right. She is too important to just leave. We need her here. And I..." He hesitated. "She's my friend."

I felt slightly warmed by this admission, but he hadn't really answered my question.

"But what happened, exactly?" I persisted. "Wanda told Doc not to get you until..." I cringed. "Did you know what she was planning?"

Jared grimaced. "Not exactly, but I guessed enough. Why else would she make me wait? I thought it was a little strange that she didn't want me to be there. She's such a selfless little thing. She would never have denied me anything like that unless..." he trailed off.

"Unless she knew you would try to stop her." I sighed. I was grateful that Jared had paid enough attention to her before; he knew her well enough to see through her flimsy lies and excuses. "So you followed her."

"Yes," he admitted. "I, um...convinced Doc to put her in a tank once she was under."

Doc snorted. I looked at him, surprised. He rolled his eyes at Jared before turning towards my confused expression.

"Convinced," me muttered, shaking his head. "I'd say coerced is a more appropriate word."

Jared grinned sheepishly. "Well..." he glanced at me. " 'Convinced with a knife' might be more accurate."

I laughed. Violence: the typical human way to solve a problem. I guess Wanda was somewhat right on that account. I turned to Jared and reached for Wanda's cryotank. He placed it gently in my hands. The outside was warm; I held it against my chest.

"She'll be furious," I sighed, "But I think she'll get over it."

Jared nodded. Doc turned absently and began to clean up his work area.

"So what do we do with her now?" I murmured, looking down at the muted red light of the cryotank.

Author's Notes

- Before anyone asks, it's pronounced pan-uh-SEE-uh. I apologize for the pretentiousness of the title.

- This is a slight revision of the original story I posted in 2009. I fixed a lot of small grammatical errors and cleaned up some of the wordiness. I hope you enjoy it.