Something new me and my friend Ash came up with. Tell us what you think.

I glare at my alarm clock as it starts with its shrilling ring. I've already been up for three hours but of course my alarm clock doesn't know that. It bad enough that I have to go to school with no sleep but all morning I've been having flashbacks. I haven't had one of them in months not since we moved up here during the summer but I guess it makes sense since it been one year to the day since that night at the party. One year since someone slipped something in my drink, one year since I woke up laying in an unknown bed with no clothing on and no one in the room. One year since I changed from a ditsy party girl cheerleader, to a loner girl with walls miles high blocking me from everyone.

That night one year ago I was taken up to a bed room, and raped by my boyfriend at the time, Ricky. But no one knew about that night except for my sister when I came home. She had covered for me like always when I didn't come home that night and my dad was already at work which I was glad about because I didn't want him to see me like this: eyes glazed over, my dress ripped and bloody bruises on my arms and legs. I wished my sister hadn't seen me like that either but she had. When I got home I broke down there on the spot telling her everything that happen, well the things I could remember. The flashbacks started about a week later when Ricky ran his hand up my thigh sending shivers down my back and me almost throwing up because of what I had just seen.

But like I had said the flashbacks had stopped 3 months ago and I guess because of it being a year my mind felt like I need a perfect reminder of that night sending me into sobs. I'm still shaking but its time to get ready and I will not miss school because of stupid flashbacks. I throw on a pair of baggy jeans and a plain black shirt. I'm putting everything in my school bag when there's a knock on the my door.

"Come in" I yell.

"Hey Kat, are you okay? I mean..." My little sister trails off as she walks into my room.

"Yes I'm fine Bee. Never been better." I fake smile at her trying to hide how I really am.

"Kat cut it out. Your a bad lair."

"I am not."

"Yes you are. Know how are you really?"

"I'm okay I guess just wish today was over with already. I had a flashback earlier."

"They starting again." I nod weakly. "Okay, well if you need me at all today just text. The same system as last year."

For a few months I had been a wreck and the flashbacks only made it worse so if I would get one in school me and Bianca had this system. If I had one during class and I was about to breakdown. I would go to the bathroom and text 1 to her telling her that she needed to come and get me to calm down, but if I had one and it wasn't that bad I would text a 2 to her telling her that I was alright but I would need her later on. Its what had helped me to get over the flashbacks.

"Of course. Thanks Bee." I smile and gave her a hug. The truth was that I haven't been okay since that night but I couldn't tell her that and I couldn't real show that to anyone else either.

"Time for school girls." My father yells from down stairs.

"Lets go. We don't want to be late."

"Kat you know you don't have to go today just act sick or something."
"I'm not missing school just because I don't feel like going."

"But you're again to be in a bad mood all day why make everyone else suffer though it. Its just going to make it harder for me to make it to cheerleader."

"Oh god Bianca." I roll my eyes and make my way down the stairs.

When we get to school Bianca gives me a quick hug before rushing off with the other cheerleaders. To think last year I was one of them. God I hope I wasn't that shallow but I guess that's were Bianca gets it from me. I'm just such a great role model for her I know. I make my way though the sea of people to my locker only to find Patrick and his slut of the week leaning on it. I freeze as I go into another flashback.

Ricky's hand travels down my shoulder to the edge of my shirt pulling it over my head as I lay their starring up at him trying to push him off of me but hes to strong and I cant do it. He kiss down my neck to my bar his hand grabbing at the clip in the back.

I get shaken out of it when someone shoves pasts me. I close my eyes blinking away the tears and take a deep breath trying to steady myself. I push myself to walk over to my locker only to notice Patrick and the girl are still there. Great!

"Can you move please?" I ask politely. I hate sounding so unlike Kat the bad ass but I don't want to fight with Patrick not today. All I want to do is get this day over without braking down which is unlikely.

"Oh yeah like so sorry." They girl says twirling her bleach blond hair around her finger. Wow. She walks down the hallway but Patrick stays in front of me blocking my locker.

"Whats wrong with you Stratford?"

"Verona not today."

"What you going to pull your taser on me."

"Patrick please just not today"

"Is this about that kiss?" If he doesn't shut up about that I'm going to snap. That was only a week ago and I'm still kinda pissed that he thought I was that easy. "Because you know I did-"

"Oh god do you really want me to threaten you my taser. I said NOT TODAY do you not understand the English language." I bring my hands up to rub my temples. The thing that really sucks is that he reminds me so much like Ricky that its really sick which is why on the first day of school I was kind of a bitch to him and that kiss did not make things better. "Know move your fucking ass out of my way."

He stairs at me still not moving out of my way. "Fine you know what I don't need to go into my locker fucking jackass." I stalk into my first period and sit in the right back corner. I have a good 10 minutes till class starts and the teacher isn't even here. I grab my phone and text Bianca

-Did you see the hallway thing-

-you mean your blow up. Yeah-

-thanks for that Bee-

-what everyone is talking about it. I knew you shouldn't have come today-

-yeah well Patrick was being a dick and you know who he looks like-

-sorry where are you-

-first period room 104-

-be right there-

I lay my head on the desk and try to take in the silence. But of course that doesn't happen because life hates me.

"Kat-"

"What do you want Verona."

"I wanted to talk. Whats wrong?"

"You are whats wrong now get out?"

"Kat come on something else is going on." He reaches up his hand cupping my face. I finch as my mind is taking back again into that night.

Ricky's hand is cupping my face kissing me deeply as his other hands are working on pulling down my underwear. When he slips them off his hand leaves my face and he is sitting on top of me trying to unbuckle his belt and sliding his jeans off.

I'm brought back to reality as I start to hyperventilate. I'm sitting on the ground my knees up to my chest my sister kneeling next to me trying to get me to calm down.

"Kat its okay he's not here. It was just a flash. You're save we are thousand and thousand miles away from him." I nod my head calming down. That flashback was new something I never remember and I'm glad I hadn't remembered it. "I haven't seen you like this since the first week. What did you see?"

"Ricky...that night...him..." I mange to get out in between the sobs.

"Come on lets get out side. Patrick can you help me get her up." A pair of arms, I'm guessing Patrick's grab hold of my waist lifting me up. I pull away from him backing away into a corner.

"Kat?" Bianca asks walking in front of me.

"He looks so much like him." I say in a whisper so only she hears me.

"Shit I shouldn't have asked him to do that. Are you okay?"

"Did I hurt her?" asks Patrick as he steps a few steps back.

"No you didn't hurt her you just-" I cut her off before she can say anymore.

"Bianca"

"Riiiight." She sighs "Never mind. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I just need calm down."
"You need to go home."

"Bee I'm not going home. It will only make it worse."

"Whats going to happen if you get one in class?"

"I can make it though the day like last year. Besides dads home its his day off."

"Why didn't you fake sick today."
"Because I'm stubborn."

"Fine but you text me every time you have one no exceptions and if it gets really bad just leave the class we'll find something to cover after." I nod.

"God Kat you are so messed up."

"Thanks." I smile a sad smile. "I really wish you didn't have to take care of me."

"Yeah sometimes I wish we could erase that night and I'd get my head cheerleader sister back." I roll my eyes at her.

"Get to class." I say and she rushes out of the room after reminding me to text her.

"What was that?" Patrick asks after I sat back in my seat.

"That was me having a panic attack because you touched me."

"But why did it happen?"

"Because it did. Can we drop it I'll be sure to tell you why latter."

"Fine."

The day goes by pretty normal except for a few flashbacks but they weren't new so I was able to get though with out a brake down. Patrick had left me alone after that except when he came up to me at the end of the day asking if I was okay.

Later that night after I went to bed I had a nightmare/flashback. The whole night flashing before my eyes. I run to my bathroom throwing up. It felt like I was reliving it, the whole night and into the morning when I woke up in pain. I was laying on my bed starring up at the ceiling as tears fun down my face when there was a knock on my window. I slowly get up wiping the tears of my face before heading over to the window. There on the roof is Patrick.