A/N: Hello lovelies. This is a…very…quick and spur of the moment story. Hope you like? Remember: Reviews are love.

Note: Assume Atlantic City is near NYC. 'Cuz I have no idea where it actually is.

Summary: Bella was the one person to go to about love – which was hysterical because she had virtually no love life of her own…until a drunken blind date leaves her married to the sexy Dr. Edward Masen.

Please understand that I'm extremely busy nowadays - Volleyball practices are starting soon, high school is being horrible, and I'm taking extra courses from John Hopkins. I'm hoping this will be less that 10 chapters. It will be finished. But I can't promise that it will be updated fast.

Unless you guys convince me of it ;). If I get like 100 responses that ask me to update it before I do anything else, than I will.

Urban Decay

Chapter 1: Drunken Amnesia

B

I've been inching to watch the movie – what was it called? – oh yes….cloudy with the chance of meatballs. Something about that title just struck me. Like a bolt of lightning, if you would. As horribly corny as that sounds, the first time I had heard that title that was exactly what I thought. Zap.

I guess that wasn't the best way to start my story, was it? But everyone always says to start things with a bang, to reel the person in (as if you guys are fish, am I right?) – No matter how ridiculous, insignificant, or random the statement might be. Everyone can be wrong. Yes, I should probably start by saying I personally believe that I suffer from a branch of OCD. No, I don't take medication, and I'm not like that man in the detective show. I'm not afraid of germs, nor do I fret when I'm attacked by a line of dust (although I have had severe eye infections from them).

What I do know, however, is I need to be in control of my life. Controlling, conniving – whatever you would like to call it. I like to know that whatever endeavor I choose to pursue, that the outlook will always be in my favor. Throwbacks were not an option.

My life was (sense the word 'was') perfect. I had a great job, a wonderful family, a beautiful home, and probably the best friends a girl could ask for. I was without a boyfriend or any type of serious relationship, and that is exactly how I'd like it. Relationships were unpredictable – and, therefore, did not fit my life plan.

But then my life chose to stab me in the back, and do this little thing that everyone does every so often. It changed.

A good or bad change, I can't tell you. Maybe a good change…but then again, it was just as bad as it was good. Let's call it a 'gad' change then. Or, a 'bood' change. Actually, made up words were not the best things to use in this situation, so let's just refer to it as The Change.

I could cue some maniacal laughter or a dash of thunder right about now. The Change! Flashes of lighting, crack bam boom! I can see it now – the best new feature film. Thank you, thank you I would say as I accepted my award for best adapted screenplay.

I'm getting ahead of myself, and I apologize. I suppose I will introduce myself first. My name is Isabella – Bella – Swan. I reside in the bustling city of New York, where the buildings graze the clouds and the lights blind a person every so often. It's beautiful at night – the yellow cabs and the yellow umbrellas in an uproar at rush hour.

I make my living by making sure other people are living their lives. Or rather, that they are living their love lives properly.

It started out as a joke between my friends and I. My friend, Alice, was studying to be a fashion designer (who is doing extremely well for herself right now). Rosalie had a degree in engineering, but she paid the bills by doing what she had the genes for – modeling. I graduated from college with the intent of being an Author – I'd read brilliant novels that captivated me, and I always wanted to create a world that I could call my own.

Writing, however lucrative it could be, is not a great way to start making a living. Alice and Rosalie were well on their way to being the best in the states (Alice's designs are wildly popular, and Rosalie's face was everywhere). I was sitting at home drinking tea.

Alice had made me a Yahoo email address for business purposes (my hotmail tended to send out spam to all my contacts, and a publisher certainly wouldn't want to see that). I found Yahoo a bit overrated, but I sucked it up and went with it. I decided to explore the community and before I knew it, I grew an addiction to Yahoo Answers.

Funny, I know. I answered many questions, and was delighted when I was chosen the best answer. I quickly gained points, and was at the top ten lists within weeks. I was the top contributor to the 'relationships' category – which was hysterical to Rosalie because I hadn't been in a relationship since junior year of college.

The editor of the New York Times approached me with the idea of starting a love advice column – which I refused. Sure I loved giving advice, but I found corresponding with strangers with a column in the newspaper was not going to help them at all.

And then…it happened. A man named Jacob Black approached me. He was funny man, that one. An extremely handsome one too—if he'd been straight, I would have jumped him right then and there. He was olive-skinned with raven hair cut short. He was smiling charmingly, and if I would have swooned if I'd been into that kind of thing. He introduced himself, and explained his dream of creating a show about love.

He offered me a contract to be the headliner of the show – I would be receiving calls from women and men, and I would give them advice on live television. It was a wonderful idea, and I jumped on the wagon. I signed my name, and I have been on that show for years.

The ironic thing was that I was probably one of the most famous love advisers in the country…and yet my love life could be described as nonexistent. You would think I could give absolutely no advice in the world for my lack of a relationship. But the truth was, by being single (and experiencing my fair share of failed romances) I was able to observe the relationships of others (including the up-and-down relationship of Renesmee and Jacob…and the near perfect relationship of Alice and Jasper), and I gave the best advice there was.

Everything was going perfect for me, and I loved it. I loved my life. I wanted nothing to change.

…which is probably why it did.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves - Victor Frankl

B

I woke up precisely twenty minutes ago. I had the coffee machine brewing my delicious black and milk blend. Slipping into my 100% cotton robe, I grabbed my cup of coffee and walked to the living room.

I lived in the penthouse of the Beresford. It was a beautiful home – three bedrooms (two of which were reserved for Rosalie and Alice whenever they needed it) and two bathrooms. It had the perfect kitchen – I adored cooking – and a sizable living room. I'll admit it's a large home for little old me, but when you live the life I live…nothing else is good enough.

Feeling around for the remote, I flipped the TV on and sat comfortably on the couch. The Plasma TV flickered to life. I watched as Ellen DeGeneres – one of my close friends – appeared on the screen. She was grinning, her blond swept bangs covering one of her eyes.

An upbeat song was playing as she danced with the audience.

"Hey everyone!" Ellen smiled, waving exaggeratedly to the audience, "Our first guest today is known as the one to go to for love advice! Please welcome Bella Swan!" She stood up, clapping as the audience cheered.

The song that has been plaguing my thoughts for months exploded on the screen as I watched myself walk into Ellen's floor.

Gotta get-get. Gotta get-get. Gotta get-get. Gotta g-g-g-get-get-get, get-get…Boom boom boom, gotta get-get. Boom boom boom, gotta get-get

TV me – let's refer to TV me as Bels – danced (slightly awkwardly) towards the middle. I laughed as Bels started twirling. I was so embarrassing. Bels hugged Ellen eagerly – I was hugging a freaking mogul – and sat down.

"So I hear you are absolutely terrific at giving advice at relationships!" Ellen gushed, winking. "Let's see some clips of when infamous – and my good friend – Robert Verdi talked to people on the streets about love!"

The camera zoomed into the TV between the seats.

"Thank you Ellen!" Robert exclaimed, absentmindedly adjusting his scarf. "We're going to go around and ask people the same question!"

"Hey there!" He pulled a blond girl away from her boyfriend. "What's your name?"

"Charlie Bishop!" She chirped.

He grinned, "Now, who do you go to when you need help with love."

"No contest! Bella Swan!" She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I grinned to myself.

Robert turned and launched himself towards a group of squealing girls.

"Who do you girls go to for advice?"

They all looked at each other and squealed in unison, "Bella Swan!"

"Thank you ladies," He smiled and approached a man – a delicious man I might add. "And who do you go to for advice on love."

He smiled charmingly, "Only one person. Bella Swan."

"You heard it here, people." Robert grinned to the camera, "Bella – and only Bella – is the one to go to for love advice! See you later Ellen!"

The camera locked on Ellen's face. "Thanks Rob, we'll talk to you later." She focused her playful gaze at Bels.

"I'm scared already," Bels muttered, and the audience laughed.

"How old are you Bella?"

"I'm turning twenty-two this year." Bels smiled proudly.

"Wow! You're only twenty-one and you are already incredibly successful. I heard about the nominations at the Day Time Emmy's. Congratulations!"

"Thanks! I'm not too excited though. We have a tendency to lose in our category."

"Nonsense, I'm sure you'll win this year." The audience cheered.

Bels beamed. "Thanks, Ellen. That means a lot to me."

"Of course! So, you're great at giving advice – thanks for the advice you've given me by the way." She added, laughing. Bels and the audience joined in. "Since you're so good at giving advice on love, I have to ask. How is your love life?"

Bels blushed a little, "I knew that question was going to come up."

"The more the reason for you to answer!"

"Well, I'm not seeing anyone if that's what you're asking."

A series of 'awwws' erupted in the crowd.

"Hey, why are you aw-ing?" Bels laughed, "It's just no guy has caught my eye yet."

"Well it's great that you're keeping to your standards, Bella!"

"When I meet the right guy, who challenges me in ever aspect, and is kind and caring – then I'll come back here and introduce him!"

"That would be fabulous!" Ellen giggled. "Would you say finding a guy like that is difficult?"

"Yeah. I don't like dating off the street. I normally meet people through my friends," Bels glared playfully to the camera, "Thanks for the blind dates, Alice and Rosalie." Bels teased sarcastically.

"Alice? You mean the fashion designer? And Rosalie, the model?" Ellen asked.

"Yup," Bels smiled, "We went to the same college. They're brilliant people, and we've been best friends since then."

"That's great!" Ellen smiled, "We have to cut to commercial for now, but when we get back, Bella will be answering your questions about love!"

Boom Boom Pow erupted again, as Ellen and Bels danced a little.

I turned the TV off, rolling my eyes at my horrible answers. I had a TV show, but when I went on someone else's, I always managed to make a fool of myself.

A buzz alerted me that someone was waiting for me downstairs. I knew of only two people who woke up at this time. Actually, let me edit that – I know of one person who woke up at this time, with the audacity to force another girl to wake up with her. Yes – that makes a bit more sense.

I pressed the call button and waited patiently for her voice to fill the room.

"Bella?" Alice's high voice called, distorted a little by the static. "It's a hundred degrees outside and Rosalie is sweating like a hog - I'm sorry Rose but its true...don't glare at me, it doesn't suit you. Stop glaring. Okay, now you just look retarded. You look like a pit bull. Rosalie, stop. Stop! Bella, will you please let us in?"

"Sure, come up." I tapped the button that would open the door. I tightened the tie on my robe, and walked towards the door. Knowing Alice, she was probably outside. I heard a knock, and knew I was right. I opened the door, and walked back to the living room.

Alice had multiple bags in her hands – filled with sketches of her new line, no doubt. The best thing about Alice was also her worst thing. She never stopped working. Rosalie was blowing at her nails, a little bored.

"Why are you here, Alice?" I ventured.

"It's a beautiful day today, Bella. Much too beautiful to waste sitting around here in a cotton robe." She inspected my outfit, "Which, by the way, doesn't match your skin tone at all."

"I'm too busy to leave the house. I'm going to write an outline for our next few shows."

"Bella, you can't keep working." Rosalie quipped. You both have been working nonstop. Let's go live a little."

"I do live…a little. I go out to get my newspaper, I buy my groceries, and I go to the movies once a month."

"Boy am I glad I planned the trip to Atlantic City for us! It'll be legendary." Rosalie grinned to herself.

"Oh right, our trip."

"You didn't forget did you?"

"It's just…I've been so swamped. The new season is coming soon, and there are a whole lot of pilots and different projects emerging. I need to keep the show on top. And I can't do that if I don't work 24/7. And I'm the executive producer for the show now so I have even more work to—"

"This is exactly why we are taking a trip. I do not want to hear anything about work, okay?" Alice grinned. "Just a weekend of pure fun – gambling, hanging out. Then we can go home, and you can go back to work…and then we'll take another trip some other time too."

"When are we leaving?"

"Right now!" Rosalie laughed.

"What? Now?!"

"Our bags are in the car downstairs. You, on the other hand, must get packing right now."

"But I haven't finished the scr—"

"Up ah ah ah!" She stopped me, "I'll help you. You just sit here and look pretty."

Alice was a tornado, grabbing all the clothes from my closet that I would never wear. I liked wearing casual clothes – skinny jeans, a pair of converse shoes, and a fashionably designed blouse. Alice picked the few dresses and skirts I had, as well as the pair of shoes I didn't realize I had.

She tossed me clothes and shoes and told me to put them on now.

I examined the pieces carefully. It was a black cocktail dress with green lining that reached inches above my knees. It had a fitted bodice but it was loose around my thighs. The shoes were an expensive pair of Manolo Blahnik's. I slipped into the dress and heels after taking off my robe.

"You look fabulous," Rosalie commented, "I don't know why you don't dress up like this more often."

"I dress for comfort." I replied, adjusting the fitted bodice carefully. This wasn't comfortable.

Alice lugged two bags with her. "Okay, let's go."

"You're done?" I asked, "I take at least a day to pack. I need to think about the necessities I need and—"

"Oh my goodness, Bella! You must learn how to just live instead of over-thinking it all." Rosalie grunted.

"Okay, fine. One weekend. Drinks, gambling, and then we go home." I replied, "Okay?"

"Sure."

We made our way downstairs. Alice's yellow Panamera was parked out front, and we all climbed in. Alice was talking about her latest fashion line, and Rosalie was checking herself out in the rear view mirror. I was strapped into the backseat because I was the youngest. Biased.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" Alice asked.

"What?"

"Jasper's coming with us."

"I thought it was just going to be a girl's weekend?"

"Well, he just happened to be there for a medical conference."

"That was convenient." I commented dryly. "As long as he doesn't get all mushy with you, I'm good."

"Oh, Jasper is going to bring his friend as well."

"What?'"

"His friend. I haven't met him yet, but he's also there for a medical conference."

"Why would I care about that?" I blew at my bangs. "Wait – you're setting me up aren't you?"

"No," Rosalie giggled.

I groaned. "You guys…I thought this was just going to be a laid back vacation!"

"It will be! We're going to meet them tonight. If you don't want to, then we won't."

I knew they were lying.

"One night. That's it. I'm not meeting him tomorrow."

"For someone that knows so much about love…you really don't know anything at all."

"Thanks, really."

"You know you love me."

B

We left our bags in the Bali suite of the Palazzo. It was a stunning room, much better than I expected. Although, at its price, it better have been stunning!

"Bella, Jasper is telling us to meet him downstairs at the bar."

I adjusted the dress I was wearing. "Coming." I'd been on a lot of blind dates – all set up by Rosalie or Alice. Sure, they were all lookers, but they weren't interesting at all.

"C'mon." Rosalie urged. We stepped in the elevator and rode it to the ground floor. "You look beautiful, by the way."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

We walked into the bar, and Alice immediately launched herself towards Jasper – his blonde hair like a beacon to her. Rosalie rolled her eyes. It was kind of gross to see her best friend so in love with her brother. Her phone rang, her eyes lit up. Probably talking to Tanya - one of our close friends from college.

I sat myself down at the bar, ordering a vodka martini extra dry, with extra olives. I played with the glass in my hand, barely noticing someone sitting next to me.

"Are you here alone?" I turned towards the voice. Sitting in the stool beside me was a man in his twenties, with striking green eyes and sort of angular features. His hair was tousled, but tousled in a way that it looked purposely styled that way. He was incredibly handsome, I'd give him that. But it was just a pretty face.

"Unfortunately, no. My friends over there," I nodded towards Alice and Rosalie. "Are setting me up with a friend of her boyfriend."

"That's funny. My friend is setting me up with his girlfriend's friend." He arched an eyebrow.

"What's the name of your friend?"

"Jasper." He replied, taking a sip from his drink.

"Alice is Jasper's girlfriend." I rolled my eyes, "I guess they set me up with you."

He drank in my appearance. "At least Jasper has good taste." He commented. "You look gorgeous."

I laughed. "Thanks I guess. You're not too bad yourself. My name's Bella Swan."

"I'm Edward Masen."

"Just so you know, I didn't want to be set up." I said, "They always pull something like this on me."

"I understand completely, but what I don't understand is why someone as stunning as you doesn't have a boyfriend."

"I'm against relationships." I waved him off.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm the host of the TV show. The one about love?"

"That's where I know you from! I knew I recognized you from somewhere, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was." He smiled genuinely, and it was a heartbreaking smile. His eyes were smoldering, and I found my heartbeat quickening. "You have a great show." He replied. "I am a surgeon at the hospital in Manhattan."

"That's very impressive." I looked at him. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but how about we just talk and drink tonight. I don't really want to get into a relationship right now."

"Don't worry, I feel the same way. I got out of a very serious relationship about a year ago, and haven't seriously dated anyone since."

I glanced at Alice, who was in a full make out session with Jasper. "They're so in love it's almost disgusting."

He laughed, "I noticed. Would you like another drink?"

"Yes please." He ordered me another glass of a vodka martini.

I brought my glass up. "Here's to being single."

He clinked his glass with mine. "And staying that way."

B

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I was naked. Except for a small excuse of underwear – damn Alice's constant shopping at Victoria's Secret – I was completely nude. But I wasn't very surprised – I've slept in the nude before. When I'm too lazy to grab my pajamas after a long day, I just slip my clothes off and climb in bed.

The second thing I noticed was I had mind-blowing headache. It was like my brain was too big for my skull. It throbbed painfully and I groaned.

The third thing I noticed was I wasn't alone in bed. And when I realized that, all hell broke loose.

Now, I don't normally swear – I'm a peaceful person, really – but this situation called for it.

"Who the fuck are you?!" I screeched, jumping out of bed. I wrapped the blanket around my body like a towel dress.

"Wha—" His voice was groggy, and he opened his eyes slowly. He drank in his surroundings, and his eyes widened immediately. "What the hell?" He ran his hand over his bare chest, and realized he was naked too. "Where the hell are my clothes?" He yanked himself out of bed, tumbling to the floor. The blanket I was wearing pulled me with him.

I landed on top of him. Bare chests and all.

"Get off of me!" I yelled, climbing off of him, making sure to keep the blanket wrapped securely around me.

"What did we do last night?" He asked. "My head hurts like shit."

I looked at him for the first time this morning. "Wait, I know you."

He looked at me. "You're…Bella. The girl Jasper set me up with."

"You're Edward." I commented. "What did we do last night?"

"I don't really remember."

"I remember laughing." I replied. "A lot. I laughed a lot. We drank a lot too."

"I remember making that toast, but after that it goes blank."

"Okay." I inhaled deeply. "We drank a lot, and we slept with each other." I thought for a second, tapping my fingers on my chin. "That's it. We'll go our separate ways after this. It was a no strings attached one night stand."

He ran a hand through his deliciously tousled hair. "Yeah, okay." He replied. "It's not like we live close to each other anyway."

"I live in New York."

"I live in Manhattan. That's not too close. We won't cross paths."

"Yeah…" I commented awkwardly. I have never been in a situation like this. This wasn't part of my life plan at all.

"Well, anyway. It was nice meeting you…I guess." He replied, just as awkwardly. He grabbed his belt from the floor. He waved at me a little before making his way to the bathroom behind me. Something flashed on his left ring finger.

"Wait!" I called. I had a horrible feeling in my gut. "What the fuck is on your ring finger?" I asked bluntly.

He turned. "What? I don't have any—" He glanced at his finger. "What the?"

"You were married? And you still agreed to go on a date with me?" I asked, incredulous.

"No, I'm not married. I don't know how this got here."

I ran my hand through my hair. Something cold spiked my scalp. I glanced at my finger. A simple silver band was on my finger. "What the hell? I'm not married either."

"What's going on?" He asked, bewildered.

An image flashed in my mind. I remembered being in a chapel. A small, little chapel with red roses at the entrance. I remembered the priest dressed as Elvis.

"Edward…" I looked at him cautiously, "What the fuck did we do last night?"

"I don't know." He groaned. I couldn't have gotten married last night. No. It was just a bad dream. It was just a coincidence. I bought a ring, and put it on the wrong finger. He did too. That was it.

Nothing more, nothing less. We slept together. That is it. We'll get on with our lives, separately. It'll be like this night didn't even happen.

He turned and bent down to grab his clothes, exposing his bare back to me.

"Oh shit," I whispered.

There, on his back, in clear block letters were the words that confirmed my fears. Just married.

A/N: You like? Review please. I don't want to continue this unless you guys like it. A million reviews please =(. I'd love you all for it. First reviewer GETS COOKIES.

Love you!

-Kim

Number of Pages: 11

Number of Words: 3,994

Completed: Yes

Edited: No