My Sunday consisted of nothing but grocery shopping and moping. Why does my life suck? Why couldn't I have just been born a caterpillar? Or a frog? Or like a chair or something?

I grabbed a tub of ice cream and some ramen. I made it over to the living room couch (where I spent most of the day) and turned on the television. I flipped through the channels until I found a novela playing on one of those foreign channels.

30 minutes later I was crying (because goddammit Jose, why would you cheat on your beautiful blind wife who had a horrific past? With her evil step sister at that!), the entire ice cream was gone (I'm a fat cow) and I had devoured 3 cups of ramen (I'm officially a beached whale).

At least my life wasn't like the characters on this novela. Those fictional characters's live's suck. Feeling a little better, I cleaned the mess and started to flip through channels again. I ended up falling asleep to white noise and warm cushions.

But at least in novela's the good guys always win, the hero always finds their happy ending.

When Monday arrived (all evil and bitchy and fuck why is it raining?), no one thought anything was wrong until lunch came around. I quickly ate my food and before I could say some lame excuse to get the fuck out because holy shit Sasuke was in the same room and only a few feet away, Sakura grabbed me by the arm.

"What's wrong?"

"W-what do you mean? I need to go to Iruka's room." She frowned, eye brows scrunching up in suspicion. I shifted from one foot to the other, giving her a nervous smile. "Y-you know I'm failing his class Sakura! C'mon."

"You've never gone in for tutoring before, why is this different?"

"Iruka and I talked a lot the other day." She sighed, not completely convinced.

"We're hanging out after school."

"I-I really can't. You guys go-"

"Just you and I, Naruto." She waved at him, giving him no option.

"O-ok." I turned to look at the rest of the group, most still eating and others looking at me oddly. I avoided the particular set of glaring eyes. "See you guys later!" I quickly sprinted the fuck out of there because holy shit, I thought Sasuke was going to shank me.

I know I said I wasn't going to avoid him but I feel so awkward. It's like walking around with socks and sandals on during summer. It was just weird, in an uncomfortable way. I felt so embarrassed.

I never talked about my emotions, they were personal and thus me dealt with in that manner but, fuck, he molested the fuck out of my personal emotion bubble. Which is weird all in its self because it's Sasuke. Socially inept Sasuke. The same guy that almost punched this chick that tried to confess to him because he thought the box of chocolates was actually a bomb. The same guy who laughed at those sad animal abuse commercials on TV. This was the same guy that told his pre-k teacher that he wanted to grow up to be Darth Vader.

Dammit. Why does he like my anyway? Why am I the unfortunate victim? Does he want to drink my blood or something? Oh my god. If we had kids he'd raise them to be douches like him.

Wait.

Neither of us could get pregnant.

Thank god.

I'm pretty sure Sasuke reproducing is the equivalent of the apocalypse. That bastard should get neutered or something.

I was just about to turn a corner when an annoying screech, that I'm pretty sure could be heard from a 3 mile perimeter, sounded. The fucking bell. Can't believe I spent the entire lunch walking around these damn hallways. I should've just skipped, I would have avoided teachers, Sasuke, Sakura's 'hanging out' session after school, and people in general. My feet began to drag me towards Calculus. Yes, I said Calculus. I'm not stupid. Iruka's class is the only one I'm failing, it's Anatomy. Damn, human body.

Wish we were Ditto's. I'd only have to remember goo. What about the spinal cord? Nope, goo. Goo everywhere.

I contemplated going to class before I smiled and decided not to.

Don't be like me. You get butt-raped by a dildo, suck your guy friend off, give your other friend a handjob, and have the devils bastard child confessing he likes you. While contemplating your sexuality because dammit, Brad Pitt is really fucking hot and I want to lick chocolate off his vanilla abs.

I snuck out of campus swiftly with a grin. I took my ipod out as I approached the bust stop close to campus. What should I do?It took a total of 15 minutes before the bus arrived. I was just about to get on when I felt someone grab my arm and pull me. I stumbled backwards, the bus driver starred at me confused before he closed the doors and drove away.

"W-wait! Sir!" I tried signal the driver. Fucking shit.

I growled, clawing at the offending hand still on me. As soon as it was off, I turned around to fucking cut the asshole. A smirk came to view, not the usual arrogant one, but a smirk none the less. My back turned stiff and I swear my lungs were currently failing me.

"Where are you going Dobe?"

Fuck.

END.

Sorry this chapter was so short. I didn't know how to go about it lol but I finally got it, so the next chapter will hopefully be longer :) Thank you for reading. This was a little late too T_T I'm really sorry I know I said every Thursday but hey, it's only been Friday for about an hour sooo...