Foreign Exchange Program

Summary: To strengthen its ties with the West, Konoha has a special program in which one ninja from each side is selected to spend one month over in another country. Kakashi is chosen to represent Konoha, but who is this strange ninja with a mask and a lab coat?

Hello. Yes, this is a Naruto crossover. So sue me. The first chapter has also been edited. So read it. I strongly suggest you go check out who Dr. McNinja is before reading this at: www. drmcninja. com The comic itself is random enough, what with Ronald McDonald, gorillas, unicorn motorcycles, just to name a few. Seriously. CHECK IT OUT. So, let's get started, shall we?

Disclaimer: If I owned NARUTO, it'd be named KAKASHI and would star KAKASHI. 'cuz really, who wants to read about an ORANGE ninja? Come on, people! ORANGE! It's like reading about KUMQUATS! Oh, and Dr. McNinja is owned by Chris Hastings, a comic GENIUS.

Chapter One: It's Called Chapter ONE

Konohagakure, Land of Fire; Hokage Tower

Things were quiet in the Hokage Tower, a blessing in itself. Chunin and other workers of the building were busying themselves with their respective tasks, revelling in the absence of a certain loud, obnoxious, orange-jump suited genin; well, at least for now. But high up on the topmost floor of the structure, a low, rumbling growl-like sound reverberated throughout the halls. If anyone didn't know better, they would have thought a ferocious monster lay behind the two wooden double doors leading into the Hokage's office. But to a frequent visitor of the place, they knew it was something much, much worse.

Lady Tsunade was unceremoniously sprawled on top of her desk, which was heavily laden with paperwork, and drool. A half empty sake bottle was loosely clutched in her hands, her loud snoring an indication of what had transpired. A small giggle escaped her lips as she dreamed of hundreds of malfunctioning slot machines, all gushing out golden coins.

Unfortunately, her fantasy was suddenly interrupted by the loud slamming of the doors as her assistant burst through. The Hokage instantly jolted awake, the hand gripping the bottle losing control and applying enough force to shatter it, spilling its contents on the table. Her dismay over the waste of perfectly drinkable sake would have to wait, however, for Shizune was franticly waving a letter in front of her face.

"Tsunade-sama! There is an urgent matter for you to address! We received this in the mail today and you have to-" Shizune then noticed the shattered bottle on her superior's desk and immediately made a face. "Tsunade-sama," she said with a hint of warning, "Have you been shirking your paperwork and drinking again?" But as Tsunade struggled to find an excuse, Shizune remembered the letter reverted back to the issue.

"Never mind that, there is something much more important you need to see." She walked over and handed a bewildered Tsunade a single letter. The Hokage took it and opened it. Her eyes widened as she read and re-read the contents of the letter. After confirming its authenticity, she made her decision. At an unseen signal, a bird-masked ANBU appeared before her and kneeled, awaiting instructions.

"Get me Hatake Kakashi," she demanded urgently. "Now!"

Moments later, the famed Copy-Cat ninja stood before her, his usual tardiness discarded. Even he knew the seriousness of the situation when an ANBU operative suddenly appears before him during his training session with his team. He left instructions with his students to carry out drills for the remainder of the time, then rushed as fast as he could to the Hokage Tower. Now the question was: What's the issue?

"Sorry for the abruptness, Kakashi, but this is important." Lady Tsunade addressed him while fidgeting with the letter.

"Not a problem, Hokage-sama," the silver-haired nin replied evenly. "We were just going over a few fundamental skills. And Sakura can keep them in line. More importantly, what's the problem?"

"Not so much as a problem, per say," Tsunade replied. "We recently received a letter from a foreign ninja guild. They have sent the information of the ninja that will be visiting our village and are requesting for a confirmation of which ninja we will send to them in compliance with the Foreign Exchange Program between our two societies."

Kakashi cocked his visible eyebrow, unsure of the term.

"Hmm, I guess you were too young to remember the last time we had a visitor from them, seeing as how it was twenty years ago." Ah, now he remembered. He was six, going on seven, a freshly-promoted chunin. But his father wasn't present to congratulate his achievement because he was sent on a special mission in another country. In his place was the strangest ninja he had ever laid eyes on. He wore a black gi, with a grey full bodysuit underneath. He also wore a grey mask, with the front of it colored black. But strangest of all, there was a big bushy moustache smack-dab on the mask. The 'stache itself seemed to emit a weird genjutsu, creating an air of command around the man. And he didn't speak a lick of Japanese, but kept on speaking mangled English and gestured a lot with his hands. Didn't he know all Leaf-nin were taught multi-language courses in the Academy? Oh, the Hokage was talking again…

"Let me give you a little history lesson on this program. It was founded more than a hundred years ago, by the First Hokage in his days of youth. He traveled to other countries, seeking adventure and knowledge. Somehow, he got on the wrong side of a bunch of pirates and they declared a blood feud upon all ninjas. After giving them a thorough defeat, he left to explore a little island country off the coast of Europe. There, he discovered a small village being pillaged by pirates. The First was tempted to aid them, but to his surprise, saw that it wasn't needed when they displayed a remarkable shinobi skill. To this day, we still haven't discovered what that skill was.

"Anyways, after seeing the villager's skill, he decided to instruct them in the ways of the ninja, to help them fend off future pirate attacks. Pretty soon, a ninja clan was formed and they immigrated further west, forming a guild. To maintain contact with this new group of ninjas, the First created the Foreign Exchange Program, in which one ninja from each side goes to study the other side's progress and just simply learn and experience new things. They each stay there for exactly one month and then return to their respective places. This happens once every twenty years, and that's where you come in, Kakashi." Although his posture was casual, he was rapt with attention.

"There's no doubt that they will be sending their best of the best to Konoha, to learn from us and show us how they've grown. And so, to honour that, we must send our best of the best, and our best is you."

Kakashi's visible eye curved, smiling. "I'm touched that you hold me in such high esteem, Tsunade-sama." He said coyly. A vein pulsed dangerously on her forehead.

"This isn't the time for stroking your ego, brat! This needs to be treated with the utmost care! If Konoha fails to uphold its image in another country, we'll lose all credibility there!"

"I understand, Hokage-sama," Kakashi's voice came low and serious. Now she remembered why she chose him. "I will perform to the utmost best of my abilities there. I will do as Hokage-sama requested. I will succeed." His attitude changed when he gave his trademark eye-smile. "However, someone will have to explain to my poor students as to why their sensei is abandoning them."

Tsunade felt a migraine coming on. "Right, of course. The foreign ninja will be taking your place as their sensei, so they can get a taste of what you go through. I need to pound some facts into their heads to get them on their best behaviour."

Ha, good luck with that. Kakashi inwardly laughed. "I suppose our guest will also be living at my residence?" Tsunade nodded. "Then I'd better tell Pakkun and the others to not maul the poor foreigner when they're sleeping. And…maybe do a little cleaning."

"Good," she nodded in approval, "Now go get packed. You leave for America tomorrow morning. And try to have a good time."

"Hai." The jounin flickered out of sight.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away…

"Hell no!"

The sound of the protest blasted from the house, echoing off the cavernous walls and frightening a flock of birds outside the mouth of the cave.

The source of this cry came from the living room, from the vocal cords of a man wearing slacks, a button-down shirt and tie, a white lab coat, a stethoscope, and a black and grey ninja mask. Dr. McNinja was arguing with his parents…again.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" asked Dan McNinja in disbelief. "This is the chance of a lifetime, to be able to experience the culture of the ninja's homeland! You must be an idiot not to go! Besides, we've already sent a letter telling them that you're going and they've sent one back saying they're sending someone here."

"But I have responsibilities to tend to, patients to see! I'm a doctor! You can't expect me to take a month off and go gallivanting in Japan!"

"Of course you can," said Dan, not giving up ground. "Just get on the plane and off you go! Didn't you do that a few months ago? Going off to Pennsylvania and fighting Count Chocula?"

"It was Transylvania and Count Dracula. And it was for a good cause! Ben was turning into a headless horseman and Dracula could cure him!"

"Why can't I go to Japan?" Asked Sean, or 'Dark Smoke Puncher'. "I'd love to go visit one of their comic book conventions. They're off da hook, yo!"

Mitzi sighed in exasperation. "For the last time, you can't go. You're not old enough. We need to make a good impression on those Japanese ninjas. Your brother is the only one qualified to go."

"Oh yeah?" said the Doctor. "So now I'm a great ninja, huh? But weren't you complaining just last week how awful and disgraceful my actions were to the family? And why can't you or Dad go? You're good enough, aren't you?"

Dan just shook his head sadly. "No, unfortunately. I've already done this, so it wouldn't make sense for me to go again. And your mother has her karate class to teach."

"Wha- Mom teaches karate?" asked Dr. McNinja. Mitzi just shrugged.

"Well of course. What do you think I do all day? Stay home and make pickled beets? Oh, and be sure to bring some of that for those Japanese ninjas when you go."

"Ugh, for the last time, I'm not going!" the Doctor growled in frustration. "Nothing you say will change my mind!"

Dan rubbed his chin. "Nothing, huh?"

"Yes, nothing!"

"Well, how about this. 'Mitzi, tranq 'em'."

"Tranq wha-?" Dr. McNinja collapsed on the floor as his mother fired a tranquilizer dart into him with enough juice to down a bull elephant on Red Bull.

Several hours later…

Dr. McNinja jerked awake, finding himself aboard a plane headed straight for Japan. Just great he thought, Judy's gonna be livid. How did they even get me on the plane without anyone noticing? Oh wait; Ninja. Right. He sighed as he let his head fall on the seat's head rest. How was he supposed to learn anything from those ninjas if he can't even understand them? He felt something hard digging into him in his coat pocket. It was a pocket dictionary, a Japanese-English dictionary to be precise. On it was a note.

Thought this might come in handy. Try to make a good impression and don't embarrass the family. Oh, wuss out and I'll burn all your Batman stuff. Have fun!

Mom and Dad (and Dark Smoke Puncher)

P.S. Bring back some souvenirs!

He sighed again. Well, maybe this would be a good experience for him, you know, try different things. So the Doctor resigned himself for the task and flipped through the dictionary, hurtling at 150 miles an hour towards the homeland of his namesake.

Notes: Damn, did I introduce an author's note topic from another author's note? That's bad, yo, that's bad. I'm losing my originality! I'M RECYCLING! NOOOOOO!-Oh wait, let's focus on recycling! That's good, right? Let's talk about it next time. Zai Jian!

- Chindu, Prince of Darkness