A/N: Hi guys, here it is. The first story on my account!

Before you start reading the fanfic, please remember that it wasn't just me who wrote this. Me and my best friend Bells96 wrote this as a joint story but its posted on my account.

Our inspiration was Rock'n'Slash. Her 'Phone Calls' story is great, better then ours. It had us in fits whilst we read it out together, so we figured we should give it a go ourselves!

Enjoy! X

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Jake calls 'Nessie'.

Jake: Hey smexi!

*Long pause…*

Jake: You there Honey Bun?

'Nessie': I am very, very disturbed!

Jake: WTF! Edward?

Edward: Damn right! And hey, what do you mean 'smexi', that's not even a freakin' word!

Jake: Don't you think its lovely weather we're having today?

Edward: Jacob, its hail! Don't worry, I wont kill you.

Jake: *Hopeful voice.* Really?

Edward: No, no. I'll just call Bella!

Bella: Did you call me love?

Jake: Nooooo! Just kill me now! Do you know what? I'll even save you the trouble. Embry, get the chainsaw! *Cluttering in background*

Jake: Hey, I cant hear Bella having a sissy fit!

Edward: Nah, she's in her Ferrari… On her way to your house!

Jake: Shit!

Edward: No shit Sherlock…

Bella: You!

Jake: Ahhhh! *Hangs up*

Edward: My work here is done.

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A/N: So there you have it. Short, and hopefully sweet? Review and tell us what you think!