A/N; Alright. So this AU fic is dedicated to someone, a relative who was – and still is – very important to me. She was an absolutely amazing woman, who was strong and kind-hearted, yet somewhat soft-spoken – and she was practically ignored by her family members, other than a choice few (that included myself).

This fic's warnings are; character death, angst, and an odd friend for Matthew. I understand that Prussia has really only met Canada once, during the April Fool's day 'Ore-sama no Blog' hilarity (maple syrup on pancakes), but he seems to know that it's Canada, and not America. Also, they are all older in this story, in order to keep some semblance of everything. I'm bad with regards to how x-ray processes work at a hospital, so I just did my best. If anyone has any clue on how it works, please – don't hesitate to PM me and help me out? (: Your help will be very appreciated.

This story does not have a happy ending, so if you don't like those kinds of stories, please – do not read this. And there are no pairings.

This AU does not follow the actual timeline of what occurred, and how things occurred, nor is Matthew entirely acting like this relative did. I changed those things around for certain reasons. The disease is the same, however. The end result is also pretty much the same, except for the sorrow.
Anyways, I've gone on long enough. Here's the story. It will be a two-shot.

Disclaimer; I do not own Axis Powers HETALIA. ):

---

Matthew stared out the window at the pouring rain, sorrow stabbing at his heart. He was used to being ignored, certainly, but he wasn't even being mistaken for his brother, which was a new development in the story of his life.

His light indigo eyes shimmered in the window's reflection, droplets of water rolling down the outside of the glass pane and blurring the image.

The tears that streaked down Matthew's pale face were disguised by the water in his reflection, but not on his cheeks, which were stained by the salty liquid.

"I don't know how much more I can take… I feel weaker these days…" He murmured to himself quietly. Matthew couldn't even remember why he was talking so silently – he had no reason to be concerned about the figures sleeping in the rooms just across the hall from his.

It wasn't as if they would hear him, anyways.

His mind slipped back into the conversation that he had participated in earlier, with the one person who never mistook him for his brother, and never forgot his name or his face, or looked over his presence.

---

"Yo, Matt! What's up?" A cocky voice called out, shocking the Canadian. Matthew spun around just in time to see Gilbert running up to him, the Prussian's trademark smirk decorating his lips. He gave the other male a weak smile, mumbling a pleasant 'Hello, Gilbert' when the silver-haired man arrived in front of him.

"… Matt, you're lookin' pale. Are you okay?" Matthew blinked in confusion – was that actually concern that he had heard in Gilbert's voice? He shook it off, and strengthened his smile.

"O-Of course, Gilbert. You just surprised me, t-that's all," the Canadian responded happily when the other male's arm wound around his shoulder.

"Well, c'mon, let's go!"

"Wh-Where are we going?"

"Let's go take a walk! I just wanna chat, is there somethin' wrong with that?" Gilbert gave the blonde a pointed look, bringing an embarrassed flush to the Canadian's face.

"N-No, of course not! But… No one notices me anyways, Gilbert… We could just stand here and talk, and no one would know…" Matthew's voice drifted off into an uncomfortable silence as Gilbert's stare turned into a glare, and he tightened his grip around the other male's shoulders.

"This is serious, Matt. C'mon, let's go," Gilbert repeated, more sternly this time. Matthew merely nodded, and went along with the Prussian.

When the two were finally out of earshot of the other beings, Gilbert rounded on the Canadian, fixating him with a glower so violent that Matthew took a few steps back, fear clutching at his heart.

"Alright, Matt – tell me what's wrong, now."

"N-Nothing is wrong, Gilbert! Would you like to come over to my place? I'll make some pancakes, and I have some maple syrup in the refrigerator-" Matthew weakly attempted a subject change, but it only seemed to further infuriate the other male.

"Don't. Tempt. Me." Gilbert snapped, interrupting the Canadian. "Tell me what's wrong, Matthew! You know I listen! Why won't you just tell me, dammit?!" The silver-haired male's voice took on a bit of a pleading note, hidden within all of the anger that he had towards the hiding Canadian.

"… N-Not here, Gilbert, please…" Matthew whispered, tears pricking at his eyes. Gilbert blinked, and stepped forward, linking arms with the blonde.

"Alright, then let's go back to your place-"

"Alfred! There you are!" A heavily-accented voice called out, and Matthew slumped considerably, turning away from Gilbert to stare at the oncoming Arthur with a slightly displeased gaze.

"Arthur, I'm Matthew," He attempted, albeit in a small voice, and Arthur blinked before narrowing his eyes, leaning forward as he scrutinized the blonde. Finally, he pulled back, and sighed.

"Sorry, Matthew. Do you have any idea where Alfred is? I have a bone to pick with that bloody git." Arthur's disapproving, emerald-coloured gaze swept over the area, and Matthew weakly shook his head.

"No, I don't know-" He began, but the Englishman had already started off in another direction.

"-where he is…" Matthew finished lamely, his hurt gaze dropping to the ground. He was cut off from the emotional pain by a particularly brutal tug on his arm, which brought his attention back onto the angered Prussian man.

"Let's go, Matthew." Gilbert snapped, his ruby eyes flaring with fury as he dragged the Canadian off in the direction of his home.

"G-Gilbert, wait-" Matthew's statement was responded to with a sharper tug on his arm, dragging him along at a quicker pace. Gilbert seemed to have the way to the Canadian's house memorized fully, because he took all of the correct turns without fully watching where he was going.

Gilbert surprised Matthew even more so when he reached into the blonde's sweater pocket and pulled out his keys, unlocking the door before shoving him inside, following after him before slamming the door shut.

"Alright, spill." The tone of voice that Gilbert had adopted was a serious, to-the-point one that allowed no argument. Matthew knew when he was defeated, and released a sigh before beckoning to the Prussian, leading him towards the main room. The pair sat down on a pair of chairs that faced one another, and Gilbert impatiently tapped his fingers repeatedly on the arms of the piece of furniture.

"It's just that… I know I should be used to being ignored all the time. But I just feel odd this time. I don't know. And if they're not ignoring me, they're mistaking me for Alfred. And if they know who I am, then they just don't seem to care enough to ask me how my day was. From Arthur, it's always 'Alfred this' and 'Alfred that'. And with Francis, there's always another woman that he brings home, and he argues almost non-stop with Arthur. And Alfred… His hero complex is still very out-of-control, and he's always saying that he's better than everyone else, including me – when he remembers that his own brother exists." Matthew stated scornfully, his eyes gaining a distant look to them as he continued.

"But now… I feel odd. The pain from being ignored… It's becoming unbearable, I guess," The Canadian finished solemnly, and glanced up at the chair opposite his. Gilbert was staring at him intensely, his gaze unreadable. After a moment of tense silence, the Prussian stood up and moved in front of him, pulling him unceremoniously to his feet, and into a hug.

"If they're hurting you so badly, don't fuckin' hide it, dipshit! No one can help you if you hide it!"

"No one cares!" Matthew could not help himself – he blurted it out without thinking, and felt the Prussian stiffen. Gilbert immediately drew back, and struck him hard across the face, before grabbing his shoulders and giving him a rough shake.

"Fuckin' listen to me! I care! So if you hide shit like this from me again, I'll beat your ass so hard you'll wish I was one of the assholes ignoring you, got it?!" Matthew raised a hand in amazement to his stinging cheek, his widened eyes staring into Gilbert's crazed ones.

"…" Matthew had no idea how to respond to that. However, his eyes started pricking again. And the tears began flowing this time.

He collapsed against the Prussian's chest, who held him in a surprisingly gentle grip.

"Got it?" Gilbert repeated wearily, gaining a small nod from the weeping blonde.

"Good."

---

Matthew slumped in the chair, his dejected, pale face staring back at him through a wet glass pane – when had the rain stopped, he couldn't remember…

Why were his eyes so haunted?

Why was the pain turning physical?

Why did he feel so weak?

Why wasn't he noticeable?

Why wasn't he important?

Why was he so soft-spoken?

Why was he forgettable?

Why did he continue to put up with this, day after day?

Why couldn't they understand how he felt?

The blonde reluctantly heaved himself out of the chair and stumbled out of the room, down the hallway, and entered his own bedroom. He closed the door softly – again, it's not like they would notice him anyways – before wandering absently over to his bed and collapsing on top of it, his face buried in his pillow.

'I'll have to make Gilbert some pancakes tomorrow…' He thought to himself before he drifted off to sleep.

---

"Francis, you bloody frog, get your hand off of my arse!"

"But, mon cher, you cannot tell me that you do not like this!"

"C'mon, you two old farts! The hero has arrived! Now stop fighting so I can get my coffee and not spill it this time!"

"Oh shove it, you bloody git!"

"Good morning," A soft voice murmured, but it was ignored. The breakfast laid out on the table was eaten quickly, and Matthew was finally graced with a small smile from the Frenchman.

"Wonderful breakfast," Francis chuckled, gaining odd stares from Arthur and Alfred. He stood and took his plate over to the sink, rinsing it with water before leaving some of the clear liquid in it to remove any other residue.

"I'm off to work! I shall be home tonight. Au revoir~"

"Oh just go already, you wanker."

"Love you too, Arthur."

"I must be off, too." The Englishman brushed off Francis' snide comment as he, too, took his plate over to the sink and repeated the process that the Frenchman had done moments before.

"Alright, later, Francis! C'mon, let's go, Artie!" Alfred mumbled through the food in his mouth as he stood, leaving his plate on the kitchen table. In the process, he gained a disgusted eye-roll from Arthur, and the two departed the kitchen. The sound of the front door opening was heard from the corridor, but it took a moment for it to close, making the Canadian wonder if they were contemplating saying good-bye to him.

Sadly, all he heard were voices for less than a minute before the door closed.

Silence reigned over the room for a moment, before his voice broke the silence.

"I'm quite good today, how are you? Oh that's wonderful. I had a very nice sleep, thank you for asking. Of course I didn't mind cooking breakfast for you three today, you're quite welcome, eh." Matthew muttered to himself in irritation as he picked up his own plate and Alfred's before placing them both in the sink. He glanced over at the pan and, after a moment's thought, poured more batter in. It would be good to make some pancakes for Gilbert, as a thank-you for the Prussian's concern over his well-being.

"So, you talk to yourself when you're all alone?" An amused voice shocked the Canadian into jumping nearly out of his skin, and he spun around, clutching his chest. Gilbert quirked an eyebrow, chuckling to himself as he shook his head, saying, "Calm down, Matt, it's just me. I'm not the Bogeyman – I'm worse, remember~?"

Even with that joke, Matthew could not seem to calm down.

His eyes were wide, and he panted heavily, his fingers tightening their grip around his red, maple-leaf sweater.

"… Matt? Matt!" Gilbert shouted, finally managing to snap the Canadian out of it. Matthew stared at him for a moment before shaking his head.

"S-Sorry, Gilbert. Just… Just tired," He sighed, removing his hand from his chest, where his heart was fluttering frantically. "Would you like some pancakes? I was just about to make some for you anyways, as a thank-you for helping me yesterday."

Gilbert watched the blonde closely, his eyes scrutinizing his face. Finally, he released a grunt of approval and sat himself down at the table, balancing his head on the palm of his hand, with his elbow resting on the cloth decorating the top of the wooden surface. Matthew allowed himself a small smile at the sight of the grumpy Prussian collapsed in his chair, before turning around and grabbing the spatula, prodding at the quickly warming batter.

"So… How are you, eh?"

"Frustrated." Came the suddenly snippy response, and Matthew quirked an eyebrow as he threw a concerned glance over his shoulder.

"Why are you frustrated…?" He inquired tentatively, and the bored, scarlet gaze rose to meet his.

"I know that you talked to me yesterday, but… There's somethin' goin' on with you, and either you don't know, or you're not tellin' me, dammit. You didn't give me the whole story yesterday, I just know it," Gilbert replied blandly, his other hand's index finger tracing swirling patterns on the tablecloth.

Matthew sighed, before flipping the two pancakes that were sizzling in the pan. "Just wait until your pancakes are done, please. Then I'll talk to you, okay?"

He received another grunt in response, before he focused his attention on finishing the pancakes. The kitchen was silent for some time, before Matthew deemed the pancakes done, and removed them from the pan, sliding them from the spatula onto a plate. He took the plate over to the kitchen table and placed it in front of the Prussian, who blinked. The Canadian pushed the bottle of maple syrup over to the now ecstatic albino, who poured a generous amount over his pancakes before digging into the delicious food with the knife and fork that the blonde had supplied him with.

"C-Careful, Gilbert! Don't choke! Did you not have breakfast yet?" Matthew laughed, sitting himself delicately down across from the Prussian.

"Mmph-" Gilbert placed the knife down on the plate, and gesturing animatedly with his now-free hand. He swallowed heavily a few times, before grinning. "No, I didn't have breakfast – West was taken over to a sleepover by that weird, Italian dude – Feliciano, was it? Eh, whatever his name was, he's with him. So I decided to pop over to check how you were before I went out for breakfast!" He popped another piece of pancake-soaked-in-maple-syrup into his mouth with a delighted humming noise.

"A-Ah, yes, it is Feliciano," Matthew responded softly, fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth absentmindedly. "Thanks for coming over…"

Gilbert quirked an eyebrow at the blonde, and swallowed the piece of pancake in his mouth before putting down his utensils and fixating Matthew with a severe gaze. "Did they do it again?"

Matthew winced quite visibly, hanging his head. "Arthur and Alfred didn't see me at all during breakfast, and all Francis did was smile at me and say 'wonderful breakfast' before he left."

"But, Matt-" Gilbert began, but he noticed that Matthew's free hand was clutching at the left side of his chest – the same place that it had been holding onto before.

"… Is something wrong, Gilbert?" Matthew asked worriedly, noticing an unreadable glint in the scarlet eyes that stared at him unwaveringly.

"Why are you holdin' your chest?"

"Eh? It's n-nothing, Gilbert, please-" The Canadian pleaded, but the Prussian stood and slammed his hands down on the table, narrowing his furious gaze.

"Just tell me already, Matt! Don't you trust me?!" Gilbert shouted, desperation and pain lacing his voice. "You've been doin' that for about five fuckin' years now! But now you're doin' it more often, and, and… Matt, this is so not awesome! Just tell me!"

Matthew stared wide-eyed at the heavily panting Prussian, who glowered right back at him. He shifted uncomfortably, before sighing.

"Alright… I-I've been getting pain in my chest for a while now… It's getting worse recently. And I'm finding it harder to breathe, and it's even worse when I run or I get scared-" Matthew waved off the somewhat apologetic look that Gilbert gave him. He stared down at the table blankly, continuing with, "And I've done to the doctor's already, but they just said that it was nothing. It's getting worse, though. I don't know if it's psychological pain, so it doesn't exist anywhere but my own mind, but… I just don't know. I've gone in multiple times, and they've checked, but they don't know, and…" The blonde was cut off when a gloved hand landed on his head, ruffling his silky, blonde hair.

"C'mon, then. We're gonna take you to a hospital, dammit. You shouldn't be havin' trouble breathin', it's not right! Now, the Awesome Gilbert will get you there!" Matthew was unceremoniously tugged him from his sitting position, and dragged out of the kitchen. Gilbert was ignoring his cries of 'the dishes, I need to wash them!' and 'I think I left the stove on!', instead opting to whistle incessantly as he pulled the struggling blonde out the front door of his own house. The door was kicked shut, and Matthew struggled against Gilbert's hold long enough to lock the door with the key he always kept in his sweater pocket.

"Off we go!" Gilbert cheered as he opened the passenger door to his car and shoved the unwilling Canadian into the seat, buckling him in before slamming the door shut. He practically skipped over to the driver's side of the vehicle, throwing himself in and buckling his seatbelt.

"W-Wait, Gilbert! Eh?!"

"Hold on!" The Prussian laughed uproariously as he turned the key in the ignition, and the car's engine roared to life. He put it in reverse and backed out of the driveway quickly, before slamming his foot down on the gas pedal as it was switched into drive, the vehicle speeding off down the road.

---

"Dammit!" Gilbert swore, reclining backwards in his chair.

The pair were in the hospital waiting room, and the Prussian's impatience was taking effect.

"Gilbert, please, calm down…" Matthew tried, but his attempts were proven futile.

"We've been waiting for how long now?!"

"… T-Twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes?! Christ! Why haven't you been taken in yet-"

As if on cue, Gilbert's tirade was interrupted with a loud, "Mr. Matthew Williams?"

Grateful, the blonde stood up, and pulled the Prussian along with him. Gilbert grinned amiably at the blonde, and the pair followed the ever-smiling nurse down the hallway, where she pointed wordlessly at a room before murmuring, "The doctor will see you shortly."

Gilbert mockingly saluted the girl as she walked away, before Matthew sighed and tugged him into the room. The blonde wandered over to the bed and pulled himself up onto it, reclining against the pillow.

"You look comfortable," Gilbert commented wryly, gaining a somewhat exasperated glance from the Canadian male.

"Gilbert, please do me a favour?"

"Sure, what is it, Matt?"

"Shut up, eh." Gilbert blinked at the blonde's stern gaze, before he laughed.

"Alright, alright, I get the picture!" The Prussian plopped himself down in the chair beside the head of the hospital bed, and smirked at Matthew.

Said blonde opened his mouth to respond, but footsteps echoed loudly down the hallway, and a doctor appeared in the doorway.

"Hello, aru! You must be Matthew Williams, correct?" At the nod he received from the blonde, he smiled gently. "Pleasure to meet you, aru. I'm Dr. Wang Yao. Now, I've read over your information, and this seems very… Odd, aru. Shortness of breath, pain in your chest, excessive fatigue…" Yao listed off the problems that Matthew had been experiencing, and the blonde nodded to every single one.

"Hm… Well, it would be best if we ran some tests. If you would, sir, aru…?" Yao glanced pointedly at the Prussian, who snorted balefully and stood.

"Alright, Matt – I'll be in the frickin' waitin' room. Call for me if you need me." With a pat on the blonde's head and a large grin in the doctor's direction, Gilbert swept gracefully past Yao and vanished through the doorway, his footsteps sounding out for a short while before they vanished.

"Um, Dr. Yao… Do you think that this is nothing? That it might be psychological?" Matthew mumbled softly as the doctor moved over beside him and donned his stethoscope, pushing the metal part up the Canadian's sweatshirt and t-shirt underneath.

"Deep inhale, please. … Now exhale." Yao ordered politely, and the Canadian obeyed. The process was completed three other times, before the doctor sighed. "I don't think it's psychological, aru. There does seem to be something off about your breathing, and your heart rate is exceedingly distressing. Have you been very stressed out lately, aru?" He asked in a concerned voice as he retracted the stethoscope from the blonde's chest.

Matthew flushed slightly, lowering his head so that his blonde bangs hid his eyes. "Y-Yes… But I've been stressed for most of my life. I don't see how it should affect me now…"

"Please, follow me – we're going to go run some tests. I do not think a blood test is needed, but an x-ray certainly is, aru! Have you been to a doctor recently?"

"Yes, but my doctor thinks that it's nothing…"

"That is not a good thing, Mr. Williams, aru. Now, if you would?" Yao's smile returned to his face, and the Canadian mirrored it before sliding off the bed and following the doctor out of the room and down the hallway.

"In here, please." Yao gestured at a doorway, and Matthew nodded his ascent, entering the room.

"Please remove your sweatshirt, before we proceed, aru."

Matthew flushed a bright red with embarrassment, and pulled his red sweater over his head.

"Alright, I'll need you to…" The doctor went through the instructions, and Matthew followed them.

The x-ray machine whirred to life as the doctor left the room to control it from afar.

Matthew lay with his eyes closed on the bed, pushing back the want to squirm. It had only taken minutes to get x-rays of his chest, but to the blonde, it had felt like hours. Days, even.

No more x-rays were taken, and Matthew cautiously opened one, light-indigo eye as the Chinese male re-entered the room, his facial expression one of grim distress.

Matthew could have sworn that he felt his fluttering heart stop at that single look that he gained.

"D-Dr. Yao…?" He inquired tentatively, sitting up as the x-ray machine was quietly moved away from his body. He clasped his hands together in his lap, the appendages shaking violently as he tried to quell their movements.

The doctor remained silent for another couple of moments, before he sighed.

"Please, come with me, Mr. Williams. Would you like to have your red-eyed friend with you when I give you the diagnosis, aru?"

"… Y-Yes, please." The Canadian stood and followed the oddly silent doctor from the x-ray room, and back down the hallway to the room he had been in beforehand.

"I will go get your friend, aru. What was his name?"

"G-Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Alright. Please sit on the bed, I will be back momentarily, aru." Yao gave Matthew a weak smile before he left the room, vanishing down the corridor. Matthew sat obediently on the bed and twiddled his thumbs awkwardly, his somewhat uneven breathing echoing in his ears.

He heard a shout from down the hallway, and glanced up at the doorway in amazement when Gilbert skidded around it and leaped into the room, landing on the bed beside the blonde with a crazed grin.

"Yo, Matt! That was fast!" He laughed, putting an arm around the Canadian's shoulders. Matthew gave him a weak smile, slouching slightly as the doctor re-entered the room, and closed the door behind him.

"So, doc, what's the diagnosis?" Gilbert asked, tightening his grip on the blonde ever-so-slightly.

"Mr. Williams… The x-rays have showed that your… Your lymph nodes are in very bad condition, aru. It appears that the prolonged amount of time that you have suffered from this unknown ailment has caused the problem to become worse." Yao sighed, fixing the blonde with a sorrowful look. "The problem that you have has been identified as non-Hodgkin's lymphoma."

Matthew could only stare at Yao in horrified disbelief. A small, pitiful noise escaped his lips, and his face blanched of the small amount of colour it had retained.

"It… It's treatable, Mr. Williams, aru," Yao continued, and Matthew leaned forward, eager to hear how he could treat this disease and be saved-

"But, you have five to ten years left, maximum ten. This form of Hodgkin's lymphoma cannot be cured. I'm… I'm terribly sorry, aru."

"No! I refuse to believe it!" Gilbert thundered, his eyes flaring dangerously. A choked noise brought his attention to the abnormally pale man beside him, and he wrapped his arms around Matthew, bringing the blonde into a tight hug as the Canadian began crying wildly.

"There is a new form of treatment that we are trying out, that might lengthen your life-span… It's still in a trial run, though. I'm not sure if you want to be one of the people who are willing to have it tested on them, aru…"

"Why would Matt become a fuckin' guinea pig for you shitheads?!" Gilbert snapped instantly, baring his teeth at the doctor.

"I'll do it." Matthew's voice may have been shaky, but it was firm as well.

"B-But, Matt-!"

"No, Gilbert. I want to do this. If… If I can get a longer chance at life than I already have, then I'm going to do a lot of things differently," Matthew responded, hugging the concerned Prussian back. "So please, just let me do this, alright?"

Gilbert switched his gaze between the hopeful doctor and the stubborn blonde a few times, before he gave a sigh that sounded clearly of defeat.

"Alright… But if anythin' happens-" Gilbert began uneasily, but he was cut off by the Canadian.

"It'll be my fault, Gilbert. It's my choice whether I get this done or not, and it'll be my fault if anything happens. I doubt anything will, though," Matthew gave his friend a reassuring smile, and Gilbert gave a small nod.

"Dammit, whatever. Do whatever you want, Matt."

"Thank you, Gilbert!" Matthew smiled at the Prussian, who glanced away with an irritated 'Feh!', although his lips were quirked upwards slightly in the semblance of a smile.

"Please come with me, both of you – we'll get the paperwork filled out, and will hopefully have you started on this new treatment within the next couple of days, aru!" Yao's eyes twinkled with delight as he led the pair out of the room and back towards the desk in the waiting area.

Gilbert cast the smiling blonde and the paperwork an unnerved look.

Even though this treatment could help Matthew, it could also hurt him, since it was still in the trial stage.

It was great to be optimistic, but…

Gilbert couldn't help the feeling of dread that filled his entire being when his friend signed those papers, and shook hands with the doctor.