a/n: this story is VERY dark and angsty. you have been warned.

Rob POV

My hands were shaking. A line from a Simple Plan song kept replaying in my head over, and over again.

"How could this happen to me?"

I loved her. How could she be so fucking blind? She was my world, my flower. I wanted to marry her, have children with her, and walk with her on this path that you call life, hand in hand.

Her green eyes were burned into my brain. Her sad, green, pained eyes. I offered her everything I had, and she had rejected me. She rejected me in the worst way possible.

I took another long, lazy drag from my cigarette and picked up the gun from the coffee table. I turned it around carefully in my hands... the hands of a broken man.

I began to sob, tears staining my plaid shirt. I screamed in agony. No, there was no physical pain. Only hurt and sorrow.

I angrily set the gun down, defeated. I picked up my beer and began pacing the room. The silence was overwhelming me, so I turned on the stereo at full blast. The lyrics of the song that started made my heart ache.. ache for the girl I had lost.. the girl that had changed my world.

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

got nowhere to run

I walked back to the table that held my fate. That goddamn gun was taunting me.

'Do it, Rob.' it chanted at me, inviting. I threw the beer across the room, causing it to smash violently against the wall. In the background, the song continued.

The night goes on as I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just want to scream

The words held an undeniable sense of truth. I was sick of this life, and I did just want to scream.

So, I did scream.

I screamed for all I had lost, and all I would never get to experience. I was Robert Pattinson, 'The Sexiest Man In America'. And yet, all I wanted was her.

The song finished, a melancholy note hanging in the stale, hotel room air.

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

I glanced at my computer, my desktop picture reminding me of happier times. It was a black and white photo taken by our buddy, Jackson. The photograph was hauntingly beautiful, me and her smiling, staring obliviously into each other's eyes. That was the day the cast had found out we had been nominated for eleven Teen Choice Awards.

Ashley and Taylor rejoiced in the background of the photo, but me and my girl had no sense of anything but each other. That was the happiest day of my life.

Now, it all meant nothing.

I grabbed the gun and spoke the final words that my British mouth would ever utter.

"I'm sorry, Kristen. I love you."

I put my finger on the trigger.

Kristen POV

How could I have been so blind? The man I loved had laid everything out on the table. He asked me to be his wife, and all I could say was 'Rob, we're too young.'

Tears stained my cheeks. I checked the time on my cell phone again for the twentieth time in fifteen seconds.

I worriedly checked my messages again, Rob's last text message to me causing bile to rise in my throat.

'i luv u. This will B the last tyme u will ever see me'

I bit my trembling lower lip. I dailed his number again, hoping that this time he would answer.

Ring Ring

I remembered the anguish on his face when I declined his proposal. It made my already aching heart shatter into a million pieces.

Ring Ring

I remembered the sight of the back of his head, walking sullen out of the room, leaving me on the floor, confused and alone. His Edward bronzed hair had shone bright in the light of the lamp as he had sulked out of the room. I laughed bitterly. He always did hate those fucking highlights.

Ring Ring

"Can't you go any fucking faster?!" I shouted impatiently at the driver. This earned me nothing but a death stare and a scoff. However, he did slightly press harder on the gas. I huffed and fell back into the seat.

Ring Ring

"Come on Rob..." I prayed quietly aloud. "Come on, love. My darling... Don't do it."

"Hullo. This is Robert. Leave your name and---"

I threw the phone across the limo before his sweet, sweet voice could cause my soul to break anymore.

I buried my face in my hands, weeping loudly. Nothing came out except tearless, choked sobs. All my tears had already been cried.

How could I have denied something that was so beautiful and obviously perfect for us? There was no one else in the world for me. He was my own personal Hercules.

I glanced out of the window, my red, puffy eyes making it difficult for me to see anything.

We were getting close. Only three more blocks to go.

I would make things right. I would make us right.

I put my hand on the door, bracing myself for a quick escape whenever we arrived at his apartment. I needed to move quickly. There was no telling if he had already committed the unspeakable act he was no doubt contemplating.

Two more blocks.

My heart pounded. Everything was moving so slowly. My feet were itching to hit the pavement, running to the one who had bettered my life... the one who had turned my world upside down.

One more block.

My fingers twitched, readying to push open the door and save my man.

The driver brought the car to a halt.

We were here.

I was here.

I didn't know what to do. I was frozen.

Suddenly, a song popped into my head. Our song.

Nothing matters more

I'll do anything for her

She will always be

The greatest part of me

Most beautiful girl you'll ever see

She's the best part of me

The final line of the Bella Cullen Project song, "Safety First", rang like a bell in my head.

Without another thought, and without further hesitation, I pushed open the car door with all my might and began running towards my future.

I ran right past the front desk, not bothering to pause and explain who I was. They already knew. I arrived at the elevator doors, pressing the 'Up' button repeatedly. My pulse pounded, causing my head to feel heavy and clouded. What if I was too late?

What if there was no chance at reconciliation?

What if I had fucked up any chance that I had ever had?

Tears began to fill my eyes. I bit my lower lip and whimpered, wringing my hands in my Joy Division tshirt. The tshirt he had given me the last time we had made love.

Bing

The elevator doors finally opened, inviting me to face my fate. I stepped in quickly. Blinking furiously, I pressed 9 over and over again.

It's too late

I was taken by surprise at the words that had popped into my mind.

No! It's not too late! I can still save him! I internally tried to convince myself.

You've failed...

The overwhelming words pierced into my heart. I began to break.

Bing

The doors opened, revealing the long hallway to Rob's room. Without second thought, I began dashing towards my love. I had no idea what I was going to find, no idea what I was going to say. None of that mattered now. I just had to save him from himself.

I was surprised to find his door ajar when I arrived. Why had he not bothered to lock it? He was Robert Pattinson. Millions of girls would gladly jump at the opportunity to break into his room. Why now was he making that opportunity so easy?

I took a deep breath, readying myself for whatever awaited me on the other side of that heavy, oak door. I closed my eyes and took the leap.

I walked into the room, my nostrils filled with the scent of cigarettes and beer. It smelled like... Rob. I smiled sadly.

I didn't see anything out of the ordinary at first. In the background, "Untitled" by Simple Plan played quietly. The melody made my heart ache.

I walked down the long, dark hallway cautiously. In front of me, I could see the living room. My heart pounded. I knew I should be walking faster. At this point in time, seconds were precious. Instead, my feet felt like they were made of lead, each step agonizing and difficult. Dread washed over me, causing my breaths to hitch in my chest.

I finally entered the living room, looking around frantically for my Rob.

That's when I saw him.

I froze in horror.

He stood with his back to me, facing the corner where the left wall met the back wall. In his hand, he held a gun.

A gun that he was pointing directly at his head.

A quiet, choked sob was all that was able to escape my dry throat.

The gun fired.

a/n: that does it for part 1. part 2 will be up shortly. (this will only be a two part story, btw.) reviews are appreciated, guys!!! :D:D:D