Disclaimer : I don't own the characters, they belong to the queen of Witchcraft and Wizardry, J.K. Rowling!!
Author's Note:
Well hello, hello, hello! Welcome to my story! Thankyou ever so much for dropping in!
Now, this is my second ever Harry Potter fanfic, so I would be oh-so grateful if you could review! Constructive criticism is very welcome!
Now, the inspiration for this came from something Snape said in the Prisoner of Azkaban. When Professor Lupin takes the class to teach them about Boggarts, they go in the staff room and Snape is in there. It says 'As Professor Lupin came in and made to close the door behind him, Snape said "Leave it open Lupin. I'd rather not witness this."' Now, surely, Snape would have been the kind of guy to stick around and sneer at their fears? So I figured maybe he wanted to get outta there for personal reasons...
Oh, and this is unrelated, but in the Half Blood Prince, Harry is told a message from Professor Snape. '"...And he wanted you to know you'll be sorting out rotten Flobberworms from good ones, to use in Potions..."' Anyone else see the contradiction? Yep, in HBP Snape is a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Why would he have Harry sort ingredients for Potions?
DEDICATION - To My friends, Mr Cart (who is mentioned here. I used his name but I don't know why :) ) and a Mr Wheatley - for putting up with me raving in texts every time I finished a page of this story! I doubt either of them will ever read this, but there you go!
Please enjoy, and never mind my long author's notes - I tend to ramble!
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Severus Snape watched his class file into the room, and his black eyes narrowed as he frowned. Great. He was teaching the 'Golden Trio' today.
The students took their places, removing parchment and quills from their bags.
"Quills away, wands out." He ordered, voice cold. "Push the desks to the sides of the classroom."
His words were met with excited chatter, and as the teenagers carried out his demands he smirked. The desks could have been moved with a mere flick of his wand, but a little bit of manual labour couldn't hurt them - not that he was bothered if it did.
Snape leant back in his chair and absent-mindedly crept to his neck, his long pale fingers dancing over the bumpy scars left by the Dark Lord's snake. How the teacher had survived such a wound was a miracle : if it hadn't been for Madame Pomfrey's quick thinking he would surely be six feet under by now.
Noticing the class were stood prepared in front of him, he cleared his throat and stood up, making eye contact with everyone there apart from one boy. As Snape whipped around, his black robes billowed around his lean frame and he felt the Potter boy's eyes on him.
Ever since he had shown him his memories, Harry had become even more annoying than ever to the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. In fact, when Snape came around in the Hospital Wing, Harry had been sat at his bedside, pity burning in his green eyes, which - added to everything else - made Snape hate the boy more than ever.
"Now." Snape brought his thoughts back to the present as he gestured towards an old, worn cupboard. "This subject is completely foolish to teach students in their final year, but the Headmistress felt we should review everything you have learnt so far. Personally I doubt you dunderheads have learnt anything so far."
He was interrupted as the cupboard gave a violent wobble, rattling against the wall.
"As you may have guessed, today you will be reviewing the subject of Boggarts."
Excited whispers and some laughter filled the room as the teenagers remembered in their third year when a Boggart Snape had been forced to wear a dress. Snape eyed Neville warily and hoped to God the boy had a new fear : the man had had enough ridicule to last a lifetime, and that was just in his duration in Hogwarts.
Snape noticed Ron dig Harry in the ribs with his elbow, and mutter something that made them both chuckle and glance over at the Professor.
"Ah, Mr Weasley, thank you so much for volunteering to go first."
Severus smirked as the grin fell straight off the red head's face. Ron stumbled forward, pulling his wand from his robes, and stared at the cupboard with a great look of apprehension in his eyes. Snape took a long step backwards, then made the cupboard doors fly open by flicking his wand.
As the doors smashed open, hundreds of spiders - some the size of dinner plates - came scuttling out. Snape had to fight the smirk that almost became a smile when the spiders crawled over Ron's feet causing the boy to let out a girlish squeal.
"Riddikulus!" Ron cried, his voice still high-pitched. In the blink of an eye the spiders had turned into peaceful butterflies, which fluttered calmly around the terrified teenager's knees.
"Miss Johnson." Snape snapped, and a pale girl stepped forward, passing a grumbling Ron, and glared at the butterflies as if they were her worst enemies. Suddenly, the air around them rippled, and the harmless creatures had turned into a rotting zombie, decomposed flesh falling from it's head. The girl pulled a face and flicked her wand.
"Riddikulus!" She growled, and the unreal zombie was confronted by an equally unreal Gilderoy Lockhart, who screamed and slapped the zombie. Sniggers erupted from the crowd.
"Mr Cart."
A determined looking boy strode forward, as Miss Johnson returned to her friends. Lockhart and the zombie vanished, to be replaced by a grinning ghoulish clown. The clown's eyes were invisible under it's black make-up, and it raised a meat cleaver as it cocked it's head eerily.
Snape watched with interest as quite a few students shuddered. Coulraphobia. Such a common fear.
"Riddikulus." The boy hissed, and the clown tripped over it's too-large, floppy shoes. The few affected teens visibly relaxed.
The minutes flashed by, as one by one a student was called up to face their biggest fear, and then ridicule it in some way. The effects of the war were visible to all : a lot of fears had changed so that the Boggart took the shape of friends or family of the student in question were dying, and several fears were that of another battle at Hogwarts.
Snape glanced at his black wizard's watch and realised he better finish up the demonstration if he wanted enough time left to get the pupils to write the essay he had planned. And, he realised as he eyed the Boggart, it was showing all the signs of weakening. Perfect timing.
"Potter," Snape locked eyes with the messy-haired boy, and jerked his head in the direction of the Boggart, which was at that moment, a vampire with broken fangs.
Harry took a deep breath as he stumbled forward. His knees had turned to jelly. What was his fear? He had seen so many horrific things in his lifetime that he suddenly wondered why he was so nervous of a mere Boggart.
In seconds his breath caught in his throat. Lying at his feet were the bodies of Hermione and Ron. Their faces were pale, eyes wide but unseeing. Bent over them was a long, skinny figure, it's white, bald head winking in the light. Suddenly, the figure seemed to realise the boy's presence and looked up. A gasp ran through the room, and several terrified girls screamed.
Red serpent eyes glared at the Boy-Who-Lived, and a small trickle of crimson trickled down the oh-so white chin of the dark wizard.
Harry felt the bile rise in his throat. Voldemort…he was drinking his friend's blood!
"AVADA-" Harry shook himself as he remembered it was merely a Boggart, the real Dark Lord was gone and he was never coming back. "Riddikulus!"
With a pop, Voldemort's head left his body, rolled of his neck and cracked like an egg on the floor, leaving a puddle of yellow yolk on the floor.
Harry gave a weak smile, and brushed at his moist forehead with his quaking hand. There were some wounds obtained in the war that were neither physical or mendable.
"Right. That's all for today. I shall finish this off, then you shall all sit down and get out your parchment and quills, then sit ready to take instructions. Am I understood?" Snape asked, voice dangerously cold.
The students nodded, the small portion who had not had a go with the Boggart looking either disappointed or relieved. One mutinous Slytherin scowled and stage whispered:
"You'd think he'd be a bit nicer now after a near-death experience!"
Snape paused, mid-stride, and turned excruciatingly slowly. The silence was deafening.
"After being bitten by a huge snake, being left in a puddle of your own blood, and only being found six hours later when people came to collect your 'dead body' would you be ecstatically happy?"
The Slytherin boy winced and stumbled backwards. Snape turned back quickly to hide his smirk of amusement when he saw the look of fear on the boy's face.
The tall man cleared his throat, gripped his wand tighter and closed the gap between himself and the shape-shifting creature. Just before the creature changed, Snape felt a flash of unease, as he realised the last time he had faced a Boggart was when he was at Hogwarts himself. Back when Lily was his friend, he remembered with a pang…
He jolted his thoughts away at once. Now was not the time to reminisce!
But when the Boggart settled into a shape, his mouth nearly fell open. Stood before him in all her resonating light was her, his one love, his desire.
His Lily.
Somehow she looked even more beautiful than he remembered. More amazing. And, one part of his mind echoed warningly, more dangerous.
"Sev?" Lily whispered. For a second Snape nearly rushed towards her, but he stopped himself. No! It wasn't her!
"Riddi-"
"Sev?" Lily repeated, but this time her voice was shakier and quieter than before. His resolve crumbled immediately. There was a clatter as his wand slipped from his loosened grip.
"Yes." He confirmed, voice sounding like he had swallowed a mouthful of gravel.
"Why didn't you save me?"
There was a huge pause as Snape's blood ran cold.
"What?" His voice was hushed and cold. His eyes widened.
"You could have saved me. You should have found me protection! You were the right hand man of the two most powerful wizards ever! You could have used one of them to look after me, but you didn't!"
"I did! I did! I asked Tom to spare you, I begged Albus to protect you! I did all I could!" Snape argued, desperate for her to understand.
"Liar!" Lily spet and Snape visably winced. "If you really did all you could, you would have given your life to save me!"
"I would swap my life for yours in a second." He revealed gravely.
"Then why didn't you?" She pressed.
"I didn't know when he would strike! It was Pettigrew who betrayed you, not I! You put your trust in the wrong man!"
Lily looked him up and down, then glared at him.
"Yes I certainly did!" She snapped. Snape flinched and shuffled his feet.
Suddenly a Boggart James stepped behind Lily and wrapped his arms around her.
"I thought you loved him at one point, darling?" The messy-haired man asked her, kissing her neck tenderly.
"Me? Love Snivellus? Never!" She scoffed, laughing with James.
Snape felt a pain deep down in his chest as he heard the only love of his life call him the hurtful nickname that had haunted him through his school days.
Then, just as quickly as he had appeared, James was replaced by a familiar, thick black snake.
"Nagini," Snape breathed, and watched in horror as the serpent twined around the red-head's thin frame.
"Sev…" Lily whispered, eyes concentrated on the snake. "Oh Severus, please help me…"
The dark serpent slithered higher and higher, winding around her body until it's head rested next to her slender neck.
"Please Severus, I'm scared. Get it off me, please." She muttered softly. "PLEASE!"
Snape could only stare on in horror and shock.
The snake looked up at him, and winked with a beady eye, before stretching it's mouth wide up.
"Why aren't you helping?" Lily took a last deep breath, and gave out an inhuman scream. "NOOOOOOOO!"
Nagini lowered it's head, it's three inch fangs piercing Lily's throat. She stumbled back, and crimson blood spurted out, painting the floor and walls, and drowned Snape's hands.
Then, the next thing he knew, he was pushed aside by what looked like a brown, hairy blur.
After a few seconds the teacher took in his surroundings and realised he was on his hands and knees, the stone floor freezing against his skin, and the brown blur which had thrown him there was none other than Miss Hermione Granger.
Hermione had jumped before the Boggart, throwing it a glare filled with an anger she had not known she was cape able of.
Her hazel eyes flashed as her parents appeared in front of her, with looks of confusion and fury painted across their features.
"What? Get away from us, you madwoman! We have no child!" Her mother screamed shrilly.
"You are no daughter of ours!" Her father spat mockingly.
"RIDDIKULUS!" Hermione roared so loudly she thought her throat was tearing. She screamed loudly for everyone in the room, to rid them of their lingering fears. She screamed for Harry, for Ron, for all the Gryffindors and Slytherins who were stood in a stunned crowd behind her, for Professor Snape…
…Especially for Professor Snape.
There was a flash of blinding light, as the fear-imitating monster vapourised into millions of tiny atoms, which lingered for a split second in mid air, like minuscule shards of dazzling glass before the disappeared completely into nothingness.
Then there was a pause, in which Hermione didn't dare breathe in the air, for it seemed too pregnant with awkwardness and sheer shock for human consumption.
Then after a slight hesitation, she did one of the bravest things she had ever done in her life. She crossed the floor, then crouched down so she was directly next to her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.
She gave him a long, hard stare. He hadn't moved from the position he landed in after she pushed him. He was completely bent over, his shins pressed flat against the floor, and his hands propped up his upper body. His hands shook so much it made his whole frame quiver. His face was covered by the black veil of his hair, the ends of which brushed against the stones.
Hermione's heart gave a pang. She had never seen someone look so broken.
Slowly, slowly, she slipped an arm around his waist, which felt very skinny under her arms - too skinny, she realised later that evening. He let her pull him to his feet, unresisting. When he was firmly back on two feet she carefully untangled her arms from his, and he almost pulled her back so that he could collapse, weeping into her shoulder.
Almost.
But no, Professor Snape was back now, mortified and furious at everyone in the room for witnessing his little breakdown.
"10 points from Gryffindor Miss Granger!" He snapped at the teenager, who was still stood closely at his side.
"Huh? What for?" Her voice was heavy with confusion.
"Pushing a teacher." He sneered at her. Snape sniffed and tried to ignore the pain he felt when her little face fell.
"I understand Professor."
Her sentence made his eyebrows rise up to meet his hairline. He had expected some fight from her, and argument on how she had saved him from the brink of insanity. That way he would have been able to make some withering comments, and detract a foolish amount of house points so everyone would forget the vulnerable side they had just witnessed.
He watched as she stalked away from him, and Hermione brushed past her friends so she could slump down at her desk. She gripped her quill so tightly her knuckles went white, and she stared dead ahead with glassy eyes.
"Well?!" Snape's voice was piercingly frightening. "Get back to your seats!"
The class carried out his instructions without quarrel. He brushed down his robes, before throwing himself into his chair.
"I want an essay on the effects and life of a Boggart, both sides of a piece of parchment, completed by the end of this lesson."
"But Sir!" A student cried out defiantly. "There are only ten minutes left until the end!"
"I suggest you get on with it then." Snape replied coldly, then lowered his head to start marking papers, signalling to all that the subject was closed.
However, unknown to the students, Snape was actually performing his usual trick of appearing totally engrossed in a paper, while actually watching the class with a careful eye.
The room was thick with the sound of quills frantically scribbling on paper. All quills except one.
Snape watched as Hermione just stared at her blank piece of parchment, eyes filled with unshed tears, and she gazed, unseeing.
"Time's up." He growled a short while later. "Come to the front one by one, and leave your essay on my desk. Now."
The students sprang into action after hearing his no-nonsense tone. To his surprise, most of them had written the required amount. Even Longbottom had only been half a page short.
Hermione was the last to approach his desk, and put her parchment down with looking at him. She turned to walk away, but stopped when she felt a hand on her arm.
"And what, Miss Granger, do you call this?" He asked her silkily, brandishing her work.
"It's my essay Sir." She replied, staring at her feet.
"Did I not ask for both sides of the parchment to be written on?"
"Yes Sir."
"And how much have you written?" He asked lowly, but loud enough so that the whole class could hear him.
"Two words, Professor." She whispered.
"And what are those two words?" He pressed, a malicious smirk spread across his face.
"Hermione Granger." She answered, her humiliation almost radiating off her.
"So, while most of the class have completed their essays, you think you can get away with writing only your name?"
"I-I'm sorry Sir…"
"Not good enough!" He scowled at her. "See me after the class. Maybe then you can explain your lack of work."
She said nothing, but nodded sadly and walked back to her desk.
"Sad state of affairs when the school know-it-all refuses to finish her work." He called after her, and saw her stiffen in her seat. To any passer-by she would have seemed completely indifferent to the situation, as she kept a blank face. However, Snape's trained eye didn't miss the way her hands shook when she brushed a lock of her wild hair from her face.
*****
"You wanted to see me Sir?" Hermione asked, books hugged to her chest, after the last of the students had walked out of the door.
"You don't say." He sneered. The teenager worried her bottom lip with her teeth and shifted her weight to her other foot.
There was a long pause, and Hermione could feel Snape's gaze burning into her head. Suddenly he sighed, and rose to his feet, the sudden noise making her jump.
He strode over to a bookshelf and began re-arranging the old tomes.
"Miss Granger?" He began, then looked at her over his shoulder. "Fifty points to Gryffindor."
Hermione felt her breath catch in her throat, and she glanced up into her teacher's deep black orbs. Snape realised it was the first time she had looked at him since she had helped him up. He nodded once, then turned back to his books.
Suddenly, Snape felt a warmth on his back, and looked down to see arms encircling his waist. She was…hugging him from behind?
"Miss Granger?!" Snape gasped, totally stunned, and she squeezed him gently.
"Thank you." Hermione whispered into his back. "You've done so much for us. For this school. In fact, if it wasn't for you, I'd probably be dead by now. So I just wanted you to know that you're not alone anymore. You've been through so much, and I want you to know that I'm here for you."
She trailed her hand down his arm, and entwined their fingers.
"Always." She finished firmly.
They stood there for a long time - how long, neither of them knew. They just relished the feeling of being safe, Hermione clinging to her teacher with a small smile on her face, and Snape had his head tilted back slightly, feeling - for once - completely at peace.
"I-I…I suggest you get off me, before I consider taking away the points that I just awarded you." Snape muttered, remembering himself.
Hermione chuckled lightly in his ear, and untangled herself from him.
"See you around Professor." She turned in the doorway, and watched him with a reassuring smile.
"I still expect you to write that Boggart essay Miss Granger."
She just laughed at him, and slipped out of the door, leaving him standing in the classroom with a funny feeling inside of him. A good feeling, he decided, one he recognised, but hadn't felt for many years.
After a minute, he crossed to his desk, pulled out a piece of paper, and wrote a long letter. An hour later, he stood up, stuffed the papers into a thick white envelope, and wiped a hand over his weary face. He felt a wetness on his cheeks, and realised with shock that it was tears.
Then Snape picked up his quill and wrote three short words on the envelope.
Miss Hermione Granger
He stared at it for a second, then went to his window, bewitched the letter so that it took the form of a bat, and threw it out into the air.
As it fluttered away, Snape felt a weight fall off his shoulders, and his heart felt much lighter.
Now maybe things would be different.
Maybe - just maybe - he could be happy.
THE END.
Author's Notes:
For anyone who is wondering, the ending can be whatever you like. Personally, when Hermione is talking to Snape I think she doesn't mean she's there for him romantically, rather she can be there as a friend if he needs someone to talk to. And that's what he writes in the letter, all his feelings and fears about his life.
It's odd, despite how much of a Snermione fan I am, I still don't see it as a romance thing. Of course, it can be if you want it to be =D
And THANK YOU, for reading my dear friends, I shall love you forever! Of course I'll love you even more if you tap that little review button…
I hope you enjoyed my little tale, and thanks for being here!
~ Kookie Evans