Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater or nothin.

So get off it MAN!

The class was assigned to write letters to his/her assigned pin pal at the Eastern Shibusen school in New York City. Black Star was sitting in the outside cafeteria, along with Soul, struggling to write the letter. This is what his read:

Deer Eestrn Shibbusen stoodint,

My name iz Black Star! I am the graytest stoodint at my skool! I am a grayt God!. . . . Even if thay don't know it yet. I hope that ur not a fagit--

"No. . ." He erased "fagit" and wrote a new word.

that ur not a fagte--

"No. . ." He erased "fagte" and wrote a new word.

that ur not a fagowitz--

"No. . ." He erased "fagowitz."

Black Star scratched his head and thought aloud, "Fag. . . Fageet. . .Fagtay. . .Fagowitz--"

"Oh will you SHUT UP?!" Soul's untimely shout made Black Star tip out of his seat.

He looked angrily at Soul. "Ass." Black Star got back up and his ADD kicked in. "Hey Soul," Black Star poked grunted. "How do you spell fagot?" The dumb ninja asked.

Soul squinted his eyes at him. 'Could he really be that stupid?' Black Star sneezed and then screamed in terror. 'Did I really need to ask?' "It's spelled F-A-Get-A-Freaking-Dictionary," He answered. Then he noticed that there was an unusually large dictionary in his hand. Soul's eyes lit up with a spark of mischief. Black Star knew the look well and became scared.

In a frightened voice he asked, "W-What'cha thinking about S-Soul. . .?"

Soul grinned and said, "Soul~. . ." A moment's pause. Then:

"CHOP!!!" Soul shouted as he hit Black Star over the head with his unusually large dictionary. Black Star was grounded about two feet, and a narrow fountain of blood was shooting out of the top of his head. Soul smiled victoriously. "That is pretty fun. . . I see why Tiny Tits always does it."

"Oh Soul~?" A bad vibe ran through Soul's body. "Maka~. . .," A familiar voice rang.

"Oh joy."

"CHOP!!!"

Soul's head went through the table that he was sitting at. He could've sworn that his jaw was broken. Soul asked while trying not to use his jaw, "Ow. Wha wa hat or? (What was that for?)" He glanced up at Maka to meet her glare.

She looked away and said, "Hmph. Don't call me 'Tiny Tits'." Maka sat down next to Soul (by the broken table). She put her lunchbox, what she hit Soul with, on her lap and opened it. Soul swung his legs around so they were on the other side, facing away from the broken table, like Maka. He looked inside. There was a ham and turkey sandwich, cottage cheese, two Dove chocolate bars, and some salmon.

'Why'd she bring salmon? She hates salmon…' He pondered. She laid the container with the salmon in it on his lap. He realized it. 'Oh…' Maka had brought it for him. She also put one of the Dove bars on Soul's lap.

Maka closed her lunchbox and stood up. "A cool guy would've thanked me," Maka declared and walked away.

Soul watched her walk away. He sighed. "She must be on her period again. . ." A giant boulder was propelled at Soul's head. As soon as it connected, Soul flew out of his seat and landed on the recovering Black Star. They both wailed in pain.

Black Star whined, "Why has no one helped the Great BS yet?!"

THEN A GIANT CHICKEN POOPED ON STEIN'S HEAD AND HE TURNED INTO JESUS!!!