Title: My Mistake

Author: Emo Barbie

Extra: I realize I've been slipping again, my works aren't as great as they should be. And the reason is, I've had a lot on my mind, I haven't been getting on the computer much, and haven't been giving my fics much thought. So sorry for the lossy fics you've been getting. But hopefully once I get settled at school and my mines more at ease, I'll be able to write better. Until then, please deal with these horrifying things your getting from me.

My Mistake

I think I might've made a mistake. And it's just no little mistake either, you see...I thought that once we got home...I might bring up the whole, 'marriage proposal' thing again, but apparently Perry didn't agree...he's been gone for almost three days straight. And to top it off...

"Hey, J.D, where were you yesterday, man?" J.D glanced up from where he was laying as Turk made his way into the on call room. Since Dr Cox hadn't come home in a while J.D just found it almost impossible to sleep on the older male's bed alone. It just felt...wrong.

"I was at home...why?" J.D raised an eyebrow, finally turning his body towards the other as Turk leaned up against one of the bunk beds.

"Well, I just thought you'd be out with Dr Cox and Jordan."

"What?" J.D sat up, now fully alert.

"Yeah, it was Carla's and My anniversary yesterday so we hit one of those fancy restaurants. Jordan and Dr Cox were there, I thought maybe..." Turk trailed off, realizing that he had just given away a supposed secret.

J.D was hunched over, his fingers fiddling with one another, turned to look up at Turk he finally asked: "You don't think...?"

"Man..." Turk help up his hands. It was true that Turk was fine with J.D being...well, gay. But he had always told J.D from the beginning that Dr Cox had never hit him off as gay at all, he had even been surprised when they had started going out...though Turk didn't actually know until about 6 months into it. It hadn't really helped the fact that in their first year, Jordan had stumbled into the hospital carrying Jack... "If he is, I'm gonna kill him." Turk took a seat next to J.D. "There's no way, I'd let some asshole like him get off two timing my best bud." Turk gave J.D a big grin, though he could tell it was forced.

"Yeah...well, I don't think he'd do that..." Surely, after all this time. Perry wouldn't do that...right?

It's a little scary to think that your lover is cheating on you, it's even scarier when that other person happens to be the mother of his child and his ex-wife...and for me...it was even scarer to think that I might have caused the sudden affair. Maybe...in a way, thinking of marriage scared Perry..maybe...in asking the question I had pushed him away...

J.D dashed into a supply closet, the closest thing he could find as a hiding spot at the moment.

It's been one day, one day, since I heard about Jordan and Perry, and...he's come looking for me. It's not like he's mad or anything, no...it's more like he wants to talk about something...but...I'm afraid...

The young doctor took a moment to catch his breathe...

It's childish logic to think that by simply running away we can avoid bad news, but...

Thinking it was clear, J.D opened the door, cautiously peeking out around the corner, but before he knew it he was being shoved back into it, the door slamming and a heavy weight was pinning him to the steel shelves.

I'm afraid of what I'm gonna hear...

"Sarah..." The male growled through clenched teeth. Those piercing eyes glaring down at him, full of rage, his breathing coming through harsh and ragged through his teeth, something J.D wasn't sure if it was from chasing after him, or just his pure anger alone.

I'm afraid of what he's gonna say...I don't want to hear it...

"I don't want to hear it!" J.D tried to cover his ears but his arms were pinned to his sides, so instead he turned his to press the side of his face into the medical supplies behind him.

"What?" Dr Cox's anger seemed to vanish as a sudden sense of confusion overtook him, but his eyes were still narrowed on the other, and his weight didn't let up.

But in all truth...

"I don't want to hear it!" He began to wrenching back and fourth, trying desperately to get free.

I'm mostly afraid of being unloved...hated...

"Newbie...Newbie..." Dr Cox tried to tighten his hold on the other, but the male was squirming too much.

Or worse...

"J.D!"

...being forgotten, by Dr Cox.

The younger doctor fell silent, his head slumping as he turned to stare at his chest. "I don't want to...be forgotten by you..."

"What?" Dr Cox glared at the other. "What bullshit are you spouting now?" He snapped.

"Bullshit?" J.D turned to glare up at him. "Where have you been the last four days? Huh? And what's this...what's this about Jordan? How could you leave me to go spend your damn time with Jordan? I thought you were done? I mean is this the first time? Or have you been seeing her four the past two years we've been dating? Is it because she's the mother of your-"

"J.D..."

"child? Because...I can try, you know...it might not be the same but I sure as hell can try to raise Jack..or, I'll get a sex change-"

"J.D.."

"I know plenty of people that would do it. I met a lot of plastic surgeons at college, I can just-"

"J.D."

"go and find one and get myself a-"

"J.D!" Dr Cox had picked J.D off the self by an inch before slamming him back into it. "Will you shut up? What shit are you trying to put on me? A sex change, do you realize exactly what your talking about? Your saying you'd give up your damn manhood so that you could raise my child like a real mother? So that you'd be like Jordan?"

"But that's what you like right..? Jordan?"

Dr Cox stood silent for a moment, before finally his rage seemed to subside into mere annoyence.

"You idiot, if I wanted Jordan, a female, mind you, I would have gone to her and not you, a male. And plus, who the hell ever heard of replacing a female with a male? There bodies are too different. If I wanted a girl, do you even think I'd want to touch a guy, let alone a kid like you?"

"There it is again-"

"What?" Dr Cox narrowed his eyes.

"You called me a kid, is that why were not getting married? Cause I'm a kid?"

Dr Cox gritted his teeth. "Oh for the love of-" He slammed his lips onto the other, mostly because it was either that or punching the kid's lights out, and at the moment under the circumstances doing so wouldn't have been such a great idea.

Even though we fight constantly, and no matter how bad those fights get to me, it's just something about Perry...that the moment I kiss him I feel...at ease, as if the world has fallen in line and I have finally find that true happiness that everyone talks about.

"There, now you have your stupid damn connection."

But then again, that true happiness never lasts long.

"What are you talking about-!" J.D shoved the other away, but as he raised his hands to push on the others chest a a sudden glitter caught his attention. "What's..." J.D brought his hand closer for examination, and on his ring finger, sitting fine, was a gold band.

"Jordan's friend owns a jewlery store, after our vacation there wasn't much money left in our account, let alone enough to buy some damn gold rings. So..I asked Jordan if she could get her friend to help me out..." Dr Cox glared down at the floor, hating himself for his sudden weakness that had shown through to Jordan. "We all know...Jordan won't do anything for free so...I had to...do a few things-"

J.D eyed the other.

"Not those things, you idiot." Dr Cox sent a sound smack to J.D's temple.

"Well then what-" J.D scrunched up his nose as he brought a hand to rub at the bump that was now forming

"Don't start." Dr Cox snapped at him. "Just...you wanted to get married right? Well...I ain't gonna do that so don't go getting your panties all in a bunch...but-" Dr Cox motioned down towards the ring on J.D's finger then his own. "Take it off."

"What?" J.D furrowed his brows.

"Take it off." Though J.D was a bit confused he did as he was instructed.

"What do you-" J.D's sharp eyes caught the engravement on the inside. 'My Newbie' In cursive, was written along the inside. "Why'd-" J.D looked up, just in time to see Dr Cox lowering his own hand, but the hint of Golden he had seen through the older man's fingers never escaped him.

"What does yours say?" J.D grinned.

"Nothing." Dr Cox stated plainly. "I'm into that cutesy stuff, like you."

"Aw, really?" J.D made a pout. "Can't we-" But before he could ask, the other was already leaving the closet. "Hey! Come on, we can get it engraved right?"

"No."

"Oh, come one...!" J.D followed after the other, in the start of an argument that was going to be lasting the rest of the day.

A wedding is probably a lot to ask for...

J.D twisted the ring around his finger. "Hey, can we get yours engraved with something like Per-"

"For the last time, we're not getting the damn thing engraved." Dr Cox snapped.

Unlike J.D the other had taken his ring off and set it on the bedside table, he had said it only got in the way while in bed.

"Not even a little...?" Dr Cox huffed as he got out of the bed, letting J.D fall onto the pillow after loosing the shoulder he had been resting on.

"I'm taking a shower." The male huffed, turning and heading into the bathroom, but the pouted whisper of 'meany', never missed his ears.

But I guess a ring is okay...

J.D turned to glare at his lover's empty spot, his eyes trailing were he should have been, when he suddenly noticed the ring on the nightstand.

And now that I think about it, a ring...

A grin crossed J.D's face as he reached out and grabbed it.

It actually quite a lot coming from Dr Percival Cox.

"I'll just try it on..." J.D muttered placing the ring on his left index finger, though compared to his hands the ring hung lopsided, and fell off easily when he turned his hand upside down. "My hands are too small..." J.D pouted as he reached for the ring again, however as he did the inside of the ring caught his attention. "I thought he said..." J.D trailed off.

I guess there are still a lot of things I need to learn about Perry...and being able to read a lie is one of them...

A wide grin crossed the others face at the word. For inside the large golden circle, engraved quite nicely...

But at least I know one thing about him...

The word 'Perr-Bear'.

He loves me.

As I started reading my fanfics over and over, I started realizing I was getting more and more careless with my fics, I wasn't proof reading them as much, I wasn't making them as in character as I should, and a few of them ARE HORRIBLE! But hopefully, I'll get the kinks worked out, and I'll go back to being in character with my fics. I tried hard on this one, despite the plot idea. So Read ad review if you please! And tell me what you think! ^^