Disclaimer : Me no own Transformer, they own by Hasbro/Takara… *Grimlock style^^*

A/N: here's something sad and short for the OP/SS contest on DevArt… Takes place before and during the 1986 Animated movie. It's introspective and spirituyal, but I think it's good… I'll let you be judge of it!

Lost Sparks

"We shouldn't be meeting… If anyone discovers it, we'll be both in deep slag…" Said the high-pitched, slightly screechy voice.

A low chuckle answered that worried, slightly afraid statement and strong arms snaked to wrap around a slender white and red waist. Starscream shuddered and let his secret lover held him close to hi spark, letting his helm rest on his broad chest with a deep, contented sight.

"Let them talk… Rumours will always run free whatever we do to prevent it, my spark. Besides, I would never let Megatron touch you. He doesn't even deserve to look at you, my beloved Star…"

Starscream had a little half-smile at that statement and curled into his lover tighter. It was so good to be held, stroke, protected by such a strong, powerful mech… He lifted his helm as a digit gently pushed his chin up and met the blue, unwavering gaze of Optimus Prime. He was captured in a deep, passionate kiss and let out a little needy moan, arching into his lover's embrace. Starscream chuckled lightly when he was released and shot a mischievous look at Optimus, tracing the seam in the middle of his chestplates with a single digit.

"But he's my bondmate… How could I deny him to touch me, hum...?" he said teasingly and then kissed his lover again as he growled in annoyance at this reminder. "Awe, I love you when you get all protective, Optimus… Do it again and I'll reward you!"

Optimus growled again and kissed him a little fiercely, like if he wanted to claim the seeker as his own, biting down slightly at his lips and dragging some energon that he licked clean. After a long moment, he freed him from his grip and locked optics with him, a dangerous and lustful look shining in the depths of his ice-blue optics.

"That slagtard don't even deserve to be your slave, let alone your bondmate! I don't know how he managed to do this in the first place… I should kill him and claim you as mine once and for all!"

At that, Starscream's optics darkened and a sad glint shone on them as he freed himself from his lover's embrace to turn away, thoughtful and a little embarrassed. For a long time, he was silent, and looked at the two moons of Cybertron hanging in the sky above them. When he spoke again, he had a dreamy, regretful voice filled with good memories of a long gone past.

"He wasn't always like that… In the beginning, after I first met him and joined the Decepticons, he was nice, gentle and caring for me. And that lasted for a long time… Until it became clear that the war was on a stalling point and that we were going to loose in the long run… It was then that he started being violent, abusive and accusing me for everything and all that goes wrong in his plans!"

His tune, towards the end, had gotten bitter and sour, like some stalled energon had stuck on his tanks, and Optimus came behind him and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him to try to comfort him as he felt his raising hire and regrets. He laid some light, sweet kisses on his neck and caressed his wings, which made the seeker shiver and moan a little, arching on his lover's frame.

"At least, I got Thundercracker and Skywarp… probably the only good thing he ever gave me, this no-good glitch!"

Optimus chuckled again and let his servos caress his front and cockpit as he was still working on his neck cables. He knew for his lover's twin sons, and was probably one of the few to know than the two other seekers were in fact Starscream's and Megatron's sons. They are real young in Cybertronian Standards, only 6 millions years, not counting the time spent in stasis lock on Earth.

"In that case, why didn't you leave him long ago? You should've come to us and we… I'LL welcome you with open arms. You and your sons, if you asked it…"

Starscream shrugged and then dropped the subject dismissively. He didn't want to talk about it; it was too painful and brought back too much memories of a time that will never return. Megatron was a slagger and nothing more, and as for Starscream, he was already history. The next day, the Autobots were going to leave for Autobot City on Earth and then… Megatron planned to follow them and attack the shuttle, killing its occupants and invade and destroy the Autobot City on Earth.

As if it would work… It was the reason for his presence here tonight, first and foremost. To warn his lover of his men's incoming doom, and his own.

"Tomorrow, some of your officers are going back to Earth. Megatron is planning on attacking the shuttle that will leave Cybertron and kill its occupants. He wants to invade Autobot City and destroy it, but it will be a trap… A scheme to bring you there to your own doom."

Optimus stayed silent for a long time, still hugging and stroking him from behind, but he nodded finally and kissed his neck teasingly.

"I see… Thank you I know how dangerous it is for you to come and give me information like this. I admire your courage, Starscream…"

"Courage? I don't think so… All I want is to get rid of Megatron once and for all! He's going crazier and crazier as the time pass and I fear he'll become even more dangerous when he finally lost it completely." He then turned and faces his lover to lock optics with him, worried and concerned for him. "Please, don't be reckless! I don't want you to be killed for nothing! Promise me, Optimus!"

The taller mech leaned down and kissed his lover deeply, possessively again, lust and want clear in his movements. He wasn't going to let Megatron kill him that easily… And wanted his lover to know it clearly! But those news… they were worrisome and he wasn't going t oversee this.

"I promise, I will be carefull…"

After this, no more words were shared and the rest of the nigh was spent in a far more pleasurable activity, letting the two lovers exhausted but satiated, looking at the moons as they were setting behind the horizon as the night ended…

oOo

Optimus's POV

I lost… I promised my beloved Starscream I will stay safe and not be reckless, but I had to break that promise when the lives of my men where in dire danger and I lost… Megatron killed me. I may not be dead yet, but it's all the same… the wound I sustaine are deadly, I know it. My Spark casing is breached and my main fuel line is severed. I'm dying, there is no denying it, now…

I'm not afraid of death. I know I have nothing to fear about what may await me on the afterlife. What I am afraid off is what would happen to Starscream, now… because megatron knows. He knows about us and, in the heat of our battle, when we were entangled togheter, he whispered to me, in this cruel and sadistic tune of his.

"I know about the little affair you have with my bitchy bondmate, Prime… And once we are back on Cybertron, I will make it priority to make the treacherous slagger pay dearly for cheating on my back!" And he added, poisonous jealousy dripping of his tune. "Was he good, prime? Did he squirm and scream your name in the heat of passion…? Did he looks like an angel when he overloads…?"

It made me enraged and I lost control… I attacked him fiercely and without thinking, and he took advantage of it. I became reckless and forgot all common sense… Which leads me to my current predicament, and put Starscream in great danger. But I think I managed to hurt Megatron just as much as he did to me. Maybe I'm mistaken and he'll deactivate just as I will in mere minutes.

I hope so…

I look at the peoples around me… Some of my most trusted soldiers. And I lost so much more of my closest friends today…. Prowl, Ratchet, Ironhide, Wheeljack, Cliffjumper, and many more… My spark ache at the thought of the torn and battered bodies of my men lying on the battlefield, or taken by surprise and killed on the spot in the shuttle bringing them to Earth.

Arcee is crying, I can hear her… As well as Hot Rod. That youngling has potential, but it is to my oldest friend and most trusted warrior that I shall pass the matrix Of Leadership. Ultra Magnus is unwilling, worried, but he accepts nonetheless. He doesn't have much choice… but oddly. Something tells me that it's not the best choice, that it's not the Matrix's choice. But I can't go back now… my time is almost gone, and the Matrix is now passed to another barer. My vision is filled with statics and the pain is now gone. I feel… numb, empty, like an already lifeless shell.

In my last moment, all I can think of is Starscream… How I would've loved to hold him one more time into my arms, kiss him and make him overload screaming to the heavens. Say him 'I love you' and hear it back from his delicious, sensual mouthplates… And meaning every bits of it. I can almost feel his lips on mine as I live the very last moment of my life, and hear his voice in my audio, whispering a little 'I love you' to me… I feel a sinlge tear run down my cheek from the corner of my right optic, and it is odd because I can,t feel anything else… Only that last tear leaving my body as I cease to function, breathing a very last word that no one but me could hear…

"Star… Scream…"

And it's over. I die now; I feel myself leaving my body as it turns grey and pulled towards the wheel of allspark, the Matrix where all good Cybertronian sparks goes when they die. For a long time all I can see and feel is light, bright and warm. It's a little frightening and overwhelming, though, and I try to shy away from it. But it's everywhere… And soon afterwards, I feel it. I'm in the presence of our primal creation Force, the one we call our God… Primus… And he welcomes my Spark in his realm of light and pure energy with open arms… so to speak, since there are no physical references here.

But then I feel Starscream is deactivated as well… Is spark is wandering the void between the Pit and the Wheel of Allspark, tugged between the two, and trapped there for all eternity because he could neither go here where I stand, nor in the Pit as he's not as evil as he let everyone see he was.

My own Spark ache at that idea and I try to reach for him, I try to plead for him to be welcomed here, but I cannot touch him or feel him other then a faint feeling he is indeed dead and wandering around like a lost Spark. I can see him… A ghostly, diluted form, white and translucent, far below, reaching desperately for me, for the light I am in. I reach for him as desperately as he did, but we're separated by an entire world, an universe is between us, and the infinite void of space is filled with his undying tears, like a thousands of stars falling and shining in the heavens.

oOo

Starscream's POV

My beloved Optimus is dead and Megatron have to pay for this.

We are on board of Astrotrain and going back to Cybertron after that disastrous battle at Autobot City, and the casualty is very high… Including my sons TC and Warp! My spark is aching for them but they ware too badly damaged to be saved, that much I know. I go to them as they both lay curled together in a corner of the shuttle and knelt next to my sons. I now have a better look of their injuries and shivers. Skywarp misses and arm and part of his chest, on the right side, and his wings are torn. He also miss almost a half o his faceplates and an optic. Thundercracker miss wings, a leg and his abdomen his torn open and gut internal circuitry all around. It looks both painful and deadly… for the both of them, time is counted, I just know it.

And I have to talk to them because if I want to get rid of the injured Megatron, I'll have to get rid of all the wounded… Including them.

"M-mother… It hurts… So much…" TC's voice was so hollow and low I have to crouch to hear him.

I take him into my lap, not caring if anyone can see me, and hugged Skywarp close as well. They both hold shakily into my chassis and I have to fight the urge to cry out loud. But I gathered my courage and tell my dying sons what I need to do and why, and at my greatest surprise, both accept their fate with a resigned serenity. They both know they are dying, and that nothing can be done to save them. So at least, they can make their bastard of a father pay in the process.

Soon I had the wounded thrown in space to float until deactivation, and in secret, afterward; I'll mourn my poor creations and their dire fate. But Megatron is gone and I can now take what is rightfully mine, his bondmate. I would take power for myself and put many changes on the way the Decepticons army is led. And make a peace treaty with the Autobots is a first priority. Now I would be in peace and with my lover with no one to stand in our way… What I don,t know is that Optimus is already dead and gone to the Matrix… But this I will discover soon enough.

My coronation doesn't go the way I pictured it at all… Well, it begins nicely and all was going according to plan until that strange looking shuttle came in and landed, ruining his ceremony. Three mechs came out of said shuttle and something is dreadfully familiar with those mechs, almost like I already know them even if their designs are unknown to me. I frown for a moment as I cross their optics. They sent shivers down my spinal unit…

I don't wonder that long, though, because the one with the orange, mean looking canon attached to his arm – the one looking awfully like Megatron in his expression and general attitude – transform into a canon and fire at me before I even have time to think about moving. I am hit square in the chest and… I don't know what kind of weapon this is but it's awfully powerful… And in a matter of second I feel numbness all aver my body, after the worst pain I ever felt hit me hard as a ton of bricks.

And the next thing I know… I'm dead and floating in a creepy void between two worlds. I'm dead but I'm not in the Pit… Which is surprising for me in a way seeing how often cheated, betrayed, lied and all those happy things. I'm not in the Wheel of Allspark either, because I'm not good enough to deserve to be there. I'm in what humans would call 'limbo' I think… There neither time nor space here and I really don,t know how long I floated in the void between worlds until I felt it. A pull on my Spark, a well-know feeling, like something dear to me that I had forgotten and tried hard to remember now…

Optimus… Yes, it is him, I know it! And he's far far away from me but so close at the same time. There is only a thin line between us, but unbreakable. He's in the Wheel of Allsark… Where else could he be? The kind, good Leader of the Autobots… So he is dead too. In a way I was relieved, but it broke my Spark just the same. I stand on the other side of the line, on the Transformer's equivalent of the limbo, and reach for him restlessly, in hope some day I'll be granted access and join with him in the afterlife… but is it possible? I have done so much wrong, made so many bad choices in my life, that I doubt it… So I would ever be there, watching out of reach, desperate and wandering in sorrow, dreaming of a day when I world, at least, be at peace…

oOo

So close and so far away at the same time… We are and always will be separated, Lost Sparks trying to reach for the other and always failing…

END…