A/N: O.K, this is the long-in-progress sequel to Pauliestiltskin! I've been writing this for I don't even know how long. But it's done, finally, and I hope you like it.

For Megan, as always, who is the best friend ever. She reads my stuff, she puts up with strange obsessions on my part, and she writes awesome things about me on her profile page. Plus she's a brilliant writer herself. I'm going to miss her next year. Thank goodness for the internet.

Breathe, Jesse.

Dear Susannah…

No, no, no.

Querida, there is something I have been meaning to…

Definitely not.

To my one true love…

Whatcha doing?

Susannah! A little more warning next time, please!

Oops, sorry. You're touchy today. Hiding something you don't want me to see? Planning to run away with some pervy old creep you talk to on the internet?

To the best of my knowledge, Susannah, Paul doesn't have IM.

Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, why are you hiding that window at the bottom?

SAT prep, very boring. Don't you have to finish "Pauliestiltskin"? Sister Catherine will be the homicidal fairy godmother unless you hand it in tomorrow.

Oh, Pesse, keep up. It's already finished and printed off. They all lived happily ever after, bla bla bla. And now it's your turn to write one, remember?

No. Susannah, please go away. I'm trying to concentrate.

Fine. But that's the last time I pull your fingers out of the fridge door when you get stuck.

Me, writing a fairytale? That's not a bad idea, actually.

Sleeping Cutie
by Jesse De Silva

Now we're getting somewhere.

Once upon a time, in the fair kingdom of Carmel, a baby princess was born to King Peter and his queen, Helen.

Ha! I knew you were up to something! Wait… aren't those my parents?

No. Peter and Helen happen to be very popular names.

Try and be the tiniest bit original, Jesse. I mean, at least I made me Pusannah.

Do you want to be Pusannah again?

…

Well then, I suggest you keep your mouth shut.

The news of baby Susannah's birth spread throughout the land, and the whole kingdom arrived at the castle to celebrate her christening. Local gossip had it that three fairies were to be present, and each would bestow a gift upon the newborn princess. But as the festivities started on the day of the christening, the fairies were late in their arrival.

"Dude," said Jake, pulling at his tutu. "We're like, late."

Susannah, I am not making your stepbrothers the three fairies.

Aw, please? You just know that it is Brad's aspiration to be Fauna, or whoever. The green one who makes cake.

I am very much regretting buying you the Disney animation now.

Whatever. Keep writing!

It was David, short and plump in his blue dress, who led the way. He waved his wand and the large oak doors swung open, much to the amazement of the villagers.

Ha! Yes!

Jake bestowed upon the baby princess, with a meticulous swish of his wand (and the careful straightening of his surf board) the gift of pizza delivery. Brad, hitching up his skirt and clearing his throat girlishly, bestowed upon the baby the gift of Coolboarder 2. But as David stepped up to the plate (he had already announced to the hall that he was to bestow the gift of scientific aptitude), the hall grew dark and amidst a large black swirl at the centre of the castle stood a tall, thin figure, draped in black cloak and resting nonchalantly on a raven-topped staff.

No. You wouldn't.

"Nay!" cried King Peter, and the villagers gasped as the thick smog cleared. "It is the evil Queen Paulificent!"

Nombre de Dios.

I believe that, Susannah, is my line.

"Yes," the evil queen declared, and he flung a cloaked arm out dramatically. "It is I. Why was I not invited to this joyous celebration?"

Paul doesn't talk like that.

This isn't Paul. This is the evil Queen Paulificent.

Right. Two completely different people.

"Your majesty-" Queen Helen tried to apologise, but Paulificent interrupted her, tapping his staff against the hall and silencing the hall with a thunderous crack.

"Silence!" he ordered, and he stretched a long, spindly finger in the direction of the baby princess. "You will be sorry, King Peter, for your wrong doing. This will be your downfall!" King Peter cried out in pleading, but Paulificent did not pay him attention. "I will curse this child! On her sixteenth birthday, I will sexually harass her in my bedroom and then tell her dead boyfriend all about it…"

Jesse. I thought we were past that.

Right. Delete, delete, delete.

"I will curse this child! On her sixteenth birthday, I will exorcise her soul and she will fall into a deep sleep, with her soul left to wander the planes of the undead forever!"

Not really much better.

And with one last murderous laugh, the evil Queen Paulificent disappeared as a white bolt of lightening left the castle in complete darkness. Queen Helen ran towards her child and picked her up in her arms, cradling her softly.

"No," she cried, stroking her cheek with her finger. "My baby… Peter, do something!"

"I'd like to help," said a small voice, and all eyes turned to look at David as he returned light to the hall with a flick of his wand. "I haven't given my gift yet."

"David," Brad snarled, unkindly. "I don't think now is the time for scientific brainitude." David straightened indignantly.

"I'm not talking about scientific aptitude," he said, hotly. "I'd like to bestow a different gift, if that is O.K. with the King and Queen." Queen Helen peered at David over her child meekly.

"Can you really help?" she asked, softly. David nodded a little tentatively.

"I think so," he said, and then he stood before the baby with a determined look on his face. "On her sixteenth birthday, the baby princess will be exorcised, and fall into a deep sleep." The crowd gasped.

Nice job there, Doc. Way to fix things.

I'm not done yet, Susannah. Have a little faith.

"But," David continued, through the murmurings of the villagers, "she will not be left to wander the shadowland forever. She will wake, upon the occasion of true love's first kiss."

Ooh, smooth. Nice take on things, Jesse.

Thank you, Susannah.

It was not perfect, but the King and Queen grasped at the only chance they had to keep their daughter. She was betrothed to the son of the king who ruled a neighbouring kingdom in the hopes that the two would fall in love, and he would be able to wake her upon her slumber. But the fairies – Jake, Brad and David – had other plans.

One night, when Susannah had grown older, they crept into her bedchamber with the intent to escort her from the castle and raise her as their own, in order to hide her from the evil Queen and break the curse. But when it came to raising the princess from her sleep, all three fairies began to get cold feet.

"You do it," Brad urged his younger brother, and pushed David towards the sleeping Susannah.

"Jake can do it," David protested, and he reached to tug the skirt of his eldest sibling. "He's older."

"You're smarter," argued Jake, and he pulled a face at the girl. "You do it."

David exhaled nervously. "You do it, Jake," he repeated. "Just pretend she's… pizza or something, express delivery." Jake shuddered.

"She is no pepperoni pie, dude," he said. "All voting for David raise your hands now." Brad joined his brother in electing David. "Sorry dude, she's all yours."

David looked horrified. "But she's got…" he whimpered, before lowering his voice. "Boobs." His two older brothers sniggered.

Very mature, Jesse. I'm glad you find my upper body so amusing.

That is precisely what I find it, Susannah.

The three fairies eventually managed to wake the princess, and under the cover of nightfall snuck Susannah out of the castle and into the forest, where she remained for several years under a new name, to disguise her from any spies of Paulificent. The fairies swore off magic, and the princess was to be christened Pusannah.

Oh for goodness' sake.

Pusannah had grown to be a beautiful girl, and lived contently with her 'uncles' in a cottage in the heart of the forest. She was happy, despite missing her parents, except for one thing. She wished for love; the love she read about in books and the love depicted in so many paintings she had seen hanging in the castle. But now at fifteen, she had never felt it, and for that she felt sorrowful.

Way to rub it in.

Ah, but querida, now you have me.

Sure.

On her sixteenth birthday, however, all hopes at being disguised were lost as the three fairies got into a disagreement about how to celebrate.

"Kegger!" cried Brad, and after a swish of his wand a large amount of beer appeared at his feet.

"No!" cried David, reaching for his brother's wand. "We swore off magic to hide the princess! Don't you remember?"

Both Brad and Jake ignored him. "If you're having beer," Jake said, wistfully. "I'm getting my Camarro." And as if by magic, his car appeared outside the cottage; its shiny exterior twinkling in the midday sun.

"No!" David cried, lunging for Jake this time. "Paulificent's minions will find us! They will see the magic and know that it's us!"

And he was right. Paulificent's raven, a sleek bird named Kelly, was perched on a nearby branch as the two oldest fairies began to quarrel. She watched in amazement as at first a cooler of beer appeared with a faint pop, and then a whole automobile. And then her beak slid into a sly smile, and she took off into the skies with a triumphant squawk back to her master.

Do ravens squawk?

They do now.

Meanwhile, the now sixteen-year-old princess had been permitted a walk, and she strolled through the forest whilst scattering feed to the birds that flocked to her beauty like bees were drawn to honey.

Aw, shucks.

As she fed the wildlife, she sang to them, and it was her beautiful voice that drew another wanderer to her – a prince from a faraway kingdom, come to meet his betrothed for the first time.

He was Prince Jesse, the most handsome and charming man in all the land, and as he strode through the forest leading his horse, even the flowers swooned.

Aw, jeez.

I made you beautiful – why can't I be handsome and charming?

Maybe you should try "He was outstandingly modest."

As he came across the beautiful girl in the woods, he tried to avoid her eye – after all, an engaged man should never look at another woman. But what Prince Jesse didn't know was that his betrothed had left home many years ago, snuck out of the castle by her fairy godfathers and never to be seen again – not even by her parents – and was now the very girl standing before him!

O, M, and indeed G.

But Jesse could not resist the stranger for long. He bowed very slowly and very low, before greeting her in an incredibly deep and attractive voice: "Good morning, ma'am."

She smiled prettily back to him. "Good morning, sir," she replied, and dipped into a brief curtsy. He could not fail to note her golden-brown curls or emerald-green eyes, and as she noticed him survey her face appreciatively, he blushed.

Aww. Stop it. You flatter me.

They fell instantly in love and in a panic Jesse realised he must return to his journey to King Peter's castle, where he would break off his engagement to his betrothed.

Ha, ha. Sense of déjà vu, there, Susannah?

Simultaneously, Pusannah recognized she must return home to Jake, Brad and David or else they would be worried. So they exchanged a goodbye filled with silent wanting and went their separate ways, each missing the other almost instantaneously.

Pusannah returned home to her fairy godfathers – dodging the new commodities that had sprung up in the garden out of nowhere – where she reluctantly told them about the prince she had met in the woods. They exchanged worried glances before they finally sat her down and told her truth: that she was a princess, and that the prince was the man she had been promised to as a baby.

She fled from the cottage with tears in her eyes as she realised that she had been lied to all her life. She was a princess? She couldn't possibly be!

What are you trying to say?

Meanwhile, the evil queen Paulificent was being led through the forest by his raven, Kelly, who sat upon his shoulder. She had brought him news of the princess's whereabouts, and now, finally, his revenge would be inflicted.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo –

Susannah, if you can't behave, you won't get to see the rest of the story.

O.K, sorry.

But he found the princess a little sooner than expected – the two collided as he rounded a corner into a clearing and came face to face with the crying girl. She had her hands over her face at first, but as she lowered them he recognised her instantly. She was the princess Susannah!

Once he stopped her tears and calmed her down, Paulificent told the princess of a way he could stop all the hurt she was feeling, and he whispered it in her ear. She blinked her tears away and stared at him, wide-eyed.

Oh, please. Who would be stupid enough to fall for something Paul said?

I believe only you know the answer to that question, Susannah.

Pfft.

Obediently, she lay on the ground and closed her eyes, waiting for all the hurt to disappear. Maybe she would start anew, change her name and live a different life! It would be too hard to return to the castle and to parents she never knew, but she never wanted to see her fairy godfathers again.

As she was thinking this, the evil Queen Paulificent began to chant, waving his hands majestically in the air. A roaring started sounding in Susannah's ears and she opened her eyes in surprise to find a red, cloud-filled hole opening up above her. She started to scream, but it was too late.

Once her soul had left her body Paul left, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips. His work was done. Susannah's ghost stood before him now, separated from her body. She was scared and alone, and he knew that that would hurt her parents far more than anything else could. With an evil swish of his cloak, he left, leaving the ghostly princess sobbing on the ground.

Meanwhile, at the palace, Prince Jesse was busy trying to explain to King Peter why he couldn't marry Princess Susannah. He had fallen in love with another, he said, and he felt it was unfair to both of them to continue with the marriage.

But before he could say any more, the large oak doors banged open and the three fairies appeared, red-faced and arguing amongst themselves. It was only as Prince Jesse drew his sword – protecting the King, naturally, from the strangers – that they settled, and looked to King Peter for help.

"Lower your guard, Prince Jesse," King Peter said, though a muscle leapt in his jaw. "At least until they can give me a proper reason why they disappeared over a decade ago with my daughter never to be seen again!"

"Your Majesty," squeaked David, bowing low. "You know we only did what we did in order to protect the princess!"

"And?" King Peter demanded. "Has it worked? Today is Susannah's sixteenth birthday, after all."

"Well…" Doc began, but Jake interrupted him.

"Your Majesty, Princess Susannah ran off by herself, and now we can't find her." The King got to his feet angrily, and drew his own sword.

"You will pay if my daughter is harmed!" he cried, and he brandished his weapon protectively… before Jesse chivalrously stood before him and the fairies, addressing the smallest.

"Is there any way to find the princess?" he asked. "Using magic, I mean?"

David thought for a second. "Yes," he replied, eventually. "I think I know of a spell…" A spellbook appeared, along with a puff of smoke, in his hand, and he flicked through it, tongue poking out in concentration. "Here. A location spell." A few magic words and a gentle swish of his wand, and a faint silhouette of a map appeared before them.

"Where is she?" asked King Peter, eagerly. All five of them watched as a golden spark found its place on the map, finally locating the fallen princess. David waved his wand once more, and it zoomed in to find Susannah's body lying limply on the ground.

"That's her!" cried Jesse. "That is the girl I have fallen in love with! She is Princess Susannah?"

Give that boy a prize.

"I must save her!" Jesse turned to face the King indignantly. "Let me complete this quest for you, Your Majesty, to prove my worth in order to earn your daughter's hand."

"If you rescue my daughter," the king replied, "you may have anything you desire."

So Prince Jesse, accompanied by the fairies, began at once his mission to retrieve the princess. "What has happened to her?" he asked them.

"She has been exorcised by the evil Queen Paulificent," they informed him. "As he promised he would the day she was born. She can only be woken by a kiss."

"Well," Prince Jesse said, shaking his handsome –

Of course.

– mane of hair out of his face, "I will revive her. And then I will make Paulificent pay."

But the evil Queen Paulificent had plans of his own. In his absence he had created a thick mass of wilderness to circle Susannah's lifeless body, obstructing Jesse's path. He had worked too hard these long years to let a young, devastatingly good-looking prince destroy it all now.

As Prince Jesse and the fairies reached the outskirts of the thorns, he turned to them for help. With a flick of their magic wands, he had a strong sword and a protective shield to help him find his way through the foliage that scagged his skin, and even tore a hole in his chain mail. He ripped through the wilderness as fast as he could, though it quickly took its toll, and thick beads of sweat began to appear on Jesse's forehead. It was tiring work, and it appeared to be getting him nowhere.

"There's got to be something we can do," worried David, and Jake and Brad, exchanging glances, finally flicked their wands. The wilderness disappeared, and Jesse, mid-swipe with his sword, fell to the ground in an exhausted heap.

Queen Paulificent, who was watching from a distance, roared in anguish. "No!" he growled. He turned to consult his raven, before an idea hit him. "Let's see how he deals with this," he said, an evil smile settling on his lips.

The fairies rushed to his side, urgently reviving him before Paul put another obstacle – or worse – in their path. Jesse got to his feet, shakily, and gripped his sword tighter. "Let's go."

But before he could start towards the princess, a ghostly figure appeared before him. She was shorter than him, with stick-straight blonde hair and an add-a-pearl necklace around her neck. But her eyes looked deadly, a fact proven when she lifted him into the air without even touching him.

Heather!

"What do I do?" Jesse cried down to the three fairy godfathers, but they could only shrug.

"Sorry, Jesse," Brad called back to him. "But we don't deal with the afterlife. We can't help you here."

Setting his mouth into a thin line, Jesse forced his way back to the ground and lunged for the ghost, finding with some surprise that he could actually grab hold of her, as if she was made of solid matter. He had little time to ponder this, however, as the urgency of the situation hit him once again. He needed to get rid of her.

'How?' he thought, but no sooner had the words formed in his mind than he had materialised somewhere else, holding the ghost girl. It looked like a long corridor, full of closed doors; only the floor was made from swirling smoke. The ghost girl, momentarily discombobulated, glanced around her, before getting to her feet and reaching for a doorknob.

"Careful!" Jesse cried, but it was too late. As the door creaked open, she was sucked into it as if it held a large gravitational force, and she was gone. A few seconds passed as Jesse got his breath back, stunned, before he returned back to earth.

This Jesse is a mediator too!

Come on now, Susannah. Keep up.

"What was that?" asked Jake, as Jesse felt the earth of the forest beneath his feet again. "You just collapsed!"

"Where's the ghost?" demanded Brad. David only smiled.

"You're a shifter!" he cried, and he practically skipped around his three companions. "You can take these spirits to Shadowland!"

"What?" Jesse, Jake and Brad asked him simultaneously, but David only shook his head.

"The details don't matter right now," he said, pointing behind Jesse. "All that matters is that you have to do it again. Look." And, as Jesse turned, he saw that another figure had appeared, this one male and dressed in a stiff suit. The figure smiled devilishly, and Jesse thought he saw a glimpse of fangs.

No, way. Mr. Beaumont? I knew you hated Tad!

"Go, Jesse, go!" cried the fairies, and Jesse lunged again, seizing this ghost around the ankles before taking him to that corridor, transporting himself and the ghost only with his mind. It was amazing, this power he suddenly owned. But maybe he'd had it all along.

The ghosts kept coming – there were even four at a time at one point, four teenaged children who had proved a challenge. The fifth time he returned to earth, he sank to the floor, his head pounding. He couldn't take any more.

"Jesse, you have to get up," urged David. "There's still more spirits."

"I can't do it!" Jesse cried, massaging his temples. "My head, I can barely see through the pain…" He looked up and saw, despite seeing stars, that there was still one more ghost left. But she was different from the others: she didn't look harmful at all. In fact, in spite of her glowing form she looked familiar. The way her hair curled just slightly, and even in the obvious misery this ghost was feeling, her eyes still sparkled.

"Susannah!" Jesse shouted, and this brought him to his feet. The pure relief and love he felt coursed through his veins, and pushed him through the searing agony he felt in his forehead. "Oh, Susannah, I can't believe it's you! Are you… are you dead?"

She shook her head, gripping his hands with her cold, scared fingers. "No," she said, but she was unable to finish her sentence before breaking off into tears.

"You know what to do, Jesse!" yelled David, and Jesse grinned suddenly in anticipation of what was to come.

"Score, dude," added Jake, and he waved his hand like a foam finger.

"If you don't mind, Princess Susannah," Jesse said, before taking the ghostly form of his beloved in his arms and bestowing a sweet onto her frozen lips.

Everybody now: Awww.

The ghost dematerialised in his very arms, and for a second Jesse's heart plummeted, thinking the worst. Was this another trick of the evil Queen Paulificent's? He sank to his knees, holding his breath, ready to put his head in his hands. He had finally met the girl who made everything in life make sense: he had finally fallen in love. And now she was gone.

"Jesse," said Brad, gently. "Look."

Wow. Brad's actually… sensitive.

The sleeping princess finally started to stir, running a weak hand through her tangled hair. And when she eventually lifted her lids, the words she said sent Jesse's heart singing:

"It's you!"

Jesse smiled, warm relief spreading through his body. "It's me." He took her hands in his. "I love you, Susannah." And they finally met in a real kiss.

"No no no no no!"

Oh. The evil Queen. I'd almost forgotten about him. Him? Her?

"As if it was that easy," Paulificent spat, and the raven on his shoulder squawked in agreement. "Prince Jesse, you will pay for this. You have no business meddling in this!"

"I love the princess," Prince Jesse replied, his voice level. "And you will pay for harming her." With one last look at the fairies, he knew what to do. Before Paulificent truly knew what was going on, Jesse plunged the sword into the evil Queen's heart and seized his writhing body, slipping easily into the Shadow world.

"Let's see how you like it," Jesse said, with some satisfaction. "If you ever return to your body, you will die from the wound I inflicted upon you with that sword. You have no choice but to roam the spirit plane forever." He looked at the villainous queen, now squirming on the floor. "Goodbye, Paul." It was the giving of the evil Queen's birth name that did him in completely, and the last thing Jesse saw before returning to the world below was the evil Queen falling to his knees, finally defeated.

When Jesse returned to his body on earth for the sixth and final time, he found himself in the arms of Princess Susannah, who was watching over him worriedly. As he opened his eyes, Susannah threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"I was so worried you'd never wake up!" she cried, and she kissed him hurriedly. Jesse smiled and sat up, ignoring the searing pain in his head. He would deal with that now, as now he had his one true love to distract him.

"I'm here now," Jesse said, and he kissed the base of her neck. "And I have something to tell you." Confusion knitted Susannah's eyebrows together, and she cocked her head to the side.

"Something to tell me?" she repeated, and Jesse nodded.

"I'm Prince Jesse," he said, finally introducing himself. "And I'm the prince you were betrothed to at birth." Susannah gasped.

"Betrothed?" she repeated, blinking in surprise. "At birth?"

Jesse nodded, before falling to his knees. "But I'd like to give you some say in the matter." He grinned. "Princess Susannah, will you do the honour of giving me your hand in marriage?"

I love a happy ending.

The story's not over yet, Susannah.

But it's going to be a happy ending, right?

You tell me.

Susannah, I have loved you since the day you stepped into that bedroom on Pine Crest Road. I loved you when you called me those names, and when you rescued me from Shadowland, and when you slow danced with me at your prom. I love you, querida, and I want nothing more than for you to be mine forever. Will you marry me?

I…

I wrote a fairytale for you, Susannah.

I…

Paul wouldn't write you a fairytale.

Jesse…

There's a reason Paul was the villain –

JESSE! Of course I'll marry you, you big Spanish goof. I was just speechless, that's all. You should have embraced the moment.

You said yes?

Yes. I said yes. I love you, too.

Well that's a relief. I suppose there's only one thing left to say then, querida.

What's that?

And they all lived happily ever after.